Basketball Coma – Thursday Evening Edition

Oh well, brackets are dead. Now, we can excise our souls of filthy lucre, and focus on the purity of hate.

14S Buffalo vs. 3S Miami (6:50, TNT)

Behold, the bland competence of Jim Larranaga and the prettay…prettay good Miami Hurricanes. If you can look past the fact that NC State whipped their asses. I wouldn’t count on Buffalo circling the wagons on them tonight, though.

12E Chattanooga vs. 5E Indiana (7:10, CBS)

This one screams “upset city” to me, so if you are gambling-inclined, bet the mortgage/food/insulin money on the Hoosiers.

16(T)E FGCU vs. 1E U*NC (7:20, TBS)

SO MANY INITIALS! As a red-blooded American (whose alma mater has never been a 1 seed in the expanded format era, if ever), I always root like mad for the 16 seed in their Quixotic quest to topple the windmillian #1. I assure you I have never done so harder than I will tonight. AMERICA NEEDS YOU, valiant soldiers of the Credit Union squadron.

14MW Fresno State vs. 3MW Utah (7:27, truTV)

Oh, hai there, Team Secular Big Love, hoops edition. Are you any good? Not really, huh? At least you’re honest. Still probably enough to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and almost certainly enough to get past this ragtag bunch.

11(T)S Wichita State vs. 6S Arizona (9:20, TNT)

Wichita State advanced by 20 in the play-in game, and looked like shit doing so. That’s quite difficult to pull off. Nobody fucking knows what to expect out of Sean Miller’s bunch, last seen getting their pants pulled down around their ankles by a gaggle of Ducks (and no, that better not be the last Oregon rape joke we read on DFO tonight).

13E Stony Brook vs. 4E Kentucky (9:40, CBS)

Caffeinate for this one, it could be interesting. Kentucky is an up and down team, and the Seawolves have a REALLY good power forward who could make things mighty uncomfortable for Coach Cal’s bunch.

9E Providence vs. 8E Southern Cal (9:50, TBS)

MOAR offensive basketball, huzzah! The Men of Troy are led by Coach Andy, the man who led the aforementioned Credit Union side when they had their “Dunk City” S16 run. Beet juice is apparently their secret now, so look for frequent “coach, I need to take a shit” timeouts. Also, Providence is better than people think. Dangerous team if they make it through.

11MW Gonzaga vs. 6MW Seton Hall (9:57, truTV)

Ah, Gonzaga. Finally, having fallen out of favour with the committee, and having burned through all of their ancient Cinderella fan goodwill…watch the fuckwads stop fucking around and start winning games now that nobody’s picking them. There IS some talent there. And the Hall may just have shot their wad taking out Nova for the conference crown.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

Huh. That’s an interesting bra configuration. Either that’s stronger elastic than it looks, or she has a strapless bra on under that. I’m leaning towards the second, because I would think there would be some boob overhang with the first.

laserguru

I will say that you’ve taught me more about proper boob placement in the few years that I’ve known you than all of the other many decades prior.
Cheers, Dok!

Doktor Zymm

Glad to be informative! There is actually a third option, which I frequently forget, but in modeling tape is frequently used to keep things in place. That is actually a pretty strong contender in this photo.

Doktor Zymm

Sad college students are sad. Also, I don’t care that they are sad.

laserguru
Col. Duke LaCross

Yale fans and alumni versus Duke fans and alumni. Douchey crowd? Or douchiest crowd of douchers that ever douched?

WCS

http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/4459859.jpg

(yeah, I’m reposting something I created earlier)

Unsurprised

Pray for meteors.

Croooow

I seriously forget sometimes that Conan still has a show.

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s sad, because his “Late Night” run was at times some of the funniest, most batshit insane TV ever on regular broadcast TV. Or maybe I just think that because it ran from when I was 15-30 and right in that immature dipshit sweet-spot.

Doktor Zymm

My bracket is no longer interestingly crappy. It’s just normal crappy.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed….now that I’m down in the 60 percentile range….all those fuckers up in the 90s (where I was until like an or so ago) are really pissing me off.
I say we kill ’em all
(shhhh…they might be listening)

Doktor Zymm

Pfft, I was a 1%er with an intact Elite 8. Now I’m just a 5%er with an intact Final 4.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The night session has not been kind.
Unless you all made some really stupid picks tomorrow, I am sunk.

WCS

[has WVU in the Elite Eight]
[[WVU loses to Stephen F. Austin by 19]]

theeWeeBabySeamus

I put ’em in the F4…would hurt me more.

montythisseemsstrangetome

I picked Secretariat. Seemed like a sure thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

This guy just stormed by, squeezing in the 18″ between my table and a pillar instead of the giant 6 foot gap between the pillar and everything else that normal people use. Then did it again. I hate people and wish they’d all just die.

ThePirateSloth

All my wrong picks have been the MidWest.

Unsurprised

All is wrong with the Midwest.

Doktor Zymm

The Midwest is an odd place. It’s like the 1950s, but with more premarital sex.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Residing in the Midwest was my wrong pick.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I watched 20 seconds of basketball and the white guy lost the game for USC

Unsurprised

I hope he gets booed with chants of “Go back to Newport”

WCS

That was some kind of Mickey Mouse shitjizz defense from USC.

blaxabbath

My March is over. See you guys for the draft and some good old fashioned Goodell booing!

Fronkenshteen

providence!!!

Croooow

Damn. Clutch shot by Providence.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Comforting how some things nevar change.

WCS

USC-Providence has some plaid-levels of DERP, but it’s been entertaining. Kind of like an octopus falling out of a tree.

montythisseemsstrangetome

DUH! Octopussesses can’t fly.

herodotus450

Corona in a can, almost as disturbing as natty light in a bottle
http://s3.amazonaws.com/etntmedia/media/images/ext/478265819/natural-light-best-worst-beers-md.jpg

laserguru

Another personal favorite. He did an entire series called “Blood.” I’ve seen an exhibit and it’s mind altering.
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montythisseemsstrangetome

Marc Trestman’s Windowless Vanvleet

blaxabbath

Fat Sean Miller is a more successful Sean Miller.

bourb0nblues

HE DUNN DID IT

blaxabbath

Of course York would be the one to turn it over.

Unsurprised

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laserguru

Another Ryden. The Cloven Bunny. He does all of his own framing too.
http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p7/brutal_scalpel/Mark%20Ryden/TheClovenBunny.jpg

montythisseemsstrangetome

All his own farming? Eat local, I hear ya.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Admit it…you’ve got hooks hanging from the shower rod don’t you?

blaxabbath

These look like the prints up at my coffee shop.

This cat from Phx?

laserguru

He’s a local L.A. guy. Cool stuff. Been at it since the 80’s I think. Mark Ryden. Worth a Google indeed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Dinner and a show.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You think she can fit all of that in her mouth?

WCS

Come the piss on, Seton Hall.

blaxabbath

THIS ARIZONA TEAM, I CALL THEM JULIO JONES’ HANDS BECAUSE THEY’RE SOFT AS HELL!

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Arizona hasn’t given up”
Oh Len….I beg to differ. That ship sailed before halftime.

Unsurprised

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laserguru

I’m following the lead of Moose. This is Mark Ryden. L.A. artist. I do love this man’s work.
http://markryden.com/images/painting/two/dead/Dead_Characters.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
montythisseemsstrangetome

Is the theme that they’re all fictional characters?

laserguru

Retired fictional characters.

Fronkenshteen

THESE PROVIDENCE FRIARS, I CALL THEM LEX STEELE, BECAUSE THEY’RE PUSHING THE TROJANS TO THE LIMIT!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Wasn’t it exciting seeing Yale beat Baylor today? The classic 12 beating a 5.

/ did not watch any basketball today
// pieced together that much being stuck waiting in my car for my mom at her chiropractor appointment that ran 45 min long
/// got nothing else

SonOfSpam

Yale’s best player is a white kid named Makai. Very punchable.

WCS

Adios

Sill Bimmons

Best frame available.

herodotus450

Didn’t Oakleys get bought out by some evil glasses conglomerate? They won’t make curved lenses with Millhouse-esque prescription strengths anymore…

Sill Bimmons

Yup.

Luxottica.

Doesn’t change a thing about who makes the best frame.

herodotus450

But how am I supposed to look “cool” with these “square”, flat lenses?

Sill Bimmons

Not sure.

Doktor Zymm

You shouldn’t sleep with your glasses on.
/always sleeps with her contacts in
//has really healthy corneas
///rarely has an opportunity to be smug about this particular positive anomoly

Unsurprised

My scarred corneas hate you.

Doktor Zymm

I’m hugely nearsighted without my contacts, but didn’t get my mother’s astigmatism, thankfully. In 20 years my vision will probably be bad enough that contacts will no longer be an option, so I’m living it up now.

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

Too late.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe…I knew Sill was gonna yell at youse.

Sill Bimmons

TAKE YOUR CONTACT LENSES OUT AT NIGHT FOR FUCKS SAKE
http://netherlens.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/Figure_3.4713207_std.jpg

Doktor Zymm

My lenses are gas permeable and approved for a month of continuous wear, including sleep. They’re actually really damn comfy. And when I change them I do make sure to sleep without them for a night.

Sill Bimmons

ALL THAT IS JUST WRONG

Doktor Zymm

Oxygen permeable monthly disposables up to 7 days continuous wear.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll admit I stretch that a bit, but not nearly as much as a few years ago when I had weekly disposables.

Sill Bimmons

Except that they’re not.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll leave it to you to sue them for false statements, I haven’t had any problems so far.
http://coopervision.com/contact-lenses/biofinity-contacts

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, me too.

Sill Bimmons

YEAH YOU TOO

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO

Doktor Zymm

Bleergh making an appearance

Doktor Zymm

You say banana, I also say banana.

Unsurprised

God kill me.

Doktor Zymm

Which one?

Unsurprised

Winner’s choice.

laserguru

That’s a good question because there are many Unsurprisedses.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Run Meatwad….RUN!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

READ THAT IN FRYLOCK’S VOICE!

Not sure why I yelled that.

ThePirateSloth

That’s right, you’ve got to be slow and steady as a Shocker, none of this scoot and shoot business. You got to take your time.

bourb0nblues

I’m taking this to work tomorrow and reaping the benefits.

Unsurprised

Los Angeles sounds fun af.

“I’m telling you, it’s 2016 and no different. There’s a giant billboard above Whole Foods for [teen] model escorts.”

ballsofsteelandfury

Pretty much!

SonOfSpam

/looks over at teenage daughter
//drinks yet another beer

Unsurprised

I hear suicide is painless.

Unsurprised

That’s my understanding of the city.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look…’Zona airball.
/no longer news

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Gabe York is a horrible player. It shows how untalented this team is that he’s the “shooter”.

Unsurprised

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herodotus450

Bah, all I can tell is that she is from some modeling agency called wilhelmina; no name, address, eye color, likes, dislikes, marital status, phone number, nothing.

Unsurprised

Bryana Holly. She’s swell.

BOOBSSSSS https://t.co/4x3kplYHtb— THE GLITTER QUEEN (@Lukedavisgrey) March 17, 2016

SonOfSpam

IceRams and IceGiants tied 1-1 after the 1st.

Also, “NBC Miami reports Ravens CB Tray Walker is in critical condition following a motorcycle accident.”
Kids, I can’t stress this enough: Do not ride motorcycles. (For once, nothing sarcastic there.)

bourb0nblues

My uncle has broken both legs on a motorcycle… he told me this story when I was 10.
I regret nothing.

SonOfSpam

As long as you’re drinking bourbon, you’re ok.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I don’t need an excuse to dress all in leather.
I do have my M license, but that’s just because I took the 3 day course when I was gathering skills I might need if I got sucked into an action movie/Bond film type situation.

SonOfSpam

Well, obviously. That’s just good planning.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm….anyone else gonna ask?

SonOfSpam

What, you haven’t signed up on her site yet?

theeWeeBabySeamus

DON’T YOU TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

One letter can make a big difference. “Seton Hall is in an offensive fuck” totally different than “funk”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Geez ‘Zona…can you TRY to not look like warmed over ass for a FEW minutes at least?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Please tell me the FBI is going to raid their locker room after this game and start arresting guys for conspiracy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

My father was sort of proud when my brother jokingly told him that one drunken Christmas (Of course, everyone was always drunk at FUBAR’s on Christmas)

SonOfSpam

Arizona’s playing like someone surprised them with one in the stink.

(Just got here…assuming that joke’s been done approximately 472 times)

SonOfSpam

“I love beat juice!”

— Aaron Rodgers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s lots of Scotch-Irish in Appalachia, right? So in a certain sense, bourbon is kinda sorta appropriate for St. Patrick’s Day.

ThePirateSloth

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Good eatin’ right there.