It was right about a month ago when I did the first post in this series and as of today I can officially say I am getting better. After walking you through the process, the MRI, the insurance fuckarow and the diagnosis it finally came down to it. I just completed my knee surgery.

About goddamn time.

Although, if you remember the very beginning of this venture I told a story where one of the surgeries (overall surgery #3 or 2nd on the right knee) took about 6 months from the day I walked into the doctor’s office to the day I went under the knife. Having learned much about the vagueries in the American medical systems and having successfully transferred from a “Managed care” HMO to a more selective PPO, I have learned to move the beast along. I refused to just sit back and wait for the doctor to call me since I have learned that way madness lies!

When we last left off I mentioned that I had an appointment with my primary care physician for a quick pre-op check-up then it was off to surgery on Monday the 9th.

The only thing is, since this was a direct referral to my primary care physician I had to see him specifically not just a member of his medical group and, oh yeah he only works a couple of days a week and there is no lab or imaging center on their premises and everything would need to be outsourced and the surgeon needed the results of the exams in his office on Friday and this was the Wednesday before.

Shit. This was going to be close. Since I was the one who forced the issue and took the surgical date specifically to get this done fast I was going to have to get my broken ass in gear. So away I went.

Wednesday morning at 9:00 visit the doctor. I really admire and respect my doctor, he’s just a great guy who is super supportive and just a real joy to talk to. He knows that I’m a reader since I always have a book with me so he mentioned that if I had any extra books lying around maybe I could bring them in some day. Very cool.

Not being able to read the note from my surgeon to this doc since it was scribbled in “doctorese” I had no idea what I was in store for. Basic check of blood pressure, pulse, eyes ears nose and throat, take off the shirt thump on the back, breathe in and breathe out and “When did you have your prostate checked last?”

“No, I swear to God Doc, look, just last year. Really! See? My previous records from Doctor Asshole who I left to come to you? See? Full colonoscopy, EDG, they did everything doc! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!!!”

“Yes, you’re right it’s all right here.”

/almost faints from relief.

Next a lovely EKG where the nursing assistant sticks about 10 of these little sticky squares that have a metal connection on them all over your torso. She hooks these up to the machine and hits the “play” button. Couple of minutes later she says “Wow, you’re levels are excellent.” This is good to know.

Then comes the blood draw. It may seem strange for somebody who has the number of tattoos that I do to be a little skittish around needles but I am. Despite the number of procedures and tests and what-not I still don’t like them. A new assistant comes in with the tray for the blood draw and I notice she is kind of young, like just out of high school young. I tell her that I’ve had a problem or two in the past with blood draws. I have tiny-ass veins and I’ve had them collapse during a blood draw before. Not fucking fun! She gets a little nervous look and goes for a vein near my right elbow. I NEVER watch when my blood is being drawn so with my head turned I ask “Is everything working OK?” she shook her head.

“I’m not getting anything.” with a little nervous look she says “I’ll be right back.” This is when I notice that she took the needle out but just left a fucking hole in my right arm. No swab, no band-aid just a goddamn hole. The door opens and a new tech come in who is several years older, he draws from the left arm and everything worked great. My doctor comes in and says, “Now all we have to do is get that chest x-ray and you’re all set.” Well fuck-a-diddly. There is no radiology equipment on site so I am suppose to go back to the same imaging center that did the first knee x-ray and then the MRI. It’s OK I can do this. I call the imaging center and they are closed for lunch but I am informed I don’t have to make an appointment since a chest x-ray can be done by just walking in! Nice!

About 1:00 or so in the afternoon I head to the imaging center to only be informed that they don’t do x-rays on Wednesday but they do them in Redondo Beach way the fuck south of where I was at. Knowing that time is short I race to Redondo, park, have to walk about a half mile from the parking lot to the x-ray center and am taken right in for the x-ray.

Now I’m done and just have to do surgery on Monday. The surgery center calls at 3:30 on Friday to say that I’m booked for Monday. There we go. Half an hour later my primary care physician called and said one of the test tubes for the blood draw had “expired” and I needed to come in first thing Saturday for another draw. Motherfucker I’m tired of this. So I visit on Saturday morning and I remembered to bring some books, you will be happy to know that I gave him a couple of Daniel Woodrell books to send him down that rabbit hole. Another blood draw is performed and they stuck me in the same vein they did on Wednesday and my arms are now a goddamn mess. I believe a comment I used on Saturday said “I have more track marks than a Baltimore school teacher.” The doctor did say “All of your levels and readings, blood, heart, liver, kidneys are just incredible. Keep up the good work!”

I was so pleased to be informed of this that I went and opened a beer.

Monday May 9th, 2016. Surgery day.

I wake up around 5:15 which gave me just enough time to shower, shave, brush my teeth and get ready to go. When you are undergoing surgery you are not allowed to have anything to eat or drink, including water for at least 8 hours prior to the surgery. I was thirsty as fuck. When you are getting ready to go under you always will be a little nervous no matter how many times you may have done this in the past. I was no exception.

Oldest brother takes me to the surgery center, makes sure I’m checked in and he takes my belongings with him. He will also be picking me up afterwards. Then I sit in the waiting room for over an hour. THIS is why I always have a book on hand, because you never know when you will be forced to wait. Finally I’m called into an exam room to change. I’m given a plastic bag to place all of my clothes and stuff in and am given the standard issue hospital gown and booties plus the little hair net thing. Wait for another 45 minutes. The surgical center is unlike any I’ve been to before. There are three exam rooms, a waiting area and a single room for pre-op/post-op plus the operating room. There are three beds but only two were in use that day. There was the surgeon, an anesthesiologist, and 4 nurses, assistants. All of the nurse/assistants were young and attractive. What a life.

Finally we get to what is hands down the absolute worst part of the entire goddamn thing.

The I.V.

Fuck I hate these things. The nurse was skilled and hit the vein the first time but they have to make sure to really. Jam. That fucker. Up. There. FUCK ME!!!! I noticed that there was a serious blood spray from when she stuck me. Shot up about 2 feet from my hand towards my feet. AHHHHH!!!!

That’s over with and now it’s time to get down to brass taxes. I’m wheeled into the O.R. Holy shit it’s cold as fuck. Oh, nice warm blanket. Hi Mr. anesthesiologist. Nice to meet you.

Informational timeout. During the hours just before the procedure you will be asked 3 questions a multitude of times. Over and over by the entire staff.

1. What are you having done today?
2. When did you last have anything to eat or drink?
3. Are you allergic to any type of medicine?

The surgeon comes in to shake my hand and says “I have 3 questions for you then we can proceed…..”

I respond “Left knee, nothing to eat or drink since 8:00 last night and I’m not allergic to any medication.”

He laughed and said “No more questions then.” then he wrote the word “YES” on top of my left knee. An oxygen mask was placed over my face to “Help you relax while you go to sleep.” I breathe and I don’t feel anything different, I breathe again and notice no change. Breathe….

“Time to wake up Mr. right, You’re all finished.”

Just like that I’m done. I come to my senses really quick which tells me they had a deft hand at the pass out gas. I get dressed, brother picks me up and I go home. After getting home I climb the 4 flights of stairs to get in the front door. Oh yes, I did. Then it’s time to rest on the couch with my knee propped up.

The second day, Tuesday is when you wake up with the real pain. That’s why you’ve been given norco to help battle the pain. I only take the medication for two days then it’s just ice and Advil. On the Wednesday after the surgery I can remove the dressings and take a goddamn shower. RELIEF.

Here is what my knee looked like on Wednesday morning. You can skip it if you want but it’s really not that bad

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The wrinkling at the top of the knee was from the tightly wound surgical dressing.

Thursday, day 3 and I’m feeling just fine. Sure there’s some pain but I’ve been icing down about 4 times per day for at least 20 minutes. Hell I was able to make some breakfast, do some laundry, navigate the stairs and even went outside to water the plants. I am fully weight bearing and I feel really good.

I’ve got a follow up with the surgeon on Saturday, then I’m back to work on Monday.

I hope this series of posts has given you some enlightenment into what it takes to prepare and undergo an arthroscopic procedure on your knee. Yes, it’s always scary but the recovery time is quick and provided you stay active and do the exercises that your physical therapist gives you consistently, there is no reason why you can’t have a full and complete recovery in just a few weeks time.

If I do encounter any challenges during the physical therapy element of my recovery I will share them but I think this is a pretty good stopping point for this series.

Thanks for reading.

Stay strong and active and for fuck’s sake take good care of you knees.