It’s 4 O’clock-Do You Know Where Your Open Thread Is? Thread

Min @ Oak: As Cyrus once said in The Warriors, “Can you Diggs it?” When Stefon is not at some esoteric club he’s tearing it up on the field. QB Teddy and his 6 TD/6 Int’s is quite happy to have found someone that he has a rapport with. That ought to improve those ugly stats quite a bit. The Raiders have averaged 35.5 points in their last three while the Vikes D have been holding their opponents to an average of 17 all season long. This shall be an interesting game of strength against strength. Both of these teams are just beginning to understand just how good they actually are. Oakland has the poorer record because, quite understandably given their history, it took a little bit longer.

NE @ NYG: The Giants can’t stop the short passing game.* Brady excels at the short passing game and is on fire right now. Let’s watch and see how this plays out.

*or the medium or the long passing game

KC @ Den: This is another game that looked great at the beginning of the season. RB Davis, once the handcuff to JC, is on the inactive list. Oh how the not-mighty have fallen! You may ask yourself, “how are they going to replace 2.6 ypc?”. One of the other voices in your head would answer “Spencer Ware” sometime after it told you to kill the neighbour’s dog. Peyton is starting to turn things around, improving his completion %, yards per catch and QBR these last few weeks. Perhaps he’s getting some feeling back in his hands? That said, he’s got a foot thingy and a rib ailment that he’s dealing with. That sound you heard was Justin Houston and Tamba Hali and Andy Reid licking their chops. With respect to Houston and Hali I was speaking metaphorically.

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JustStopDude

BRADY FUMBLE!!!

Old School Zero

Reading through these comments, I keep laughing my face off. Thank you all for being you all and being funny as hell. It’s much needed.

Moonbatting Average

Wait a minute. Kubiak benched Manning!?! That’s it, I’m never leaving the TV to do chores ever again

King Hippo

5 completions, 4 INTs. Pretty hard to let that slide.

Elway going to drive the streets of Denver searching for “voluntarily body part donors” in order to repair NeckAIDS

JustStopDude

Guys sorry…the Payton shitshow is all on me. I forgot to update the firmware in his neck computer.

Old School Zero

Wait, this is happening IN DENVER?

Oh, shit, sorry Hippo. I should’ve kept that on the inside.

Bortleback

How long until they start chanting for Tebow?

King Hippo

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now THAT is a bridge too far.

Gratliff

But then who will Philly sign? Is McNabb still available? He couldn’t possibly be worse than Sanchez.

Smithchez

I kept wondering just what kind of offensive formation the Broncos were in that allowed so much pre-snap movement. Then Kansas City snapped the ball. I may have had a little much to drink.

Covalent Blonde

Am I that drunk to see Osweiler?

Old School Zero

He is a symptom of the DTs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Still not as drunk as the Denver front office that couldn’t tell Peyton was done.

John Difool

“As I follow Tom Coughlin’s career”. Starting with the Old Testament.

Sill Bimmons

He’s the central figure in 2 Kings.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

I knew Methuselah when he was a young whippersnapper. Also garden of eden, terrible food.

Sill Bimmons

I heard that the produce tastes really good but it isn’t worth what happens the next day.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll trade you Jimmy Clausen for Brock or Peyton. It’s a good deal.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

And with that, the sun sets on the Peyton empire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygbne_koLgM

Smithchez

Setting the all time NFL passing yards record AND getting benched for Brock Osweiler in the same game? You bet your ass PK is gonna center his column around this.

blkeskimo1785

I wish the BQBL was still a thing.

JustStopDude

REALLY going all in with the Paris Terrorist Attack jokes huh Sill?

Sill Bimmons

I apparently just can’t help myself.

King Hippo

HA, Brock is shit too. KILL ME NOW

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

How do you want it done?

Old School Zero

We can all root for the fantastic 8-1 Carolina Panthers

blaxabbath

Guess Brock’s near-pick is better than manning’s sure thing.

Mother Puncher

Peyton finds a new hobby during retirement.

Old School Zero

BROOOOOOOOOOCK

blkeskimo1785

Is it ironic that the Donks are shitting the bed even harder since they picked up VD?

Bortleback

WHAT IF MIKE SINGLETARY WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG?!

Old School Zero

“Can’t WIN with ’em!”

Bortleback

I eagerly await the stories (but not any associated pictures) about Kubiak mooning the team in the locker room

Sill Bimmons

It’s hard to concentrate when you’re pissing fire.

blaxabbath

Supergirl is bad, right?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

It’s a CBS drama, so you would be safe to assume it is.

Bortleback

I’m sure there are websites where you can watch porn versions of it where she’s a bad girl……

John Difool

Flags on Patriots, Dogs sleeping with cats…..MASS HYSTERIA

Sill Bimmons

Osweiler…OSWEILER

King Hippo

PeyPey isn’t healthy enough to play. He has NOTHING today.

King Hippo

At least I can flip to ESPNU and watch my terrible basketball team instead of my terrible footbaw team.

fleshwound_NPG

RIP PeyPey

Old School Zero

DONE

blackroseMD1

5 completions, 4 INTs? Wow…

Romonobyl

Time to unplug the spine.

blaxabbath

The GF and I are thinking of buying a TV for xmas as our ‘gift’. She suggests like a 60″ samsung. I know nothing about TVs but the size does seem appropriate. Any info anyone has to share on the search would be considered.

King Hippo

Samsung is a good TV. That’s what I’ve been buying of late. Best quality/value combo.

entropy

Samsung makes the best TV’s on the market. No joke.

Old School Zero

60″ is good; I think that’s what I have. I bought a very dumb TV–no big apps or internet stuff, pretty much just a good TV with some HDMI inputs, since I use other devices for streaming and hook up to my stereo for sound. I think I got more good picture for my money that way. So if that’s similar to how you watch, I’d recommend looking for as dumb of a TV (with as many HDMI inputs) as possible.

CNET is where I did a lot of my research.

blaxabbath

Yeah we don’t even really watch much tv. Don’t have cable, just do netflix, hulu, etc. It’s more just a “Hey, we need to have a nice tv for the living room so throw in the faces of all our friends.”

Good point on the HDMI inputs. Our current one has inadequate feeds (and they are a bitch to access).

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

We are a Sony family but my sister really wanted a 60″ TV when I went to visit. I stood on one foot partially out the window of her Honda Fit to get that thing home. Just amazing TV though so it was worth it. (I am 6’2″, my sister claims 5’2″ but is really 5’1″ at most. She could fit in her seat)

Gratliff

If you have anything that has most streaming apps, try to find a regular TV at all cost. Smart TVs are just a neat way of saying “40% more for shit you don’t need.”

Romonobyl

Side USB and HDMI inputs are a must. Take into account the size of the room, sitting too close to a big TV is like the front row of a theater…not pleasant.

Sill Bimmons

You know that moment when you’ve just made a really horribly inappropriate joke without realizing it?

comment image

blaxabbath

There are no inappropriate jokes. Just inappropriate audiences.

And you can’t concern yourself with what others think. Dance like no one is watching.

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, see that wasn’t my own drummer.

It didn’t even occur to me that it was anything other than a funny image I have posted many times.

No shock humor was intended whatsoever.

Gratliff

It worked out nicely for Gilbert Gottfried on more than a few occasions. How dirty can you make your Aristocrats joke?

Sill Bimmons

IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE A PARIS JOKE

Gratliff

And next week, when it’s fair game, you can repost the same image with “Why Paris when Montreal is right there?” as the caption.

blaxabbath

Shit – when they were still holding hostages I went with, “This is why the only metal shows I attend are Children of Bodom.”

But you know what? No one can claim they made a COB joke about Paris before me.

Sill Bimmons

Not a Paris joke.

Bortleback

I saw it and laughed. Am I a bad person?

Sill Bimmons

I don’t know, but I want intending you to laugh the way you did.

Old School Zero

This is why we forgive and forget. And then keep making jokes.

Sill Bimmons

IT WASNT A PARIS JOKE IT WAS JUST A BRIGHT SHINY OBJECT THAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION DURING A GIS

Old School Zero

For your penance, you must now post sexy food pictures. Especially Korean BBQ and Banh Mi.

JustStopDude

Hey most people would not have the balls to do a Paris Attack joke this soon!

Horatio Cornblower

That Medal of Honor winner has had 33 surgeries to address the wounds he sustained tackling the suicide bomber.

Which is roughly the same number of deferments Cheney got to avoid going to Vietnam.

blaxabbath

See, this is bullshit. One deferment should be adequate and last a lifetime. But I guess that’s the broken bureaucracy for ya.

Horatio Cornblower

I think he got 7. Sorry, I don’t mean to start a PoFlaWa; I just really loathe Dick Cheney.

Sill Bimmons

Did you see him come out to speak with The Imperial March as his entry music?

blaxabbath

Just started studying for my PE exam. Thought getting at it during NFL games would be a mistake. However, it’s surprisingly easy to not be distracted by the DEN/KC game on tv.

Sill Bimmons

You know that the Presidential Fitness Award is for schoolchildren, right?

blaxabbath

Gonna Happy Gilmore that 2nd Grader 1-mile run.

fleshwound_NPG

FG gods feasting on KC’s offerings (before Reid gets a hold of them)

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sorry, but if you get amped up for anything by listening to the Zack Brown then you deserve the shitty season your imaginary team is having.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I didn’t know Zach Brown was professional linebacker AND musician.

entropy

Yes. YES YOU DO

blaxabbath

Quiet around here…

ARE YOU TERDS IN LA TALKING ABOUT ME OR SOMETHING?!

Old School Zero

Probably talking about all of us, and imagining what we look like without pants on.

Horatio Cornblower

I look like a Ken doll.

Covalent Blonde

Talking about all of you? Most fucking definitely. And all but Mr. Commander and Lady Commander *fuck SunriseSunrise, too, managed tio appear without pants on.

entropy

Sorry. I’m East Coast Bar-ing it up, and therefore kinda quiet.

Sill Bimmons

I was sleeping earlier because of a weekend spent around children.

Horatio Cornblower

Instead of John Mara might I submit Kate Mara, shown here misunderstanding the shotgun formation:

http://cdn1-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/2015/07/Shooter.jpg

entropy

SHE MISUNDERSTANDS NOTHING

Horatio Cornblower

Clearly you didn’t see that movie.

entropy

Oh, I did, and I blame the screenwriter.

Bortleback

Based entirely off that screenshot I presume that this would be a good movie to watch muted

blaxabbath

Good “BOOOOOOO” by whoever is seated by the mic in DEN.

Sill Bimmons
Old School Zero

Uh…

Horatio Cornblower

I’m going to regret this but…what’s an ak?

Old School Zero

AK-47.

Kind of like the guns used in Paris.

Sill Bimmons

OH FUCKING SHIT IM SO SORRY I DIDNT EVEN THINK

Old School Zero

No big. Want me to edit your post and put up a different image?

Sill Bimmons

YES

Old School Zero

There we go. And no worries; honest mistake. Acceptable replacement?

Sill Bimmons

Absolutely.

Thank you so much.

Old School Zero

No problem. I 100% figured it was unintentional. Much love.

Horatio Cornblower

I was just going to offer the same thing.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh dear Christ. So to speak.

Shogun Marcus

Ak-47.

entropy

Kalashnikov 47, also known as an AK-47

Sill Bimmons
Mother Puncher

Not sure if you’re too soon or too late.

comment image

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

This will never be unfunny.

Covalent Blonde

Dearest Hippo: On behalf of the DFO outing, we all are wishing you the best. Please, no suicide.

I call dibs on his expensive things

King Hippo

You are gonna be very disappoint. Single parents of 3 teenagers cannot have nice things.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Can I sell your organs to Vietnamese black marketers then?

King Hippo

Sure, why not! I’m a good capitalist and pro-recycling. No need to be a hypocrite about it.

King Hippo

I has enough pills to stay comfortably numb despite PeyPey’s best efforts to call forth the voices in my head. Thank fuck.

Covalent Blonde

Stay high as a kitten, we all share our sympathy. As Zymm points out, we wish you an excellent euphemism for oxcycodone since we are in the OC and Yeah Right says, “Stay Sedated.”

Horatio Cornblower

The thing I hate about this Giants game is that they’re doing just well enough to get my hopes up for a Pats loss, but not well enough for the Pats not to get their shit together and crush those hopes in the 4th quarter.

Covalent Blonde

Much sympaty

fleshwound_NPG
Sill Bimmons

whoa donks

King Hippo

It was a good idea. Can’t play safe 0-19.

Sill Bimmons

Don’t disagree.

But the execution…should be executed:

comment image

King Hippo

True dat.

Old School Zero

Dear Sunday Ticket and your Shockwave Player crashes on all my browsers: get bent.

laserguru

Are you still alive King Hippo?

Greetings from the SoCal gathering.
We’re drinking excessively.

King Hippo

Greetings back! Yeah, glum resignation has set in.

Horatio Cornblower

Look on the bright side: This might get Otto to get his brain out of that jar and say hello.

Old School Zero

been waiting all day…?

entropy

NO.

blaxabbath

Man – this is the longest day ever just waiting around for SNF.

blaxabbath

You know what…that’s a good idea!

John Difool
Spanky Datass

Hope your squad makes “The Twelves” very sad and quiet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

That could not have ended well.

Spanky Datass

I bet she spilled her beverage and had to go to Jackies Packie, route thirty foah for more.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

yo

John Difool

Soup?

Spanky Datass

sup

Sill Bimmons

yo

anything happen today

Romonobyl

Romobyl sans Romo.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Peyton Manning: comment image

Redshirt

Titans-Jaguars: Week 11 can only get better.

Romonobyl

This should have been the pre-game flyover.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_locp4bAo201qm5vjpo1_r4_400.gif

Gratliff

Let’s save that sort of rhetoric for neutral humanitarian hospitals!