Turkeynacht Finale Game Thread

There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to…

Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC)

Though this may have “third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey” written all over it at first glance…I wouldn’t be quite so hasty. The Packers have been poop for quite some time, at least on offense. I mean, I am quite likely to start Josh McCown over Aaron Rodgers this week. Yes, a good part of that is me being a fucking lunatic, but still. Plus, Catler’s zen presence has elevated all around him since returning from injury. The Bears qualify as perfectly average right now. Prepare to mute thine teevee boxes early and often, as this is a Favre Slurping Special tonight. Even if it’s physically impossible to deep throat ol’ #4″…Cris and Li’l Bobby Costas are sure gonna try their best regardless.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Lothar of the Hill People

Yeah, I remember that game, Britt. I had a 104 fever in a malaria attack. It was Halloween 1995. The Bears got fucked without lube. Fuck you, Britt.

jjfozz

Someone here just confirmed Obama is a Muslim. Christ help me.

entropy

Where the hell ARE you, coal country?

jjfozz

Wife’s one side of family is excruciatingly republican and Christian. And woefully under educated.

Sill Bimmons

Tell them he’s a Sikh, then watch the confusion.

Gratliff

“See! I told you Star Wars was a documentary!”

litre_cola

Good lord, if bot h Al and Cris are talking who is fellating Favre?

Sill Bimmons

Random fluffer.

Lothar of the Hill People

I think Kyle Long actually made the tackle on that play.

entropy

Are there actual Favre fans on this planet? I’ve never met one.

Lothar of the Hill People

They’re all on TV.

litre_cola

My ex gf has a signed picture in her accounting office, she is awful.

Romonobyl

So they’re still pimping the Wiz? Will there be an Anglo version of The Color Purple now?

Sharkbait

That’s raycess.

#blackfridaysmatter

Romonobyl

#blacklivesmatterunlessyou’reblackthenjustblastaway

entropy

The Color Taupe, Live on NatGeo, staring Mary Steenburgen and Steve Guttenberg.

JustStopDude

It was called Friends and ran for a shitload of seasons cause white people have no taste.

Gratliff

“RACIST BULLSHIT. MY FAMILY IS FROM THE SOUTH AND THEREFORE CAN NOT MAKE THINGS THAT DON’T TASTE AMAZING! WHITE PEOPLE INVENTED ENTERTAINMENT. THIS IS WORSE THAN SLAVERY!”

-All the white people on facebook

Lothar of the Hill People

Bart Starr had grit.

Of course, he’s white.

Romonobyl

Well…his zipper IS up.

Romonobyl

Oops…

jjfozz

Farve got dressed up

Sill Bimmons

oh jesus

Sharkbait

OH GOD BRITFARR IS IN THE BOOTH

Lothar of the Hill People

Oh. My. God. MarvelUniverseLive.com

Coming to Columbus. The guys in that show must smell of alcohol and despair. They must all be Browns fans.

Lothar of the Hill People

OK, Ray Liotta is a good actor. You get him on a TV show and you put him opposite… Jennifer Lopez?

She has all the fucking range of a still life.

entropy

STOP INSULTING STILL LIFE PAINTINGS!!

Horatio Cornblower

KAAAAAAAAREN!!!! WHY AM I ON THIS GODDAMN TV SHOW KAREN!!! DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO READ MY SCRIPTS!? GODDAMMIT KAREN, YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!

entropy

That was perfect.

makeitsnowondem

Study of Two Canteloupes in Jeans

JustStopDude
jjfozz

Oh god, wife’s family saying 9-11 was inside job. Not close enough to drunk to deal with this.

entropy

You’re at Pete Carroll’s place?

makeitsnowondem

Tell them that they’ve got it all wrong, that it was actually Obama who did 9/11, and then take the rest of the night off.

Sharkbait

Hail Bleergh

makeitsnowondem

rogers wrist can’t get any limper than it already was

right

anyway thank you the journal sentinel for inviting me here tonight

blackroseMD1

Go home NotForte, you’re drunk.

Lothar of the Hill People

That PI was obvious. And I’m not being a Bear fan saying that.

American Pie Story

Bouncy ball!

Romonobyl

I don’t care what anyone says…the spiral-sliced ham has been the most influential thing to happen to Thanksgiving since the musket and smallpox.

entropy

I made one Tuesday night and have been picking at it ever since… Spiral cut ham is better than sliced bread.

Romonobyl

They go together quite well actually.

JustStopDude

French’s fried onions…

Lothar of the Hill People

It turns out that spiral hams caused much death in the new world; pigs carried influenza and tuberculosis into virgin animal and human populations.

Romonobyl

A POX ON YOUR HOUSE SIR!!!!!

entropy

Well, yeah, that’s what he’s saying.

Thrillhouse

Favre somewhere in the locker room throwing on a Tolzien jersey.

Horatio Cornblower

Rodgers hurt? You know what this means right?

BAH GAWD!!! THAT’S BRITTFAR’S MUSIC!!!

American Pie Story

IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!111!11!

litre_cola

Please make this happen. YEEEEEHHHAAAAWWW, ALL HELL I WONT EVEN CHANGE MY WRANGLERS WHOOOOOOOO

Lothar of the Hill People

“Packers announce signing both Farve and Starr as emergency backups”

Lothar of the Hill People

“Starr as quarterback, Farve as ball-holder”

JustStopDude
Sharkbait

Bad day for quarterbacks with names starting with R

blackroseMD1

Rodgers ded?

The Maestro

O AN U NOE HE DED O YEZ HE IZ

Gratliff

Broken wrist. Congratulations Vikes.

litre_cola

Have you seen their qb throw? He has a broken wrist too I believe.

Lothar of the Hill People

That’s Rodgers’ jerking hand.

The Maestro

RAWDJAZ DED

makeitsnowondem

Maybe he could have handled that snap if Olivia Munn hadn’t been in the end zone seats unbuttoning her shirt.

entropy

I stand by my statement earlier that we should run the NFL for one weekend. Nothing has to be binding other than score, but we have to be better than these idiots.

And man that was funny hearing that “FUCK!” from Rodgers.

Horatio Cornblower

I look forward to PFT Commenters letter to the FCC complaining about that.

Lothar of the Hill People

I heard Rodgers say “fuck”

Horatio Cornblower

That gives you one over Olivia Munn.

Lothar of the Hill People

Oh, I’m sure he’s told her to “Stay the fuck away from me!”

entropy

“Don’t fucking touch that! That’s not for you!”

Lothar of the Hill People

“It’s a natural reaction, so that makes it OK for Green Bay to do.”

blackroseMD1

Not nearly enough people refer to the period between 2000 and 2009 as the aughts. That needs to happen more.

Lothar of the Hill People

I haven’t said “aught” since 19-dickety-5! We had to say “dickety” because the Kaiser stole our word “twenty!”

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola- Maybe stop throwing to him, hands, hands, hands

Lothar of the Hill People

Flag thrown on Chicago because Rodgers threw the ball too far. Name of foul? Impinging on QB success.

Horatio Cornblower

Did Cris just blame video games for the Packers losing two games?

What’s next, that their pants are too low?

American Pie Story

Damn kids these days

JustStopDude

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/257767/maury-you-are-not-the-father-o.gif

we should have Maury do the officiating instead of the refs…

American Pie Story

If Maury was in charge the NFL would be a much better organization

Lothar of the Hill People

What the fuck? that was goddamn uncatchable

entropy

That no longer matters in today’s NFL.

Lothar of the Hill People

We’re so flag-happy and pro-offense anymore, it seems like after every goddamn incompletion, people fucking boo when there’s not a flag.

American Pie Story

I feel like I should be drunk for this. And yet there is no booze.

American Pie Story

Might as well be.

litre_cola

Shope small. Who are the sponsors for the NFL again? Jim’s Corndog hut? Benny’s tire repair?

makeitsnowondem

Just did a breath check and it’s like 70% all-corn whiskey.

Lothar of the Hill People

In non-funny cat news, my 13 year-old best furry friend has been losing weight suddenly over the past couple weeks; we think he’s not even drinking now. I’m taking him to the vet tomorrow and very hopeful there will be a simple (and, frankly, inexpensive) treatment to turn him around.

After his sister (actual littermate) got sick and had to be put down 3 years ago, I had a long talk with this cat and my expectations that he make it to at least 18 years old so both my kids would have solid, fond memories of him. I hope he was paying attention during that talk.

Sill Bimmons

Probably thyroid.

One of my parents’ cats had a similar problem and adjusting her thyroid straightened everything out.

She’s almost 16 and doing fine, so fingers crossed for you.

Lothar of the Hill People

I hope so. He’s always been skinny and not a big eater. But this cat will not take kindly to pills.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m full of booze an food but because I’m a goddamn hero I’m going to finish this last beer so it can be with its friends.

Lothar of the Hill People

I did the same honor to the last piece of my son’s birthday cake. I’m a fucking hero.

The Maestro

Hey guys. No Thanksgiving for me here north of the border, but I still got drunk anyways. How was y’all’s dinners?

ssi_bulldawg

Buttery and delicious here. And drowning in wine. And watching the brand new 55′ Vizio. All around, great.

Romonobyl

Make fun of us on Boxing Day.

Lothar of the Hill People

So, what do you call this non-holiday? Thursday, eh?

American Pie Story

Black Friday Preview Sale Day

JustStopDude
Lothar of the Hill People

Cutler spun right into that blitz. I think someone had a laser pointer.

American Pie Story

Save the guttural sound talk for the break, gents.