Oak @ Det: The Raiders have given up more than 400 yards rushing their last two games. They have a chance to get things under control against a Lions run game whose best individual performance this year is 56 yards. (6 QB’s have done better than that so far) The Lions stunned the Pack and pretty much anyone that has a functioning cortex last week. The secondary came up big but they’re banged up this week. You may want to start TE Ebron this week-the Raiders have given a TD to opposing tight ends in 8 out of 9 games this year.
Ind @ Atl: Both of these teams can’t stop anyone at this moment in time so I think that this tilt will be a high-scoring affair that leans towards the home team. Look for the Colts O to adopt more of a West Coast look to in order to better exploit Hasselbeck’s skill-set. That means short crossing routes galore and a heavy dose of the Gore. Atlanta has gotten lucky this year. They’ve played against 4 QB backups so far and sport a 3-1 record against them. They get their fifth in Hasselbeck.
NYJ @ Hou: S Pryor is back for the Jets and the team couldn’t be happier. With him in the lineup opposing QB’s had a 3-6 TD/Intercept ratio. Without him it’s 12-4. Of course injuries to Skrine, Bailey and Cromartie (that’s just the DB’s) may have been a factor as well-I’m not a scientist. If your running game consists of handoffs to the likes of Grimes, Polk and Blue, I’d guess that you’re in a world of trouble going up against the Jetski’s massive D-line and capable ‘backers. Here’s something you don’t usually associate with a 4-5 team. Houston hasn’t allowed a touchdown in 10 straight quarters. JJ Watt will be the first to condescendingly tell you that it’s a team effort but the first to think to himself that it’s all because of him. Yee Haw! TJ Yates gets fed to the wolves today.
TB @ Phi: Tampa is 3-2 in their last five which doesn’t seem like much until you compare it to being 3-23 before that. (slow) Progress! We do like to make fun of HC Smith’s in-game decisioning but his D has responded very well as the season has progressed. The talent was there all along-LB’s David and Alexander, DE’s McCoy and Smith and S McDougald all have above average talent and it’s beginning to shine. Lock up your daughters-it’s Sanchez time. Pedo brings his awesome 4-4 record to bear on an adequate offense that is having trouble scoring. Versus last year at this time the Eagles are down a full converted TD per game. Have teams figured out what HC Kelly is putting out there or is the system held down by god-awful QB play? I’m leaning towards the latter myself.
Den @ Chi: Methinks this is the game that will grab the attention of the majority of zee commenters. I mean, it’s got everything. It’s just that it would take too long to list them all. This one doesn’t look good for Denver, does it? The D has fallen apart and now they’re up against a cool cat at the QB spot that has a scorching 82.6 QBR since week six. Can Osweiler throw beyond 15 yards? A guy like WR Sanders might end up appreciating someone doing that. Denver hasn’t lost three in a row in 4 years until now. Langford has done much more than just fill in for Forte. Jeffery is a game-time decision as is Forte. Don’t you think they’ll keep both out of the game so that they’re good to go against Green Bay in 5 day’s time? If the Bears can get these two wins their season can be turned around in very short order.
StL @ Bal: HC Fisher must be desperate, turning to QB Case Keenum and his 34.5 QBR. His Rams coaching obit will most likely have “Against all common sense, he gave the reins over to Keenum” figuring prominently. Which brings us to the question of “how long will it take for Sean Mannion to get a look-see?”. If you are a Balti-moron (sp?) and are at the game you will get a commemorative coin today! You can use it to not-buy an imitation McCrab cake at your local McDonald’s.
Dal @ Mia: “Huzzah, Romo’s back!” say Cowboys fans and certain fantasy owners much like myself. What? At least I’ve still got my…..uh, thing? [checks] Yes, I still have my thing. Dallas is -2 and I’d jump on that like a Texas hick would his cousin. Suh sure does like his Campbell. He’s more than doubled his tackles, has 4 sacks and has disrupted 8 passes. It’s just a matter of time before he feels like his old self and steps on someone’s face.
Was @ Car: Cousins helped himself to the N.O. D and yours truly to a blow-out fantasy win in my money league. The Slurs have allowed 150 rush yards in 5 straight and it looks to be 6 after today. In PFF overall standings the Panthers have jumped ahead of the P*ts as the number 1 team. This means very little. Ginn bounced back last week but pre-season fantasy darling Devin Funchess gets his very first start today. At 6’5″ and 230 he’s a load.
End of the third…start entering the launch codes.
http://healingana.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/wargames.jpg
Those first couple Romoceptions were just practice, like firing a couple missles over the border into Palestine.
THE POWER OF NFC EAST COMPELS YOU!!
Disabling safety rods now.
God DAMN McFadden is slow.
He’s the best one-cut back with no vision that can’t run away from anyone.
Is the sound guy in Miami drunk? Who the fuck plays “Gangsta’s Paradise” at an NFL game?
Civic pride.
I can see playing “Amish Paradise” at a Colts game tho.
MORE VODKA FOR SEABASS
Dear Derek Carr:
Thank you for the fantasy ass-fucking.
Hugs and kisses,
Hippo
TheCorsairKoala just made an appearance when a fucking idiot Seahawks fan tries to start a conversation with me by overhearing my plans for the Steelers game next week and interjecting himself into the conversation about the “Stealers” having an illegal trophy.
After schooling him in the fine arts of football and how terrible a coach Mike Holmgren was…. my urge to kill is rising.
It’s never going to end, you know.
No killing! Portland popo will kill your ass.
I’m confident Seattle PD will grant me at least 1, considering the idiot.
Fuck this shit
Breaking news: someone is in this bar, which is ONLY showing the Bears game, wearing an old school Steve Smith Panthers jersey
Is it actually Steve Smith, looking for a baby to punch? Ask him for a list of people who he considers to be trash or fuckboys.
The Jets/Texans has been a hard-fought, hard-hitting and entertaining game. Come at me.
http://i.imgur.com/VfHWV2G.gif
The Skeksis were easily among the most terrifying creatures of my childhood.
Agree.
And 2+2=5.
We should totally accept more Syrian refugees into the country. Maybe some of them will be good at football and we can have more than like…4 good teams.
That’ll give new meaning to the term “blown-up coverage”
Can they run block?
They probably won’t be that into fireworks. Bonus.
“Personal foul, playing defense, on the defense, touchdown Seahawks!”
TWO BradshawDOWNs!!!!
/still getting murdered by foe playing two inactive dudes. MY LIFE
Dallas secondary is phoning this one in.
If only they had a leader on the D line who could motivate them to actually try. Instead all they have is a woman-beater.
Okay, what the shit is this? https://twitter.com/MasterTes/status/668492396980629505
Show that to a teenager. They’ll react like its a Model T.
Hipster douchebaggery knows no bounds.
The moms basement version of Hunter S. Thompson?
The Bears best offense remains throwing it up and relying on penalties to move the ball downfield.
Derek Carr has a Chi-Rho tattoo on his wrist.
Lev 19:28–Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.
Don’t apply unless he’s Jewish. Same reason Christians can eat bacon.
But whatever. I’m pretty Cutler about that sort of thing.
Yes it does.
The pick and choose method of Xtian Old Testament interpretation does not apply here.
Use one OT verse, use ’em all or GTFO
*Shrug*
If I were actually some sort of religious, I would subscribe to the heresy of Pelagius. Otherwise most of my philosophy on life revolves around the concept of probability and people’s inability to deal with same.
Not religious either, more of a “Know Your Enemy” type of thing.
This Colts-Falcons game is like “Kingdom of The Crystal Skull” in the sense that I want to wipe the memory of it completely from my mind.
I want to rage quit [*Redacted] s/Panthers so bad but that’s the other game in our area.
I never even saw it.
Everything I know about it comes from this:
http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/
http://i.imgur.com/Id9anAm.gif
The [*Redacted] s are setting all kinds of records, unfortunately is usually for the opposing team.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8oh23N61Y1qa3q45o1_r1_500.gif
There should be a football version of the Winter classic, but more so, aired in black and white.
http://i0.wp.com/www.footballvets.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/old_football_game.jpg
oh jesus hillman
nawt hillmans fault
Osweiler done fuck up.
57 game wait = Brock Lobster confirmed as the new Aaron Rodgers?!
oh fuck off fouts.
Co-signed.
-Chargers fan
The Ostrich stands tall in the face of the Bears’ onslaught!
If the Panthers beat the Pats in the Super Bowl, I’m gonna find someway to write that as a historical drama of the Crusades.
You mean beat refs, don’t you?
I hope Cam throws 3 more touchdowns against the Slurs, just to see how insane the media goes.
My bloggin’ arm is sore.
I hear frozen blueberries can be helpful.
Haven’t got any:(
Try typing with trigger finger…not fun.
As with PeyPey, we’re going to have to take you out back and shoot you.
The Jets are making Bill O’Brien look like a genius.
There’s a Funchess among us!
By the transitive property, the Panthers are now blowing out the Saints by million of points. MILLIONS.
Damn
BLEERGH DOTH FAVOR THE CAROLINAS
Bunches Of Funchess
Trevathan!
SHUT UP MEATBALL
Damn it, Catler. No catnip for you!
Fucking hell Cromartie
Things I am not interested in :
1) Watching BAL/STL
2) Contracting herpes
That’s about it.
I sleepover date with Charlie Sheen?
Wouldn’t that fall under 2?
Wrong STD.
Catler clearly felt bad about that nonfumble call
I just wish he’d quit licking his butt in front of company.
Banana-nana fo fomo, Romo
i always like to try singing that song with “Chuck” and not swear.
Kirk Cousins, a man born without peripheral vision.
I saw him out of the center of my eye!
I’m sensing we’re approaching critical mass in Miami soon.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Romo, It’s like he never left !
Romoception 2.
I laughed so hard I woke up my dog. Poor dog
Romo seems to be spreading the Romobyl across the entire game instead of the standard 4th quarter back breaking interception
Oh, Hai Romo!
This Jets — Titans game is an atrocity.
or texans whatev
Oilers?
Tony…Tony…Tony…
God damn this thurd quarter is boring
You spelled turd wrong.
Me on most dates :