Your “Remember That Thing?” Wednesday Open Thread

I promise no more anti-Toronto ranting today. After hearing about the Cleveland face wash* they received, it’s taken some of the air out of the bandwagon’s tires. Not sure about tomorrow; check with me later.         *Shockingly, not a term found in the Urban Dictionary. Moose?

The banner picture comes from a pretty cool / bad parenting story about a father who wanted to fly near an exploding volcano, and the daughter he was watching that day being brought along while not knowing any better. That she can tell the story makes it cool; they go down in dumbass history if that plane crashes. Reminder: the Mt. St. Helens eruption killed approximately 57 people; “approximately” because they never found all the bodies. The Mom’s reaction was, “They made it home, so why get mad?” Clearly, I was raised in a totally different house.

FYI: May 18th is also

  • the start date for the Seven Year’s War (1756), and the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln winning the 1860 Republican nomination over William Seward.
    • Seward would eventually turn that frown upside-down to become Secretary of State, survive an assassination attempt, and purchase Alaska. TOP THAT CRUZ!
  • the birthdate of
    • Don Martin (artist)
    • Jimmy Snuka (wrestler/manslaughterer)
    • Suze Randall (photographer)

Celebrate the one you want. Google those names carefully; I chose the coward’s way out with my at-work image search.


NFL News & Notes:

  • Coach? The new kid jizzed on the ball again!

    Sam Bradford & Carson Wentz finally had coffee together. I’m sure Wentz talked about his parents, his childhood, and what it was like to go to school in North Dakota, and Bradford probably told Wentz to go fuck himself every five seconds.

  • Andrew Luck said he has “an obligation to keep himself healthy”. No word on whether the fans or the owner feel the same responsibility.
  • The Chargers claimed Zach Mettenberger off waivers Tuesday, because nobody beats the Whis.
    • One story has the Titans trying to trade him during the draft, but no one would part with even a 7th-rounder. That’s gotta feel good.
  • Florio is reporting that the League might retain use of the replay-review pipeline to the league office for reasons other than replay review that was used through the playoffs during the regular season as well. A decision could come as early as next week. Hochuli plans on asking them to track his reps.

Politics: Hillary & Bernie each won a state, but the delegate counts are a wash due to each other’s second-place proximity. Even if she doesn’t win California, Hillary should be the nominee come July. About her inability to yet seal the deal, Lewis Black had a pretty good point about Hillary on “The Nightly Show”:

“The thing about Hillary,” Black said later, “is the fact she never went away. Everyone who ever runs for president goes away. Richard Nixon went away. Mitt Romney didn’t appear until, like, four weeks ago! And then you go, ‘Wow! Oh, wow! I forgot! You’re not so bad!’ She’s the one who’s in the carpool with you for 10 fucking years, and every morning you got that cup of coffee and you’re going, ‘I can’t believe I gotta pick her up again.’”

“Bill accepts your trade!”

Question: what’s left in her or Trump’s closet that could surprise us at this point? Consensus is that BENGHAZI and the emails aren’t enough for anyone outside a Minuteman compound, and Colbert mused last night that “Trump doesn’t let anything go, except aging women”. It’s political fantasy football, but with no commissioner. So, I’m officially starting the rumour (the “u” makes it classy) that Hillary Clinton & Donald Trump briefly dated in the 1980s. It ties in with the conspiracy theory that Trump’s candidacy is actually a favor to help Hillary win.


My brother sent me this link:

I don’t know why it exists; I’m just happy that it does.

Tonight’s action:

NHL: Pittsburgh @ Tampa – 8:00 (Game 3)

NBA: Thunder @ Warriors – 9:00 (Game 2)

I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but we are getting dangerously close to the point in the pre-preseason where the only sports-type things on TV will be the AFL, baseball and poker highlights. Luckily, in Canada, cultural heritage allows us to also carry copious amounts of darts coverage.

https://youtu.be/Wg691Ho8IRU

ONE HUNDRED AND FORRRRRRRRTY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I almost had my first seizure in 6-12 months today. Unlike the other ones where I knew an hour or longer before it happened it was coming on, I went from zero to almost seizing in like 20 min but managed to not fall into complete body failure. I was doing great, felt no after effects, but I need to distract myself with something fun because I just got irritated at something pointless and my face and arms are tingling again

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Agent Carter helped. Thank you. I paired it with getting a bowl of ice cream and I am feeling betterish

Unsurprised

Mmmmm. Ice cream. What kind?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just vanilla and chocolate sauce. I have a bag of frozen mini reese’s peanut butter cups in the freezer I use to top it normally, but went chocolate sauce today.

Unsurprised

That sounds good. I’m partial to varieties of chocolate.

Wakezilla

Damn dude, that’s tough. I hope you’re feeling better.

Unsurprised

Oh shit. The Americans is fantastic.

Unsurprised

I meant this particular episode, and that was before it got to the scene in Thailand.

Unsurprised

Every time I read about something like this, I wish CPS would intervene.

Despite the media humiliations, Cruz talked passionately of his supporters’ resolve. “Just a few days ago, two young kids, ages four and six, handed me two envelopes full of change,” he said. “All of their earnings from their lemonade stand. They wanted the campaign to have it.”
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/r-i-p-gop-how-trump-is-killing-the-republican-party-20160518

Unsurprised
Brocky

I will tell ya, I am not a very big fan of baseball , but holy crap, 3 outs with loaded bases is about as exciting as that sport gets. My god

Unsurprised

It’s fitting that the only strip club I’ve been to is one where the women didn’t get topless or nude.

http://archer.pornhentai.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/33/2014/02/youporn-lana-archer-porn.jpg

Brocky

….. So how is it still a strip club then?

Unsurprised

They remove some clothes.

I don’t know. It was novelty, I guess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Where was that?

Unsurprised

Jumbo’s Clown Room in L.A.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think you went to the circus.

Unsurprised

Yeah, kind of.

Unsurprised

To be clear, Jumbo’s is this tiny hipster Hollywood joint owned and run by a bunch of lesbians.

Wakezilla

Worst. Strip Club. Ever.

Come to Canadia. A non fully nude bar is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Unsurprised

At least they had booze.

Wakezilla

There are peeler bars that don’t sell booze? What is even the point?

Brocky

Cmon cubs:

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WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, one Manhattan down the hatch and it’s time for some video games.

Unsurprised

What are “Things Bin Laden said before the second tower got hit?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that joke….bombed

/ducks

Unsurprised

Yeah.

Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and so on and so on.

Brocky

http://s32.postimg.org/i4mold8zp/Zl8_X4_H8.gif

Evening. Did I miss all the fun

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening

WCS

Ten wins down, six to go, ya dickslaps.

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Unsurprised

Then again, some aren’t crazy; but they are evil.

http://media.giphy.com/media/13M5Svm3UtyzVC/giphy.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s….
….
….
….Great.

Unsurprised

Why are the hot ones always so crazy?

Unsurprised

Bob’s Burgers Live: The Movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw0ISsqzAys

theeWeeBabySeamus

H.Jon Benjamin: Not a great makeup artist.

Spanky Datass

But he’s absolutely correct about “Archer Live”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeaGXjD_iDY

Unsurprised

Oddly arousing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Awwww that’s cute. TB trying to make a game of it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I see doughnut nipple!!!!
/not complaining

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it is too high, but with fakers you never know where they’ll end up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK….which one do I get to break?

Unsurprised

That’s impressive arm strength.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was gonna say that her meat is impressively hard.
But either way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

She needs to be properly lubricated.

Unsurprised

She needs oil. Lots and lots of oil. Like Gulf oil spill amounts of oil.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m819noGf981r55j58o6_250.gif

Wakezilla

This fine ass woman has so much oil on her body, the US army is thinking about invading her.

/rimshot

/would give rim job

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s funny is that I’m actually having salmon for dinner tonight.

herodotus450

Murray?

Unsurprised

I will do anything she says.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never realized Bill had such lovely and supple legs.
Who Knew?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I’d fuck him too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that what I said?
Yeah well, maybe from behind in low light. I’m sure we can figure out the details.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’ve had the game streaming mostly on mute in the background since it started. I’m thinking I might pay attention for the 3rd, but no guarantees, I probably will give up on it quickly again

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure there’s anything that makes me change the channel faster than “Coming up, Mike Milbury”

Horatio Cornblower

That’s certainly, uh, proactive of the Aussies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Next on Oprah.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very good stream of the roundball if anyone needs it:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYX08CHaRidM29nc9VsItqQ/live

Don T

Happy Birthday Don Martin.
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Horatio Cornblower

That “Snap” is a poor sound effect for Martin. Needed more “Fashoonk!” or “Spladamap!”

My favorite Mad sound effect, (I think it was Martin but I’m not sure), was in one of the original EC comics where The Shadow is being shot at but the guy doing the shooting is next to a mirror and the shots are spelled “!malB !malB !malB”

Horatio Cornblower

Aww yeah, that’s the stuff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Yesterday I saw Rob Ryan’s doppelgänger and just now I saw a guy running across the street who looked like Chip Kelly when he was carrying that nerf bat.

Crazy, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We know what happens next. They shouldn’t be solving mysteries without the others.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/2041b06ffdf7146fc6b93711b375938d/tumblr_njun270XMG1u7jvwmo1_500.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

The Mystery of the Constantly Appearing Pizza Delivery Guy

Spanky Datass
Fronkenshteen

Evening boys! I’m still on the grill, but we have a congested waitress here in desperate need of a good hot toddy recipe. I told her I knew just the guys to ask. Help!

Spanky Datass

Hot tea, honey, lemon juice and your favorite brown liquor in a mug. Cinnamon stick if available.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/049d6668a1ddee3d961addacb476cdd0/tumblr_mlo1uznQVq1s4n0vzo1_400.gif

King Hippo

and it’s in that Ole Miss chant, which is really the only time I have evar heard teh phrase…so you may want to say something racialist to it before imbibing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll typically start with a hot cup of basic black tea, add half a lemon’s worth of juice, one and a half ounces of brandy, and as much honey as you like.

Wakezilla

Me 5 minutes ago when I heard that round 2 of the NHL playoffs didn’t once reach the top 30 in programming in Canada

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herodotus450

Are they counting each episode of The Red Green Show separately? Cause then those numbers check out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll admit I loved The Red Green Show.

herodotus450
Wakezilla

How I feel about North American politics/politicians these days:

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Seriously, has it always been this horrendous?

Wakezilla

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Wakezilla

How Trump and Cruz with the GOP went down

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WCS

See: Nixon, Richard M.

Sill Bimmons

Watching this Pens-Bolts series is like watching teams from different planets playing one another.

Wakezilla

Prime Minister and politician that many women (and men) around the world touch themselves too, Justin Trudeau, will be on TDS tonight.

I wonder if he’ll femsplain how it’s totally OK for a feminist to sell arms to a primitive absolute monarchy that enforces gender apartheid.

“Because it’s 2016!”

–Justin Trudeau, probably–

herodotus450

I think you spelled “Pierre” wrong.
-America

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

[Saudi troops fire artillery towards maternity hospital in Yemen from Canadian supplied combat vehicles]

Social Media lib fems: Trudeau is daddy as FUCK

followed by

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indieguy

that’s my biggest concern with hillary and my biggest issue with obama. using popularity and slight of hand to distract the general public into believing you’re ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ while you continue to be dubious at best behind the scenes. I honestly believe sanders would be upfront and honest about his intentions and gum up the political machinations that are already in play and that’s why he doesn’t have many superdelegetes (which seems to me btw to contradict the concept of democracy being about the people).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Defensive Back Mike Wallace

So one of my favorite animators just did a doodle collage. I don’t know jack shit about art, so could one of yall tell me if this sucks or not?
(NSFW) https://www.instagram.com/p/BFevtD5rSsm/

indieguy

I like it. it borders caricature and animation

Wakezilla

I can’t believe a news station in Murrica made a weather woman put on a sweater on live TV.

“My wife hasn’t touched me in 10 years and I’m deeply offended by this boner.

Regards,

Chad”

Meanwhile in the Middle East:

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Gratliff

It’s all fun and games until you get stoned to death on the way out for offending god by exposing your shoulders.

WCS
King Hippo

They’ll be heading to the strip club so they can see some ankle flesh later. BUHLEE DAT!!

Wakezilla

Hey, those are Saudis. And quite frankly, North Americans should be torching the streets with the fact we give the Saudis billions of dollars to uphold values that we don’t have and fund terrorist organizations that hate us.

Unsurprised

They don’t ogle ankles. They just ass rape chai boys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

A salaam alaikum! What’s up?

Wakezilla

The best thing about this year is that we have the Euro Cup to look forward to next month. Which means, acceptable drinking in the afternoon for a month!

Anyone going to tackle previews for that?

In Canadian football news, the Liouns signed former Packers player and former Husky Victor Aiyewa. They also signed a guy named Michael Creear. Michael Sam is already offended that Creear has been accepted by his team and Aaron Rodgers keeps calling him.

King Hippo

oh, DonT has a master spreadsheet for both the Euros and the South American Euros. If’n you want to volunteer for a side or two (I don’t think we have them all covered), drop him a line.

I am going to badly preview Chile and Belgium (even after they pissed me off and left Kevin Mirallas off their final roster).

Wakezilla

I’d be interested in covering a side or two

King Hippo

THAT’S GOOD COMMITMENT TO LESSER FOOTY HUSTLE!!

King Hippo

the darts thing is just fucking weird. Why not just put televise two guys sitting on their barstools drinking beer and belching? Same entertainment value.

King Hippo

Sevilla beat the Redshite in the Europa final today. This made me happy. So much for the British media “written in the stars” wankfest.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…Bradford probably told Wentz to go fuck himself every five seconds.

I don’t see Sam Bradford being aggressive or confrontational about the whole quarterback situation with Carson Wentz; I suspect more than anything he just feels hurt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, but see…