![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Hou @ Cin: Coach O’Brien of the Texans admitted to his team that benching Hoyer after the first game of the season was a mistake. If only more “leaders of men” were so forthcoming. At 3-5 Houston (who?) is a half-game out of first and one game removed from last in the AFC Harrison Bergeron Division. One guy that ain’t care about any of this “This team sucks!” or “Who’s the QB this week?” business is WR Hopkins and his 870 yards and 6 TD’s. What I want to know is-where is his sideline tantrum? Where is the mid-week DUI? When does he bang a porn star and prove it on Instagram? I’m not sure if I can regard the fella as a superstar until he steps up to the plate and starts acting like one. Kudos to all you fantasy bums that grabbed TE Eifert off the waiver wire. Aren’t you the smartest bunny rabbits in the briar patch! The Bengals are 8-0 for the first time ever and 9 straight looks like a slam dunk. And yet this game has all the sex appeal of the corpse of Bea Arthur performing a ‘naughty’ burlesque number. Go figure-because the NFL hasn’t bothered to.
Your “At Least It’s Not Titans/Jags On Thursday” Monday Night Thread
Wait. Hold on. HOUSTON IS IN FIRST PLACE NOW?
Well. Time to listen to fair weather fans demand Lewis be fired.
Again, unless he asks for a raise, he’s Mike Brown’s man for life.
Yeah that review isn’t saving shit for Cincy. So unless the Texans decide to throw the ball instead of taking a knee, I’m going to bed. Night, all.
Hey, they just MIGHT.
Put in Osweiler!!!
Oh wait I seem to have become unstuck in time
Welp.
Wow.
This has been a most unusual weekend:
http://connectedgeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Strange-Things.gif
Oh Bengals!
So catch and fumble or incomplete on 4th down. Doesnt really matter does it?
Determines level of DALTONOBYL
Great, review to decide the game. :fart noise:
Hurray! We suck again!
Feel free to lose all eight games left!
Ya know its wrong but I thought the same thing.
This game has become a race, which will have the life drained from it first, my phone, or the Bengals season?
NOTWATTSACK
Marvin Lewis feels good about getting into field goal range here.
I just realized that Dalton has a soul patch. Insert joke here.
That’s unpossible!
Texans gon’ Texan
They really are.
Is there a 4 point conversion in the new rules?
WTF with that New Year’s Eve bowl commercial?
BTW, that’s a UCLA threesome right there.
Is Watt still bespoiling Katy Perry? Or has she thankfully developed better taste and/or judgment?
I’m guessing that’s a no on both counts.
come on God
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/9/94/Hallelujah!.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20071015155745
Eifert caught a pass!!!
“The Bengals have to go 48 yards, but they’ve been struggling to move the ball 48 yards all night.”
Whose side are you on Bengals Radio Team?!
This game is not unlike the difference between being and not being.
Schrodinger’s MNF?
Reality
Rocky 6 is a thing isnt it?
This’ll be Rocky VII
You’re assuming I acknowledge the existence of Rocky V
Uh, Mike, it looks like Watt hurt his “other axe,” if you know what I mean
You sound like my mother. I’ll get married when I’m ready.
…I dont think his back is sore Gruden….
So these two bring out the best, no worst, no..best in each other. No, worst. Definitely worst.
Watt needs a rest in the fourth quarter?! SELFISH
NO PLAYS OFF!
When in doubt, throw it to AJ Green.
It’s highly unlikely the bengals will score two safetys real quick, so probably don’t have to worry about overtime. I’m pretty sure the double safety is more likely than a bengals td and texans fg.
You’re the statistician round these parts, so I’ll trust yer math.
We’ve secretly replaced Tyler Eifert with Jermaine Gresham. Let’s see if Bengals fan notice.
I think he’s been secretly replaced by JPP
Are we drinking for Eifert drops yet?
As an Eifert owner, you bet your ass I am.
How many Texans want to blow this game to get their head coach fired?
All of them.
Trainer: How many fingers am I holding up?
Hoyer: Three.
Trainer: And what are your team’s colors?
Hoyer: Red, white, and blue.
Trainer: Great, just one more question. Who’s the president?
Hoyer: [chuckles] Well, obviously I am.
Trainer: That’s… what?
Hoyer: [turns to camera] This is Hoyer Country.
If the Bengals win this, they deserve the win.
If the Bengals lose this, they deserve the loss.
Either way, they deserve to lose this game.
When you make AJ Hawk relevant, you’re a sorry-ass QB.
I’m legitmately starting to lose chunks of time watching this game. Better start drinking, otherwise it’ll be worrying
I think you’ve discovered time travel. This game is the portal.
Empty backfield up 4? Do the Texans know they’re winning?
“Win-ning?” Bill O’brien
So not just in cheap Mexican restaurants.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/e21ecb111208971d374375c6195a6376/tumblr_nqjs9cdk4H1qihmxwo1_1280.jpg
If Johnathan Joseph is so smart, how come he lives in igloos?
The Texans did another good??
Stop trying to distract..oh..thank you
“Vince Wilfork runs him down.”
Oh god, is he dead?
The local ad they just ran was for one of those community cable TV shows. The guy does a program on ‘Biblical Stones’ and he looks exactly like you’d expect a guy who does a show on Biblical stones to look.
Molest-y, taxidermy-y, or molest-kill-and-stuff-the-victim-y?
Little from column A, little from column B.
Time for Dalton to win the game. (Oh, God. Why?!)
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