GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:
-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.
-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.
-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.
-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.
-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.
-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.
Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!
2 min warning
http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/1118730/693full-yvonne-strahovski.jpg
You are a good man.
Nay, a GREAT man.
Just using me for a greencard. 2/10 would not bang.
Welp.
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/09/Alchohol-Booze-Dr-Evil-Drink-Drinking-One-for-me-Selfish-Shots-GIF.gif?gs=a
Shit.
The only thing worse than a dead baby is a live baby that throws up all over you at 2am.
New Orleans would like a word with you.
Totally wrong reply there.
Okay, my attention has shifted. No more dead baby jokes. I HATE YOUR SUBTLY GLITTERY HELMETS GB.
They look like a kids bike seat
Is there a Director of Turf Science working to ensure Fed Ex Field always has the weirdest, worst looking surface imaginable?
It’s a biological weapons lab for the CIA and UMD
They water it with Gatorade because of this documentary that Snyder saw called “Idiocracy”.
All sorts of yes is happening in my mouth right now.
http://winecentersnj.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/263470.jpg
This is a favorite at the Recovery Whiskey bar. Good choice
Lucky man.
This is my jealous face
What’s worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What’s worse than a pile of dead babies?
One in the middle is still alive. And he’s eating his way out.
My people call him “Conan.”
:/ not a Cimmeraen.
Sumerian 🙁
WRONG. Read your Robert E Howard.
I always assumed they were referencing back to Sumeria. Apparently, there were also Cimmerians who pronounced it with a hard K sound.
*Cimmeraen; ancient tribe that did a lot of cooking with cinnamon and invented the cinnamon bun.
What’s different between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
I can unload the dead babies with a pitchfork.
This could be a Factory promotion next season.
I may have to break out my stash of “guys with no arms and legs” jokes.
It’s 11-10. This game would be over except you have to win by 2.
McNabb: You mean football is like Ping Pong?
Barry Barra:
http://youtu.be/7kSh4Hp3DXc
The best thing about not having a dog un the fight is watching the glorious anarchy and chaos brought on by BLEERGH and not having to Sacrifice my sanity in the name of derp
http://49.media.tumblr.com/78d2f40b0843910cd752ffafe1ed6579/tumblr_nysi06PvE41qg0u4go3_500.gif
Or http://imgur.com/gallery/4rxQC
http://56.media.tumblr.com/00037df8d22af78962e36711d6966a98/tumblr_mx02vkfk721qa6z3eo2_540.png
So did the Packers start playing OK or did the Slurs start derping?
Both
I’m going to tell dead baby jokes and open another bottle of cava.
What’s the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
I dunno, what?
You can only unload one with a pitchfork.
Can’t unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
I don’t know Doc. What’s the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
I loved the 80’s when the NFC Championship game was the real title game and the Super Bowl was just watching the Broncos get their shit pushed in.
“Tell me more about these Broncos,” A.R., Green Bay
How is a close playoff game this boring?
You aren’t drunk enough.
I recommend drinking.
/considers going back to liquor store to buy four-pack of Backwoods Bastard
I really am drunk enough. I drank a shit ton of whiskey
Second half is gonna be a pic spam, sneaking out of a cig, send me theme requests if you want or it will just be based on whatever show I think of first
I vote for Yvonne from Chuck.
Like a puppy in a microwave, this game is really heating up.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/b68e82f7ee1268ebb9f0d2749ac77088/tumblr_nyfzy0DBdw1qjnhqgo1_500.jpg
Bryan Christ is an asshole
I don’t think he does it on purpose; it’s just so close.
So he just puts water in the refrigerator?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vys3y6EvFpY
That exact line is in that song. Who ripped off who?
He didn’t have a picture of Craig, so to give his friend shit he used Bryan’s photo.
i bet he doesn’t like salt on his pretzels….
I liked his work in Lynyrd Skynyrd.
WAS does still have a lead….but I’m pretty sure they’re fucked. I know how this sort of thing works. DO BETTER YOU GLORIOUS ASSHOLES!!
Things got testy in Chatsworth last Tuesday…
Doktor Zymm: Master of Motivation
You should see my brochure…and speaking fees!
Well, this is clearly the most watchable post-season game thus far.
Jay Gruden angers me. He’s not a good coach and his stupid face always has a stupid look whenever his team does something stupid.
…………you……………….seem…………. bitter………
He has resting stupid face.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/8b229e2ab09785a69805172a73ce8e1c/tumblr_nxxcsnEdw91r9qk1io1_1280.png
Hello old friend.
http://www.vikingsfanshop.com/images/products/1187_large.jpg
That cup fails to pour liquid in your mouth from more than 3″ away.
I WILL POUR MOAR
da cheeesssee burgaaaaa
I promise OSZ is alive. I saw him in person. He talked and moved his limbs. I did not murder him.
That’s exactly what a murderer WOULD say!
Someone is setting up his alibi
MY NAMESAKE!
/drinks
I miss the first 10 minutes of this game.
I have vague memories of near-sobriety, too.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/0b1bb01be7b6989232fe953012819099/tumblr_nxx1skIBHU1r38eolo1_1280.jpg
Can I get that as a vegan option?
Andy Reid’s heart.
I want to go to there.
LA Times Travel section had a whole thing on your neck of the woods today!
Oh cool! I know Adelaide was in the NYT 50 places to go in 2016 or something. I guess I made it cool. *drops shades*
Yup!
Andy Reid is having a busy fucking day, flying to Minny then DC to totally fuck up clock management.
Those timeouts aren’t going to waste themselves
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/William-Shatner-Slapping-Himself.gif
Smashing Pumpkins, Drown, God DAMN this is good shit
Pumpkinhead had his moments
Still in your own territory is never “outstanding” field position.
The [*Redacted] s: Slump-Busters.
YOU’RE FROM UTAH? THERE BEST BE A GREAT SALT LAKE OF YOUR TEARS REGRETTING THAT FUCK UP.
I realize no one is from Utah. Just…great salt lake…
That city smells like ass
I plan to introduce my sister to DFO forthe Superbbowl. I think she will be will very confused/offended.
I promise I will not get wasted and post a million pics because the game is shit. The previous sentence is a blatant lie, but I will be nice.
Is she the type that gets offended easily by tits or gtfo, or sharpie in pooper?
You should hear some of the questions I’ve gotten regarding my Boltman illustrations. People are so lost.
That’s our specialty.
but confused/offended in a good way?
I think you guys and gals are cool. It’s the incest jokes that I make that will cause issues, onlybcause she’s much better looking than me.
FUCK YOU KIRK YOU FUMBLEFINGERED FUCKUP
http://45.media.tumblr.com/c3dd0292e7c2ef0d1697cf04cdb7e175/tumblr_nx5sv5IMEK1r7umdeo3_400.gif
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
http://45.media.tumblr.com/4c8fe63f4f12f835dd7368ad8c531fa5/tumblr_nx5sv5IMEK1r7umdeo1_400.gif
The church’s money is on the ground.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY CAN’T I THINK OF A BETTER CURSE WORD THAN FUCK. ASSHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Because there is no better curse word than fuck.
Shit is a distant second and cumbubble barely enters the equation.
It should. I have a new week resolution…work “cumbubble” into as many conversations as possible.
Bad Kirk!
Yeah! Thompson! He’s actually kinda a little guy, relatively speaking. It’s weird seeing football players in person, there’s a YUUUUUUGE size discrepancy between the big uns and the little uns.
One day, the Packers D won’t be terrible.
I’ve been saying that to my dates for years.
SLAINTE my people!
Cheeseheads vs Government Cheeseheads
GARCON! MORE BOOZE ALL AROUND!
Is WAS really good at running the ball?
Garcon means boy.
I have poured shots. Who is joining me?
BOOM
I’m in! #WildTurkey #BadIdeaJeans
http://common-sense.blogspot.com/homerpoint.jpg This guy
Hiya!
me too. A shot of jack is what ive got.
Already took one but if everyone is in I will join
fumble!!! everyone does a shot!!!
Sticking with the Maker’s 46.
SHOTTTSSS!!!!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/4f0a2d885b7a719b2aa82eabe91f6bc5/tumblr_nx2ns4711c1uge9dxo1_500.png
I quote that more than you might think.
an old man once told me that the FedEx Field is built on top of an old Indian Burial ground. really?
That’s Miami.
http://deadspin.com/the-dolphins-stadium-is-literally-built-on-an-indian-bu-1638547584
Only metaphorically.
Everything in America is.
Dan Snyder charges the tribes rental for the plots – there’s money to be made, you know
My fancy LED lights are set in Skins colors. It’s dumb, but I like it.
I like that you like this.
I like that you like that she likes that.
YOU LIKE THAT! I LIKE THAT! HE LIKE THAT! SHE LIKE THAT! ALL LIKE THAT!
whooooooooo I’m home! Time for scotch!
okay guys i’m going to do an impression, see if you can guess who:
♩ losing feeling ♩ in my neck ♩
♩ Holy shit does ♩ my foot hurt ♩
Ashley?
LaDainien Tomlinson
/bikebikebikebikebike
My grandma or Peyton Manning. How do you know my grandma?
HGH I* love you so
*My wife, not me. Why would an ancient, broken down professional athlete need HGH? That stuff is for millionaire housewives.
Al Del Greco?
Hah! You can’t get the ball to stay on the tee! *spite spite spite*