Your Titans/Jags Thursday Night Open Thread

A far less cynical commenter than I pointed out to me that this game isn’t exactly “eye poison”. Let’s take a look at this half-full game with some rose-coloured glasses, shall we?

Ten @ Jax: The Jags are 2-2 at home and with a win will tie the Luck-less Colts for first place in the AFC South. Bortles is tied for the league lead in game-winning drives. All three victories were the result of him marching his team down the field in the waning minutes for the last score. Not too shabby. Fantasy-wise the Jags feature the highest-scoring WR duo. Robinson made a bit of a splash last year but the real revelation is Hurns. He was the guy I made fun of in a snarky post at the beginning of the season. Well, he’s scored a TD in 7 straight, averages 17 yards a catch and caused me to place my tail between my legs when I picked him up off the waiver wire a few weeks ago. QB Mariota (do we have a nickname for this guy yet-I think he’ll be around for a dozen years or so) has thrown for 4 TD’s and no intercepts twice. He’s in a bad, interim-coach situation and hasn’t completely shit the bed which bodes well for his future but not his early development.

 

 

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Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH DEMANDS MOAR

King Hippo

FUCK YOU ref, I needed those 13 fantasy points. Gimme the shit call.

Sharkbait

HOW THE–
*looks at who is playing*

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BOYS??

John Difool

SNL needs to do a skit with Da Burrs fans about Ditka wearing Packers gear, Pronto.

Redshirt

F-M-K: Lily, Flo, Norm MacDonald’s Colonel Sanders. Go!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

F all of the above

Sill Bimmons

F Flo M Lily K NMDCS

Horatio Cornblower

Sill is correct. Must be the medical background.

King Hippo

I feel like I should find something to experimentally snort.

Sill Bimmons

I hear carpet cleaner does stuff.

Doktor Zymm

I’m getting a pretty good buzz/headache from the fumes coming off this sheepskin I ordered from China

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Delay of Game should be a double penalty for this game, because prolonging this thing is torture.

King Hippo

C’mon fantasy points safety!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I actually thought we might have an offensive showdown tonight.”

“I did too.”

These two really need to ditch the suits and wear matching “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[arrow points at crotch]

Doktor Zymm

You don’t find this showdown offensive?

King Hippo

Even MOAR exciting than our wildest dreemz, amirite??

Sill Bimmons

BEEN WAITIN’ SINCE EIGHT FOR THURSDAY NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. This game is literally bad enough that my TV went on strike and spontaneously turned itself off.

I am completely serious. That actually happened.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blackroseMD1

I’m only watching for Delanie Walker fantasy points.

I’m seriously considering a nap instead.

John Difool

So you’re saying your t.v. staged an intervention?

nomonkeyfun

Lucky you.

...

That’s nothing. My TV kept insisting it was James Dungy until I hung it on the wall.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My TV told me to kill the foil people.

[orders burrito to go]

Sill Bimmons

Jesus I’ve been to louder funerals.

Sill Bimmons

CRSB SCRS 4 — 2 C STLLRS W

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Just when you thought the Jags couldn’t find a QB worse than Gabbert.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Found the song I was actually looking for that started this whole codeine song odyssey

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

Blake Bortles is the next generation of quarterbacks?
comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Weep for the future.

John Difool

If you want a vision of the future just imagine a Bortle stomping on a human face forever. -George Orwell

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like The Man From U.N.C.L.E. must have been a Hollywood welfare program for costume designers.

Sill Bimmons

THAT AD CAMPAIGN IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

...

The best part about this comment is that I don’t need to know which one you’re talking about to agree.

Sill Bimmons

LIKE ANYONE IS GOING TO GO TO THEIR WEBSITE TO SEE HOW THEIR STUPID FUCKING ADS END AAAARRRIIIIIIIGGHHHHHAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

jjfozz

I CALL THIS GAME MODERN ART, BECAUSE IT FEATURES LOTS OF UGLY COLORS, IS BORING AS HELL, AND I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY I’M LOOKING AT IT!

John Difool

The longer I watch this game the more I’m convinced I’m subjected myself to eyeball rape. Gonna have to hit the eyewash station at work extra-hard in the morning.

blackroseMD1

“Lets bring in Mike Carey to explain a play that doesn’t really need any explanation.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He was basically the NFL’s equivalent of Perd Hapley on that one.

Sill Bimmons

Vera Wang is a goddamn cockroach.

Sill Bimmons

Ice Stillers 3 — 2 Ice Donks 6:00 left 3rd.

jjfozz

God what a great show. Season two was a little . . . um, uneven.

Sill Bimmons
Redshirt

Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honda: Because nothing says “escape” like sitting inside a little metal box.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought I was being hip with the young people, turns out the drawstring on my sweats was broken.

John Difool

Blerp Derples

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Blake Butterfinger Bortles

jjfozz

I wish Faye Reagan would stop sexting me. Have a little pride, you scamp.

Doktor Zymm

The original purple drank song (not exactly SFW lyrics)

jjfozz

I recognize this song from the soundtrack of Sophie’s Choice.

WCS

“They look puke and Smurfs.” — Wifey

Sill Bimmons

Bile and turquoise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is she talking about your balls AGAIN?!?!

WCS

Victor Frankenstein will be even worse than this game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, that’s a movie? I thought it was “Peyton Manning: A Football Life”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It sounded like the announcer said “Suckup with the kick” and I thought for a single stunned second that Peter King was playing in the NFL.

...

The demise of KSK has deprived me of Peter King’s unique brand of sycophantry.

I almost miss it.

blordinaryfagicmox
Redshirt

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak.

jjfozz

When I was in college, I didn’t protest anything. I was trying to get drunk, high, or laid. Or all three at once.

These college kids these days . . .fucking safe spaces. Jesus god.

John Difool

Special snowflakes. If they want a truly safe space they should all cover themselves with placentas and just climb back into the womb.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble sorry that womb is currently occupied grumble grumble.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The closest thing we ever had to a protest on our campus was when the cafeteria served a single meal without any meat products available. They promised that they would never, ever, ever do it again.

blordinaryfagicmox

imho those kent stat students shiouldve staid inside and let those natnal guardsMEN “do their jobs” and not get in the way,,,

nomonkeyfun

My Dad’s Sophomore or Junior year, there was a riot on campus. It was because the cops had promised not to do anymore drug raids. They broke the promise. He”s told me that they flipped over cop cars and set them on fire.

jjfozz

that’s a riot i can get behind. halloween costumes hurting feelings? that’s a paddlin’

nomonkeyfun

Sometimes I feel like he’s just bragging with his college stories. The first show his Freshman year was the Doors, just after they blew up. Apparently there was a dealer walking up and down the line for people waiting to get in calling out the drugs he had like a vendor at a ballgame.

Mescaline, I’ve got your Acid etc.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Bah. Just found out my mom’s going into the hospital with an erratic heartbeat that they need to stabilize, so she can’t make it here next week.

So between that and this game, Thursday sucks.

WCS

Jeez. Hope she’s okay.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Much appreciated. She evidently had a mini-stroke earlier this week, so they’ve been looking into it & found the heartbeat problem.

jjfozz

My mom has/had the same thing. Usually the drugs help the heart get back, or it corrects itself. Sorry to hear, hope she gets better.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Thanks! She normally has very good health, so with any luck this is a correctable anomaly.

Doktor Zymm

Boo 🙁
Luckily erratic usually isn’t that bad, but still a downer.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Sounds like it’s correctable, so that’s good. Mainly concerned since she’s 90, but her family is exceptionally long-lived, so I’m still hoping for the best.

nomonkeyfun

Fuck. That’s all I can say.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“75 mph in a school zone and they didn’t give you a ticket? Honey, how on earth did you pull that off?”

jjfozz

BUT IT WASN’T A VICTORY BECAUSE THE REFS ARE DUMBER THAN A FIELD OF FUCKING TOADSTOOLS!

...

I’m just going to watch the Blacklist to see James Spader play America’s Favorite Psychopath.

John Difool

Tracy Wolfson had so many veins popping out of the side of her neck and face I thought I had accidentally switched the t.v. over to David Cronenberg’s ‘Scanners’.

blordinaryfagicmox
jjfozz

I’m looking at this game and all I can think of is earwax and a sickeningly sweet shooter ordered by drunken sorority sluts.

Doktor Zymm

“I’ll have one Aural Sex on the Beach please”

nomonkeyfun

A round of birthday cake vodkas.

nomonkeyfun

When everyone showed up at the bar for the rehersal dinner for my sister’s wedding, my Father’s current wife, #4, ordered tequila shooters for she and my Dad. When the bartender who had thirty people suddenly show up didn’t deal with them as she saw fit, she made him redo the drink order.

Everyone else was drinking beer, wine, or grownup mixed drinks.

Sill Bimmons
Redshirt

Well Karate Kid is on, but I can’t really enjoy it because much like staring in the sun or into a light bulb, the Jaguars jersey is burned into my retinas.

Sill Bimmons

Test

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I give up. Fuck Youtube.

Spanky Datass
Sill Bimmons

jerk

Spanky Datass

sup?

Sill Bimmons

nothin just mad at youtube

Spanky Datass

And yes, fuck Youtube.

WCS

WCS

The Pool at Everbank Field: Now with more hepatitis!