NYG @ TB: JPP’s Back! will not be talked about nearly as much as his missing digits. If he can do something/anything to help it would be much appreciated by the league leader in yards allowed. Couple that with being last in the league in sacks and you’ve got a functional alcoholic examining his options. Thanks Steve Spagnuolo. LB Kwon Alexander won his second Defensive Rookie of the Week award under trying circumstances. His nickname is Genghis Kwon. Tampa came out with a win in OT against the Falcons last week despite blowing a 17 point lead. I expect the Giants to blow that sort of lead this week.
Atl @ SF: How do the Falcons come away with a win here? I think it all comes down to “don’t f*ck up”. They’ve given the ball away 12 times in the last four games-that’s got to stop. Things must be bad when as an organization you turn to QB Gabbert to solve your problems. Weird stat: In his last 4 games Kaep did not, repeat, not turn the ball over-no Int’s or fumbles. 30 yr. old RB Thomas joins this rapidly sinking ship. He hasn’t seen any action since being set adrift by the Saints last March. His legs should be fresh and ready to go though, right?
Den @ Ind: If I was a schedule-maker back in the spring I would have paired these two up in a heartbeat. Now it doesn’t look all that great. Peyton has been up and down all year long. His game-day QBR’s have ranged from 25.2 (2 weeks ago vs. Cleveland) to 93.6 (last week vs. Green Bay) Luck is 7th in QBR in the fourth quarter of games and dead last for the first three. I doubt he’ll put things together against the Denver D. Retread Rob Chudzinski who has been with The U (blarf!), Cleveland, the Chargers, Cleveland again, the Chargers again, Carolina, Cleveland again and now the Colts will set things right for the O. You just watch.
27 yards to the record…..runs down to the 27. COINCIDENCE?!
I really need Phillip Rivers wife to go into labor tomorrow night (I am just assuming she is pregnant) or Martellus Bennett to decide to hold out for a new contract tomorrow or both to possibly get a FF win this week. Even then I need McFadden to stay under 25 + whatever Gould puts up.
A couple of weeks ago a commentator said she was due with their EIGHTH kid any day now, but I never heard anything about her having it yet.
I’m assuming that it’s because she doesn’t have electricity on account of spending her money feeding her litter?
*Hope she’s well
think she did have it. Probably just fell out and she continued toiling in the fields
Six girls and two boys.
Holy fuck, it really is 8? I mean her vagina is a clown car, right?
Good for the Colts if it holds, but the dream is starting to shatter
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/661412877828493312
Giants activate optimum stress mode as per the usual.
fucking shit fuck
shitty fucking shit
An ex of mine had a great phase, “hell fuck shitfire and damnation,” which I have since stolen. I grant it to everyone here.
I so exasperated my mom once when I was a teenager that she called me a “fucking fuck.” She does NOT enjoy my telling that story, though I found it cool, then and now.
Why in the name of jesus fucking christ and all his holy goddamned cocksucking angels are you using such foul language?
I was in a catholic school until I entered high school; in 8th grade, I had a nun refer to me, and I quote, as a “fucking jerk.”
I mention this in interviews.
http://thelaughbutton.com/site2/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/reggiewatts_fss1.gif
I’ll take, “Things Bruce Jenner said after waking up the next morning with tits and no penis for $200, Alex.”
I’ll eat this lime wedge. NO SCURVY FOR ME!
Feckin English.
Urge to kill…rising (again)
http://36.media.tumblr.com/9b6cf2a3bf060e2d41618230883ddcc8/tumblr_ntx9g4oqNi1so0sfmo1_500.jpg
one second earlier and it’s 24-17 Donks
and then THAT
Airborne Toxic Event’s “Duet” is a very, VERY sad song. ppl forget that.
Faster than a speeding supermarket security guard! Leaps uncooperative sexual partners in a single bound! He is…SUPER RAPIST!
…right in the pussy.
That Hyundai commercial where that beta guy is too afraid to wake up his baby, walks outside and gets in his car and starts scream celebrating and terrorizing his elderly neighbors after Houston Texans win…. it would be 10X better with a garden hose running from the tailpipe to the window.
I hate that guy, not least because he goes outside so as not to waje the babby and then IMMEDIATELY BLOWS THE FUCKING HORN.
Ads that have honking horns, crying babies …. and a few other things that have slipped my mind put me in full product boycott mode.
THE HOSE IS INCLUDED IN THE PERFORMANCE PACKAGE OPTION AVAILABLE AT YOUR HYUNDAI DEALER TODAY
Wait, redzone cut away. Did Kaepernick run any plays or did Tomsula just elect to punt rather than let him play QB?
He would make such a lovely RB. Why can’t we have the ostrich just ostrich and not try to throw with his vestigial wings?
NEVAR change, Bucs
http://31.media.tumblr.com/0200791ba0c312b14db0408b73585dc8/tumblr_micvabJfls1r9iyl8o1_400.gif
This Yinzer is entertaining. He just made a Blaine Gabbert joke.
Shockingly, the Giants playcall was to throw to OBJ. How could the Bucs have seen it coming?
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
It’s their fucking unimaginative running game that puts them in third and long so they “have” to go to him. Go long to Harris on first just so the box isn’t stacked.
/fucking fucks
Okay, so we have to seriously consider that maybe the Broncos just play like shit at the start of games so people underestimate them, despite them demolishing their opponents in the last 31ish minutes of the game.
31 minutes of competence?
Good start, Kaep!
Where have you gone, Devonta Dimaggio?
Welcome back, Kaep. Goddamnit….
http://25.media.tumblr.com/6e78745b48c89a8d956f762379a4c782/tumblr_mmhg76TZ3x1rvtlumo5_500.gif
He’s back in?
they done killed THE FLOW?
Confession: listening to audio from Niners, watching Clots. Can’t really say what knocked out the Flow. I do knot that Kaep’s gonna Kaep
Did the Colts just leave at halftime or something?
PeyPey ate some stem cell gummies
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike Evans got himself a case of the drop-eroos.
And MRSA, that’s the Bucs companion disease.
Holy shit! What a sweet block for that 1st Denver down. Gritty.
offense starting to click
Any suggestions for a TV show I should watch with the Denver game on mute on my other monitor so I can sort of watch and kill some time until… fuck, it is Phi/Dal tonight? Maybe I should just try to keep up with entropy’s drinking tonight instead.
Watching any NFC East Conference game sober is highly not recommended.
NO ONE SHOULD EVER KEEP UP WITH MY DRIKING
That said, I am a big fan of Elementary, if you’ve never watched it, for a lot of reasons, not least being lucy goddam lui
Erementaly?
Rucy Rui!
I liked the first 2ish seasons of it but gave up on it, I am thinking because it was my third favorite TV Show/Movie Sherlock Holmes series actively on, never really disliked it. I stopped watching before this lovely lady started showing up because I randomly caught a glimpse of an ep she was on shortly after
http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/guyspeed.com/files/2014/04/Natalie-Dormer-6.gif
Pick it back up, if you’ve no active dislike for it. because it’s very well done, and it has LUCY GOD DAMN LUI. But seriously, it’s fun and entertaining and johnny Lee Miller was also Sickboy.
At the Yinzer bar. Ordered something called ‘hot mess fries’ which I am attempting to eat with a fork while drinking an admirably strong vodka soda and talking to a yinzer who has odell beckham on his fantasy team.
Would those fries fit into my low-sodium diet?
The magic eight ball says: Doubtful
Much stronger than I am; one of my best friends is a Steeler fan, and I can’t be around many of them without becoming irrationally violent.
(I got that all out without a tuping mystake)\
(GOD DAMN IT)
try that sweet fake again
UGH, tackle FFS
There’s my Eli.
MANNINGCEPTION
Yes Jim let’s remember the women who served on the USS Indianapolis
And Phil, let us remember Quint from Amity Island, MA who died tragically 40 years ago.
Maybe he was referring to the female sharks that were served dinner aboard the Indianapolis after she sank.
Giving their best receiver a ten yard cushion on 3rd and 9 is an interesting choice.
Odell makes for a lovely safety blanket.
Manningbot td celebration
http://media.giphy.com/media/S0hxMGYFhEMzm/giphy.gif
Does any else watch that and think…dual handjobs?
No, but now that you mention it…
Optimum tip-to-tip efficiency?
That was the best math-based joke of the past few years.
Clots
OK, I take a break and do some work in the garage (real men do that), and come back to a…game?
Truth. Although, I have always enjoyed keeping a table saw in the house so that the neighbors worry when I start it up and don’t leave for a few ho
hours. A few hours. Yep. Drunk as fuck now.
Let’s do a thing, Donks!!!
Yeah. So I’m playing Gabriel’s “in Your Eyes” a few times. I’m cool with it, and only doing so because playing “Supper’s Ready” on repeat takes all goddamn night.
I actually like that song.
Which one? I have no problem with anything Pete’s recorded.
Ditto. But I do have a hard time listening to that one.
In Your Eyes? In some ways, so do I, but I’m drunk as fuck and feeling like it’s necessary, so why not?
Yes, that’s the one.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uEwFxhC-Kc0/VMaM4fDjejI/AAAAAAAABeI/wXXVnfNRh3M/s1600/now-im-getting-verklempt.png
In Your Eyes…slow song but well done.
I fuckin love Peter Gabriel. I never understood the appeal of live music, as when I was younger, it was something in the background while I did my drawing thing… and then I saw Peter Gabriel, the 2nd of 3 shows he did for the Us album.
I was fucking transfixed. Live music, done well, with heart and humor and joy, is one of the great hidden joys of this world.
And that’s as real as I’m getting for this evening.
HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’, BOYS?!
Hee hee….eat a bag of dicks baby horseys.
SANDERS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well isn’t this interesting.
Oh Hippo…forgots to tell ya. With teh departure of Trevor Lacey, Freeman has traded in #10 for #1. Made me do a double take at first.
any Talibeards?
Oh yeah….plenty.
And Rowan will be sporting the bball version of the Giraffe Sprint (patent pending) totes fo sho.
So HP is trying to say my future is to sit on a bench with three other idiots, rotting my days away?!?
If I can pick the idiots, I’m OK with this being my future. Beats my “a porch, a rocking chair, and a bucket of rocks” plan.
Good defense, finally.
Men. MEN. I am below 10 beers left for the night. Things may get horrible from here on out. That is all.
Pray for Entropy.
Seriously. I am OK. I have a comfortable couch, a lovely bed, and warmth. I’m just letting everyone know that about an hour from now, I am NOT RESPIONSIBLE. I’d give my fucking keys to my neighbors if they were there.
http://www.animatedimages.org/data/media/703/animated-warning-image-0016.gif
Is booze delivery legal? If it is, I just had teh million dollar epiphany.
I know places that deliver.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfCofCkKKk8
Someone’s played Case Day before.
Oh, good, you have been slowing down. You will make it through the afternoon games. No chance to make it to the night games still
DO YOU DOUBT ME, SIR?!
I meant with beers left
I STILL HAVE VODKA
Tampa has just discovered that you can pass on the Giants.
Luck getting a little froggy.
Time to put that white boy on his arse.
catch that shit, TJ!!!
Just went down by NINETY (90) this week in ff. That ought to make a few people feel a little better, I guess.
welcome to my last week!
Your opponent has Antonio Brown?
DeAngelo & Newton. Oof.