Basketball Coma – Thursday Evening Edition

Oh well, brackets are dead. Now, we can excise our souls of filthy lucre, and focus on the purity of hate.

14S Buffalo vs. 3S Miami (6:50, TNT)

Behold, the bland competence of Jim Larranaga and the prettay…prettay good Miami Hurricanes. If you can look past the fact that NC State whipped their asses. I wouldn’t count on Buffalo circling the wagons on them tonight, though.

12E Chattanooga vs. 5E Indiana (7:10, CBS)

This one screams “upset city” to me, so if you are gambling-inclined, bet the mortgage/food/insulin money on the Hoosiers.

16(T)E FGCU vs. 1E U*NC (7:20, TBS)

SO MANY INITIALS! As a red-blooded American (whose alma mater has never been a 1 seed in the expanded format era, if ever), I always root like mad for the 16 seed in their Quixotic quest to topple the windmillian #1. I assure you I have never done so harder than I will tonight. AMERICA NEEDS YOU, valiant soldiers of the Credit Union squadron.

14MW Fresno State vs. 3MW Utah (7:27, truTV)

Oh, hai there, Team Secular Big Love, hoops edition. Are you any good? Not really, huh? At least you’re honest. Still probably enough to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and almost certainly enough to get past this ragtag bunch.

11(T)S Wichita State vs. 6S Arizona (9:20, TNT)

Wichita State advanced by 20 in the play-in game, and looked like shit doing so. That’s quite difficult to pull off. Nobody fucking knows what to expect out of Sean Miller’s bunch, last seen getting their pants pulled down around their ankles by a gaggle of Ducks (and no, that better not be the last Oregon rape joke we read on DFO tonight).

13E Stony Brook vs. 4E Kentucky (9:40, CBS)

Caffeinate for this one, it could be interesting. Kentucky is an up and down team, and the Seawolves have a REALLY good power forward who could make things mighty uncomfortable for Coach Cal’s bunch.

9E Providence vs. 8E Southern Cal (9:50, TBS)

MOAR offensive basketball, huzzah! The Men of Troy are led by Coach Andy, the man who led the aforementioned Credit Union side when they had their “Dunk City” S16 run. Beet juice is apparently their secret now, so look for frequent “coach, I need to take a shit” timeouts. Also, Providence is better than people think. Dangerous team if they make it through.

11MW Gonzaga vs. 6MW Seton Hall (9:57, truTV)

Ah, Gonzaga. Finally, having fallen out of favour with the committee, and having burned through all of their ancient Cinderella fan goodwill…watch the fuckwads stop fucking around and start winning games now that nobody’s picking them. There IS some talent there. And the Hall may just have shot their wad taking out Nova for the conference crown.