Superbowl “L” Pick: Zoidberg

/Packs tobacco pipe firmly
//promptly eats the pipe

Ah. It seems like the foot is on the other shoe now! You come to learn the secrets behind this conservative sandwich-heavy investor lifestyle, maybe? Why not let Zoidberg teach you?

It’s the time of year when everyone gathers around the television to watch the ritualistic mating dance of 22 females known as the Superbowl, named for the fact it takes place in a big bowl and has all that yummy popcorn and half eaten hot dogs no matter the outcome the real winner is Zoidberg!

Just the other day I was getting something to eat with my Wall Street friends when I got the tip of the decade!

///Cuts to Zoidberg and a group of homeless people eating out of a dumpster when a trash bag gets thrown on top of him.

I have insider information saying the Patriots will beat the Panthers 32-29.

////burps up old betting slip

You can trust me, after all, Zoidberg is the original #upforwhatever

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WCS

Down 2-0 under five to play, rally to tie, win in OT?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

Man I hope the blonde’s name is “Justice”

WCS

WVU starting to pull away?

WCS

Holy shit, the Ice Stillers just tied it up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

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Pictured: Big 12 refs’ sense of selves.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes…words…words…yes…

King Hippo

serenity…ACHIEVED?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dunno about him, but I’ve achieved….something.

Horatio Cornblower

So the Ballast Point Watermelon Dorado double IPA review none of you were waiting for.

It’s good. it’s not great but I do not regret that $16+ I handed over in exchange for six of them. A friend came over and, I think, nailed it, when he suggested that it would be much better consumed ice cold at the end of a hot day. Because let’s face it, you’re not drinking 10% beers DURING the day if you want to be awake past tea time.

Now I disagree that any beer worth drinking should be served ice cold because that amount of cold kills taste too much but this is definitely not a room temperature beer. It needs to be cold and the weather needs to be hot; I am definitely drinking it out of season tonight.

You can definitely taste the watermelon on the first sip and then again as it hits the back of your throat. (PHRASING! Boom! Nailedit!) it is not overpowering. In between there’s the good bitter taste one associates with a good IPA. The mix works surprisingly well.

The one gripe I have is that the alcohol is a little too present, which is odd as the regular Dorado double IPA does not have as much, (to me anyway), even though they both clock in at 10%. Maybe it’s the fruit taste that enhances the alcohol factor? I don’t know. I do know that you definitely know you’re drinking a high ABV beer here. The sweetness also adds a bit of a syrup factor but it’s not unpleasant.

This beer will not make you forget the Sculpin, the Grapefruit Sculpin, (and Ballast Point’s amber, [Calico if you’re interested], is very good as well), but it’s a solid beer and far better than most watermelon varieties I’ve tried.

By the way I’m about 3/4 of the way through my second one and the amount of editing I’ve had to do to have this comment not look like something Charlie from IASIP wrote is fucking staggering. That alone makes it worth the price of a six-pack.

King Hippo

Agreed, it’s nice when a beer makes one Charlie Kelly semi-illiterate. It used to take gin or whiskey to do that.

makeitsnowondem

Ballast Point is killing the fruit beers these days. I had the Mango Even Keel last night and it’s very good.

Horatio Cornblower

I went to the good package store with the express purpose of getting the Mango and the Pineapple but they haven’t been able to get them yet. Apparently all you jerks between San Diego and CT are snapping them up faster that Ballast can make ’em.

JerBear50

Has anyone tried the Peppermint Victory at Sea? I’ve been seeing bombers of it lately. I love VOS, but the peppermint thing scares me off.

makeitsnowondem

I guess it depends on how averse you are to peppermint. I like peppermint fine and think the beer’s excellent.

theeWeeBabySeamus

All the yellow, it took me a second to figure out that this game was in Morgantown.
/adjusts color and tint

King Hippo

yeah, they will be easier to root for on the neutral floors of March.

If’n the bracket makes it possible, my final is gonna be WVU/MD

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not a bad pick.
Plus there might be fights!!!!!!

King Hippo

I would LOVE a live old-style soccer hooligan riot in the crowd. Nantz would lose his shit. He might even say “darn” or “heck” on air.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know Sexy Friday was on Mr. Balls thread yesterday, so please forgive me.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/fe3aecac9901ff2f2cba52fab1bde3fe/tumblr_nuvv9jE28z1rubd5po3_1280.jpg

WCS

Obviously, an important call.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah…she just missed me.

King Hippo

I can’t get over how much I like her glasses and how much more attractive that makes her to me.

/I very very weird

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While not one of my fetishes, I fully support and accept this glasses thing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wouldn’t call it a particular fetish of mine either, but there are definitely some girls that pull off the look to perfection….which is always appreciated and not at all weird.
/My sick fuck self may not be the best judge of what is weird, admittedly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Protects the eyes too.

ballsofsteelandfury

No forgiveness necessary. If anything, we owe you a Thank You!

theeWeeBabySeamus

As my father used to say, any day Carolina loses can’t be all bad.
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King Hippo

NO SOUP FOR YOU, Holes!!!

Unsurprised

Wait. Terrell Davis isn’t in the HoF?

What the fuck?

King Hippo

well, he’s no Eddie George or Curtis Martin

/slashes wrists

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, my anger builds.

http://replygif.net/i/170.gif

King Hippo

Rage is a good and beautiful thing.

Though it’s less now that I’ve accepted that these morons are being deliberately obstinate about it now (and will never rectify this grievous error).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have accepted that too; doesn’t make me any less pissed off. Probably why I’m not in the best of health.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At what point do you foul?
/whistle blows
Well, I think you foul right there.
That’s why Bilas makes the big money.

Horatio Cornblower

To the extent I follow college basketball, which isn’t much, I find Bilas a fairly decent listen.

King Hippo

He’s not as bad as a Vitale, but he’s got that smarmy “my farts are fucking GLORIOUS” Duke grad behaviour down to a T.

And like almost every other Duke grad, he’s about 15-20 IQ points less intelligent than he believes himself to be.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s very well said.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Truth be told, I do prefer him to most.

Bloody Lethal
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I bet they didn’t have a chapter on “experimentation”…

http://41.media.tumblr.com/4f94f7be51950694de8a259ac4bfb59b/tumblr_nmtql070Cm1qabj53o1_1280.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

“Now put your first two fingers together and jam them…”

JerBear50

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WCS

Can’t get this out of my brain:

WCS

Tracksuiteneers up, 38-29, halftime.

King Hippo

Some pills gon’ get popped and some cousins gon’ get fucked tonight. BUHLEE DAT!!

Horatio Cornblower

So it’s a day that ends in “y”?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dear, my keyboard suddenly needs a bit of a wipe down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

Notice how much more contact U*NC is magically allowed to get away with than their opponent, in EVERY conference game.

Guess who the ACC commish is a former football player and AD for??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell, just compare it to some of the shite we got whistled for today at Cameron.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m genuinely stunned they called that a block.
Figured flop was gonna pay off.

King Hippo

I was preemptively having my stroke

/Kubes solidarity

King Hippo

I think TO and TD should have a joint press conference and FUCK YOU motherfuckers, we are better than you and everyone knows it.

King Hippo

The Snake excepted, he was the tits.

WCS

TO just tweeted he didn’t make it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

C’mon Irish!!! Beat dat Tar Heel ass!!!!
Just fought back to tie it up with 12 to go, btw.

Bloody Lethal

Yes and +2.5 so keep it going.

King Hippo

In “no shit, Sherlock” news, Cam is officially MVP.

WCS

Can’t wait for the 3400-obtusely worded damning with faint praise write up from PK.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

Jesus, the size of that man’s hands. Can you just imagine…

…how hard it must be for him to buy gloves?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Do they make an Isotoner Magnum?

Unsurprised

Does he buy them from the place that sold OJ his real gloves?

King Hippo

Tis official, TD has been snubbed again. HoF voters every bit as muthafuckin’ dumb as the Iowa GOP caucus-goers…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who got the nods?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just realized if I scroll down my question will probably get answered.

WCS

Right now, it’s Dungy, Harrison, Ken Stabler, and DeBartolo.

http://nfltraderumors.co/141984-2/

King Hippo

haven’t announced full thing yet. But the snubs being confirmed drip by drip too.

WCS

Horatio Cornblower

About to try Ballast Point’s Watermelon Dorado double IPA. Generally watermelon beer sends me running for the exit but the pineapple hasn’t reached my favorite packy, (other than Jackie’s Packie of course), and I figured they did so well with the Grapefruit Sculpin that they deserve the benefit of the doubt for at least one six-pack.

Tune in later to see if I’ve made a huge mistake!

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Bloody Lethal

That Grapefruit Sculpin should be what Jesus turned the water into.

JerBear50
King Hippo

fucking great, Dungy to HoF

Horatio Cornblower

No hanging chads on his vote?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How many better coaches who did more with less? 20?

This is disturbing.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/92ffbfea4a8603e6c93c8ef8bab2e599/tumblr_mtlbz3Nnhc1qh9ncqo1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

That fish got a pertty mouth.

King Hippo

I’m just mad that this homophobic douchebag gets fellated while TD hurts again. He was a good footy coach, agreed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is not what I’m saying; there is probably 20 coaches who did more with less than he did. Old timey coaches who invented new things in the game deserve it more for one thing.

King Hippo

ah, gotcha. Yeah, the “Tampa 2” wasn’t really an earth shattering thingamajig. I’m sure his status in the “media kool kids” clique didn;t hurt any.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way, aside from the nepotism between Dungy and guys like PK that Dungy should be in before Coryell.

No. Fucking. Way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Abso-FUCKING-lutely!

King Hippo

wait, Coryell is NOT in?? Holy fucking Christ!!!

WCS

Kansas State up, 74-65, on #1 Oklahoma with about 30 seconds left.

King Hippo

enjoy sole possession of 1st!!

WCS

Got to beat Baylor tonight first.

King Hippo

well, you get to enjoy two hours of it regardless. Good luck with teh BayBay

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go HuggyNeers!!!!

Sill Bimmons

They’re getting really good at cracking down on pirated livestreams.

Can’t even find one with a popup blocking 2/3 of the screen for the Ice Stillers tonight.

Bloody Lethal

Are you in market?

Bloody Lethal

I mean to say I have NHL Gamecenter and I’d be happy to share it with you for tonight.

Bloody Lethal

I don’t know if it has to do with the amount of brain cells I lost last night, but today I woke up and became convinced Denver is going to kick the crap out of Carolina.

WCS

Is this our de facto live thread for the night?

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s go with yes. Take the night off scotchy!

/reads about crime spree in Canada in tomorrow’s paper
//throws paper away, walks off whistling.

Sill Bimmons
entropy

It’s that lack of a day off after the Superb Owl.. One of my previous jobs, one of the guys I worked with who di NOT watch the SB always took the day off, which in turn prevented everyone else who DID watch it from their recovery day.

Horatio Cornblower

Easter is surprising but otherwise I think Entropy nailed it. If they played the game on Saturday I think the Super Bowl at least gets to 4.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nothing like an Easter Egg hunt while totally sauced, I guess.

entropy

Holidays with lots of children = lots of drinking. I know I have to have a few before I can handle Easter with the nieces and nephews.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That is an extremely apt point.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus; Easter = LUCK WITH THE LAAAAAAAAAAAADIES!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Out of goodwill to my fellow Commentists who are Broncos fans I will say this: I genuinely hope that Denver does not lose due to some fluky play or bullshit officiating decision.

That is to say, I want for them to be properly stomped, and for nobody to have the chance to claim that it was ever even remotely close.

Sill Bimmons

Right there with you.

King Hippo

I can appreciate the beauty in the pure hatred of a Raider fan. Well done, good sir.

But PeyPey say NEIGH!

Horatio Cornblower

Better watch it or Peyton’ll send goons, hired goons, to your house to discuss your rooting interests.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rikki has to, as I have to root against the Raiders. I did have an exception; the SB against the [*Redacted] s; I wanted Marcus Allen to do well and my hatred of the Deadskins eclipsed that of the Raiders. The game worked out well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Careful what you wish for; the last stomping brought us the New Seattle Fans.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’ve just now realized that Zoidberg is just Dr. Chao, without the drinking.

http://i.imgur.com/rhbrGJV.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
Horatio Cornblower

That was definitely not the article to read while eating last night’s pork chop leftovers for tonight’s dinner.

Sill Bimmons

Futurama was too intelligent and sensitive to succeed.

Another nice thing we can’t have.

Horatio Cornblower

It had a decent enough, multi-season run. I think ‘Better Off Ted’ is the better example of what you’re saying, which is oh so very sadly true.

BAZINGA!

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

Going for a scuttle.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, posted some more stuff on your SF thread/post you may be interested in.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/c9317896a881378432f60092c4f880ab/tumblr_ngnjwjUyqa1ttl5zwo1_500.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Those were awesome! Thanks!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Too bad he didn’t stay on for 8 seconds.

entropy

The important thing is Zoidberg is meeting new people.

indieguy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Copy and paste salient parts so they don’t get our delicious delicious clicks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Yes! Let’s all talk to Zoidberg.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“GET THAT SNIPPY BASTARD AWAY FROM ME!!!”

– Nate Solder

WCS

“Hire this guy to be our new style brand manager! He’s uber-epic!” — Ben Blank

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