Reporter: “The stakes are pretty high here, aren’t they?”
Coach Reid: [rolls eyes] “Of course they are-three quarters of an inch at the very least!. [enters trance, talks in monotone] And the twice-baked potato must have bacon in it. The salad must have bacon. The roasted asparagus must have bacon. [emerges from reverie] Mmmmm. Uh, next question?”
Oh, there’s a game with Reid coaching and you thought you might get through the intro without a food reference? Really? Okay, Gronk is questionable. Pats fans shout in unison, THE ONLY THING QUESTIONABLE IS YOUR DESIRE! ALL HAIL SAT-, WE MEAN BELICHICK. APOLOGIES, WE MAKE THAT MISTAKE MORE OFTEN THAN WE’D LIKE TO ADMIT. I’m sure that Gronk’s new “personal assistant” is going to whip him up some sort of special milkshake with extra warthog ovaries that will enable him to play. How important is it for Brady that his fave TE plays? His QBR rating drops from 80 down to 31 without him. The Chiefs front can and must get pressure on the Pats QB-Brady’s O-line has given up 38(!) sacks this year. Speaking of questionable, WR Maclin and his high ankle sprain made the trip but he’s iffy-there’s only so much warthog parts to go around. He and TE Kelce combined for 49% of all pass targets this year. Yet Another Injury Note: WR Antonio Brown has been ruled out of this game as well as tomorrow’s tilt against Denver. KC’s O looks to be on QB Smith’s shoulders but he seems to up to the task. Since the winning streak started he’s passing downfield a bit more, has rushed for more first downs than RB West and six out of ten times his QB rating has been above 100. Perhaps this weird Chiefs mojo will continue-wouldn’t that be great?
It’s a two yard penalty. Totes worth it.
Even when they do get whacked with a PF it’s on the goddamn 5 yard line.
I’d be cool with a Dreamboat safety.
Here’s your reminder that the Patriots are dirty filthy cheaters.
Mike Carey here to muddy things up.
What the fuck that’s a dirty as shit hit
and it still saves them 6 yards
“I knew I should have kicked the field goal on first down!”
–Andy Reid–
THAT WAS NAWT FACKIN DIRTY! WHAT ABOUT ALL THE BLACK ON BLACK HITS IN CHICAWGO?!
CHIPPINESS!
Diablo 3 it is.
The Alex Smith deep pass, rivaled only by the Peyton Manning designed run in the “What the fuck are you doing?” offensive book.
I am recalling why I avoid watching Cheifs games. That shade of red hurts my eyes
Andy Reid is up to the challenge of ending this drive outside of FG range.
Every time Brady misses a pass I expect a yellow thingy to be thrown on the field. Deep down I might be a Pats fan…
/help
Does Reid go for the field goal now, or does he eat some Ribs before he sends the special team out?
I’m excited to see just how inventively this drive can end in another punt from the Patriot 40.
If the Chiefs settle for a FG here, I may have to fire Diablo 3
This makes the next FG drive all the quicker!
Based upon the Chiefs performance, I’m allowed to move inside the house. So far, the most comfy I’ve been has been allowed to sit on the ottoman by the door. Poor ottoman.
Otherwise I’m on the patio. I’m like the wet, cold, stray dog that the kids love, but the wife is totally not happy with having around.
As long as you don’t scratch your butt on the carpet.
Too late
If you have a better solution for dealing with inflamed anal glands, I’d *love* to hear it.
A Patriot 3 and out? Mark your calendars
THIS NEW BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN MOVIE I CALL IT PULP FICTION 2 , ‘CAUSE BATMAN IS A FUCKING GIMP
Are the Pats waiting for the Chiefs to catch up? Cause I’m cool with that.
God, I’d LOVE to just beat the everloving fuck out of that fucktacular shitweasel.
^Sill doing a remarkable imitation of me watching a GOP debate.
Never forget Matthew…
You can do all the Chrysler high end car commercials you want…but never forget you were in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie…
“Michael Bay’s best movie” is not exactly a ringing endorsement.
“Chernobyl’s best reactor”
http://chimichangatalk.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/wpid-michael-bay-explosions.jpeg
You know that facility was running for years AFTER the Chernobyl disaster?
Hitler’s nicest political speech.
“Donald Trump’s most tolerant, informed statement.”
Conglomerated Airship GmbH’s best zeppelin:
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1072679!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/gallery_1200/hindenburg-explodes.jpg
Good afternoon gentlemen, I see Andy Reid is already employing a bold gameplan.
What feeling, exactly, is supposed to stay with me when I drive a Cadillac?
The erection your viagra enabled
1. Hey, I’m a street pimp from 1975
2. Hey, I’m a Korean War vet in plaid pants and white shoes.
So, will this be in the first Bats vs Supes movie or the second when they have to get their groove back?
all the intensity of a 4th pre-season game
Good time for a sack, forced fumble recovered for a touchdown, cleat TB12’s groin on the way to the end zone series.
SECONDED
IN FAVOR
This game sucks like a pre-sex change tranny hooker.
Enthusiastically?
And voluminously.
In James Earl Jones voice: You like the way I suck, baby?
Refs are starting to ref…..
They finished their pre-game snack
http://i.imgur.com/UugK7Lv.gifv
y?
q!
Andy Reid employing the field-goals-to-victory strategy.
It worked so well for Minnesota!
Running the ball is such a novel concept
KC just might bore and FG them to death
That’s the first time I’ve heard a black WR described as being “deceptively fast”.
That’s like being “obviously athletic.”
I’m calling it now: 9 months after March 25th weekend, there will be a tsunami of babies born from nerd parents because every female Wonder Woman fan having frothing loins after seeing Wonder Woman kick ass.
Lots o’ Christmas kids?
But the economy can’t take that many Xmas babies! They need birthday presents AND holiday presents dammit!
I’ll CBS credit, they know how to use modern technology and trends in plots to scare the shit out of ignorant Boomers.
Fox News has been doing that for 20 years.
At least CBS admits it makes fiction.
That Batman/Superman movie looks like homoerotic fan fiction.
OH GOOD HACK SNYDER IS HERE TO RUIN ANOTHER SUPERHERO FRANCHISE
/doesn’t really care
//300 might be even worse than Attack Of The Clones
300 worse than Attack of the Clones? Don’t be such a homophobe, Sill. I think it’s impressive that a homoerotic film was able to get released in the theater and did well with the mainstream.
/Frank Miller dies
It’s not homophobia, its cinemalactaverophobia.
Dawn of the Dead was surprisingly good.
/still doesn’t understand the 300 appeal
Same here. Dawn worked, didn’t try to rip off the (superior) original, but told it’s own story.
300 was just…bad.
Blind squirrels, nuts, &tc…
Edelman showing off his rave dance moves with that drop
Whelp, that was KC’s one chance
/decides to a contrarian ass
Babies are delightful and I love their new human smell.
Babies are OK. But toddlers suck.
You love the smell of poo?
I LOVE THAT FRESH POO SMELL
Children below the age of 10 should be shipped off to Madagascar.
I think it’s the tweens and teenagers that should go to the workhouse until at least 18.
Nah, they’re fun.
You can talk and play games with them then give them back to their parents when they get all surly.
So I just woke up in a bathtub full of ice and I’m covered in stitches. What did I miss (am I mising)?
A liver?
Kidney.
Dignity
just don’t go to the doctor, no diagnosis = you’re fine!!
So I guess they aren’t calling holding or chip blocks today
They gave up on that last week, why start again now?
Brady and a few other QBs are immune to having their O-line get called for that kind of stuff.
Babies are ugly, stupid, and worthless.
I’m liking this thread divergence.
As an Uncle with a month old niece and an 18 month old nephew I consider this sacrilege.
But I used to understand.
I’ve had those.
I remain steadfast.
Respect the opinion, but I love the idea of shakinbg a can of soda all day, then handing it to my sister to open at the end of the day.
Babies are not cute.
/note to self…Dok Zymm might be perfect woman
Do any of us really care the Rams moved to LA? The owner is a dick and tried to fuck over St. Louis and all that but whatever.
I see fucking over St. Louis as a virtue.
I do because it finally turned me completely away from Arsenal.
I can’t support a team owned by that fucktard.
not really. helps fix the NFC West back to all in one time zone. Except Arizona when they’re being freedom loving muricans without daylight savings’ time.
It gets hot, dammit. Dark early = good.
I too found the geographic anomaly of St. Louis in a division of western team to be annoying.
Not as bad as Atlanta being in the west.
/Beisbol fanned
It hurt DTZM. And he lets us play in this here clubhouse.
I’ve had Pats fans tell me they wouldn’t take a kid to Foxboro before. That place is filled with assholes.
It IS in New England…
No one denies this!
Bet it still doesn’t have anything on the hive of scum and villainy known as Veterans Stadium.
It’s really odd, I actually really like people from Philadelphia when they aren’t being sports fans. Stick a game in front of em and that shit happens.