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NE @ Hou: The Gronk is listed as Questionable. The player most statistically invested in him playing is not Gronk, it’s Br*dy. Mike Sando has pointed out that since 2010 when Gronk entered the league, Brady is 182/42 with respect to TD/Int’s when the former is on the field. When Gronk is not on the field that ratio falls to 42/19. And so it goes-Brady’s passer rating falls from 104 to 86.8. His QBR falls from 72 down to 59.5. Brady’s TD rate with Gronk on the field? 6.7%. Off the field? 3.5. Stats-wise, that porno star-boinking tight end is more valuable to the O than anyone else. “That’s all well and good”, says JJ Watt, “but has he ever squealed with delight when meeting Jennifer Aniston?”.
Your “We Are All Fans Of Watt Taking Out Brady” Sunday Night Open Thread
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God damnt.
I found an old clip of Brian Belichick’s kid Stephen when he was a catcher in college.
http://i.imgur.com/B9ezDxp.gif
Chip off the old block…
HOYER COUNTRY
Sorry beer, you are going back into the fridge. I am, sadly, too drunk to drink you. Another day, I promise.
If you pop the cap off a bottle of beer with a lighter instead of an opener you can usually almost completely reseal the bottle with the cap because a lighter won’t bend it.
Poor beer is lonely. Don’t do that to poor beer.
BLEERGH ON THE SIDE OF JUSTICE
Did the refs get confused who the Patriots and the Houston Houstonians are?
I have an open latter for Cris Collinsworth, on behalf of a grateful nation:
Shut….
The…
Fuck…
Up…
Latter?? I’m cut off.
Nate Washington: Still pointless.
You know, how in a porno, two chicks will be blowing a guy and they rub that dude’s joint all over their faces, and pass it back and forth, and maybe pay attention to the ball and sack, and get all slobbery and gluey?
That’s how I’m picturing Al and Cris right now, and the dick is New England.
Seems legit.
If you’re betting on extra point streaks, you should probably call a hotline.
New game: Drink every time the Doktor says fuck pants. I’ll see all of you in hell.
You probably shouldn’t give me the power to make people drink. I am not charitable in that particular regard. Have a shot, and fuck pants 😀
I can just hear it now. #Heelgate. That’ll be your trending hashtag among Massholes.
TWO overturned calls against the Pats? Mr. Kraft will NAWT be pleased.
What a waste of ‘contributions’.
Suck a hot tailpipe patriots!
After review, ALL THESE MEN HAVE FANTASTIC ASSES IN THOSE PANTS. ALSO FUCK PANTS.
NO CATCH
He does this bullshit in real life.
Gon-na sit on this chick’s face
I actually thought the Eagles might beat the Pats, and the Broncos was a legit close game. This, predictable Pats win and not worthy of Sunday night.
Fuck, really did lose my feed
I’m not at work. Can’t blame me!
Yes, I’m sure JJ Watt thought that he could only rush in a straight line. Because when he changed positions, he was completely unaware of the rules of football that even a retarded 4 year-old can understand.
Today, my 2 yr old was denied a cookie.
He cried, got red in the face, threw himself on the ground, and screamed.
I’m proud that he was following “The Patriot Way”
Did your parents chide you into giving him the cookie? That is the Patriot way.
After review, my sandwich was fucking tasty and this bathrobe is still awesome.
Anything is better than pants.
NAWT FACKIN FAIHHH THE LEAGUE HAHS IT OUWT FOR GREATIOTS NAHHTION!
Imagine what will happen when the NFL decides to put basketball players at the Strong Safety position to cover the basketball playing TE’s.
Shit, I might lose my feed to the game now, stupid shared cable boxes
This comment DESERVES to make it past the duplicates filter.
Toyota Jan or AT&T Lily…WHO YA GOT?!?!?
Lily. There can be no other.
Lily. There can be no other.
Team Lily… shes like a young Flo
?w=490
Don’t compare Lily to that!
Lily, even though Animated Lily doesn’t sound like its her voice.
This is a joke, right?
Toyota Jan is pretty, no doubt. But she’s RC Cola to Lily’s Coke:
http://adwhois.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Laurel-Coppock.jpg
Alright. I’m going to turn the TV off. If the Patriots lose, I expect gratitude from you guys. If Brady gets hurt, I expect Mr. Miyagi to show up in the Bengals Locker Room tomorrow and do that “rubbing thing” he does to heal all their boo-boos.
Refs huddle.
“Well, it only bounced once. That counts for New England, right?”
“Yep, that’s what Mr. Kraft says.”
“PASS COMPLETE!”
The Patriots. The only team where 2 games is a “losing streak.” Fuck you, fuck this, fuck your cat, fuck your couch.
NO….NOT MITTENS!!!
Cris, stick your head any farther up Gronk’s butt and Tommy might get jealous!
Why are TE’s out scoring most of the WR’s this year? Is it because you are giving large fast guys free reign to run across the middle?
#BLACKDRIVESMATTER
Defenses have yet to adjust to guys who can run fast, of any size.
Hmm I think I will turn to minecraft for entertainment for the rest of this game. Maybe I will make a football stadium! The scoreboard will forever read 4-2. The Stadium of the Safety.
So Dallas plays Saturday night, but I’ll be with the Mrs. in San Antonio for a concert. I’m amazingly indifferent at this condition of loggerheads.
The things we have to do to get a goddamn signal…
Christ, what an asshole.
This game has robbed me of the will to live.
/just kidding, didn;t have that to begin with smh
Pants : Fuck Em.
A Documentary.
Kickstarter?
We should. Records would be broken. That pants hate, it be universail
Do PJ pants count as actual pants? Because thats the first thing I change into when I get out of work
There are levels of pants, sweat pants, yoga pants, pajama pants, these are all mostly acceptable, it’s all covered in the film.
Wait, I’m confused about this game. So JJ Watt knew that Patriots were setting him up?
Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own game. I have a very short attention span.
It’s all about the fluoride that JJ Watt has been drinking from the public water supply I think.
That’s a 15-yard penalty on top of the fumble, too. Top-flight derping, to be sure.
This woman in the Walmart commercial is way too cute to actually shop at Walmart.
Can he do it again?
So they actually said that without Andy Dalton, the Bengals will get to the playoffs but won’t advance?
Alanis Morrisette has a new verse for “Ironic”
Oh, has anyone seen CBQUE over the last however long it’s been? Because St. John’s beat ‘Cuse this afternoon, WOO!
With every passing week it becomes more and more apparent that Tony Dungy is a Spitting Image puppet
Hoyl shti, the Jaguras beat the carp out of the Clots.
LLO WFT BQB
Down for some sushi?
Not carp.
Can’t eat carp unless you’re a lunatic.
I want to brag again to everyone in every forum. I lost 100 lbs over the last year+
As long as you’re not implying you dumped your girlfriend…
No one has ever loved me. So not an issue
Pretty sure we are all well-wishers, in that we don’t wish you any specific harm
Is it wrong that I find that heartwarming?
I smell a terribly cliched gentleman’s bet between Marc and me regarding successful ladying this February!
Did you know if you are sexy every person you see will try to hit on you? I didn’t til recently
That’s legit awesome, but I really want to make a Futurama “Looks like you found it again joke.” You’re probably not a half android Jamaican being used as a puppet by a space lobster though.
So you bought a British prostitute?
Did you know 90% of Camrys sold in the last 10 years today….
how should I complete this?
Have brought me a goddamn sandwich?
Have had me sit in the back with no pants while yelling “FUCK THE COWBOYS”?
Have given biting commentary about JJ Watt?
FUCK PANTS.
Are you a Toyota Camry and are just telling us now?
Are still on the road, sullying our majestic highways with their anodyne mawkishness?
I’d like to learn more of these “fuck pants” of which you speak…
I fully support the FUCK PANTS theory.
I like the concept that even the #Grinderest of cars is critical of JJ What?
“#1 Pharmacist-recommended brand (phenalyn-based) decongestant”
Psst, there is only ONE phenalyn-based decongestant brand. What the fuck else are pharmacists gonna recommend?
Leeches?
Sssshhhh! You’re ruining the #NARRATIVE and the #BRANDING
Laudanum: Your #1 pharmacist-recommended opium-based tincture!
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