Chi @ Min: Cutler really likes WR Jeffrey-the latter is targeted 35% of the time on pass plays. The problem today is that Alshon is listed as questionable. Sooo….go Cam Meredith! (who?) SOMEBODY has to help Cutler break his tie with Pheel Simms on the all-time TD list. Eight of the last ten Bears games have been decided by 4 points or fewer. All respect to Minny defenders Barr, Smith and Joseph-when they aren’t on the field the Vikes give up 2 more yards per play. The first two are out today and Joseph looks like a game-timer.
Atl @ Jax: The Falcons are 6-7 but at this point are much lousier than that. Their last win was a 10-7 squeak job versus the Titans. That and a 38-0 humbling by the Panthers last week tells you exactly where they are as a team. I admit I’ve got a soft spot for the pleasantly surprising Jags. The last two years they’ve averaged just 15 points per game-over their last nine they’re scoring 29 and change. Peak Bortles-mania may be a little ways away at this point but if Jax can focus on the D in the draft next spring Florida may finally have something to be proud of in the future.
Hou @ Ind: How does a surging Texans team spell “bourble”? T-J Y-A-T-E-S and his sub 50% completion rate spell bourble. This battle of 6 and 7’s will go quite some way in determining the “winner” of the AFC South but you knew that. I say put QB Whitehurst in there for the Colts in order to level the playing field. Although if Watts and Clowney have their way it may happen at some point regardless.
Car @ NYG: Them Panters are only favoured by a measley 4 points. Why? Perhaps it’s because the Giants love playing undefeated teams after wk. 10 of the season. They are 4-0 in those games. CB Norman and WR Beckham will see each other this game but it won’t quite be a ‘showdown’. You see, Norman tends to stick to the outside while Beckham plays about 20% of the time in the slot. I’m thinking that that percentage will increase as the Giants will try to create scoring opportunities for their star WR.
Ten @ NE: The Lamb Lies Down On Gillette Stadium.
Buf @ Was: The Slurs have allowed the most long TD’s (20 or more yards in the air) and Tyrod has thrown the most in the league this year. If Rex can do the old “2+2=4” then you may want to pull WR Watkins out of your holster if you’re in some fantasy playoff thingy. It’s Pride Day in Buffalo because that’s all they’re playing for. But Washington is playing for something far more important-the honour of being pitilessly stomped into the dirt by whatever wildcard team plays them should they make the post-season.
KC @ Bal: Looks as though the Chiefs will have to do without manbeast Justin Houston for the rest of the regular season. Dee Ford (who?) picked up the slack last week however when he recorded three sacks. With the Jets having won last night pressure is on KC to do the same. This is not an impossible task against a clearly discouraged Ravens squad.
GINNDOWN!!
It was really adorable how the Giants thought they had that drive stalled.
I still don’t know how Ted Ginn always seems to fuck up the Giants.
JPP giving Cam a congratulatory pat on the back with his club during that run
Cam Newton runs for 47 yds because JPP couldn’t lay a finger on him. smdh
Touchdown Painthers. smgdh
http://forums.trinituner.com/upload/data/09/Sexy_Dominican_woman_in_bikini_riding_a_horse.jpg
Well JPP isn’t good with anything explosive.
Dan Snyder has vowed to right a wrong:
Next year the team will be named the Washington Grimy Jew Lobbyists.
Cam takes out the official as he gets tackled. Somehow that will be spun against him.
watching Cam play really is beautiful.
/no homo
Cam Newton: Loose Seal
You’re not fooling anyone.
Seems legit…
Joe Buck, it’s okay-you can say the Giants LB’s are shit. There’s no need to blame it on injuries.
Oh hai Pat Mcafee
GO YOU STUPID RATBIRDS WOO
Strange bedfellows… but I’m in the same boat, so GO YOU STUPID RATBIRDS
It’s as if you were in the room with me when I just shouted that.
Pickle-Down
EMUDOWN!
Goddamn.
The Ravens steal EVERYTHING from the Steelers.
don’t be all jelly
I’m not.
Just painting a purple stripe down the side doesn’t make the Bumblebee pants suck any less.
Slurs, Gints, and Iggles lose, and we’re guaranteed no team with a winning record comes out of the East. Iggles and Slurs can actually afford to lose 2 of their next 3 games. Think about how awful that is.
Can we root for a tie between the Colts and whoever the hell they’re playing?
Winning that division will be a pyrrhic victory indeed.
Tyrod Taylor almost got deded…
The idiots here think that the solution to casinos dying in Atlantic City is to build more casinos.
This despite the fact that NYC casinos are going to happen within ten years.
Here in New Jersey, “casino government” is the real fucking thing!
Here in Hudson County, Iranian-style government is preferred.
The solution is obviously a DerpKings Game-Of-Skill-And-Totally-Not-Chance House
CHIPPY in Joisey.
DIGGSDOWN!
what is this, October?
What the fuck are the Ravens wearing? Did someone rob their real trousers?
Well, wouldn’t be first first time a Raven ditched white trousers.
What the hell?
http://d2s3dt9f4iyeup.cloudfront.net/images/standard_v1/83f68770-e4d0-4450-bf97-76e7c0d0aad5.jpg
http://49.media.tumblr.com/ad1157fad21f46e6cd32890a805b3324/tumblr_na35bmIW8q1r3qv9to1_400.gif
SOON…..
Dear Fucking Red Zone,
The best thing about you is that you are NAWT the goddamned P*ts/Titans shitshow that CBS is showing to, like, the entire country. PLEASE stop compounding the agony.
Yours in Christ,
Hippo
Come watch my derp fest :Db
I totes picked you to win in he DFO contest!!
Ha thanks!
WTF are the Ravens wearing?
A look of resignation?
A persistent and growing stink of derp.
If I was a superhero (and I might be-you don’t know my life) my sidekick would be saying, “Your chores are done, Scotchman? OFF TO THE LIQUORCAVE! AND DON’T FORGET YOUR PYJAMAS!”
http://40.media.tumblr.com/bd9fa35ea9587eeeaeb33283eff1b6bf/tumblr_nzk6ariR7f1uhyibpo1_500.jpg
“Your chores aren’t done, Scotchman? Quick, to hide out in the Liquorcave!”
My favourite thing about bleak Scandinavian fiction? The spelling of pyjamas.
I also thought of this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfIxMNm7roU
I guess the Redacteds know Dok’s in town this weekend, too!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/b0b31e1d91dae9581230c2a2aced37c2/tumblr_nxfuogY2fw1tbcweeo1_400.gif
She’s top-heavy but not in the way that I like.
Hippo Headphones.
I see the Giants have reached full derp WITHOUT the defense.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/179fde8833681804a7879f1741127432/tumblr_mjguce6u4R1ro8ysbo1_400.gif
Afternoon human beings.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/800edc63749a168a83cc960713729ee2/tumblr_no9eo84Bqx1qm3rsfo1_400.gif
Gojira shimmies quite nicely.
OBJ just taunting Giants fans now
Much better than LBJ taunting Kennedy fans.
Yeah, that was fuckin’ bananas
WELKAH CATCHES THAT BALL 800 TIMES OUT OF 100.
HAI NFL. <3 u bae
HI HIPPO
welcome to our festivities, lovely Miss Pie!
LMAO…I just re-read the last page of last night’s game thread. I realize now that in my excitement over the Kitteh Powah, I misread your Appie getting killt remark. Thought you were referring to tomorrow’s UNC/App roundball, future getting killt.
Which I suppose was probably apparent in my response. LMFAO.
and they scored 3 TDs in like 2 minutes, making said post makes no sense anyway!
C’mon boys. Time to stop fucking around and get your asses in the playoffs.
See you all between games.
SKOL.
hey guys
Hey Sill
sup
eating chips and salsa maybe queso later i am a pig
yo
got a grocery order coming ill figure out later
HAI SILL
HAI PIE
HAIL BLEERGH!
Did Troy Aikman eat someone?
He has the mug of a heavy boozer…. you would too if you had to work with Joe Buck.
We get Trent Green today. This oughta be fun.
“Who?” –Trent Green
OH MY GLOB! ROB RIGGLE IS RAPING THE GRINCH!!!!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/91ae7c9cdb42e3fc7a9b827f62e7651d/tumblr_nz4sa3VS681s6u7eho1_1280.png
MEN: Matt Ryan or Tyrod Taylor?
I’d like to see his Ty-rod… mmmmm.
http://www.tierodcity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/tie_rod.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/318b8774c949301c3b2ce6a7eabe4e1f/tumblr_nz573eELLT1snghrzo1_1280.jpg
Bikinis and horses are a solid foundation for a successful vacation.
http://ero-top.com/uploads/posts/2012-09/1347064618_photo_ero-top.com_19.jpg
Why is Jim Rome still a thing?
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_k-bigpic/17n9afr8itbyzpng.png
Unfortunately.
I wish “Chrissy” Everet would had just killed him and aquitted on a technicality.
Everett should have a bronze bust in the HOF for that alone.
The crazy red head sent me a Christmas present of olive oil with garlic and chardonnay another extra virgin olive oil with black truffles and a grey finishing salt with black truffles.
She knows me well.
Think we’ll be having some crepes this evening.
Sounds like you’ll be having more than crepes.
Cripes! Crepes?
Pride Day in Buffalo you say?
http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2012/06/IMG_8107.jpg
Well all right!
I’m Grand Marshal of it! Not to mention, in keeping in tune with Buffalo, those women smell like a Superfund site!
Kenny Stabler is probably my favourite non-Ray Guy Raider. Looking forward to that “A Football Life.” They’ve been subpar of late.
Speaking of Pride, you’ve gotta be REALLY dedicated to go with assless chaps in WNY in December ,, smgdh
I’m distressed that the best college basketball game in the early window (read: diversion from yet another Rat Bird home embarrassment) is Pitt/Davidson. And it’s too cold to play golf.
Mass consumption is, once again, the best answer. I am Jack’s raging bile duct.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51V5zP1McGL._SY300_.jpg
There is no reason for me to buy a plasma cutter. In fact, it would be a very dangerous thing to own, living in a condo with no dedicated, fire-proof work space as I do.
What is this plasma cutter you speak of and why don’t I own one?
Dude, plasma cutters are awesome. They use a stream of hot plasma to melt through metal like butter. The only problem is, you need a really steady hand otherwise you make really messy, wavy lines. Industrial plasma cutters are usually robot controlled.
?h=318&w=288&hash=E0F9A714DF162D6BF037684417244B99399C6BB7
Always looking for new toys to go with my favorite saying: “Hold my beer and watch this….”
You know it’s a good party when everyone has to wear welding masks.
as much as we all drink and/or do drugs…
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
/fire department door flies open
Is “it’s a plasma cutter” a reason?
What did I just watch on the NFL Network.
Did we get an early 1970s Peter Gabriel-led Genesis reference? Awwww yeaaaaaahhhh!
Groucho Olbermann approves
http://www.adweek.com/tvnewser/files/original/keith-classic-5_11.jpg?red=tn
I owe you this
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/02/17/article-2561080-0F516F5900000578-171_634x447.jpg
Going to watch the actual episode. I have hours
I watched that episode with my then pre-teen daughter.
Wasn’t awkward at all.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/0510d8fe7e6f2d2ae08e49dbe1df6d1b/tumblr_mgki2xmipr1s26vkmo4_250.gif
I may be watching Sherlock… no I am. Pic
My question-
Hilton vs. Hou
or
Hurns vs. Atl
I say play Hurns. The Falcons are a dumpster fire.
It’s all on you, Balls.
/I was leaning that way, Bortles in en fuego
I’ll shoulder the load with Balls, (wait, what?) and say go with Hurns. Atlanta’s already making off-season vacation plans.