Finally, there is no way around it. I have to talk about the FA Cup.
We are now in the quarterfinal round, which is the last played outside London’s Wembley Stadium (ie, the stage where Everton will feel they’ve accomplished something and shit the pitch). It’s known as a romantic tournament, where “magic” can happen, lower level (and even virtual pub sides) clubs hosting, and even beating Premier League opposition. It’s all luck of the draw, and many top clubs don’t take it seriously, especially if playing in Europe at the same time. Though EPL sides get a “bye” through the first 2 rounds, so it’s not that socialistic.
In actuality, the plankton generally all fall by the wayside by this point. And that’s true in 2016, with one one non-EPL side left (the Championship’s Reading, who play Crystal Palace Friday night, before this post goes live). The other matches look like solid, if not earth shattering, EPL matchups.
Saturday is the best match of the lot, with two teams making a last ditch effort to salvage something* from bitterly disappointing seasons (Chelski at Everton, 12:30, FS2). The Toffees have played very well against Chelski both times in the Prem, and need to make it 3 for 3. Otherwise, the atmosphere at Goodison will get beyond hostile (after last week’s repugnant even by Everton standards meltdown). A trophy might save Roberto Martinez’ job, but probably shouldn’t.
* Winning the FA Cup gets you entry into the Europa League (European footy’s NIT) next season, unless you qualify for Champions League. If the winner qualifies for CL, the runner-up gets the Europa slot.
Sunday’s doubleheader features Manure/West Ham (noon, FS1) and Aresnal/Watford (1:30, Fox Soccer Plus). Watford clearly will be the team with the most incentive amongst the four, as Arsenal need to cement a top 3 place in the League, and Manure and the Hammers are in a scrum for 5th, with an eye on City for the last Champions League slot.
What I’m saying is that Sunday’s games could be shit.
Also, these are the last matches that will not go to extra time or penalties. A draw results in a “replay” at the visiting side’s ground. But THAT match would go to extra time, then pens as needed. In the olden days, they did rounds of replays ad infinitum. Purity = entropy, wish I had seen it.
If you wake up super early, you can treat yo’ self to Man City and Norwich (7:45, NBCSN). With all the FA Cup-related cancellations, there are only two 10:00 matches – Stoke/Southampton (NBCSN) and Bournemouth/Swansea (USA), neither being particularly interesting.
Sunday brings Villa/Tottenham at noon (NBCSN) – don’t forget to “spring forward” UGH. Then Leicester gets shitty Newcastle on Monday Night Footy (4:00, NBCSN), presumably to keep its 5-point lead over Spurs.
Of course, footy being footy…anything can happen. So maybe good teevee will spring forth unexpectedly.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/ce7cb979dec0c75c8469821d25461acf/tumblr_ngzgmjhuFv1s2wio8o1_500.gif
The Monald Mucks win the Pac 12!
http://56.media.tumblr.com/8d0f675c2c495d26a006ffc89dc85860/tumblr_nuqbuju08D1sr7281o1_1280.png
Gentleman, this is Madalina Pica. You are welcome.
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhlcxy07yC1qeegbeo1_500.gif
She seems very….fun.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/cf54789ea93d3795d2fb36505363f8e5/tumblr_ntt8aahhj01rsxqqio1_400.gif
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11119/111194404/4339571-0572217425-tumbl.gif
This Stephen F. Austin is one heckuva basketball player.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/10941445f8912f536df82835407971bb/tumblr_nttlxw0wQC1tis3c8o1_1280.jpg
http://56.media.tumblr.com/2fadbd57360393e93a7d3ee4e98bee29/tumblr_nxqn99XTbh1ul2tiso1_1280.png
Ho-hum, Spurs win another game at home.
Going to be seriously disappointed if the WCF isn’t Spurs vs. Warriors.
The only question this regular season is “Who loses at home first, if at all, the Spurs or the Warriors?”
http://56.media.tumblr.com/25dcc19c9c78ce3a0171c913061f403e/tumblr_n1ks0qGpGU1rasnq9o1_1280.jpg
I’m 80% sure all of New Jersey is highway from my driving through it. Highway to off-ramp to smaller highway to jughandle to other highway, etc.. And then sometimes you end up at a place! But only very rarely.
This would not be nearly so funny if one doesn’t know the shape of Idaho.
(I’M KIDDING!!!!! I KNOW THAT’S REALLY INDIANA!!!!!)
😉
http://56.media.tumblr.com/310a8f80d02532ecfab19f5f03f39d13/tumblr_nu11r2ZLrg1sy7kxko1_1280.jpg
The only way I EVER test 9 volts.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/56f4e019af5b8a821209dff68e2d56ee/tumblr_nyl2jl0LsQ1suchdko1_400.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/a19d635993bf4256e6c88b625bcef030/tumblr_o1sllcFEzL1s2wio8o1_500.gif
Shots are really not falling for the Spurs tonight. Down 5 to OKC late in the 3rd.
This is gonna make me feel really dirty to say….But GO UVA!!!!
http://56.media.tumblr.com/08a273d2825cc23f2b2b55cb6562ffb7/tumblr_o21p4ecg441u56zimo1_540.jpg
Shit, did the entire NFL sign up for Dancing With the Stars?
So, what’s the line on tonight’s rugby game? Or are they not taking bets because they afraid everyone will welsh?
http://57.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lobhyjX0Ua1qzcm5po1_1280.gif
This made me laugh way more than it should have.
I am a pitiful Terminator Nerd…I can admit it.
Ladies and gents, taco night was a success, namely because I found out that Ortega makes its taco sauce (Senor’s Pick between it, Old El Paso, and Chi Chi’s) in a hot variant. There was much rejoicing.
I also then bought a bottle of Spyce Hot Sauce while at the store because I saw its first ingredient was habanero (as opposed to vinegar). I will try it eventually.
Five bucks if you drink it straight.
Joke’s on you, it only cost 3! But if it’s not hot enough, it has failed in its duties and I will probably take a swig.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/ef3e7c6ba1b893463f18d7a308850f14/tumblr_o2blgtEzf01uxbwf5o1_500.gif
Yea I’m just browsing these.
Clean up on aisle 5, 6, 7 and part of 8.
Maria, when I said I’d be open to an exotic threesome, this is NOT what I thought you meant.
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1720900.1394814680!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/vuecover16tvf-1-web.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW1LNP02miw
Not sure why I laughed so hard at that.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/53c12575969442e72de210f8a54b883d/tumblr_o0tinkzb3v1ut1d6co6_250.gif
She needs to go to rehab.
Or get a Super Bowl ring.
No like Steve Young reference?
OK, wasn’t very good.
Totally spaced on it bcuz I was screwing with Sill on the Rugby thread.
Maria Menounos’s Lady Parts are Showing:
h
ttp://56.media.tumblr.com/ca66de1d6311ad3630625dbfaebc25e5/tumblr_o3w2a7sYuf1u1dkf2o1_1280.jpg
Oh my….that appears to be a top notch waxing.
Bottom notch too.
Taco Tuesday.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000643999/article/demarcus-ware-restructures-contract-with-broncos
http://56.media.tumblr.com/b1dd536014722b0789f9d6db2915452d/tumblr_naj363qu781s9bqq4o1_1280.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/2b71940785d62d3685602395b8a78d93/tumblr_mkz6fpYQNc1qi1jf5o1_250.gif
I hope that’s not Dok getting dressed to go out for her burger.
AFL/Rugby rivebrog up for the less basketingball-inclined Commentist.
How much trouble are we in if we giggle every time they say “scrum”?
None.
It’s a funny word.
http://asset-3.soupcdn.com/asset/12346/1213_369b.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/766d28ebe86ae6629bfc3289d54078c8/tumblr_n5s5wi3LGF1t3hbhyo1_500.gif
I kind of want to go out and grab a burger and a couple beers, but listening to the Chicago police scanner is discouraging me. They turned off the scanner specifically for my area, I can only assume because there’s too much drunken obnoxiousness going on. Car accidents were already flooding the ER by noon, as of an hour ago there were 12 hospital runs and 3 arrests on Clark alone. My corner bar is probably okay….right? Or I could go to a nicer restaurant with a bar…dumb kids from the suburbs wouldn’t go there, right?
Zombie Apocalypse in ChiTown tonight?
I think zombies could hold their liquor better.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/9be90375fedcf728eac486dd330c420f/tumblr_n1mzw6FdcX1t77ydgo1_500.gif
THE GREEN HOARDS!
Wait until the psychos leave town.
We’re fucked as a country aren’t we?
Agreed, wait until sunrise.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/00e6e5d1ed7ccfe9f897eaf97491ed1d/tumblr_o0nm5teqqP1qa70eyo2_540.gif
I’d opt for delivery and cracking the liquor cabinet over venturing out into… that.
Did some dipshit network executive really say, “We could really showcase Reggie Miller more!”
I have a really hard time listening to that drooling, blithering mouth-breather during the NBA coverage and now he’s doing NCAA?
Christ.
/drinks
Hope he pulls it together and is not subject to arbitrary punishment:
http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/martavis-bryant-to-check-into-rehab/ar-AAgHDWU?ocid=ansmsnsports11
He’s heading for relapse!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66IaDt0cjHQ
Aw, well.
[smashes couch anyway]
Fucking couch.
Sorry WCS…sincerely. On the upside, my enchiladas were fucking to die for. Wooo!!!! (and are so far staying down).
Fuck you Danny Manning….you are 1-2 vs NCSU as a coach. And even before that you could eat the whole bag o’ dicks.
And fuck you too, Capel Family, especially that dicknut Jason.
Hippo….I know you heard me say it several times this year, but Devonte Graham was the piece that would have made a difference for us.
/googles Jason Capel residence
//dammit
Enchiladas you say?
Do tell?
All homemade aside from the enchilada sauce (canned).
Chicken, peppers, onions and an assload of cheese, wrapped in flour tortillas.
Probably not the best thing considering my nausea today, but yay for Reglan (doggie reglan no less).
I admit to using a canned sauce for some of my enchiladas. I use one small can of green and one small can of red mixed together. Great for turkey enchiladas after Thanksgiving.
Mix the turkey with some diced green chilies and use some asadero or queso fresco cheese.
Oh my yes.
Godamn you.
Now I’m hungry again.
Sorry boys, but this makes Mrs. Monty happy.
Speaking of Margot Robbie, you should see the Top Gear where she beats co-guest Will Smith’s time around the track.
It was everything he could do to not spontaneously combust right there in the studio.
Fuckin’ Margot Robbie RIGHT
Musberger needs a haircut.
Fucking hippies.
That’s at least the third KU three they’ve hit with five seconds or less left on the shot clock.
This is the time of year when real programs distance themselves from programs like WVU and Pitt.
Margot Robbie has an interesting dress; does fashion affect your Would/ Would Not Bang quotient?
http://56.media.tumblr.com/fd62bd28e253e0231cb5cd6d00f5796a/tumblr_o3l456dHxz1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
No.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/90ae3a389405cea602f912cd370221cc/tumblr_nm5bzqJsK01thfhy2o1_r1_500.png
Dude, Margot Robbie could be wearing sticky garbage, coated with feces, and on fire…and I’d still buy her a private island if she asked.
But I WOULD ask her to shower first.
Not in the slightest.
ALL TEH OFFENSNIVE FAOULS
I love how this ad has weights labeled “20 kg.”
Like anyone in America knows what the fuck a “kg” is.
A keg?
Exactly.
Trump had to cancel his rally in Chicago because he was terrified of the 20 jg in the audience.
/terrified of what “jg”might stand for
Yeah, was trying to figure how best to write that so Trump is the one using the term.
50/50 chance that at any given time, Huggy has a dead body in the trunk of his car.
HE’S MAKING A TRACKSUIT OUT OF HUMAN SKIN HE’S BUFFALO BOB
Drunk man drives snowmobile through Iditarod, kills one dog, injures three others
http://espn.go.com/moresports/story/_/id/14957908/snowmobile-strikes-iditarod-teams-kills-dog-injures-others
#sleddoglivesmatter
“An apologetic Demoski told the Alaska Dispatch News that he had not intentionally driven into the dog teams, but he had blacked out while returning from drinking in another village.
“I don’t care if people know if I was drinking and driving,” Demoski told the paper. “I’m really glad [Zirkle] and [King] are OK, and I really feel sorry for Nash.”
OK…first of all, WTF dude?
Second of all… Methinks somebody didn’t talk to their lawyer yet.
He’s a drunk driving dog killer, but he’s not a MONSTER.
I’m really sorry I just accidentally I just shot Demoski in the head 18 times; I don’t care if people know I was drinking and shooting.
Nausea meds have kicked in good now. I gotz to go eat something….I hope.
And try not to nod off while UVa is kicking Carolina’s ass….I hope.
Hopefully, while I’m munching and not puking (I hope) I can watch a Tracksuit U comeback, and KU’s tears will fill a bucket.
Up yours KU.
Nice relaxing Saturday night, drinking some beers and watching some hoops?
NOOO! I’m slaving over a hot stove, doing a couple of hours of pre-prep for another edition of Sunday Gravy.
Do you see the sacrifices I make for your good folks?
Fuck it man. I’m just gonna smoke dope and they can all got to hell.
I may be getting into the shots early today.
What’s happening Commentist Party?
uhhhh
the first sentence?
/hangs head sheepishly
//if makes you feel better, I have a super shitty cold
I battled a bug for the last 3 days but I’m getting over it. Did a beautiful 5 miles along the beach today, had some Indian food and I am fucking ready to roll!
Late night rugby mini-rivebrog @ 11:00 ET.
England/Wales on BeIn?
YEP
Who are these “good folks” to whom you refer, Sir?
I was assuming Dok was around.
Way to copy my inability/refusal to dance in the bracket list.
Rum, ginger beer and kick-ass burritos made from leftovers are “what’s happening” at Casa de Spanky tonight.
Cheers!
Pulled some kalbi ribs out of the freezer, having some mojitos.
Cousin fondlers on the comeback trail…
NEVAR count out a team that has a black Kurt Rambis.
Or any Kurt Rambis, for that matter.
The New York Knicks beg to differ.
I thought I WAS the black Kurt Rambis!?!?!
-Kurt Rambis
I’ll bet Lardaccino there is one of PK’s pet favorites.
Jeebus, what a great play they dialed up. Foiled by sweaty floor. PIRATES WOO!
/hush hush WHAT WHAT??
hehehehehe
go pirates of jersey
Dare we hope for Picolo Girl, redux?
Never gets old.
ah, heady times. Then CBS’ mic picked our PG asking “the fuck wrong with Obama” for picking Nova in his bracket. These are the kind of cherished memories you miss out on when you go 15-16 the following season.
Hahaha…I had forgotten about that.
Oh Kitty…good times indeed.
Gus Johnson is the best.
HALL WINS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU VILLANOVA
NOT QUITE I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER
GO HALL
and it seems Nova DOES know it’s Smarch after all…