INT. SCOTT HANSON’S OFFICE – DAY

A man – let’s call him VERBAL KENT because the author of this piece couldn’t think of anything clever enough that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway – sits in an office at NFL Network Headquarters. The office is an untidy mess; the desk is covered with pens and paper, the wastebasket is full, post-it notes hang from every available surface. VERBAL gazes calmly around the office, taking in a few objects of note – a cigar box, a bulletin board with various papers tacked to it, some framed posters of famous broadcasting teams of the past, and a table piled high with opened shipping boxes packages with foam peanuts overflowing onto the floor. PETER KING enters the office, followed by SCOTT HANSON.

HANSON: Verbal, this is Peter King, from Sports Illustrated.

KING: And NBC.

VERBAL: We’ve met. At the combine.

HANSON: He’d like to ask you a few questions.

VERBAL: What about?

KING: About Jeff Fisher, mostly. But I’d like to start with the lineup back in New York.

VERBAL: Okay. Go ahead.

KING: First off, do you really think that Odell Beckham Jr. should be starting in front of Ben Edwards? I mean, I know Beckham has the gaudy stats and the highlight reel catches, but Edwards is just so gritty and…

VERBAL: Oh. I thought you wanted to talk about the police lineup.

KING: No, that’s your personal business.

VERBAL: And all the criminal activity that just took place in Inglewood that I’ve been implicated in.

KING: Um. That. Yeah. Scott, can we get some coffee here?

HANSON: [irritated] Sure, Peter. [steps out]

VERBAL: That guy looks tense. Tension is a killer. I used to work as a tour guide on the Amazon, the booking agent was this big fat drunk named John Summerall, I mean like Flounder fat and drunk, he was so stressed on Mondays…

KING: [interrupts] Verbal, you know we’re trying to help you.

VERBAL: Sure. And I appreciate that. And I want to help you, Peter. I like reporters. They’ve always been very nice to me.

KING: Well, that’s our job.

VERBAL: So if you want to ask me about Inglewood, I don’t mind talking about it. Go ahead and ask.

KING: In a minute. First I’d like to talk about your charitable foundation.

VERBAL: Yeah, that’s all a sham. It’s basically just a way to funnel charitable donations to my immediate family. It’s incredibly crooked.

KING: [holds up hands] I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to broach such a sensitive topic.

VERBAL: It’s all right, I…

KING: No, no, it’s not my place. Those kinds of unsavory subjects are for amateur bloggers without access, favor, or discretion.

SCOTT HANSON comes back with the coffee – a pair of cups from Starbucks – and hands one to each of the men. VERBAL takes a sip and grimaces.

KING: It’s good, right?

VERBAL: Peter…just because it’s in a Starbucks cup doesn’t mean that the coffee actually came from…

HANSON: [frantically waves hands at NARRATOR]

VERBAL: [rolls his eyes] Oh. Yeah. [pretends to take another sip] It’s really good.

KING: The juniper really makes it pop.

VERBAL: [sets down the coffee] So. You want to hear about the hijacking.  And the shootout.

KING: [reluctantly] Oh, I don’t know…

VERBAL: You know that Jeff Fisher is a major part of it?

KING: [tempted] Well…

VERBAL: There’s this one part where he really takes charge of a situation.

KING: …

VERBAL: I mean, he starts yelling at everyone what to do, and then…

KING: Okay. I’m convinced. Tell me every last detail.