I drove into my downtown office this morning, and even though I don’t live in a REAL city…twas quickly reminded of how much I despise humanity and the bullshit social obligation-fest that is New Year’s Eve.

What am I gonna do tonight? Stay home and watch fucking football. Otherwise, I would deliberately go to bed before midnight. Because fuck your societal mores.

Peach Bowl – Houston vs. Florida State (Noon, ESPN)

They brought back the “peach” element to the corporatization at least, thank fuck. I woulda called it “Peach Bowl” anyway, but still. True story, my ex-mother-in-law ALWAYS called it “Chick-a-fil.” Truly disturbing. Anyway, there are some that believe YOOOOOUSTON is a good footbaw team, and will stay with Florida State. I am not one of them, even though I don’t believe the Noles are any great shakes themselves.

Semifinal #1 – Oklahoma v. Clemson (4:00, ESPN)

Fuck your branding, it’s not a bowl anymore, it’s the goddamned national semifinal. Also, the ESPN Deportes feed will be live on ESPN2 (for both semis), methinks I will pill up and watch as much of that as my brain can process. Viva! First team to 60 wins this one. Psst, it’ll be Boomer Sooner, not Coach Jeebus Camp’s crew.

Semifinal #2 – Alabama v. Michigan State (8:00, ESPN)

The scowling mofo pictured above is the good guy in today’s action, by a longshot. And there is absolutely, positively no change in hell the rankings weren’t manipulated to make sure Satan….ummmm, I mean Saban faced his old team. A marked contrast from the first game, if anyone hits 20 it will be a mild shock. But if anyone does, it will be Roll Damn Tide and we will all has the sads.