Your “Oh Look, Another Blowout” AFC Semi-Final Open Thread

Although Peyton can’t feel his fingers Ben has one-upped him and doesn’t feel his shoulder, empathy or many other complex emotions. The Broncs starting QB has a gorgeous 9-17 TD/INT ratio that places him right up there with the likes of Vince Young and Pedo Sanchez as the worst fellas to ever start a playoff game. At this point if I was a Denver fan I’d be somewhat comfortable starting the questionable Bark Rottweiler, who did quite well in emergency service. Did I mention that Pitt was “Dead Paul McCartney’ed”? (Pete Carroll’s verb, not mine) They are a very special team in that they don’t have either their leading rusher or receiver available for the game. WR Brown was off the field for only 4% of Steelers plays this year but they scored 6 TD’s on those very same plays. All the Steelers have to do to replicate that success is to be in “and goal” down situations most of the game. EAZY PEEZY! [pulls up a chair for you, looks at you with serious face] We need Denver to win this-they have a much better chance to beat the Pats than does the crippled folks from Pitt. You done well, yinzers but it’s time now to act for the greater good. TYPE AWAY GEAR BOXES!

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Sharkbait

Is this lead:

[ ] Surmountable?

[ ] Insurmountable?

evilbeaver8

“I’ve seen teams come back from this deficit before”
-Dierdorf

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Are they gonna leave Peyton in?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Since he couldn’t go to Foxboro, Ginger Hammer shows up here.

http://i.imgur.com/WkTcQMp.jpg

Sill Bimmons

Hey Rog, who’s the roadbeef?

indieguy

mmm roadbeef

blackroseMD1

– Andy Reid

Sill Bimmons

The F-Series is a fucking phenomenon.

750,000 of those things drive off the lot every year.

blaxabbath

Government buys A LOT of them.

Gratliff

The woman has a crew cab 2012 F-150 because Michigan. She hauls less in it than I do in my Grand Prix. It doesn’t fit in our garage. Mine does. She is dumb.

litre_cola

How banged up is the giraffe from ASU? Peypey is very garbagey.

King Hippo

PeyPey has seemed fine to me, getting zero help. Drops left and right.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stuck in the middle with you….
/sorry…watched Reservoir Dogs last night.

Gratliff

Doesn’t matter. Denver isn’t scoring another point this game.

King Hippo

nah we will FG once more. Final 20-12 or 23-12

Sill Bimmons

How the fuck was that not PI?

Sill Bimmons

60 Minutes.

All the old people’s worst fears in 47 minutes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This isn’t 1990. Unless it is different than every other show, 42 min

Sill Bimmons

It’s 1990 on 60 Minutes.

fleshwound_NPG

bubble screens fucking crack to boss todd

blaxabbath

LOVE Boss Todd.

blaxabbath

Why is it 10-9? Great D’s or offensive, as you all say, ‘DERP’?

litre_cola

Wind, and broken qb’s

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay for big gaping hole.

indieguy

not sure if prolapse gif is appropriate

Sill Bimmons

Damn, Heath sucks today.

King Hippo

it freaks him out that we guard him

King Hippo

wide goddamned open, lather, rinse, repeat. Who needs a functioning shoulder?

King Hippo

FUCK YOUR HONKY-ASS GOLF

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO
Moar opiates for you.

blaxabbath

Finished clearing JUST ONE SIDE OF THE HOUSE. Ended up hauling three pickup truck loads to the alley for bulk pick up. But you’ll never see that make a Ford/Chevy/DickEnlargementSeminar commercial.

King Hippo

NEVAR throw to Bubba Goddamned Caldwell

litre_cola

How ya holdin up Hippo?

King Hippo

very very very very poorly

evilbeaver8

I feel like with one more good draft….Stillers and/or Panthers could dominate the next 5 years.

King Hippo

Panthers and Stillers still trying to stay ahead of salcap jail. Gonna get hard once the good Panthers’ defensive players start getting paid their market value.

blaxabbath

Funny thing is that, after Cam wins the MVP this year and Ted Ginn comes back to Earth and the D starts getting paid, people are going to look back and say, “Cam only won that MVP because of all the weapons he had.”

King Hippo

If they only had a QB, the team that would be loaded for bear long-term to me (without salcap trouble) would seem to be AZ.

blaxabbath

Mahfuckin’ Matt Barkley waiting in the wings!

Gratliff

Nothing says potential like being the odd man out in a trio with Nick Foles and Mark Sanchez!

Wakezilla

PK is already writing that once Cam wins

evilbeaver8

Stillers always seem to straddle the salary cap but have drafted exceptionally well in recent years. I thought the Panthers were finally out of the 50 billion in running back contracts after this season though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooh…interesting flag.

Gratliff

So, which beloved musician dies this week? Paul McCartney? Keith Richards? Roger Waters? Gary Glitter?

Sharkbait

Keith Richards cannot be killed by conventional weapons

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gary Glitter….that made me laugh.
Don’t drop the soap.

Gratliff

Guy was diagnosed with cardiovascular disease 8 years ago. He will not die.

King Hippo

that’s the ballgame if Demaryius is out

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey Julian, you worried about either of these teams?
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-29569-Tom-Brady-high-five-left-hangi-SMmb.gif

/yeah me neither…dick

Spanky Datass

Edelman: “You worried about that haircut bruh?”

Spanky Datass

Just realized if you mash-up Julian’s last name to Ed, el manos you get Ed, the hands in Spanish!

Romonobyl

Cam’s toque has a little mini-fro.

evilbeaver8

Boomer Esiason is trying wayyyyyyy too hard to pass as butch these days.

Romonobyl

My son was a C-Section baby. Now, whenever we leave the house he has to go out the window.

litre_cola

This made me laugh

Moonbatting Average

But how does he enter the house?

Romonobyl

Through a busted Hefty bag.

Brick Meathook

DEFENESTRATION JOKE

Gratliff

I just love randomly scaring people by shouting along every time I hear a few notes from Under Pressure.

bourb0nblues

LET ME OUT!

makeitsnowondem

Never care about football

King Hippo

Great advice that I will never be able to follow. I have never been able to put it in perspective, even. Gets no easier with age, having children, close family members die, etc.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Become a Ravens fan. We’ve been relaxed for like three months now.

Wakezilla

Nah, we’re all Schrödinger’s cat: We love football but fucking despise what the NFL is doing

Wakezilla

At least Anderson had some success running it up the middle at the end

comment image

King Hippo

they always fucking start with Hillman, he sucks ass, then they play CJA and he’s fucking great (now that he’s healthy). DRIVES HIPPO CRAY-CRAY

Romonobyl

Papa John’s is proud to announce the newly released Peyton’s Specialty pizza deal. The Androstenedione is right in the crust!
Available in extra-large only.

King Hippo

Halftime motivational stroke? I VOTE YES, KUBES.

/might have one of my own

The Maestro

And they hit us with Bowie (and Queen) just before the break.

I didn’t get my permission form signed for this feels trip, guys.

tundrajim

Both Peyton and Wade Phillips are listed as probable for the second half.

JustStopDude

comment image

King Hippo

Jeebus, thought the wind took it wide. What a shit performance.

Duchess

“I hate it when they pull out too early”

Aaron Rodgers

bourb0nblues

HARF

Wakezilla

“I hate it when they squirm too much so I have to pull out early”

–Big Ben, Bill Cosby–

evilbeaver8

Text book 2 minute offense.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Lol, fumbre!

Sill Bimmons

wow

JustStopDude

Pey Pey piss off the Offensive Line or something???

makeitsnowondem

They’ve been like this all year.

King Hippo

Dunno if a team has ever made the playoffs with a worse OL, let alone been a 1 seed.

Wakezilla

I dunno, man. C-HOX line was pretty terrible this year

Wakezilla

WoOOOOOOOOO!

Fetus head just gon got aborted! CHUH CHUH!

Sharkbait

[Nationwide] Someone get a coat hanger

makeitsnowondem

Broncos are extremely committed to kicking a field goal here.

Romonobyl

Define “tedious”.

evilbeaver8

“You know Jim…it truly is amazing the career Peyton has had without so much as a whiff of any PED scandal”
-Nantz

King Hippo

so…not even gonna TRY to get a touchdown?

ThePirateSloth

SHARK! WHERE!?!?!

blackroseMD1

I had honestly forgotten that Gary Kubiak exists/coaches the Broncos until they just showed him on the sideline.

Sill Bimmons

Kube’s Pubes.

blackroseMD1

Worst charitable foundation ever.

King Hippo

HEY HE DIDN;T FUCKING DROP A BALL RIGHT IN HIS GODDAMNED HANDS?

makeitsnowondem

ALL HAIL OUR LORD AND SAVIOR SNAKE DICK

Romonobyl

“Bud Light. Sucked then…sucks now”

Romonobyl

oops…

tundrajim

I like your first attempt better.

Romonobyl

“Bug Light. Sucked then…sucks now”

Wakezilla
Sill Bimmons

Snowing here.

Wakezilla

Out of sheer annoyance of the Letter Kenny commercials we keep getting in Canadia, I refuse to signup for/try a free subscription for Crave TV

litre_cola

I agree. They and the Cashmoney commercials drive me sideways

Romonobyl

I wonder where she got her degree in Meteorology?

Wakezilla

My theory: She nailed her oral interview

evilbeaver8

It feels all fancy and pretentious to say you’re making cornish game hens for dinner. Then you end up just using your fingers to tear the meat off the damn things and come to realize you’re still just a lowly schlub.

Sill Bimmons

Cornish hens are for people who think the best part of the chicken is the bones.

nomonkeyfun

You’re talking about sime birds fromWestern England who are up for it, am I right?

Nudge, nudge know what I mean.

John Difool

These Cornish Game Hens you speak of are after dinner mints, right?”
-Andy Reid

Sill Bimmons

Tic-Tacs.

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