It’s 4 O’clock-Do You Know Where Your Open Thread Is? Thread

Min @ Oak: As Cyrus once said in The Warriors, “Can you Diggs it?” When Stefon is not at some esoteric club he’s tearing it up on the field. QB Teddy and his 6 TD/6 Int’s is quite happy to have found someone that he has a rapport with. That ought to improve those ugly stats quite a bit. The Raiders have averaged 35.5 points in their last three while the Vikes D have been holding their opponents to an average of 17 all season long. This shall be an interesting game of strength against strength. Both of these teams are just beginning to understand just how good they actually are. Oakland has the poorer record because, quite understandably given their history, it took a little bit longer.

NE @ NYG: The Giants can’t stop the short passing game.* Brady excels at the short passing game and is on fire right now. Let’s watch and see how this plays out.

*or the medium or the long passing game

KC @ Den: This is another game that looked great at the beginning of the season. RB Davis, once the handcuff to JC, is on the inactive list. Oh how the not-mighty have fallen! You may ask yourself, “how are they going to replace 2.6 ypc?”. One of the other voices in your head would answer “Spencer Ware” sometime after it told you to kill the neighbour’s dog. Peyton is starting to turn things around, improving his completion %, yards per catch and QBR these last few weeks. Perhaps he’s getting some feeling back in his hands? That said, he’s got a foot thingy and a rib ailment that he’s dealing with. That sound you heard was Justin Houston and Tamba Hali and Andy Reid licking their chops. With respect to Houston and Hali I was speaking metaphorically.

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fleshwound_NPG

Donks glad that the Chiefs are worshiping the FG gods

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

IT’S NOT AN UNDERNEATH PASSING GAME, SHITHEAD! IT’S FINDING A WAY TO SPREAD THE FIELD BOTH HORIZONTALLY AND VERTICALLY! CAN WE JUST BAN ALL ANNOUNCERS?!?!

blackroseMD1

So did Jimmy Garoppolo shove Tawmy in a broom closet and then put on his uniform and a mask?

Dammit Brady…the one damn time I need you to be really good, you suck ass.

King Hippo

I liked when I thought that SNF drubbing was a sign the Donks were good as opposed to a harbinger of doom for the Packers.

Redshirt

France has launched 10 bombers and 20 bombs on ISIS targets in Syria.

Ne pas baiser avec la France!

Romonobyl

Go you fabulous frogs!

John Difool

They should have done that in their own country, might’ve killed more muslim terrorists that way.

blaxabbath

This is good. Millennials need a Vietnam to grow them up a lil’.

Bortleback

It’s apparently not a revenge attack though. And 2+2=5.

Smithchez

I like to think that Peyton and Eli were originally part of one child destined to be a super-quarterback but experienced a split. “Peyton” got the personality, intelligence, and general quarterbacking skills. “Eli” is an idiot savant who can only win in the playoffs and beat the Patriots.

John Difool

And have two Superbowl trophies.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Eli, you magnificent derpy son of a bitch!

The Maestro

God dammit. I hate the fucking Giants.

King Hippo

why wait to call fucking timeout?? moron

JustStopDude

My mother just called me up. Apparently my sister told her I was in Detroit. I answer the phone to…

“Juststopdude ARE YOU BACK ON THE HAIR-RON?!?”

“No Ma…why?”

“What the hell you doing in Detroit?!?”

The funny thing is my mother takes enough legal pills to kill a kill a hundred head of cattle.

Gratliff

Holy shit. There’s coffee concentrate now. Game changer.

John Difool

Tom Brady just made 11 dying children’s day “You too someday will be married to a supermodel and have sports commentators and referees wrapped around your manhood like a cock ring…… in heaven”

King Hippo

“Just kidding, kids. There is no heaven.”

John Difool

SAINT PEETAH ONLY ALLOWS YOU INTAH HEAVEN IF YOU WEAR A PATRIAWTS JERSEY AND WARSHIP THE GAWD KNOWN AS TAWM FAWKIN BWADY, NOONE DENIS THIS

Romonobyl

“Bwady”? I guess Porky Pig is from Southie.

John Difool

I worked with some guys from Boston years ago and to me it seemed liked they substituted their ‘R’s’ for ‘W’s’ when pronouncing a word.

blaxabbath

I’m Tony Romo. I’m Broken Collar Bone Tony Romo….

Old School Zero

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/20140818/5092569/paul-heyman-titantron-o.gif

MY NAME… IS PAULLLLL… HEYMAN! AND IT! IS! TIME! FOR YOU… TO PUT IN MY CLIENT…. BRRROOOOOOOOCK! OSWEIIIIIIILERRRRRRRRRRR! THE BACKUP INCARNATE!

blaxabbath

Manning looks like he has an old man guy with the way his qb jacket sits.

blaxabbath

gut

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Is there any other QB that throws for more 0-yard completions than Derek Carr?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Holy hell, Peyton.

Moonbatting Average

Put in Osweiler

King Hippo

I’m finally ready. He isn’t healthy enough to play today.

King Hippo

Oh sweet heavenly fuck

Shogun Marcus

Nothing like a big manly-man, being manly, wearing a giant poofball hat.

John Difool

3rd & 17, lets run it……” BILL BELLICHICK IS A GENIUS, NOONE FAWKIN DENIES THIS”

blackroseMD1

I need Tawmy to start actually putting up some stats. Then I need the meteor to strike the stadium with :01 left in the game.

The Maestro

YESSS ELICEPTION

John Difool

E-LOL Manning

King Hippo

The Giants should refuse to schedule anyone but the P*ts.

King Hippo

UGH never fucking mind

Old School Zero

McAdoo is still one of the funniest names in football today.

Romonobyl

Sounds like a Girl Scout cookie.

Old School Zero

One made with kool aid and canned frosting decorated as a smiley face

Romonobyl

Edelman abused his helmet…again.

This could go on all day.

King Hippo

Denver looks like poop. Getting no pressure.

Bortleback

After Talib was suspended for eye gouging they also told them they’re not allowed to wrap barbed wire around their hands or to mace their opponents, so they’re out of ideas

Romonobyl

We all know poop needs a little pressure.

John Difool

Edelman heading to the showers……. thanks I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses.

Romonobyl

That’s the Halle Barry of comments…dark but delicious.

King Hippo

It was a bad spot, but one never wins these Lovie challenges.

Romonobyl

Edelman’s hurt. I hope he doesn’t get…cut.

King Hippo

Damn it. Fortunate spot, Chefs.

John Difool

DEADLEMAN

Romonobyl

Cromartie is playing? By the end of the game I’ll bet three cheerleaders will be in their second trimester purely through association.

John Difool

I haven’t seen a Jew ripping through a giant like this since Davey &Goliath

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
John Difool

Best to steer clear away from that sriracha sauce.

Romonobyl

Are they playing for a participation trophy?

King Hippo

No way, winner likely the new AFC South favourite!!

Romonobyl

I’ll bet Tony’s been going through the paper mache like a bitch.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Manning: Chasing Meaningless Recooooooords

Romonobyl

I can’t bring myself to want a Pats win, so instead I’ll hope for a Giants loss.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I always root for dysentery.

Mother Puncher
fleshwound_NPG

and then you could get 5 bees for a quarter