Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
Finally here. Sup, bitches.
Decker it is. I didn’t even include Tebow as an option…because urgh.
http://rainydays.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Eric-Decker-sem-camisa-NFL.jpg.webp
Marlee Matlin is suffocating those puppies
HONOR THIS
http://brickmeathook.tumblr.com/image/138883576924
this ain’t my day
Okay, watching the Super Bowl with family. Sick. Without beer.
Pray for me.
PRAY FOR REDSHIRT
FSM KEEP REDSHIRT SAFE
STOP HONORING THINGS AND START THE FUCKING GAME ALREADY!
HONOR MY ASS!
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/24/f0/24/24f024860852986dc870e805f573515a.jpg
Huh…harder to find good shirtless Broncos pics. Y’all want Eric Decker or Brady Quinn?
Ugh. Decker I suppose.
Papa John?
Decker, I loathe Brady Quinn.
Elway?
http://wonderwordz.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/horse11.jpg
Sexy
LET’S GO 1 — 3 WOO
So when this is over, what will be my excuse for day-drinking? Sure as hell won’t be based-balls…
You’re a Cowboys fan?
If you’re a Dallas sports guy, then hopefully the Stars and/or Mavs make a good long playoff run.
Spurs baby…all the way!! And no, not a band-wagoner, been a fan since Dave Robinson.
Excuse? Don’t excuse your day drinking! Be proud! EMBRACE your day drinking!
Those Carolina cheerleaders are thick.
Carolina gets pretty cold.
I’m rooting for Ron Rivera. Go Hispanics!
I’m still not sure he can speak Spanish. If I hear him speak in Spanish, then he gets the seal of approval.
Someone has to talk to ESPN Deportes.
VIVA LA RAZA!!!!111UNO!!
Edward James Olmos’ face is somehow looking worse in this new role as coach of the Panthers
You know why I watch football? It’s so that I can see commercials for shitty network TV shows, like Rush Hour.
Steph really taking some swings there.
PANTHERS!!!
http://swoonworthy.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/hottest-football-players-cam-newton.jpg
Yeah but he has wierd ears
Did I just witness a “Rush Hour” show promo?
At this point, I am fairly confident we could collectively write a successful show.
Hard Ride To Nowhere. Coming this fall to FXX!
Why is there a TV show based on Rush Hour?
Cancel that shit right now.
I’d go gay for Jonny Lee Miller.
The one thing I’ve learned as an adult is that most people are actually pretty close to incompetent at their jobs, and somehow things still work reasonably well. This is reflected in the fact that most of those guys payed through the nose for their suits, and probably a stylist as well, yet they look worse than guys who are just getting drafted and are yet to be paid.
If there’s no metric for what you do it’s even easier to suck.
Also, there’s only so much a good tailor can do to disguise the ravages of football age.
Its the “Peter Principle” I think you are hinting at. Its where folks are promoted to a position in an organization until they suck at their job and can no longer advance. The problem is that they never get demoted back to the last position they had success at. So eventually an organization becomes functionally locked, with no movement, and everyone is stuck at a position they are least qualified at performing.
For example, see the Cleveland Browns.
It worked!
Tumblr. Imgur is fucked here.
Figures.
Almost anthem time and I’m now over-full. I am not good at game time food.
I appreciate shirtless Cam Newton.
So, Broncos crowd, yes?
No Bills or Bengals?…oh right…sorry.
The Bengals fanbase may not make it to the 2016 NFL Season
I forgot to post this
http://i.imgur.com/AwxzP.jpg
There’s another Col. Sanders? Is he supposed to be a Time Lord now?
So seriously, which one of us is going to be Col. Sanders next?
FRIED CHICKEN COMN’
FLACCO SAYS FUCK THE YELLOW SPOT TOO!!
But is he elite?!?
Why won’t this tribute ever end? Ok, fine, they drove me to this
Dear God Drew, who dressed you?!
And you too Joe!
jesus
Where did they find Santonio Holmes? He fell right off the map.
Next to Jim Tomsula on the train.
Should have been Deebo:
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/9-26-2015/rMqBGx.gif
A WILD STABBY APPEARS
and FUCK Hines Ward too
Hy-dra-ting be-fore the game.
Gator-ade you taste so good
SMIRRE!
Brady says FUCK YOUR YELLOW SPOT!
Fuck brady.
Stabby!
Holy Shit! There are boos! For realz guys!
TD was a beast.
I’m always so happy that Desmond Howard and not BrittFar won that SB MVP.
Fucking El Nino. YOU HAD ONE JOB!
Hey, don’t you go talking bad about El Nino. I love El Nino.
Troy boy, he’s my man.
Hey guys, remember when the NFC East dominated the NFL?
As an Eagles fan, no.
How is it the brain damaged MVP’s can handle an entrance but the GOP candidates fucked this up royally on the last debate???
Oh God, honoring Phil Simms. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WOOOO DOUG
GENLTLEPERSONS! Let’s break WordPress. More. Let’s break WordPress more than it already is.
Wooo let’s tear this mother down accidentally!