Det @ GB: Detroit hasn’t won a game in Cheese Country since 1991-that’s 23 straight times the Lions have hitch-hiked back home with a sour look on their faces. Megatron is questionable and DB Mathis is gone for the year which is strange. He had concussion symptoms then he didn’t then he did again and now he’s been thrown onto the IR. There’s more to this story of The Tell-Tale Brain. Starks gets the start and with the Lions allowing 5 yards per rush so far this year look for him to have a good ‘un. For the betting folk, the Packers are 17-5-1 versus the spread against the Lions when at home.
Dal @ TB: Six straight losses and counting-How ‘Bout Them Cowboys? Dez went off two separate times in the locker room this week because, according to Dallas apologists, he’s “a super passionate leader-type fella and totally not a thin-skinned hothead that can’t stand criticism”. At least this team has stability at the QB spot (nope), the “star” spot (nope, nope) and the ownership spot (hell naw!). Winston has now gone 4 games without an intercept while the Boys QB’s have thrown 5 in total during the same stretch. Tampa has re-jiggered their D and it has improved. How are the Bucs not favoured in this game?
Car @ Ten: The Panthers are trying to put together their very first nine-game win streak. Cam’s numbers aren’t that great-53.7 completion %, 11 TO’s and a not-sparkling 50 QBR. I blame Ginn. Despite these stats I think they’ll win against a Titans team that brings a certain something to this game. That something is…………a coaching change? I think that’s all they got.
Chi @ StL: The spread here is 7 but I think it’ll be closer. Cutler has a 108 passer rating on third downs and the Rams have 10 sacks on passing third downs. Jeffrey and Forte are listed as questionable. Looks as though Chip Kelly and everyone else except Jeff Fisher were right about QB Foles. In this pass-friendly league this wunderbear has gone over 200 yards once. ONCE! That’s not 300. That’s 200. How many times has he thrown for 2 or more scores? ONCE! And now he has to do without the calm, steady presence of Steadman Bailey. [sarcasm detector goes off] Poor guy.
NO @ Was: Cousins gets to play in the Saints secondary. For QB’s it’s a relatively contact-free Wonderland where you can do…pretty much anything your silly little heart desires with no consequences whatsoever. On O the Saints have been so impressed with the play of RB Spiller that they gave him 2 carries last week and signed Tim Hightower off the scrap heap this week. The Slurs led the league in rushing thru weeks 1-4 and have failed to reach 60 yards since. That’s four straight games of abject failure. The last team to do this in five straight was-you guessed it-the 1940 Eagles.
Mia @ Phi: This is a scorching matchup featuring the last and second-last possessors of the league’s worst QBR’s. After running for 40 yards in his pro debut, look for Fins RB Ajayi to get worked into the rush game a wee bit more. For Philly it all comes down to the question posed by Bleeding Green Nation bloggers Dave Mangel and Patrick Wall-“Will the Eagles can make next week’s three of them in a row?” I don’t but doubt they can will. Never has a fan base been so happy to eke out a win in overtime game against a 2-5 team.
Cle @ Pit: Johnny is expected to get the start today. Want to know how to maintain a sh*t franchise? Take a page out of the Browns playbook. Once you’ve assembled a dearth of talent, have the coach not play the GM’s guys. Reportedly Pettine was not happy with the drafting of Manziel and loathes playing/supporting him. In turn he is not giving RB Johnson, who is a Farmer “guy” a fair opportunity. Well done, sucky organization! “Sources” have said that Ben will be the backup to Jones today. Whoo boy, WR Brown is getting matched up against CB Desir who has no Int’s and all of 5 passes defensed this season.
Jax @ Bal: The 2-6 Jags feel that their entire season rides on this game. This seems ludicrous on the surface but you don’t swim in the vile muck that is the AFC South, do you? If any lousy team could pull off a completely impossible 8 game win streak it would have to be Jacksonville though, wouldn’t it? How’d you like to be WR Chris Givens of the Ravens? He was an afterthought on the Rams roster a few weeks ago and now he’s the go-to guy in what could be called the Baltimore passing game. Lucky guy.
Alright I just work up, and how did Sanchez show up?
http://media.giphy.com/media/Lf5ijIR8zjzri/giphy.gif
*woke
Still waking up.
LOLWinston!
How the hell do you even do that?
This is the same man who gave us this treasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th52zJgKMQE
Dallas = TP
But of course there’s a flag
Um…did ISIS just attack the LA Fox studio?!? Even Joe Buck acknowledge something was going on…
Holy shitballs, just abort this Tampa-Dallas game already.
Fourth quarter abortions should be legal.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/1dcfd6e8f56ca8bdf6c7814056e37abc/tumblr_nudk20fXzT1rj28rmo1_1280.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/aac23a8c2bd8927a88549ccf61f8b484/tumblr_nv3kmtfbtv1ro8ysbo1_500.gif
Jameis = poop
Wow, Winston really?!?!
I can’t wait until Sean Lee gets back so Dallas can have one quarter of good defense before he goes on IR again.
He gets concussions eating cupcakes.
Supergirl: Still can’t act
Who needs acting ability when you’re flying around wearing a short skirt
But she’s purty
I am now talking to an old truck driver from Beaver County PA and his stories are AWESOME.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/99c1674774fe8961962d150f79eef456/tumblr_nu5lyptGEa1rojphdo1_1280.jpg
Antonio Brown doing the thing
https://vine.co/v/iBTK1BTQalA
Antonio Brown is still good at football.
Roethlisberger: http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx35/aditisaraswati79/e89ffaa37f297b56c7d1df9356ef2c63_zpsjpu9spc7.gif
Needs less consent to be truly representative of Ben
Incoming bucs TD
Dez Bryant couldn’t catch AIDS in Somalia today.
The CasselVANIA Cowboys really are goddamned hilarious. A national treasure, truly.
I wish Washington could play New Orleans every week.
I also like that
Jeff Fisher and Gregggggg Williams do deserve each other
Stupid Jaguras
Stupid SEXY Jaguars.
lulz Jeff Fisher
: Waisting pass rushers’ talents since 1999
The story of the woman who found and shot Roger Goodell.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/c6cfb0d17acf2c1e1b8b41d649ece68e/tumblr_nu2ammwQbR1rlrt3ho1_1280.jpg
Not to be confused with Bitch Hunter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLa_beHZfws
Or “Bitch Killer”
https://youtu.be/GZQWQ64-GTg
WHOA! Which one was first?
Oh, no, the one about Roger’s death is much better.
Karma is kicking Dez square in his ass.
My fantasy team’s ass too, since Butterfingers is one of my starting WRs.
re: Scrotchnaut’s intro: If Jax goes on a streak and beat NE in the playoffs, I will buy a color rush ::Searches Google:: ALLEN ROBINSON jersey.
Blake Bortles Beats Bostonian Ballclub, Breaks Brains
somethingsomethingrRondaRousysomethingsomethingkiddiepoolfullofpuddingsomethingsomething…
OK Dallas…DO SOMETHING!
http://i39.tinypic.com/2195nv8.gif
http://i.imgur.com/f5KL3Wr.gif
I suddenly want to introduce myself to her (but give a fake name – she looks kinda crazy)
St. Louis Steamers.
Hehehe… poop.
WhodahellisBarnidgedown!!!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/fb64164097978f52658b35cf5d10dc86/tumblr_mr4w57Qz2V1qf5do9o1_500.gif
Barnidge, Gary (name): A Tight End for the Cleveland Browns who will put up great fantasy numbers this season and then move on to another team where he will immediately become worthless.
See: Cameron, Jordan
Stupid Harfception.
Jaguras!!!
Something something Jameis…something something crablegs…something something Cowboys stealing the game.
Shut up, I’m hungover.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/6b6fa127611955224ab6aa87b87d5460/tumblr_n851baujnK1qf5do9o1_500.gif
I didn’t know the Soggy Bottom Boys were Steeler fans.
Nice pick!!!
Going through my luggage, I got the little note that the TSA inspected my shit.
I also got now a broken mouse because the shitheads closed my suitcase with the USB hanging out of it.
I seriously hate TSA. I try not to…I mean I realize that we need to have security…but its so fucking frustrating to deal with these people on a weekly basis. I can’t tell you the number of times these folks don’t recognize a fucking TWIC ID.
You know what’s better security than some moron poking through your bag? Not giving arms to people who will kill you.
It’s kind of a “the run opens up play action” situation.
That’s crazy talk – next you’ll be saying that universal healthcare for all is a good thing, and that corporations aren’t people
Jones tried as hard as possible not to get a first down there but the Saints insisted on it.
DAL/TB so far makes wonder why I miss this during the summer.
JFFCeption
I’ve been asleep for an hour. How is CAR-TEN a one-score game?
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://filmfanatic.org/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Producers-Mostel.png&imgrefurl=http://filmfanatic.org/reviews/?p%3D28134&h=900&w=1600&tbnid=7VqCn4FHDxLgkM:&docid=dJVFyE3WlafoLM&hl=en&ei=yOxIVtCrMMXterLAopgI&tbm=isch&client=safari&ved=0CCwQMygIMAhqFQoTCNCvq_ijk8kCFcW2HgodMqAIgw
Saints give zero fucks on offense or defense
Hey all. I’ve been lying here watching Rams for…man, since the first half. It’s 62 out today though so I’m freezing and unable to do anything.
One thing I wish the NFL would adopt from the college game is regional broadcast teams. For example, the Pac-12 Network has just a handful of broadcast teams who are fairly knowledgeable about every team. Then, when they play a non-conference game, the assigned crew has to go learn about the opponents. I think this provides a better product than the network teams being responsible for following every NFL team. It becomes so clear during these NFL broadcasts that the announcers know the headline stories and star players — and then pretty much just wing it with generalities and horseshit for the rest of the game.
It’s a modest proposal, I know, but one nonetheless.
Do you also get enraged, when its like 2am on the east coast, and the crew they have covering the Hawaii-Arizona game is light-years better than the best NFL crew?
Cause I sure as fuck do….and I think the NFL should have to pay for my drywall…
Browns, you can’t do anything right!!!
http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/3/1/8/77031318/cuts/charliebrowncomebackgif_fmm23etn_wmf97j7s.gif
Of all the Cleveland Browns in the world, they’re the Cleveland Browniest.
Browns have a good strategy: if the refs keep throwing flags, eventually they’ll run out of them.
I’ll bet that Packers sweater gave Ditka a wicked bad psychosomatic rash.
Peyton Manning’s player’s choice pizza: Crispy silicon chips with a WD-40 sauce.
And his electrolyte doesn’t come from Gatorade.
wow, Infinite Factory
“Defense, Motherfuckers, can you play it?!”
Saints: “Um, no”
Ay. ¿Por QUEEEÉEEEE?
Shit challenge to try to ice the kicker. It failed, but godammit, TEN is doing anything to win. I’m dru–erm, hapPy.