Cure Your VD Woes With Heavy Doses of EPL!

As you likely know, it’s a phony-assed Big Greeting Card holiday this weekend. So, instead of paying exorbitant prices for half-dead flowers (welcome to supply vs. demand 101, but try telling that to your significant other when you try to get flowers a week early instead) or staying home in the dark cutting yourself, why not watch some EuroFooty instead?

This will be brief, as I hear tell Sill done writed up some bad-ass Rugby previews, which is like, even more Euro (and New Zealand-y) footy than the EPL.

The Saturday 10:00 window isn’t great, as you can tell by NBCSN highlighting Everton’s home fixture against the lowly Albion of West Brom. The Toffees’ very minor run (lucky fleece WOO) over mediocre foes has vaulted them into 8th, with a SHOT (hee hee, as the pic indicates) at getting back into one of the Europa League places, at least. Damned shame Top 4 is out of sight, but what’s done is fucking done.

The real action is Sunday Funday, when you have to get up even earlier to catch our friends Foxy Footy (fresh off their thrashing of City at the Etihad, which JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN), as they take on Arsenal (7:00 EST, NBCSN). Leicester are 5 points clear of both the Gooners and Spurs, who have a marquee showdown of their own, against 4th place City (11:00, NBCSN). City are 6 points back of Leicester, 1 behind Arsenal and Spurs. In goal differential, Spurs are first, followed by City, Foxy Footy, then Arsenal.

Buckle up, dickholes. It’s gonna be a fun late winter/early spring in jolly old England. And what the fuck else ya gon’ watch?