There are only so many corpses to roll out from the NFC East, so some must be saved for Sunday. Thusly, you will be treated to…
Bears @ Packers (8:30, NBC)
Though this may have “third shitshow of the day when one is already sleepy from teh turkey” written all over it at first glance…I wouldn’t be quite so hasty. The Packers have been poop for quite some time, at least on offense. I mean, I am quite likely to start Josh McCown over Aaron Rodgers this week. Yes, a good part of that is me being a fucking lunatic, but still. Plus, Catler’s zen presence has elevated all around him since returning from injury. The Bears qualify as perfectly average right now. Prepare to mute thine teevee boxes early and often, as this is a Favre Slurping Special tonight. Even if it’s physically impossible to deep throat ol’ #4″…Cris and Li’l Bobby Costas are sure gonna try their best regardless.
Willie Joe would like a word regarding breaking receiver’s fingers.
AND FUCK YOU AND THIS BRETTT IS JUST HAVING FUN SHIT
He’s having fun when he hits SEND.
I think that extra point kick broke the laws of physics.
That or someone in the crowd has a portal gun.
It did go all direction changey, no?
Looked like it almost made a 90 degree turn. Craziest kick I’ve ever seen.
Wow, barring a ST meltdown (very possible), Bears go into halftime winning in Green Bay? Holy carp.
Looks like the best thing I have going for me in the free Yahoo Thanksgiving daily fantasy thing I participated in on a lark is that I started the same defense as everyone else.
When you crowdsurf, you don’t know where you’re going. But you’re probably going forward. That is the last Bears TD.
Langford, you vulturing bastard!
Hey sweet….Just found out HBO/Cinemax having the holiday freeview this weekend on DirecTV so….free Thanksgiving softcore porn!!!!! Woo!!!!
I have fallen asleep on the couch watching a regular movie on Cinemax and woken up at 2 AM to INCREDIBLY LOUD SOFTCORE PORN more often than I care to admit.
LOL. I subscribe to HBO Now to watch series and such on the tablet. But I guess this weekend I can watch the Leftovers on the big screen.
I assure you…I will not watch any of the porn.
No, seriously.
MarquessDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope. Hopefully it will lead to a ForteDOWN though.
/vultured
Sonuva…
Nice blitz, Green Bay. Learn that one from a Ryan brother?
I’m footbawed out, so I’m posting moar airplane porn:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/24eb7cccc19d9615e1a35edd87a03e31/tumblr_nrz6j3pxyt1u0kmm0o1_500.jpg
And today in DAAWWWWWW!!:
http://41.media.tumblr.com/a4c32987ded93112bfcc6e8a64ee90ba/tumblr_nyffmrnyLR1ugqf1po1_500.jpg
Corsairs are my fucking favorite warplane of all time.
Can you tell I grew up on Baa Baa Black Sheep?
Remember this?
Robert Conrad eyefucking the camera? I dare you to knock it off!
“Perfect Throw by Jay Cutler”
Unless that’s that name of a new scent and not a description of that throw I just saw, NOPE.
He’s taken up knitting.
Well, the ball DID move forward as it left his hand, so…
Perfect Throw is what Catler calls the blanket he’s always kneading.
Or knitting…it’s last call my friend.
The PHI-DET halftime was pretty bad with that goofball singer; the CAR-DAL halftime was so awful somebody better go to jail for that. As bad as these were, I’ve got a feeling that this games halftime is going to out-suck them both (and after the CAR-DAL travesty I didn’t think that was possible)
I believe these halftimes are all fitting for the games they represent.
I liked whatever misc hip hop guy was in Detroit. The Dallas guy can die in a fire. Who makes music in Green Bay? Probably no one good.
It’s hard to fashion a song around cheese and beer.
It’s Wisconsin, we’re gonna get more country. Or if God really hates us, Favre karaoke.
Oh fuck my life. I tapped out on football halfway through the Eagles game, and missed out on The Last Romoing, and I come back just in time to watch Lambeau suck off Favre one more time. Boo.
You chose…. Poorly.
At least it will be a short suck off
http://rs1277.pbsrc.com/albums/y496/FuzzySapiens2/Alison%20Brie/alison-brie-santa_zps679cd983.gif
I give up….time to drink heavily
http://i1277.photobucket.com/albums/y496/FuzzySapiens2/Alison%20Brie/alison-brie-santa_zps679cd983.gif
Isn’t a showhole where the men can see it all?
I buy shit from the same 3 websites every year, and no way so I leave the house. Here I come, fresh underwear!
So is anyone here getting up at Stupid o’clock tomorrow to feed capitalism?
Absolutely not.
Hell no. I worked a Black Friday at Fry’s not that long ago, and it put me off the thing forever.
Several years back, went to Staples at 5 am for a good deal on something I don’t remember, and the sales guy says they’re out of stock, but I can go online to order it all day.
I said to myself, “Why the fuck would I ever come out in the cold and dark, stand in line to get in, stand in line to check out, etc., etc., if I can just do the same thing from the comfort of my home at any time during the day?”
Not letting you guys choose my next drink, when I get to it. It’s gonna be some glögg.
Ha! I just learned something. In “Frozen” when Prince Hans tells the townspeople there’s “hot glogg” in the castle, I thought that was a fuckup, and he was supposed to say “grog.”
Didn’t know there was an actual Scandanavian drink by the name.
Yes, I watch a lot of Frozen. My daughter turns 6 in 4 weeks.
I never caught that when I watched Frozen, although I was aware of glögg at the time. That’s awesome.
I think also that if we have to watch any children’s movie over and over again, we’re in the best possible era for it.
True. I have my kids hooked on Pixar movies, mostly. So it’s not terrible. Except my son is hung up on Cars, and Cars 2 is a very un-Pixar-like abortion.
“Time heals all wounds. Except herpes. Next up, BrittFarve’s number retirement ceremony, sponsored by Valtrex!”
So just tuning in. This seems…oddly competitive
Is his cell phone in that exhibit?
I maintain “showhole” is a horrible idea and there should be many Twitter pics to support it.
I immediately think “porn star’s vag” when I hear it.
Or The Nightman Cometh.
“The official beer sponsor of the NFL”
(As if that means our beer tastes good)
Tryn to arouse the Hippo, sans anger….
Wait…that didn’t sound right.
http://www.demotivationalposters.org/forum/download/file.php?id=33089&sid=826aa2fd14507c215d9a928096f4b457
Well dang, that didn’t work as expectated.
Usually when Rodgers goes dancing and darting, he finds at least one guy.
To the left, to the left, set all your receivers in a play to the left.
Jebus. I’d give my left nut for a Bears lineman who can read the goddamn screen.
You might apply for the Saints defensive coordinator position.
Dale’s Pale Ale is a quality get ready for bed beer.
It saved a certain touchdown? Which one, Al?
Wow, the Bears suckered Rodgers into audibling into the exact wrong play.
I guess Rodgers has trouble with bears, sometimes.
So, is it too early for Victoria’s Secret Christmas-y stuff?
Nah.
It DOES make me angrier than aroused. YMMV
Yeah, #47 blocked #11 in the back on that return. Nevermind noting it, Chris, just suck off the returner.
Ok, as an outed Cowboy’s fan, should I bother reviewing the open thread previous to this one as I was unable to participate; or would that be too much salt for an already open, necrotic wound?
And remember…it’s Thanksgiving.
For your own sanity, stay away.
it was honestly pretty funny
I think everyone did some fine work there. You might want to wait a week to read it, though.
There’s probably a lot of laughter in there for non-Cowboys fans.
It didn’t strike me as especially mean-spirited.
No one said anything bad, even me. There’s probably pain enough in knowing that your team depends on Romo, but can’t protect Romo.
**Thinks about RG3, Cries. ***
So you never said “Fuck the Cowboys”? Not even once?
I did…but with a surprising amount of mitigation. I actually feel kinda bad, I should have been harsher.
What are the odds RG3 goes to the Cowboys after Washington cuts him in the off-season?
I’ve actually considered this. He can be a somewhat more fragile Cam Newton, but Dallas doesn’t know how to use him.
Halftime was pretty funny
Jesus no it was not it was a fucking war crime set to shitty country music.
Shoved the kicker aside like a pocket door! Hahahahaha
Wow this Point Break movie looks awful. Jesus. Who the fuck agreed to make this shit heap?
“Whu?”
-Hollywood producer, looking up from the pile of cocaine covering his desk
I can totally believe Rob Gronkowski puts his head through windows. I totally DON’T believe no alcohol is involved, though.
ME DAY
Page 13 it is.
Not a blowout? I’m confused….
Eagles game was 7-7 at one point, too.
NotForteDown!
TOUCHDOWN, WHITE BLACK UNICORN
Dang, Culter did another good. He’s avoiding tacklers like rubella.
Ah fuck here’s another announcer surprised that defensive linemen can move around the front.
Mike McCarthy looks like he’s channeling Farve’s beard.
He needs a place to store gravy.
Why the fuck was the official checking if Jeffery made the catch if he determined he was out of bounds?
Not actually that bad. Go Vector!! Boo Grosss Clay.
Dang, Cutler did a good.
FATGUYFUMBRE!!!!
Yay. Fat guy fumbled because he had too much turkey grease on the ball.
Hey, look at that butterfingered motherfucker with the huge belly!
[switches from recorded dining room surveillance video back to game]
no excuses, he should be the warmest fucker out there smh
Choose My Adventure:
If make it snow drinks more whiskey, turn to page 13.
If make it snow gets back into the bottle of glögg, turn to page 42.
If make it snow chooses a strong beer, turn to page 77.
If make it snow settles in with a Sierra Nevada Celebration, turn to page 100.
Whiskey! /turns to page 13
I’m on page 13, too. Happening place.
I assume I can keep a finger in the choice page?
We’ll definitely be coming back to this decision.
At the end of my page 13, it says “end of line, return to top.”
what if lady snow cuts him off?
Page 77, easier to monitor beer intake.
This season has revealed to me that I don’t actually care about the Bears. They are, technically, my second team, but I don’t hate their division rivals, I don’t care that much if they’re awful, i kind of wanted them to such to drive down ticket prices. Yes, I will follow the Bears, Yes, I will know the names of Bears players, even if that name is Sanzenbacher. Yes, I will know all of the horrible people the Bears call a secondary. But, not a Bears fan am I.
That reads a little bit like Doctor Seuss, not Doctor Zymm.
“I do not like the Bears, Sam-I-Am. I do not like them with John Fox, I do not like them with 8 men in the box!”