After watching Arizony blurp their way to victory yesterday I’m saying that the winner of this game is the NFC champ. It looks like RB Lynch is back on the field today. The usual fart-makers that must talk about things are wondering if he’ll be ‘ready’. Hmm, do you think that a Pro Bowl back with fresh legs might possibly be an upgrade over something called a, and I quote, “Christine Michael”? I do. Just looking at the both of these teams I must say, THERE’S A SHIT-TON OF TALENT HERE. DO YOU HEAR THAT JERRY REESE? IT CAN’T BE THAT HARD TO DRAFT WELL. [upends table that has nothing on it] Sorry. Where was I? Right. You’d think that mega-CB Norman would be matched up against WR Baldwin (he of the 13 TD’s in the last 9 games) but the former is a baby that only rarely plays the slot receiver. (don’t tell him I typed that) Speaking of tough assignments S Chancellor gets to be roasted on a spit with an apple in his mouth by TE Olsen. “Fat Chance” is great in run support but if Seattle wants to blitz he’s gonna be on an island that features quite a few balls whizzing overhead. CB Sherman does follow the opposing #1 WR all over the field and that spells bad news for Ted Ginn. Years from now when you hear the phrase “a rising tide lifts all shitty receivers to career years” you’ll think of the Ginner and have yourself a nice martini. (may apply to myself only). One guy that might be under your radar is Kawaan Short. The Seahawks have struggled against dominant DT’s (just like everyone else, duh) like Donald (Rams) and Atkins (Bengals) and short led the league at his position with 11 sacks and 16 tackles for a loss. The man tasked with going after QB Newton has sacked him 7 times in 4 games-OLB Irvin it’s time to do what you do. HAVE AT IT YOU RAPSCALLIONS!
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I mean, Cam Newton is Christian, too. He’s just not crazy enough to believe that God controls the outcome of fucking football games or that grown men in their mid-late 20s should be celibate.
So he’s Aaron Hernandez Christian?
Is he christian? I thought he was built by the liberal Jews that control the media in order to destroy the shield and keep control? Think about it.
http://www.redicecreations.com/ul_img/30540dd395-Sheeple%2021-site.jpg
More like Seahawks genocide, amirite?
The Jews want more Muslims? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
On the plus side, no one will rip on Carroll for the clock management at the end of the half.
BECAUSE HIS TEAM GOT BLOWN OUT OF THIS GAME BEFORE THE TWO MINUTE WARNING IN THE FIRST HALF!
I think it’s really weird that Pete Carroll made a coaching error.
What’s greater for PirateSloth, Beastmode, et al: the level of suffering or the degree of drunk?
Yes.
Drunkenness
Tried to start drinking, but my lovely wife stopped me. Something about it not being noon yet.
Wimmens, amirite???
DAMN THEIR SENSIBILITY AND CONCERNS FOR YOUR HEALTH!
“So excited to see The X-Files returning to t.v., best reality show ever….”
-Pete Carroll
Because Michael Jordan is in the house:
He definitely has money on this game.
Lynch is going to be so awesome in Oakland next year.
Which will make it all the more of a shame that the Raiders will be in San Antonio.
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It’s cute how terrified they are of losing their surrogate penises.
Of all the stupid things they say, this is BY FAR the stupidest.
It’s one of those ideas where the longer you think about it, the more stupid you realize it is.
So it’s safe to say that Rivera was the real genius behind the 05-06 Bears defense?
wut
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fio5msQcPIs/UPJB-wKa-HI/AAAAAAAAALs/HceF9qJH8T4/s1600/genius.png
Still time for another Charmception!
http://server2.trutube.tv/files/photos/1365044779b1c835_l.jpg
Is it bad I wanted them to fake the punt here?
Noop
Good news is that ARI has an extra couple hours to game plan.
WOOOO DEFENSIVE STOP!!!! GAME CHANGER WOOOOO
:Next play:
“These guys are fired up but you gotta make sure you don’t run into the punter the way Sherman did there.”
http://briard.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a6399ca9970c01761576a264970c-pi
so panthers beat pats at the superbowl. whats pk gonna say?
“Who forgot to pay off the refs?”
He’ll call on Congress to void the results of the game to protect the integrity of the game.
“Brett, you’re gonna make me cum.”
I can see I’m the only one who still thinks Doug Baldwin’s self-assigned nicknames are hilarious.
http://www.tadgp.com/images/daviddeesbillgates.jpg
holy shit
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/sb3hn4.gif
http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com/Anti-Vaccine_Body_Count/Home.html
So how early in the 3rd quarter will they put in horse balls and let Cam start taking selfies on the sideline?
He’s probably trying to fly in Mettenberger for the 4th quarter to join in the fun.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Brr brr drr drrrr!
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Remember when the Rams beat SEA and the experts were like, “I SAID SEATTLE WAS RED HOT THEN AND LOSING TO A BAD TEAM DOESN’T CHANGE THAT!”?
This is easily Russell’s most charming game.
Fun fact: nobody knows Roman Harper’s true first name; they just chose to name him after the era he was born in.
This is a commentary on his first game as a pro:
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How Alex Smith was that throw?
More Alex Jones than Alex Smith AMIRITE
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I’m pretty sure that this is what watching a snuff film feels like.
of Donald Trump? OK, maybe not that good, but good.
Maybe Carolina can beat the 73-0 NFL record for biggest blowout!
The Redacteds own that one, right?
/I was a sports almanac NERRRRRDDDDD as a young’un
They lost it actually, the Bears won it. 1940.
DAMN YOU DRUGS AND OLD AGE BLURRING EVERYTHING TOGETHER
Nah, you can’t be blamed for forgetting that the Bears could score points at some time in history. It’s not logical.
The Skins did win the highest combined scoring game of all time, 72-41 over the Giants in 1966.
They should rerun THAT on NFLN sometime. Good teevee
SHUT UP NERDS!!!!!
I would totally watch that.
Seattle’s Plane is already warmed up and on tarmac…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1309475/plane-crash-2-o.gif
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Tough, Doug
OK, spotted CAR 31 points…time to turn on the jets.
/pointless optimism
Oh well…
I’ll let you have the optimism.
Sorry man, but I’m enjoying this. Mainly because of the truther and the god whisperer.
Also the Broncos sooperbowl losses come to mind.
Jeebus just likes Cam better.
Actually, Troy [vomits into Troy’s lap]
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/2154422/george-hw-vomit-o.gif
GO FOR IT YOU’RE ALREADY DOWN 31.
Remember when SEA signed Fred Jackson and people were like “WHHAAAAATTTT?”
Maybe he can play QB?
Seahawks are only getting beaten this badly because Russell Okung went out and because they were getting beaten really badly when Russell Okung went out.
You know what this game is lacking? FISH THROWING!!!! We can’t watch a Seattle game without fish throwing.
What about ducks? Wilson’s already thrown a couple of those.
I’M TRYING
— Russell Wilson
No fish in Charlotte.
TOBACKY THROWIN WOO
Naw, CLT has always been banker assholes. Winston-Salem and Durham are the ‘baccy towns. And the despair lands Down East.
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Short game.
Afternoon fellow Kommentists. I just got on break and WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK!?!?
It’s been glorious.
How did this happen?
Lots of good Panthers and bad C-Hox.
Turns out Carolina is really good and Wilson kinda blows. Also the Legion of Boom is totally out of boom.
If the NFL wants to keep selling ad space for my viewership, this game better start racking up the head injuries.
I can only imagine how angry Angry Doug must be right now.
http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f305/Flatu/awww.gif
Why won’t his heart explode?
POP LOCKETT AND DROP IT
Yeah, Troy, but what Russell Wilson thinks about this game is no longer relevant.
“Russell Wilson doesn’t believe this game is over.”
Maybe you should take a look the track record of his beliefs.
I haven’t seen Hox Schadenfreude this good since they made a Superbowl music video three games into the season and then went 8-8.
SB XL.
They STILL won’t shut up about it.
Nearly as bad as baseball Cardinals fans still bitching about the 1985 World Series.