Your [gets down on knees] “Please Chiefs, Just This Once!” Playoff Game Open Thread

Reporter: “The stakes are pretty high here, aren’t they?”

Coach Reid: [rolls eyes] “Of course they are-three quarters of an inch at the very least!. [enters trance, talks in monotone] And the twice-baked potato must have bacon in it. The salad must have bacon. The roasted asparagus must have bacon. [emerges from reverie] Mmmmm. Uh, next question?”

Oh, there’s a game with Reid coaching and you thought you might get through the intro without a food reference? Really? Okay, Gronk is questionable. Pats fans shout in unison, THE ONLY THING QUESTIONABLE IS YOUR DESIRE! ALL HAIL SAT-, WE MEAN BELICHICK. APOLOGIES, WE MAKE THAT MISTAKE MORE OFTEN THAN WE’D LIKE TO ADMIT. I’m sure that Gronk’s new “personal assistant” is going to whip him up some sort of special milkshake with extra warthog ovaries that will enable him to play. How important is it for Brady that his fave TE plays? His QBR rating drops from 80 down to 31 without him. The Chiefs front can and must get pressure on the Pats QB-Brady’s O-line has given up 38(!) sacks this year. Speaking of questionable, WR Maclin and his high ankle sprain made the trip but he’s iffy-there’s only so much warthog parts to go around. He and TE Kelce combined for 49% of all pass targets this year. Yet Another Injury Note: WR Antonio Brown has been ruled out of this game as well as tomorrow’s tilt against Denver. KC’s O looks to be on QB Smith’s shoulders but he seems to up to the task. Since the winning streak started he’s passing downfield a bit more, has rushed for more first downs than RB West and six out of ten times his QB rating has been above 100. Perhaps this weird Chiefs mojo will continue-wouldn’t that be great?

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Horatio Cornblower

Jason Avant, not even in Sill’s Insanity League.

Sill Bimmons

EX-EAGLE RECEIVERS WOO

Sill Bimmons

Why is Big Bang Theory?

Doktor Zymm

For my mental health, I went back to playing Civ 5. I’ll check back in third quarterish, or in a couple beers.

Kungjitsu

I wanna get get high on PCP laced weed with Peyton Manning (and his AMEX Black Card)

King Hippo

thing is, he’d probably do it if you signed a non-disclosure agreement. he’s kind of weird

Kungjitsu

I’d do that! And I’d honor that bitch. What happens in Vegas and Denver and Dubai and Singapore stays in Vegas and Denver and Dubai and Singapore.

That Papa John’s dude couldn’t hang, though. I’d have to whip his ass.

...

Papa John seems like an obnoxious buzz kill.

Doktor Zymm

Is there HGH in that PCP?

...

The way this game is trending, I might end up cracking open my stash of extra boozy stouts just to deal with my rage.

makeitsnowondem

How the hell did the Pats know to prepare for the Chiefs throwing deep? That’s practically a trick play.

Smithchez

“These are all offensive linemen, except for that one guy who’s a tight end.”

Doktor Zymm

Duck, duck, duck, duck….GOOSE

The Maestro

Gentlemen, I am home at last after 4 hours of driving today, there’s a beer in my hand, steaks thawing on the counter, but most importantly of all, the Patriots are winning.

I am in my happy place right now.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re OK but go fuck yourself.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

May your steaks be better than the Patriots’ 2nd half performance.

Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

*raises beer*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

**Adrian Peterson drops beer**

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Looks like the Chiefs are going to have to win this one in the air. Good thing they have…oh shit.

Kungjitsu

The Chefs are going to lose this game 42-3 and Alex Smith is going to throw a 4 yard checkdown on the last play of the game.

Horatio Cornblower

/Gets back from gym
//turns on TV
///sees score

Welp, looks like it’s you and me tonight gasoline cocktail.

Sill Bimmons

Zippo fluid is more expensive, but I think it just tastes better!

King Hippo

I mean, those of you that PLAYED…how much would you just blood HATE a cocksucker like Brady? Running his goddamned mouth like a baby after every play?

Sill Bimmons

I’d have been snapping the ball to that fucker.

PUNCH PUNCH KICK KICK STAB STAB

blackroseMD1

Annoys the piss out of me.

Rivers does similar and he get branded a crybaby. Brady does it, and he’s the savior of the damn shield.

KC should have signed Bernard Pollard before this game.

King Hippo

His senior year, they asked one of the NC State DBs who the worst trash talker in the league was, and he said “Philip Rivers”

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, I’d have a coffee with Rihanna.

Smithchez

Well so far Andy Reid’s “when in doubt, punt” strategy is working out just swimmingly.

King Hippo

I seriously think they will spend the rest of the game spearing that motherfucker.

Kungjitsu

What Would Vontaze Burfict Do?

#WWVBD

JustStopDude

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Smithchez

I will never get tired of Pereira and Carey disagreeing with nearly every single call the officials make regardless of outcome.

fleshwound_NPG

Peacing out.

...

The fact Mike Carey thinks that’s a touchdown ensures that it’s not.

Sill Bimmons

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

GAME CHANGER WOO

FUCK YOU CAREY YOU DOOSH

Kungjitsu

Fuck you Chefs! You chicken shit pussy bitches.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I hate Chefs, too! With their stupid white hats and precious kitchens!

Sill Bimmons

Starting to seriously lose my Brady hate self-control.

Things are going to get broken around here, I think.

Brocky

Fuck sportsmanship. I was hoping brady got concussed

Wakezilla

Based on last week’s ruling, there’s no way Brady was in.

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Japanimal

Finish HIM!!!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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...

That is not a motherfucking touchdown not fucking now and not fucking ever.

Moonbatting Average

Thank goodness they didn’t show McDaniels long enough for me to get up and punch my tv

ThePirateSloth

Welp, it was a good try KC.

Kungjitsu

Stephen Jackson, he’s still in the league?

Sill Bimmons

Eh, sort of.

Wakezilla

That’s what I was thinking.

Brocky

Nearly intercepting brady, foul

Sill Bimmons

HATE EVERYTHING FUCK YOU IF THAT HAD BEEN RAPEY BEN THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A PENALTY ON THE STILLERS

WCS

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Sill Bimmons

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Wakezilla

NO way they don’t call roughing the passer

Wakezilla

Yup

So glad pass defense has been legislatively gelded you guys.

Sill Bimmons

Gelded?

It doesn’t have legs anymore, let alone balls.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I like Edelman better when he’s concussed and passed out in a stranger’s bed.

Wakezilla

On Andy Reid: “To be honest I just wanted to bang his mom”

Grumblelord

Wakezilla

No Dan Foutes, you did not know where the ball was going. Don’t lie

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, holding penalty in the end zone!

King Hippo

oh, it WAS a spot foul. GOOD

Brocky

…so what are the odds that the Patriots new a personal foul on that play could possibly only cost them two yards?

Kungjitsu

Brotein Shake is funny.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s not a Michael J Fox joke?

...

And with just the right amount of ambiguous homosexuality.

WCS

Still think this is Michael Bay’s best movie:

John Difool

Damn good.

blackroseMD1

Ah, that good ol’ Patriot Way shining through.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

They actually called that on New England? THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

2.5 yard penalty. Resume normalcy.

JustStopDude

WHat?!?! BULLSHIT CALL!!!

http://i.imgur.com/TDb2gMO.gifv

Point to the penalty! YOU CAN’T NO ONE DENIES THIS!

WCS

NAAAWWWTTTT FFAAAAHHHHHHHHH

John Difool

A flag on the Patriots? Human sacrifice, Dogs and cats living together – MASS HYSTERIA