Awaking From the Basketball Coma (Sunday No-Funday Preview)

The last day of the coma is always such a bummer, because all I can think about is how close to being over it is, and the looming specter of fucking Monday. Also FUCK YESTERDAY.

7S Iowa vs. 2S Villanova (12:10, CBS)

The ultimate acid test in “just how cursed is Jay Wright?” Iowa did everything in its power to choke away its 1st round game, yet somehow beat Temple on an OT buzzer-beating tip-in. Still, they give the impression of being held together with duct tape and chicken wire at the moment.

14E Stephen F. Austin vs. 6E Notre Dame (2:40, CBS)

Not exactly the matchup the suits expected when this game was allotted an exclusive national slot, I’m guessing. The Irish are pretty consistent offensively, so I doubt the cards are there for SFA to beat the house again and crash the Sweet Sixteen party. They still have the tourney’s best beard, though…

10W VCU vs. 2W Oklahoma (5:10, CBS)

These aren’t the Rams of yesteryear, Boomer Sooner should roll in this one. Iowa State has already slain its early round demons, so perhaps Lon Kruger gets to do the same. Would love to see both squadrons in the Final Four.

15MW Middle Tennessee vs. 10MW Syracuse (6:10, TNT)

Jim Boeheim’s briliant “win one for Scotchy!” motivational campaign is paying off, even working reverse mojo on Sparty. I have no idea if the Blue Raiders will even get off the bus for this one, coming off the immense sugar high of Friday’s fun.

13S Hawaii vs. 5S Maryland (7:10, TBS)

I have been wrong in all of my similar pronouncements…but I think this will be a very fun game to watch for the neutral viewer. The Rainbow Warriors could give the Turtle significant trouble, but a veteran team won’t fold as easily as Cal did.

11W Northern Iowa vs. 3W Texas A&M (7:40, truTV)

For two more hours tonight, truTV gets to be a thing again! Hashtag, suckmyass.

7E Wisconsin vs. 2E Xavier (8:40, TNT)

Unleash your inner Catler, everybody. DOOOOOOONNNNNNN’T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRE

8W St. Joe’s vs. 1W Oregon (9:40, TBS)

Will I DVR this, just in case Toddler Blood Martelli pulls it off? MAYBE.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

I CAN’T STOP THE TEARS

scotchnaut

Big Shoutout to EastLink-the ISP that kept almost 150,000 sons o’ bitches in northern Ontario from typing their stupid screeches for more than nine hours. #luvya!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fucking Canadia, man.
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Sill Bimmons

That’s the kind of quality that results in a #10 vs. #15 matchup!

herodotus450

I always get confused, was Stephen F. Austin the original lead singer of Van Halen or was it Steely Dan?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

GMC Canyon?

Come on GM.

You could have done the right thing:

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ThePirateSloth

Haha terrible UCONN parent is already back home from Buffalo Wild Wings. Now her shitty kids can whine to her while “art school” dad fucks off and finds a better family.

ballsofsteelandfury

If anyone understands spanish and wants to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching a classic comedy, click play on the link below:

WCS

Grittiest, scrapiest, loves-the-game boat ever:
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Sill Bimmons

That’s not healthy.

JustStopDude

I really fucking hate the State Farm commercials…but honest to god, from a concept point, “The Hoopers” is better than 90% of the shit being green lit on network TV.

Methinks we have another Caveman TV series thing…

http://images.nymag.com/images/2/daily/entertainment/07/09/27_cavemen_lg.jpg

Sill Bimmons

Yeah, but the most of the guys on “The Hoopers” ads have real, better paying jobs in the basketballing arena of the teevee box filling industry.

JustStopDude

I actually like the Caveman show. I will watch anything with Kroll in it.

herodotus450

notre dame shuldve declined the 4 point play their if they were real christians its the holy trinity not the holy foursome smgdh,,,

herodotus450

90% of these commercials are also about basketedball in some way; I’m already watching it, what is the point?

herodotus450

Did you know cancer can affect the breast?

Sill Bimmons

You didn’t write it in pink, so no.

Sill Bimmons

MOAR SINGIN REDNECK CIRCLE JERK PLEEAZE

ThePirateSloth

My best friend of 30 years…. oh fuck we’re old… went to SFA, he’ texted me 30+ times all morning. Guy is beyond ecstatic SFA is looking this good, though he also knows they won’t last past the next round.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ND huddle: Is Mike Brey gon’ have to choke a bitch?

Sill Bimmons

Wow.

Allie’s head is like 20% of her height.

Not complaining, just an observation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I could make her about 3.2 inches taller later.
/call me Allie

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why is SFA the Lumberjacks? Does Tejas even have trees?

Spanky Datass

Because they like to put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars?
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02738/lumberjack_2738207a.jpg

Sill Bimmons

I hear they also enjoy buttered scones for tea on Wednesdays after they’re done shopping.

ThePirateSloth

East Texas is full of trees.

Sill Bimmons

It’s why the Koch brothers are so heavily invested in paper goods:

Angel Soft:
– Angel Soft Ultra
– Brawny paper towels
– Dixie cups (& napkins & plates)
– Insulair cups
– Perfect Touch cups, paper products
– Quilted Northern
– Sparkle paper towels
– Vanity Fair napkins & paper towels
– Mardis Gras napkins
– Zee Napkins
– Georgia Pacific products

Home/Office papers:
– Advantage
– Image Plus
– Spectrum

Other:
– American Greetings
(Kochs own minority
share)

Building supplies:
– Georgia Pacific

blaxabbath

Sup?

ThePirateSloth
Sill Bimmons

hey

ThePirateSloth

Oregon weather: Hey there buddy, remember when you saw the sun ALL DAY yesterday after not seeing it for what seemed like 8 months? Yea, I was just kidding. You need more grey skies and rain.

Me:comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Hey CT weather, remember when it was 60 all last week and tonight we’re getting 4″-8″ of snow?

Fuck you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, you poor bastards.
I don’t feel so bad about our 80s down to 40s with light rain anymore.
Wooooo!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah Trinity, good for you. It’s not really a secret that I’m a nerdy asshole. But thanks anyway.
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theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well shit, that didn’t work.

laserguru

I feel slightly improved from yesterday and just in time for my annual family “Yay we’re Irish” get together today, don’t ask, scheduling issues.
I’m sure I’ll feel glorious tomorrow.
Should be pretty easy guessing the theme for next week’s Sunday Gravy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Booze….?

Sill Bimmons

You know when you develop a new nagging pain and you’re not even mad anymore because it’s just another in a series of dozens?

http://41.media.tumblr.com/e6798d3bab182512c6e4244cebdcdf07/tumblr_mscx4fbV9p1qg0rnuo1_500.jpg

It’s like that.

WCS

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You know those guitars that are, like, double guitars?

Sill Bimmons

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Horatio Cornblower

I fucking love Ralph’s chocolate microscopes.

Sill Bimmons

“It’s amazing how the emotions change…”

Truly amazing.

Winning and losing the last game you’ll ever play are basically the same thing, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spanky Datass

Winston Churchill V?

Sill Bimmons

“We shall fight in our diapers, we shall fight in our bassinets…”

Spanky Datass

So, about the rocketmortage.kom commercial on CBS: The skinny lady in a dress stares at picture of an octopus attacking a ship and her lady parts get soooooo hot that the fireplace ignites near her crotch? Or m I reading something into this? I need Moose to make a ruling….
http://www.ilovegraphics.net/wp-content/2009/11/Unknown.JPG.jpeg
(Image unrelated to text.)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, the tentacle/ladypart expert is definitely the Moose.
/sentence I never thought I’d say

WCS

Seems like something more in Balls’ wheelhouse.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, Moose posts them, but he does it as a joke to me.

I need more research on this subject…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hmmmm….I am intrigued by this potential backstory.

Spanky Datass

I always thought the tentacle porn joke started in a bracket competition involving kinky stuff at the old place. Fetish bracket, maybe?

Don T

I had a professor just like that.

Sill Bimmons

EAT SHITE SHITE

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ballsofsteelandfury

Well, Barcelona and Villareal tied at 2. This is after Atletico lost to Sporting Gijon yesterday. I guess the league is not such a runaway after all…

litre_cola

Mmmmm Gijon mustard..

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought the same thing, LMAO.
/goes and sits in corner

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spanky Datass

sup
just ate a taco

Sill Bimmons

yo

lunch is gonna be late here

theeWeeBabySeamus

Iowa needs a hug.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh please let this happen.

JustStopDude

other popular name suggestions are “RRS Usain Boat, RRS Ice Ice Baby and RRS Boatimus Prime.”

litre_cola

People are idiots and I absolutely love when PR firms think, Oh this is a great idea, no one would dare ruin it.

Sill Bimmons

I tried to vote but the site wouldn’t load.

Unsurprised

Fuck it. I’m going back to bed.

Croooow

I see the Iowa basketball team decided to mimic the football team’s performance in a post-season game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Carly Fiorina rooting for them again?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m hoping if the blowout persists, maybe we can talk Allie LaForce into a striptease to make things interesting.
But I doubt we have that much luck.

JustStopDude

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Unsurprised

That’s terrifying.

JustStopDude

I want this for my apartment…

http://i.imgur.com/lAxJmOj.gif

Unsurprised

Aww

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cat eating the shit out of some corn (get it?)

Unsurprised

I do now. I forgot who they were playing against.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nepotism is bad.

herodotus450

Is there any other sport where just when things actually get exciting, and indeed because they are exciting, someone calls a timeout?

Unsurprised

Football?

herodotus450

Maybe baseball if you count pitching changes and mound visits (heh, mound visit) but then you’d have to consider baseball exciting in the first place.

Unsurprised

Baseball barely meets the base definition of “activity.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

For the record, I am a huge baseball fan (though I do get that others are not…and why), but I am liking this comment because of the “mound visit” innuendo.
As much baseball as I have watched in my life, this had never occurred to me. Now whenever I hear it, it will never NOT occur to me.
A sincere thank you.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/998d4011244337d7e7a0f80f556665f1/tumblr_nk6r72gSCM1qgd9bmo2_250.gif

JustStopDude

Sooo…struggling not to post a certain gif….

JustStopDude

Ah sheeeet…shoving match on the pitch…full brawl in three…two…

never mind…the players just broke it off.

MLB has better brawls…

Unsurprised

“If I wanted to see two negroes fight I’d throw a dollar bill out my window.” The old-school racism is hilarious.

laserguru

I loved that secretary, for a brief moment.

Unsurprised

The Clio episode where Don gets blackout drunk and Roger is reminiscing about how Don hustled him into a job is great. I wonder if Roger really did say “Welcome aboard” or Don just took his chances that Roger would sooner hire him than admit he’d say something while blacked out.

herodotus450

CBS cumbags, “I saw this player in a moment of solitude and privacy and thought before the game. Let’s see the footage of it!”

herodotus450

Oops, meant scumbags. I wouldn’t want to disgrace cumbags everywhere.

Unsurprised

That reminds me of someone explaining why they don’t call people douchebags because at least those are useful.

So this is just down to Spurs and Leicester, right?

litre_cola

That’s a Texas sized 10-4.

litre_cola

The Gunners are usually the ones who implode, and looking at this game right now it is truly wonderful that none of the “big 4” will win the league and 2 of them won’t be in the Champions League. WHERE IS YOUR MONEY GOD NOW?????

JustStopDude

So its now the Manchester Chevy Dealerships have a 1-0 lead over the Manchester City UAE Airlines.

litre_cola

I enjoy that the American gubmt bailed out Chevy yet they can pay an astronomical amount to be on the Uniteds jersey.

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

Chevrolet sells cars in the UK too.

/it’s still stupid, jussayin’

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK ‘Nova…let’s see if you can avoid a repeat.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry…Threepeat.

Unsurprised

Assholes in trucks.

litre_cola

So anyone watching Citeh v Red Devils?

litre_cola

I agree. As long as The Uniteds aren’t in the Champs league next year, I am good. Would prefer a draw here so Leicester can have more of an overall cushion.

JustStopDude

Honest question…is it “derby” or “darby” they keep saying?

JustStopDude

Related question…why is a soccer team in England named after an airline from the middle east?

This fucking sport is so damn confusing!

litre_cola

Spell it derby, pronounced darby.

JustStopDude

Ah…like “food” is pronounced “Spotted Dick”….

litre_cola

Blood sausage really is delicious, although I also love haggis.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tim Howard signs with Colorado Rapids.
Sorry Hippo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh…..well “Yay Hippo” then instead.
/totally not embarrassed by my futbol stupiditeddiness.

Unsurprised

At least he’s back in America.

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