Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

So, kinda feel vindicated in putting up my Christmas last weekend as it’s snowed off and on the last few days and the long term forecast isn’t looking good. But if it does snow then it will cover up all the grey and hopefully the leaves that I don’t want to rake.  Isn’t home ownership fun kids?  lol  I totally get it’s a good problem to have.

As mentioned in an earlier post we got two bunnies as pets.  The little one had some uneven wear on her teeth that was causing issues in her mouth, so needed to be put under to have it corrected (filed down).  She had no issues with the procedure, yay, but was kinda funny to see her all spacey and loopy for a day or so while she got over whatever they gave her to put her under.  Apparently the uneven wear is very common for this breed of rabbit, so looking forward to doing this a few more times in the future.  Nawt.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Got my Covid booster shot today. It’s like I took the six demon bag! I can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do! And probably won’t get Covid like Aaron Rodgers.
Col. Duke LaCross

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Jesus, he almost hit that.
Col. Duke LaCross

“Who is Mary Magdalene? I’ll take ‘Biblical References’ for $800, Aaron.”

“Not so fast. The judges say that was a correct response, but I’m gonna check with Joe Rogan.”
Dunstan

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Found a funny;

teacher: really? your dog ate three different homework assignments in one night?

hades: yes
rockingdog

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Here’s Adam Schefter, with all the news that he’s pre-cleared with NFL GMs to share with us.
Horatio Cornblower

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Do you think Andy Dalton feels good about himself right now?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, he’s not getting turned into paste behind a shaky offensive line, and he’s cashing checks for $10 million.

I’m going to guess he’s feeling great.
Horatio Cornblower

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I’m up by 50+ points in FF and I have Harris and the Pitt D going tonight.

Yahoo thinks that there is a 1% chance that Harris and the Pitt D are going to lose more than 50 points tonight.
Horatio Cornblower

I’d say the odds are about as good as the Raiders being forced to cut two of their first round draft picks in a single week.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Accurate

Sharkbait

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Losing weight: have to buy a whole new wardrobe, potentially costing hundreds of dollars.
Gaining weight: no more need for that hefty belt budget, potentially saving hundreds of dollars.
Checkmate, field of Medicine.
herodotus450

I am switching to suspenders, they work no matter which way the weight fluctuates.
ArmedandHammered

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Found a funny;

Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don’t Create The Torment Nexus
rockingdog

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Agua is my side piece

Don T

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I move so often I have had many side pieces. Let’s see…. Seahawks, Jaguars, Falcons, Rams. I don’t hate the Chargers. Anybody within a 500 mile radius is better than the Pirates. I like the Ducks. Turns out I’m quite the slut!
Gumbygirl

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Dallas Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb’s fine last week from NFL for having his jersey untucked: $20,000

Aaron Rodgers fine for ignoring covid protocols and lying about it: $14,000

Priorities

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) November 10, 2021

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sounds about white.
Sharkbait

Someone did the math and Aaron Rodgers’ fine came out to approximately one play. A single play.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Did I black out at my desk? Is it Wednesday evening already? Where are my pants?

-T. Green
LemonJello

With the lack of pants, Mr. Green has the proper attire.
Sharkbait

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They really shouldn’t have bothered with the first 40 minutes of this game [TNF}
Doktor Zymm

“I hear that”

-NBA fans
SonOfSpam

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Folks. Just recovering from a lovely day in the newest of havens, New Haven, CT, with my wife and the estimable Don T., Esq. If possible, he is even more charming and generous in person, even willing to overlook my not being able to get into BAR because I didn’t realize they require proof of vaccination and left my card at home. Modern Apizza subbed in nicely. Beers, margaritas, tacos, and pizza were consumed.

Everyone go to Puerto Rico, and get to know Don! If you’re lucky, he’ll let you use a section of the paper towel roll I gave him, courtesy of BFC.
Horatio Cornblower

It’s great when your imaginary friends turn out to be real!
Gumbygirl

Oh we’re not real Gumbygirl.

This whole site and everything related to it is just happening because you got high.
Horatio Cornblower

I second this! Yesterday he was in the city and he, Senorita Weaselo, and I went to the Szechuan hotpot place Senorita and I went to for Halloween. I second both his charm and generosity, and that next time we’ll have a chance to have a longer evening out (it was Senorita and my anniversary as well), because I definitely owe him drinks.
Senor Weaselo

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These teams are saluting the wrong Vets today in their tribute to putting everyone to sleep.|
Gatoraids

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Andy Reid mis-heard “Brissett is starting,” and asked Alexa to set an alarm for 10 hours from now.
LemonJello

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Uh oh. A Tucker miss generally foretells bad reaping season.

Sit down, Ben. I said REAPING season.
SonOfSpam

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Those BK “ghost pepper” nuggets are marketing genius. Make it hot enough, nobody can really tell that the base is just a rat/sawdust mix.
King Hippo

Well, now the cat is out of the bag*

*which chages the texture of those nuggets.
LemonJello

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Hola, fellow degenerates and commoners.
WCS

Look man, if I have to curtsey, I’m gonna need a hand getting back up. Have one of your lackeys on standby.
Gumbygirl

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I really wish you all could see how shitty and annoying Canadian commercials are on TSN. They play 6 on repeat for 3 hours.
litre_cola

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Kings won in Toronto on Monday and Montreal on Tuesday; if they win in twOttawa tonight, they officially get the deed to Canadia from Queen Elizabeth The Old.
SonOfSpam

I look forward to the liposurgery street vendors, the cocaine fountains and the sham recall vote on the Zamboni driver.
scotchnaut

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Found a funny;

it’s crazy that they only figured out tectonic plates in the 60s. a child in the 50s would say “it seems like south america and africa would fit together” and his mom would go “that’s cute honey would you like a cigarette”
rockingdog

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A very happy birthday to Señor Weaselo! Had the pleasure to meet Srta. and him waaay back, when Weaselo was still in his 20s. What a sweet and fun couple; only once I had to go to the bathroom to barf.

KIDDING. It was a helluva treat to hang out with them.

Happy birthday, lizard friend. Keep hustlin’, and a big hug.
Don T

What the hell? You were in NYC and you didn’t even swing by LA to see us? I thought we were friends, dude!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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A business has to have priorities

on the real pic.twitter.com/Vd2R3XOxZv

— Graham Tome Biyáál (@gbeyale) November 12, 2021

Horatio Cornblower

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“If this team could get consistent service in the box we’d have better results”

And now my wife is glaring at me, so thanks a lot, announcer-guy.
Horatio Cornblower

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VW ads for “emission free” vehicles is hilarious. That’s like trusting Cosby to pour you a drink.
TheRevanchist

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Fucking WI-FI at rehab times out after times out after 10 minutes. That kinda sucks.
Viva La Tabula Raza

Unless it’s an internet porn addiction rehab, that seems counterproductive
Doktor Zymm

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also, VLTR – no pressure or anything, but the last Commentist in rehab got engaged to an honest-to-GAWD Princess within 6 months.
King Hippo

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These JV playoff frauds aren’t going to finish before the Turtles game.

How will the WWL handle this?
Mr. Ayo

I blame Hippo for this post. Here’s what I meant to ask:

Cincy/USF isn’t going to finish before the USMNT game. Where will ESPN air the start of the USMNT fixture?
Mr. Ayo

I have to translate in my head before talking to normal people, although I’ve also been teaching people some of the more accessible Hippoese
Doktor Zymm

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Recommended reading:
https://theathletic.com/2935126/2021/11/13/the-marshall-islands-the-last-country-on-earth-without-a-football-team/

(first little bit below)

The United Nations recognises 195 countries and 194 of those play football.
From San Marino to South Sudan, Vanuatu to the Vatican City, all the nations on Earth have played an international fixture, except one — the Marshall Islands.
It’s a country that lies in the coral atolls of the North Pacific between Australia and Hawaii, far past where medieval explorers mapped the edge of the world. Millennia before, the first Marshallese sailors had already named the islands “Ad jolet jen Anij” — “Our blessed inheritance from God”. Split across two island chains — the Ratak, meaning sunrise, and the Ralik, sunset, — 60,000 people call it home.

Their nation is known for tuna production, exotic holidays, but also for more violent events — the United States tested nuclear weapons on its Bikini Atoll between 1946 and 1958. It is known for being more at risk from climate change than any other country in the world. It is not known for football.
The Marshall Islands is not a member of FIFA, has never had a national football team, and does not even operate a domestic league.
Now though, a group of enthusiasts are racing to change that.
They have a long-term plan to play in World Cup qualifiers — but this country formed upon the skeletons of sunken ancient volcanoes faces having its fire extinguished by the rising sea.
King Hippo

Now I’m curious about the Vatican City football team. Are they nicknamed the Cardinals? Are they really eager to make that first touch? When a player gets redcarded, do they just reassign him to another game on a different field and hope nobody notices?
Dunstan

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Morning. I’m dehydrated and my feet hurt. Good thing next weekend is the one where I’m walking 60 miles.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only 940 to go! Ba-da-da-la-da!! – The Proclaimers, Glasgow, SCO
King Hippo

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RIKKI’S BRAIN: Man, waking up without a hangover feels so nice. I wish I could feel this way every morning.

RIKKI’S CONSCIENCE: You can! All you need to do is…

RIKKI’S ID: [hurriedly silences RIKKI’S CONSCIENCE with a big slug of breakfast bourbon]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIKKI’S RAIDERS: Yum! That bourbon was tasty! Let’s do 8 more shots and go for a ride!
Horatio Cornblower

RIKKI’s RAIDERS: Got anything that tops out above 150 mph, let’s take that one!
ArmedandHammered

Don’t forget to bring your guns, everyone!!
King Hippo

Richie, did you bring enough guns for eve…

What am I talking about? Of course Richie brought enough guns for everyone.
Horatio Cornblower

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scotchnaut
Editor
November 13, 2021 8:05 pm
Sens up 4-0 on the Pens because you just won’t stop touching yourselves!

WCS would be upset, but he’s banging a princess.
King Hippo

One does not BANG a princess.

One gently PLOWS a princess.

Learn some manners, heathen.
SonOfSpam

in the case of British princesses the plowing is often done into a tunnel wall
SonOfSpam

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That’s a twist: this time it’s Roethlisberger that gets violated by something entering his body without permission.
Redshirt

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The Ben: OUT (COVID)

You just know he’s going to turn out to be unvaccinated.
Fronkenshteen

Ben hates vaccine mandates. He has very strong feelings about anyone having anything inserted into them against their will.
Dunstan

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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