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Hou @ Cin: Coach O’Brien of the Texans admitted to his team that benching Hoyer after the first game of the season was a mistake. If only more “leaders of men” were so forthcoming. At 3-5 Houston (who?) is a half-game out of first and one game removed from last in the AFC Harrison Bergeron Division. One guy that ain’t care about any of this “This team sucks!” or “Who’s the QB this week?” business is WR Hopkins and his 870 yards and 6 TD’s. What I want to know is-where is his sideline tantrum? Where is the mid-week DUI? When does he bang a porn star and prove it on Instagram? I’m not sure if I can regard the fella as a superstar until he steps up to the plate and starts acting like one. Kudos to all you fantasy bums that grabbed TE Eifert off the waiver wire. Aren’t you the smartest bunny rabbits in the briar patch! The Bengals are 8-0 for the first time ever and 9 straight looks like a slam dunk. And yet this game has all the sex appeal of the corpse of Bea Arthur performing a ‘naughty’ burlesque number. Go figure-because the NFL hasn’t bothered to.
Your “At Least It’s Not Titans/Jags On Thursday” Monday Night Thread
The Bengals offense is going gentle into that good night
Coincidentally, the P*ts offense is going Gentile into that good night…
This Houston “playcalling” is going to let Cincy win. Mark my words.
Why they are throwing right now is beyond me. They should be bleeding clock like (insert awkward menstruation simile).
*brief side step* Fargo series is insane. I’m going to Fargo. Its gotta be awesome
Less than one month until my trip to Wichita!
I can’t wait to binge it over Thanksgiving.
Bengals Radio Commentator: “Can the Bengals drive 96-yards, when they’ve been unable to do anything in the 2nd half?”
Way to get the fans excited.
Anyone here know how the “ya man a bird” meme works? I don’t get it at all.
I was really hoping Yates would have to leave so we could see Shane Lechler play quarterback. Huge for ratings.
I’m giving this game 5 more minutes and then I’m going to bed.
Considering you’re on the East Coast, you’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty already!
So…is Hoyer just sitting alone in the locker room, staring at a wall?
That’s how you pass the NFL concussion protocol.
Bengals Defense should be getting both their gamechecks and the Offense’s checks too.
If’n we are doing poetry…
Geeze…I am so rude. I just realize that I never gave you folks the link to the spider porn…my bad…
So much for a good guy with a gun.
I’ve never been more afraid to click on anything.
thatr description does you no favors
I mean yes, they look like poop. But isn’t it kinda douchey to boo your 8-0 team? No matter how off a night they’re having? Doesn’t 8-0 buy you THAT?
During the pre game, ESPN compared the Bengals’ coaching stability with the Pats, and said 13 years of Marvin Lewis explains why they’re 8-0.
Bengals’ fans have earned the right to boo.
THIS!!!!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yeah, that’s horseshit. They’ve got to at least wait for Dalton to lose this game and throw four picks in the next one.
“Are they chanting ‘Jeff Blaaaaaake?’”
“No, they’re booing.”
“Booooooooooooooooooomer! Booooooooooooooooooomer!”
To me, he’s a Jet all the way.
The officials couldn’t tell if someone caught a goddamn cold
Why aren’t we talking on OSZs Black Dog page.
I can’t believe there isn’t a Monday night FB Game in November.
As someone who likes footballl, I know there is no team in Houston. As a baseball fan fan I don’t believe anyone exists in the town north of Kentucky.
Eh, who wants the pressure of being undefeated?
And this is over!
As the sun drowns slowly
And night’s slow, purple ink stains the sky
Anticipation for the spectacle of modern gladiators grows like wildfire
Lo, the flagons are filled with drink so delectable
The young, ensconced in blankets of warmth, sigh like the gentlest zephyr
All is calm, and the flickering light of the screen warms my soul
Oh boy, does this game fucking blow
Can these assholes stop throwing the ball and just run it?
/don’t have FF considerations, just want it to be over
I want some Schaubian pick sixes
This is an early afternoon game, Bengals. Just a normal, regular 1:00 PM kickoff game.
Against Cleveland.
Which is really not that far off.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
“If my ear were a twat I would fuck it!”
To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple,
“Your mother’s behaviour
Gave pain to Our Saviour,
And that’s why He made you a cripple.”
In Yeats’s version he commits ear seppuku.
In T. J. Yates’ version, his dick can’t reach… anything.
I have had a headache for the last thirty hours…and this game is by far the worst thing about that time period.
Remorse for Intemperate Commenting, er, Speech:
I RANTED to the knave and fool,
But outgrew that school,
Would transform the part,
Fit audience found, but cannot rule
My fanatic heart.
I sought my betters: though in each
Fine manners, liberal speech,
Turn hatred into sport,
Nothing said or done can reach
My fanatic heart,
Out of Ireland have we come.
Great hatred, little room,
Maimed us at the start.
I carry from my mother’s womb
A fanatic heart.
WINE comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
Not in the eye, Papa Smurf!
/Attell’d
ATTELL?!?! Why were you late?
Alright…now I am really getting into the dark internet stuff about spiders…
Apparently there is a fetish involving spiders and S&M called “widowing”…here is a clip of it…
I know people always say it and it is overused; but this is indeed THE WEIRDEST BONER.
I think I would have been totally fine going my whole life without learning that.
“Holy shit; I’m being used badly.”
-Spider
I may be strange, but FUCK ME, I’m not THAT goddamned strange
If you squint you can see Little Miss Muffet tied up in the background.
Isn’t that GIF just from an article about harvesting spider silk?
maybe….
I’d be more than happy if every fucker into that sort of thing dropped dead right now.
9 billion people on the planet; the gene pool won’t miss them.
DoI drink because I fit in with OSZ’s article earlier today? Am I depressed or, did I want to enjoy this game in a slightly unconciuos condiion
Everything is siced.
?w=720&h=406
Mr. Moose! Good to see you!
Just move the chains, Bengals. Don’t go crazy.
When QBs get cut I assume they get a tetanus booster like anyone should
JPP should get the booster, not the QB’S.
QBs should be left alone when they stabbed by my greasy knife.
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping
slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket
sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.
Mike, I’m not sure Yates saved this game as much as Hopkins did.
Cocaïne saved this game
ah, sweet cocaine. is there nothing you can’t do?
Holy shit.
♪ Hello, Darkness, my old friend ♪
Houston, we have competence.
I feel bad that Deandre Hopkins is stuck on this texas team
It’s like “fuck it, 4th quarter, guess I have to do goddamned EVERYTHING for this shit team” and then he does
Actual competence? !?
haha
HOLY SHIT
The play of this Yates is more depressing than the poems of the other Yates
Frank Reynolds was right, it’s all about using the right shade of shoe polish imo
Reasons for Ramada #1 – You live at home. She lives at home. The Ramada is next door to the club.
The best thing we can say about this game is that it is going by pretty fast. Only two hours in and we’re at the fourth quarter!
ITS ONLY BEEN TWO HOURS?!
That should go on next year’s scary Texans stories.
You know that feeling you get when you realize that you are about to diarrhea.
Bengals Fans are feeling that feeling right now…and not for Skyline Chili reasons.
Well shit
Yates’ first pass….
That was a quality NFL pass!
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