There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to…
Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC)
Though this may have “third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey” written all over it at first glance…I wouldn’t be quite so hasty. The Packers have been poop for quite some time, at least on offense. I mean, I am quite likely to start Josh McCown over Aaron Rodgers this week. Yes, a good part of that is me being a fucking lunatic, but still. Plus, Catler’s zen presence has elevated all around him since returning from injury. The Bears qualify as perfectly average right now. Prepare to mute thine teevee boxes early and often, as this is a Favre Slurping Special tonight. Even if it’s physically impossible to deep throat ol’ #4″…Cris and Li’l Bobby Costas are sure gonna try their best regardless.
Well shit my pants and call me David Vitter, the Bears are gonna win this if Hochuli doesn;t stop ’em
HAIL BLEERGH!
Another BS call by Hochuli. Go fucking figure.
MOAR FLAGS!!!!
lady snow is napping and I can only be expected to let her glass of Cascade Blackcap Raspberry sit there for so long.
Blame evaporation. Can’t argue with science.
Wasting “food’ is a sin my boy!
Soon to be Mrs sharkbait is out and there is wine that is going to go bad if it’s not consumed
One of those great discrete packages they advertise.
Goddamn flags for the flag god.
Offside…offense?
That wasn’t much of a hold.
Catler uses Stiff Arm. It is not very effective.
Au contraire. Even though he got tackled, he put the dude on his ass.
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/cat-s-arm-raised-paw-isolated-white-31051695.jpg
My wife thinks it’s gross when I blow my nose into my hands while I take a shower. Is that just a guy thing?
Do whatever you want in the shower. It starts being gross when the water stops running.
But it’s all down the drain by then…mostly.
That’s just you man.
My wife does it too, but then, she grew up on a farm.
I’ve totally depressed myself watching Sean Taylor highlights. I’ll kill those assholes who shot him myself.
“What better honor could you have than Bart Starr, obviously not in the best of health…”
Seriously, Chris. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Why the hell does Collinsworth have this job? Awful.
Who has Chimura got babysitting for him tonight?
His girlfriend. Who else?
Fitting that we’re celebrating Brett Favre and Bart Starr on a day when we also celebrate how we didn’t Starrvre [chokes on wishbone]
Boooo
Awesome troll move by the organization…
“Well you thought this was just about you Brett, but here’s a more beloved hometown hero…..”
Now he’s done really well, please escort him out before he starts dribbling…
I’m a horrible person. I really am horrible.
I am legit concerned Brett was endangering his life by asking him to wave to the crowd.
Bart, this is football. You don’t dribble in football.
Ooops.
My favorite memory of Brett Favre is that time he got his shit blown up by Steve Atwater.
Wish King Hippo was still awake to reminisce with me about this.
This did indeed make me smile. Was cleaning the kitchen a bit.
I really should do that, but I can’t because I don’t want to.
Is that woman incapable of making a face outside of cheshire grin?
Ah, fuck. Bart’s gonna die soon.
With all the head-shots Farve took, he won’t be long following Bart to the grave.
“And I want to thank Jenn Sterger, because I jacked off to her fake cleavage so much”
Just for you Farve, I’m crushing up and doing a couple of rails of Percs…winners never quit!
Complete the circle and randomly text a dick-pic.
And most of all, I want to thank God for striking Peyton Manning down before he could take sole possession of the wins record.
/Bear partisan fluff
I know the Packers are a storied and important franchise, but the Bears have more retired numbers. The last time they retired numbers–sadly, against the Packers, in an epic asshole-tearing by BrittFar here–they retired TWO jerseys: Sayers’ #40 and Butkus’ #51.
And if his career overlapped #4’s, Butkus would’ve skullfucked BrittFar.
Fact-checking myself. Ditka’s was the last jersey they retired. Never mind.
http://theballerlifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/maxresdefault.jpg
I’m so footbawed out, I’m letting Mrs. Nobyl watch a Christmas show on the Hallmark (AKA Beautiful Rich White People) Channel instead of CHI/GB.
HOW FAR HAVE I FALLEN???
(Mind you, I’m watching the 4th quarter in the bedroom alone later, I am THE MAN OF THE HOUSE after all!!!)
Still better than watching The Brett Favre Show
C’mon Deadspin, it’s not too late to disgrace him again.
There for eternity. Farve and the size of his member.
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/brett-favre-endorses-microtouch.png
I wish this halftime ceremony is as short as his junk
Favre should have shown up in a Vikings jersey just to troll the hell out of the entire crowd.
On behalf of the Greenbay Packers, the fans, and countless women you cyber stalked…
Just some advice. No matter how shitty the Skins look, always, always, take em over the Saints.
So cool that all of Brett Favre’s former teammates are honoring him by showing up in their gameday Wranglers.
Wow, Farve’s teammates have not aged well.
Hey, there’s the child molester! I wonder if Chmura and Farve will get together for a “sexually inappropriate selfie”
That’s a sweet hat, looking like 2004 Bam Margera.
Good to see he dressed up for this…
Funny, I thought Lambeau Field was the House that Lambeau built. Or even if not that, then the House that Lombardi built. Are you telling me Farve is more important than Lambeau or Lombardi?
Was just thinking the exact same thing. Yeah, Favre was important to Green Bay, but he’s like Scottie Pippen to Lombardi’s Jordan.
You know, if it was some milquetoast color guy saying it, I’d let it pass. But that was the goddamn president of the team who said that. A guy who should have a very thorough knowledge of the team’s (and league’s) history.
My freezer vodka is kaput. I am now deciding between tequila and seagram’s lime gin.
What say you’s????
if you’re watching this halftime, chug the hardest stuff you have handy
http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/clear-alcohol.gif
Here we go…
Hold on to your butts.
Don’t know about y’all, but fucking amped about this Favre halftime show. Is he going to sing some country songs with Ga/Fla Line? (Shoot me. Please shoot me in the head)
The saving grace is that I think halftime is still only 12 minutes long.
The first two awful halftime shows tried to prepare us for the suck that is about to happen
Men, I am enjoying this game not only am I enjoying the Bears winning, but I have been pounding Redemption Rye Manhattans before finishing a bottle of Duchesse and now nursing a Cuvée des Jacobins Rouge.
Jacobins is the shit. Best Belgian sour we get in Texas.
If I wasn’t so tired, I’d try my first drink of Bulleit that you guys recommended.
Drink something for me. Let’s toast to the Bears’ defense not playing like total shit!
BLEERGH WILL NOT TOLERATE LIMP FLAGS
How the fuck ya doing boys?!?! Happy Givings of Thanks all around I hope. Or at least really drunk?
Tired and full of snot. So like being drunk, but cheaper.
The only good part about being sick is NyQuil
Never had it. Weird, eh?
it’s a miracle
Mcarthy is looking quite swarthy
Mike McCarthy makes great coaching decisions.
Sup folks. Cable was out until ten minutes ago.
Good lord who hasn’t Collinsworth slobbered over tonight???
Favre in the booth, I can’t even imagine…
Everyone not named Brett Favre
He’d be old now, but I miss Sean Taylor.
I wish that the time Sean Taylor leveled Brian Moorman was the only Pro Bowl play I’d ever watched.
“Very casually played”? What the fuck does that mean? He’s wearing a robe and reading the morning newspaper?
No pants?
Drawing of his pipe while reading the New Yorker.
That’s more what I was going for, but I lost my thought.
Clayton just announced Tony Romo has a broken leg collarbone. [sic]