Basketball Coma – Thursday Evening Edition

Oh well, brackets are dead. Now, we can excise our souls of filthy lucre, and focus on the purity of hate.

14S Buffalo vs. 3S Miami (6:50, TNT)

Behold, the bland competence of Jim Larranaga and the prettay…prettay good Miami Hurricanes. If you can look past the fact that NC State whipped their asses. I wouldn’t count on Buffalo circling the wagons on them tonight, though.

12E Chattanooga vs. 5E Indiana (7:10, CBS)

This one screams “upset city” to me, so if you are gambling-inclined, bet the mortgage/food/insulin money on the Hoosiers.

16(T)E FGCU vs. 1E U*NC (7:20, TBS)

SO MANY INITIALS! As a red-blooded American (whose alma mater has never been a 1 seed in the expanded format era, if ever), I always root like mad for the 16 seed in their Quixotic quest to topple the windmillian #1. I assure you I have never done so harder than I will tonight. AMERICA NEEDS YOU, valiant soldiers of the Credit Union squadron.

14MW Fresno State vs. 3MW Utah (7:27, truTV)

Oh, hai there, Team Secular Big Love, hoops edition. Are you any good? Not really, huh? At least you’re honest. Still probably enough to get to the Sweet Sixteen, and almost certainly enough to get past this ragtag bunch.

11(T)S Wichita State vs. 6S Arizona (9:20, TNT)

Wichita State advanced by 20 in the play-in game, and looked like shit doing so. That’s quite difficult to pull off. Nobody fucking knows what to expect out of Sean Miller’s bunch, last seen getting their pants pulled down around their ankles by a gaggle of Ducks (and no, that better not be the last Oregon rape joke we read on DFO tonight).

13E Stony Brook vs. 4E Kentucky (9:40, CBS)

Caffeinate for this one, it could be interesting. Kentucky is an up and down team, and the Seawolves have a REALLY good power forward who could make things mighty uncomfortable for Coach Cal’s bunch.

9E Providence vs. 8E Southern Cal (9:50, TBS)

MOAR offensive basketball, huzzah! The Men of Troy are led by Coach Andy, the man who led the aforementioned Credit Union side when they had their “Dunk City” S16 run. Beet juice is apparently their secret now, so look for frequent “coach, I need to take a shit” timeouts. Also, Providence is better than people think. Dangerous team if they make it through.

11MW Gonzaga vs. 6MW Seton Hall (9:57, truTV)

Ah, Gonzaga. Finally, having fallen out of favour with the committee, and having burned through all of their ancient Cinderella fan goodwill…watch the fuckwads stop fucking around and start winning games now that nobody’s picking them. There IS some talent there. And the Hall may just have shot their wad taking out Nova for the conference crown.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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theeWeeBabySeamus

If I’m going down (giggity) I’m taking you all with me.
You’ll see…YOU’LL ALL SEE!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrqrpMFxMo8

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Have we already had the stupidest baseball story of the year with the Adam LaRoche thing?

Doktor Zymm

I’m planning to write a one day study of Cubs fans, it promises to be pretty stupid.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I’m looking forward to it. I’m curious if Cubs fans will be drunker with the team competitive.

SonOfSpam

Well, at least his son isn’t going to grow up an entitled ignorant little shit.

(Vote Drake LaRoche 2048 GOP)

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Future Affluenza sufferer.

Shockers bringing out the big guncomment image?w=510

laserguru

Now I’m off to head upstairs for the traditional “smoking of the green.”

Erin go bong!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Is there a college abbreviated Sand? Cause I would watch Sand @ Wich

herodotus450

South Albany Nautical Division ?

Doktor Zymm

Good enough for me!

litre_cola

The fighting Pipers, so much grit.

herodotus450

SO much grit, in all the wrong places.

SonOfSpam

comment image

ThePirateSloth

Stick around for the Minor League Championship game Hand @ Held.

Doktor Zymm

Gah!

Doktor Zymm

Unless this is the mascot of one of the teams :
http://images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org/01/4/4/1/2051893736646760.jpg

ThePirateSloth

HAHAHAHAHA I love that guy. He is so damned happy to be such a huge dick. He’s my mascot.

blaxabbath

Arizona is just getting lit up by Hornberger.

comment image

Unsurprised

r/Portland headline of the day: “At ground zero of gentrification, N Williams, we now have a ‘British Colonial’ restaurant”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

I haven’t been watching any of the Wichita St game, but please tell me that an announcer has at the very least used “lightning fast/quick” at least once.

litre_cola

So commentists, at a Jesus school like Baylor (good work fuckos), or Gonzaga etc, do you have mandatory I love religion classes? Obv BYU does, I know this, but are the others as hardcore?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Baylor, when my friend attended, apparently outlawed dancing. Baylor is the town from Footloose.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit….now that song is gonna be in my head for days.
Thanks for that.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

It’s what you get for trying to steal Sill’s pretzel.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But, but…he’s got that whole big cookie.
And I raised my hand and everything.
NOT FAIR!!!!!!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Go to your cage.

Closet.

Room, that’s what I meant.

laserguru

I wondered the same thing about Loyola Marymount.
It’s probably doubtful.

Doktor Zymm

Gonzaga -> Gorgonzola -> Gonzo -> I wish Hunter S Thompson was alive to write about this election

WCS

He’d commit suicide all over again at the prospect of a Trump/Cruz presidency.

laserguru

Jesus god his takes would melt the sun.

Rest in peace in the stars good Doctor.

Doktor Zymm

Coincidentally, melting the sun is MY presidential platform. I have not enjoyed widespread support.

laserguru

Bunch of short-sighted pansies.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’d be able to see better if the sun was melted

Senor Weaselo
blaxabbath

I didn’t know Sprite still existed outside of Grant Hill’s house.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I always root for the school that seems to have it worse, campus or geography-wise. In other words, GO PROVIDENCE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

So, I’m going to see Crazy Steve v Space Jebus because I’m a sucker, but goddamn. It just looks like they read Dark Knight Returns and said “OK, we’re good here.” I mean, sure, I loved DKR but, for Pete’s sake, it’s a damned Elseworlds, and you’re basing your multimillion dollar franchise on it?

Let’s go Papists

Unsurprised

Pacific Northwestern, I assume.

Unsurprised

Indeed.

Doktor Zymm

My bracket was initially so promisingly crap, but I picked against Arizona. Oh well.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You are an….
[sunglasses]
…up and comer.

litre_cola

Zags underrated this year?

bourb0nblues

Most likely.

litre_cola

Watching Gorganzola v Sitting in the Hall, Is Arvedis Sabonis in the house?

WCS

Indeed. That 11-10 score five minutes in has been thrilling.

blaxabbath

The nice thing about Arizona completely shitting the bed in the first round is that Trier will probably have to come back for a sophomore season.

laserguru

Holy shit, I’m home. I’ve been here for 12 minutes and I’m on my third beer and I’m ready to pour my second shot of Jameson.

As the Irish say: “a ligean ar a bheith deoch fuilteach!” or
Let’s have a fucking drink!

Fronkenshteen

*clink!*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

I laughed out loud at this and the mrs looked at me like I am a psycho. Yes I still have blood on my shirt from chopping up that tenderloin.

blaxabbath

HEy all. Anyone else watching Arizona play the worst tournament game in history?

WCS

Visual approximation:

h
ttp://img.gawkerassets.com/img/17f8070g6rgbwgif/original.gif

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

This is HILARIOUS. Arizona looks like a peewee team that just ran into a team with mustaches.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, and none too pleased.
My bracket can withstand USC going down (giggity).
But my faith in Sean Miller and his merry band of assholes is about to sink my bracket for good if dey don’t get dey shit togethah.

Senor Weaselo

Stony Brook sees Arizona and calls.

blaxabbath

This season has been Arizona’s year to pay its dues for the teams they’ve had the last couple years.

Everyone had this team written off in Feb. We’re all looking forward to next year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha!!!! November!!!! And next year looks worse for us!!!!
We win!!!!
No…wait.

Doktor Zymm

Mmmm, Me likey Fullers. ALL THE ESB FOR ME.

WCS

“He looks like someone with a child porn collection.”

— wifey, unprompted, when seeing Wichita State coach Gregg Marshall

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Your wife is awesome.
I’d try to steal from you if you hadn’t already knocked her up and stuff.

Moonbatting Average

THIS TOP CHEF FINALE I CALL IT THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY BECAUSE BALD WHITE DUDES ARE WINNING

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

I’m 0% Irish, and I’m still drinking. Drinking on St. Pad’s is AMERICAN not Irish. In Ireland this is a goddamn religious holiday.l

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Lock up your prepubescent sons” religious?
Or just like, “hunt for decorated eggs” religious?

Doktor Zymm

Like, “Let’s all dress up in some vestments and walk around holding the fancy cross on a stick and maybe sing some stuff” religious

theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooo….the first one.

Horatio Cornblower

And so Horatio reaches that part of the St. Patrick’s Night where the question becomes, do you go for that 6th high octane beer, along with random shots of Jameson’s, or do you call it quits, ready to rise tomorrow and do it again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NxMlG3M40k

Good night sweet alcohol. I shall see you tomorrow!

WCS

Pansy.

Senor Weaselo

Give ’em here, haven’t drank anything today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

They are REALLY HAPPY about those weiners, eh?

litre_cola

That i one of the creepiest things I have seen in our rive brogs in years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I suggest not going on the open threads when I can’t sleep…..

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

That is HAUNTING.

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit Stony Brook made a shot! Oh, but then the next one got blocked.

Shogun Marcus

By and large I have future joy. Joy that I live in this day and age and what the future will bring. I do not yearn for the past most of the time.
However I did grow up in a time where Taco Bell did NOT have a “breakfast” menu.
Those were the daaaaays…

Horatio Cornblower

Providence and USC seem determined to show that neither should have been in the tournament.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mission Accomplished.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Hey guys, we hurt Dreamhost’s feelings and they rebooted our server. That should help with the kick-offs. Please, guys, when you have these kinds of problems over more than a day or so, let me know on the contact DFO page.

Sill Bimmons

THAT WAS ME WHAT TOLD HIM YOU GUYS WOO

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sill is teh awesomestest.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really didn’t want to laugh at this.
Am still laughing at this.

herodotus450

comment image

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Good boy, Sill. You get a full-sized cookie tonight. Not a Nilla Wafer, a mall cookie.

Horatio Cornblower

Whoa, whoa, whoa WHOA! No one said anything about TWO cookies Sill, let alone creme filling.

Sill Bimmons

It’s all in the contract Lawyer Boy.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Dammit, I knew I should have gone pretzel. My $12 in DFO shares can’t pay for that!

theeWeeBabySeamus

/raises hand
I’ll take the pretzel if Sill doesn’t want it.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

ZERE IZ NO PRETZEL

litre_cola

Sill u da bestest

Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I read that at first as Dreamboat’s feeling. HOW CAN THE PATRIOTS BE RUNNING THIS SERVER!!??

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

You didn’t know? I’M TEDI BRUSCHI

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That explains why it kept jamming.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

nice!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Something, something…underinflated…something, something.
/come back to me…I’ll work on it

Unsurprised

To steal Horatio’s comment, at least I’m not in New Mexico.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

He just wants you to be clean; or maybe to get really smashed on ass vodka.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ass Vodka?
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

God help me…why did I click that link?????????
IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!!!!!!!

Gratliff

Alright, Flyers West. Time to embarass the Rags.

Doktor Zymm

Gonzaga always makes me think of Gorgonzola.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because of the times they blue it?

Sill Bimmons

Jesus.

What would Jagr, Jokinen and Paul Martin be contributing to the Ice Stillers in place of Fat Fucking Phil?

Horatio Cornblower

Not as many hot dogs, that’s for damn sure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

He has a skin disease that causes bald patches.

Horatio Cornblower

This one’s even better and there’s about 8 in my fridge, but at 8.2% getting into those means forgoing tomorrow.

http://thebrewbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Haze_Brewbuzz-5.jpg

litre_cola

What’s a tomorrow?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pussy.
I’ll email you the final score just to fuck with you.

Doktor Zymm

Goddamn 3 seeds, driving up my bracket score.

Senor Weaselo

Well, can’t lose them all.

Doktor Zymm

I lost sole possession of 41st place! I’m tied for 40th now, THIS WILL NOT STAND.

Horatio Cornblower

38th place or bust!

WCS

Stony Brook: Offensively offensive

There’s a drink called Van Vleet.

Made with Beefhearter gin?

Horatio Cornblower

St. Patrick’s Day and a bottle of Jameson’s in the house?

Hold my coat while I go to hell.

bourb0nblues

There’s no place like home.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

When I break this dry thing, I’m busting open a bottle of Connemara to celebrate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

NAILED IT

theeWeeBabySeamus

Geese are dicks.

Shockers givin’ Zona the stink and are giving it hard.

Horatio Cornblower

The green beer I am abusing this evening.

http://www.mybeercollectibles.com/uploads/4743ef21d9bdc74aed29194d9b0d5f29_640x640-(2).jpg

Accept no substitutes.

bourb0nblues

Arizona looks like garbage.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, we should just give the whole state to Mexico.

Horatio Cornblower

“At least we’re not New Mexico!”
-A. Rizona