Well folks, here we are. Down to four, only one #1 seed, but it’s the most evil one of all. Blatant bunch of academic fraudsters, complete with asshole coach who not even veiled subtly threatens minor reporters who dare call out his program and “university” on their bullshit. We need Karma to wake the fuck up, post-haste.
#2S Villanova vs. #2W Oklahoma (6:09, TBS)
Last season, when my alma mater made a surprising run to the Sweet Sixteen, Boomer Sooner was in our bracket. I was also in the habit of speaking solely in Soviet propaganda, as it had been good juju (along with our official talisman, Lenin Cat). As such, we found solidarity with Oklahoma as fellow Reds, and I also learned there are few phrases more fun to type than “Oklahoma Oblast:”
As Buddy Hield and the incredibly well-coached Sooners are the best bet to derail smug-mageddon Monday night, I am strongly urging Red Solidary again. Forward! For Glorious Workers’ Revolution!!
#10MW Syracuse vs. #1E U*NC (8:49, TBS)
Some have noted that Syracuse is also a “cheater” but that would be like equating jaywalking with triple homicide. Tonight, we are all scotchnauts. But I will probably be one from slumber, as I would rather get up early for the Leicester match than get pissed off watching the Holes win.
Last Miranda for now….Cats are starting.
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/replicate/EXID20836/images/ALO-082889(1).jpg
Soooo….I gotta stab her three times?
http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/14/fee87cf0-360e-0132-409a-0ebc4eccb42f.gif
Yoooooooooo
Hoooooooo
http://www.yoo-hoo.com/images/quick-sips/tetrafamily.png
Learned Tanned
http://40.media.tumblr.com/10b3c305a4202e15fc7946b4d37009f4/tumblr_o0jaue5DAk1urfoleo1_1280.jpg
Put some goddamn socks on!
But then she’ll slip off the leather…
At least India sent that poofter Shane Watson home a loser.
That’s fucking awesome.
This would be an acceptable conclusion.
That might be the best Travolta .gif ever, even better than the Alien one.
Hey girl…
http://40.media.tumblr.com/98262f32f13f7f6345147934cc1f6a2a/tumblr_nunogoySLa1tjd582o1_1280.jpg
Pulls down pants while booze shopping.
I LIKE IT!!!!!!!
I think I figured out how she’s going to shoplift that bottle.
Clerk watches, says nothing.
Clerk is usually happy just to not be robbed. This is like finding a winning 10K scratchoff on the floor.
The clerk wants her to find a winning 10K scratch-off on the floor.
Excuse me miss, but you’re in front of the Smirnoff Bubble Gum…
Is anyone else disturbed by the number of flavored vodkas there are now? I mean, I get citrus, strawberry, that kind of stuff, but what the fuck are you drinking that you need cotton candy and bubblegum flavored vodka for? Does that kind of shit come with a NAMBLA membership?
A sorority membership.
http://lushworthy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Pinnacle-Cinnabon-Vodka.jpg
I actually saw that one today and did a double take. Just in case the booze alone doesn’t give you diabetes fast enough.
Speaking of tan lines.
http://celegram.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Screen-Shot-2014-04-29-at-13.32.41.png
http://40.media.tumblr.com/c7984ab59883994bd4cc66db72beacd0/tumblr_o1hc8vKhFL1rhkqdeo1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKETOKAO0A
I assumed that would’ve been the video for Bitch Better Have My Money.
Enjoy the dickens out of it and…..SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIEHOLE ROY!!!!!!
Gawd I hate those facking facks.
Roy Williams insists that his players attend church services for at least their first year at UNC.
Apparently he’s far more flexible about them attending actual classes.
Wife just woke up to realize we’ve been watching MMA for the last five minutes.
“Oh, I fall asleep and you put your gay porn on?”
YEAH SO SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN
Not only do I understand the words your wife used, I understand the order she put them in.
You not so much.
Main Line pocket-squares vs. the Shitheels
http://media.giphy.com/media/5iVP2xmU0hmBW/giphy.gif
The game of the century.
http://img.memecdn.com/just-fuck-everything_o_610689.gif
That would actually be a great title for a “The Gang Vs. Merion Douchebags In Something Humorous” episode.
Way too skinny here, but still manages beaucoup cuteness…
http://wowoon.com/anh/2015/28-12/miranda-kerr-miranda-kerr-mirandakerr-bathing-suits-bikinis-body-inspiration-summer-fitness-motivation-thinspiration.jpg
http://i0.wp.com/sexynude.info/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/miranda-kerr-nude-251026-8.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Jgc-vQ1t70k/TOTnq6MlP3I/AAAAAAAAAMM/V1h7M0zzyj8/s1600/Miranda-Kerr-nude-topless-GQ-02.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Jgc-vQ1t70k/TOYPtl3-seI/AAAAAAAAAOg/JY_GhjAl5hw/s1600/Miranda-Kerr-nude-topless-GQ-07.jpg
Impressive tan lines.
So I do a GIS for “dumpster fire .gif” because I’m looking for a common, humorous visual metaphor to describe the quality of this evening’s basketingballing.
Up pop a bunch of dumpsters on fire, along with the occasional port-a-potty.
Then, amidst the carnage, is this–by far the most dumpster fire-y thing on a page full of dumpster fires:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPVfFzbRuc4
All this is missing is Nacho.
I dunno, man.
That might even be worse than the Buttfumble:
So I know memes are the cancer of the internet, but I found this hilarious:
http://i.imgur.com/NX3YMsj.png
That’s brilliant.
Someone should post this.
It’s an ode to boobs made by boob-havers, for boob-havers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZx5zfkG6oU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXivEpsCveA&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGXivEpsCveA&has_verified=1
It’s all jiggly!
http://114.imagebam.com/download/SUrb3bD6fR6hO34dk3g50g/47557/475563479/image%20copy.jpg
Damned nipple censors.
Don’t blame me. I voted for Nipples.
At least we did better than Oklahoma.
-Syracuse
http://static.thesuperficial.com/uploads/2014/03/31/miranda-kerr-nude-02.jpg
Oh yay. That’s just all kinds of goodness.
“Cool tiger!”
Aaron Rodgers
If you google “Drew Barrymore Hot” you get this…
http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10200000/Drew-Pretty-Wallpaper-drew-barrymore-10281674-1920-1440.jpg
Also this, which is probably air-brushed but I do not care…
There’s never been anything wrong with the way she looks.
Even Moar Dimplez…
(and arguably better)
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/12/30/09/2FAD8E6800000578-0-image-a-21_1451466713888.jpg
Possibly my favorite gif for panicking
Please scream and run around in circles. Thanks for coming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxMr8RO5BAg
Sweet Jesus my wife just started watching a Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore movie.
Someone save me 3 seconds and call 911.
PRAY FOR HORATIO
Go Meteor!!!!
“Hello, 911? Yeah, I have this imaginary friend on the internet… no, I mean he’s a real person… probably. Come to think of it… anyway, his wife is watching a movie… what? what’s the emergency? Well, did I tell you who’s in the movie?”
It’s times like these when blanket statements like “you should never hit a woman for any reason” seem a little overreaching.
Did somebody say BUFFALO WINGS WOO
GET THAT CELERY OUT OF THERE
GET THAT RANCH AND/OR BLUE CHEESE OUT OF HERE TOO!
You’re still hungry for wings?
BUFFALO wings???
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/17470/05_2009/ed187167a32f382d_2915211.xlarger.jpg
I’m having a milkshake and it is DELICIOUS. Frosty chocolate, don’t you know. Gotta appreciate the jimmies on the rim
http://www.agirlinparadise.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Chocolate-Milkshake.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xrw0gbnNuU
Also, they’re sprinkles, goddammit.
“I agree, gotta appreciate a Jimmy on the rim.”
– Aaron Rodgers
I am finishing a salad to assuage my guilt but after that it’s three LARGE scoops of banana chocolate chip ice cream and I REGRET NOTHING!!!!
Yeah, it’s a repeat. Shut up.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9s883Z4CD1qhwpg6o1_500.gif
Just found out a new-ish place down the street from me has duck wings on the menu. Needless to say, I will be patronizing them soon.
Duck is highly underrated.
Best duck place in Paris, nothing else on the menu.
Duck is awesome. There’s a nice wine bar/bistro in my town that has confit leg quarters on the special board fairly often. It makes it hard to try anything else when that’s available.
Mmmmmmm… duck-fat fried potatoes…
I have to believe that there’s a bigger joke than the Rock and/or Roll Hall of Fame; I’m just not sure what it is.
Country “Music” Hall of Fame
FOR BLEERGH’S SAKE
Country AND Western!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS-zEH8YmiM
The Country Music Hall Of Fame?
I stand corrected good sirs.
The fact that it’s in Cleveland? Some of the bands included and others that aren’t?
/Bitter that ELP’s not in yet
Where else were they going to put it?
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–tblcopk4–/1812calxtu7xkjpg.jpg
Completely unrelated: few things in life are more amusing than watching a parent try to figure out a fire stick
So I’m pretty out of the loop on ncaa stuff. What’s the dirt on north Carolina? They’re not even the most hstable team in their own state.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!
I’d love to hear a counter argument
Carolina fucking sucks ass. Arrogant bastards who instituted systematic grade fixing to keep athletes eligible. They should be suffering thru the goddamned death penalty right goddamned now. Instead they’ve deflected and denied just long enough such that THIS despicable team could stay eligible and of course, as always, their goddamned cheating asses have a horseshoe stuck up it bcuz they’ll be playing for another ill gotten Nat’l Championship on Monday.
Did I mention they fucking suck ASS!!??!!!????!!!??
Wow….I might need to call my therapist.
Shows you how out of the loop I am, I completely forgot that scandal. I’m not defending anyone.
I probably still hate duke more. They’re like notre dame, i have never met a single person with any plausible connection to they school but inexplicably have a lot of fans it seems. And I live nowhere near carolina
The local media regularly fellates both. Neither is a bad pick for white hot hatred.
http://37.media.tumblr.com/12c9f8e5cb505099aec5ae8950cb0282/tumblr_n2alf9RRV41rfduvxo1_500.gif
Moar Dimplez…
http://richestcelebrities.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Miranda-Kerr-Net-Worth.jpg
http://49.media.tumblr.com/1e1183916e99d8f97537912b13295b7c/tumblr_o42bk2IeI81tbt5dxo1_500.gif
Looks like Barkley eating that ice cream.
Wow…that sucks.
37??
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_jLlqDrcSYeQ/SqZufK9tqNI/AAAAAAAAAgA/zRJHlKbiagc/s320/Clerks+12.gif
“Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the parking lot”
Love that scene.
Hey, hey you! Get back here!
Gotta say the Cookie Monster Siri commercial is pretty good.
http://blogs.gossip-tv.gr/nassos/sites/default/files/2012/01/MirandaKerrNude.jpg
So my son’s watching “Hateful 8” in one room, but way too far into the movie to just jump in, and in the other room my wife’s watching “San Andreas”, which is fucking terrible.
My options are (a) unheated basement TV or (b) go back to the bar and walk home
Bar. Not even close.
Put on a coat and get your ass to the basement. AFL kickoff is upcoming.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/15c18675cd560c97610234470f32d4c9/tumblr_o4bq5pg12J1ubfgh6o1_1280.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/f5d16e6968316a19ce98f55795d6bd83/tumblr_o4f3qbF4s21uctr63o2_r1_540.gif
San Andreas has Daddario jiggle
Wait for your son to finish Hateful 8 and then rewatch it with him.
Your choice on whether to share a beer with him.
I can think of one or two reasons for San andreas
http://i.imgur.com/EXCxcyz.gif
I’ve already seen it.
For both of those reasons.
Just lookit those dimples….
http://img.pandawhale.com/91595-Miranda-Kerr-blows-kiss-gif-im-MyL6.gif
I drink too much…
SOMEONE WAS CUTTING ONIONS DAMMIT
Yeah, I remember the night I lost my virginity too.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/0ce39caa37fb2bafb85a879cd5fade4e/tumblr_o4omzfhJtx1t7lixko1_500.gif
Yep, that was pretty much it.
The press conference scene is great. No surprise John Glenn became a politician.
Hawt taek incoming…
Miranda Kerr is sort of cute.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/49ef05706af647b30ced48f94a267fcb/tumblr_o3xns8HqcT1tlb56zo1_400.gif
I have no idea what I did to Buffalo, but their teams like playing spoilers to my teams. Yes, that includes the Bisons, the Blue Jays’ AAA affiliate. 4-3 final.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_medit716tE1qh3r88o1_400.gif
No, ass slaps are not deserved. Not great hustle.
That was more of a caress.
Just saying.
Toronto should be relegated to the OHL at this point. Useless again.
OU should be relegated to high school after tonight.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/92de06e279f3da5a78ce338279bc52ef/tumblr_o2w4o2rDcF1qfr6udo1_500.gif
LEGEND
Saw him and Robin Williams (his idle when Williams was growing up on one of the last John Carson shows, one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, apparently Carson thought so too, he couldn’t even talk.
Those two were All-Americans at the comedy game.
I remember as a kid watching him on something, no remembrance of what, but literally laughing so hard that I thought I was gonna pass out.
Always loved him.
I am so fcukewd up on good beer right now. Fortunatle mty friends and I solced all of out tonw’s finanical priblems so everything’s good in ot town now.
Goddamn when I don’t edit this stuff it almost seems like I’ve had too much to drink.
BOURBLE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
I think it’s beerble.
What ever makes you happy, man.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9spbb6cqM1qbrc7uo1_500.png
I’m gonna need her number…
Pussy
OK, time to party.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e7aa764c8d998e5b3199fa30229a569b/tumblr_o4zf4q7BWI1rojphdo1_1280.jpg
My money’s on the bear.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/04e712d68bf540918ca27adfebb2d78f/tumblr_o3mb8wVBUO1qz66gdo1_500.jpg
So much wrongness, yet so funny nonetheless.
C’mon ‘Cuse…you’re blowing it.
http://cdn3.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/sammi-stahp-gif.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/7a8829559ac326261e12053416480f4c/tumblr_nmjdnt7YpJ1shlauzo1_400.gif
In other news, I just chased a squirrel out of the house. At least this one didn’t drown in my toilet. Country Life, BITCHES!!!!!
If you really lived country life you’da just shot it.
That’s why he had to replace the toilet last time.
Yeah, LOL…that’s why.
I’ve got my niece this weekend. Blowing a squirrel to hell and back would not sit well with a 10 year old.
She did enjoy watching me chase it back and forth for ten minutes tho. Little shithead would NOT go out the damned door.
Progress?
You tell me….
(this is an imgur hosted image and will self destruct in two minutes)
http://i.imgur.com/MWSz5Fn.jpg
http://www.yashuntafun.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/DSC_0021e.jpg
The bitchin’ stereo is ready, baby!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/6370b46e0c3424b8bcfe512fd1a1840d/tumblr_o4mfu4WHHQ1rojphdo1_540.jpg
…dad?
I have to be honest; I’m a little jealous.
Calming
https://vine.co/v/ij1dtlTOurH
http://49.media.tumblr.com/9dcb111024d05382a90d457369eca10e/tumblr_o4ccgbZsOm1sqz6s1o1_250.gif
DAWWWWWWW!!!!!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ecb286d952a2c70c0542bc7fec7ecba1/tumblr_mpf299SZau1qgjkfpo1_1280.jpg
Been watching Season 6 on Netflix. My wife says “I just don’t get that show.”
Grounds for divorce.
She did recognize Archer’s voice and ask if it was the guy who used to be on Dr. Katz.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/32c769e7f797c711648cfb95a9d94841/tumblr_n4t5kef4d11ttpk7to1_400.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/d85a270ff116c0b7398f0db63e68b820/tumblr_o4rzovo4871rojphdo1_1280.jpg
Christmas Ape goes to the 1930s?
while Drew and Maj discuss what to do with him.
His granpa in drag trying to get money from Oly.
The Right Stuff is just a cavalcade of character actors.
One of my comments is awaiting moderation. Who thinks this is bullshit?
More like random.
So your comments need to be more moderate?
This is 100 proof rye and yet I haven’t even felt a buzz drinking it since the first night I got it. I filled a glass full with only 3 cubes and still nothing.
(this is why I hate being fat. As for my hatred of fat people – familiarity breeds contempt)
God damn it, Buffalo. Stop being terrible at what you do.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/7e688679e007be8f8d82517046e7c4bc/tumblr_o4kucyl5lq1thy7vfo1_400.gif
Keep being terrible, but just for the next 11, possibly 16 minutes. Plus shootout. No news about whether my Ice Bills fan is now feeling less smug to me.