Your “WHOOOOO!!! FOUR-DAY WEEKEND!!!” Friday Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
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Brevity is the soul of wit. Well, Hamlet was a whiny little pissant.

“Oh, I want to be king, but my mother married a douchebag, so I can’t. Why’s he trying to be my dad? Besides, my real father abandoned me, so now I have to raise myself.”

Brevity is also the nature of the Open Thread. My agenda for the holiday weekend is thus:

  • Today – drive to Whistler with relatives. Find bar.
  • Saturday – whale watching tour with relatives. Hit bar upon return to dry land.
  • Sunday – niece’s birthday party. Five-pin bowling. Beer in plastic cups.
  • Victoria Day – FINALLY see “Captain America” at Cineplex that serves beer.

As you can see, the consistent theme for the weekend is “family”, and the drinking they cause. At least someone else will be behind the wheel, so I can imbibe with (relative) impunity.

Pre-post update: look what I found:

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Tonight’s sole playoff action: NHL: Penguins @ Lightning – 8:00 (Game 4; Penguins lead 2-1)

Have a safe weekend, my charges.

IT MEANS I’M ALIVE!!!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Any of y’all tried that thing where you get the data that Acxiom has on you?

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herodotus450

Just from the name I don’t trust em. Should’ve put the x before the c.

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Doktor Zymm

It looks like they wanted to be Axiom, but got to the trademark office way too late

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herodotus450

Also would have accepted Aksiom, to cater to a certain demographic. Lumberjacks of course.

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WCS

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Beerguyrob

Poison – Talk Dirty to Me

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https://youtu.be/xCChxBSRo1Y

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Man, I just finished the series finale of Banshee and I already miss it. There was nothing like it on TV and I’m legitimately bummed it’s over.

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d106/mskatej/Banshee/bansheejob2.gif

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herodotus450

Well I’ve never watched that show, but it turns out House of Lies has cameos from Eliza Coupe and at&t Lily, as well as featured player Kristen Bell, so it might be a good methadone.

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herodotus450

AND Kim from Better Call Saul? ?!!!

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

ACK! Forgot it’s the last one forever & ever tonight.

Man, I am bummed out now.

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Beerguyrob

Whitesnake – Here I Go Again

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https://youtu.be/i3MXiTeH_Pg?list=PL2E6D867EB67A3481

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Doktor Zymm

I just saw someone use ‘pedastool’ in a very long, poorly reasoned comment, and it just made everything all better.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/1f59b4f9e7c58bfa5de776d97d334a61/tumblr_mpz1up1WqQ1rimr93o6_r1_400.gif

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Beerguyrob

It’s midnight East Coast time. Let’s break out some glam metal.

http://eil.com/images/main/Cinderella+Shake+Me+586488.jpg

https://youtu.be/ptPekKOigkQ?list=PL2E6D867EB67A3481

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laserguru

You found one of my dirty little secrets.

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Beerguyrob

Aww yeah, that’s the stuff.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Something is different, can’t quite put my fingers on it.

http://65.media.tumblr.com/68229bda60bb6beca63f28b0efec523f/tumblr_o19zxpFraT1tof7cco2_540.jpg

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Doktor Zymm

There was an entire session of summer camp one year where we always answered 4:30 if anyone asked what time it was. It took me years to break the habit. I still do it on occasion. No one gets it now, but lying about the time can actually be pretty fun.

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Beerguyrob

Did someone say, “camp”?

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Beerguyrob

And yes – sometimes lying can be fun.

http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/2015/06/30/2ff2a08e-c7a2-4c80-b1b9-5aded81b1d66/paulruddface.gif

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WCS

One of the extremely positive things I can say about Roanoke, VA, is they (used) to have an amazing alt-rock station that would play your standard artists and bands, but many, many of their lesser-known songs. This was one of them.

Of course, that station closed in 2010, because Roanoke, VA is worse than a lacerated kidney infected with used cat litter.

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Senor Weaselo

It is NEVER showtime, however.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b63fgFYUsBs

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Doktor Zymm

You know that informal competition where people see who can go the longest without knowing who won the Super Bowl? Is there something like that for the presidential race?

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WCS

My in-laws would win that every season.

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Doktor Zymm

Public Transit and Game of Thrones. Natural companions.
http://dcist.com/2016/05/red_line_wedding_metro_fires_20_man.php

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Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay

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Unsurprised

Is this how fucking stupid and pathetically and willfully uninformed people are that they had to use her in a bubble bath to explain the simplest part of how Wall Street blew up the economy?

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WCS

Have you met Americans? We’re about to elect an orange-glazed reality star who ended the closest thing to competition the NFL has had in 50 years.

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Doktor Zymm

Why do I never learn not to read comments on local news crime stories? It’s like poking a bruise, except the bruise is super racist.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IMO one of the finest moments in cinematic history.

NSFW.

h

ttp://67.media.tumblr.com/f466a066f0c4a9d0fcb0cdfd275dd132/tumblr_o5illtfSDA1tk3qcmo1_500.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank god they had the helmets.

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Unsurprised

Safety first

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I need to start going to the gym again.

http://116.imagebam.com/download/Ndibn6e0U8VZRIJ0euLalg/48488/484877867/charisma.jpg

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Doktor Zymm

A fine pick up line here would be “You’re going to hurt your lower back if you keep that up”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

TB’s stupid assed blue head to toe unis are pissing me off.
I need a sedative.

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laserguru

Evening Family/

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Unsurprised

Ahoy hoy

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WCS

Ice Stillers radio is still running a Miller Lite commercial from Thanksgiving. As in, it mentions to bring a six pack to “your Turkey Day get together.”

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Doktor Zymm

Perhaps they were referring to celebrations of the Commemoration of Ataturk, Youth and Sports Day, a national holiday in Turkey falling on May 19th? We all celebrated that, right?

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herodotus450

No, no, that’s… uh, Turk E-day, the day the last of the Pennsylvania Fightin 99th left, or Exited, Turkey.

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Doktor Zymm

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WCS

Oh, bullshit. Just enough of a rally to keep me interested.

http://i798.photobucket.com/albums/yy262/expressionofmyemotions/tumblr_mcegsawbO31qf9buqo1_500.gif

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Doktor Zymm

Which sport would you say has the fewest double entendres in its terminology?

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rockingdog

Rugby?

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Doktor Zymm

A brief perusal of a rugby glossary says….no
“A referee may call “Dominant!” as a player is tackled to indicate the dominance of the defender over the attacking player in possession during the contact between them at the tackle.”

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WCS

Definitely not golf.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NASCAR?

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Doktor Zymm

Don’t they all drive stick?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Automatic now.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/a202c54190d559e2536e13c5018386b4/tumblr_o3mhizoHvI1uul2x1o1_400.gif

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Doktor Zymm

I’m kind of thinking basketball, but that’s probably just because I don’t watch much basketball and am therefore less familiar with the language.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ball handler.

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Doktor Zymm

Damn, you’re right

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Any sport that has a ball is screwed from the get go.
Hockey would be the obvious choice in the matter, except they constantly talk about “taking the feed in the slot”. And that’s just too damned easy.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.
(Oh George Carlin, I miss ya.)
Yeah, not baseball.

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Senor Weaselo

Lacro—bahahaha no.

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herodotus450

The porn olympics? Because they’d all be single entendres instead.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Is there such a thing as “Porn Olympics”?
I’d buy tickets to that probably.

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herodotus450

I’m going to assume there is, and it is not nearly as entertaining as it sounds.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally depends on the events in said Olympiad.
I would not necessarily spend money on the ring toss competition.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I might be alone here, but I find Sophie a tad attractive.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/df30a61febbf52ff8a1da381480dc3cf/tumblr_o7i8y719rx1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://67.media.tumblr.com/606a947f83d70d4d92aad8f4ce4cfb0a/tumblr_o4x5se7BLK1r83d7lo10_540.gif

This may apply to other things.

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is still goddamn funny.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s an old school racket. (Should I really say “No one plays with wood like that anymore”?)

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ballsofsteelandfury

Dok, did you PUT THE TIP IN?

I’m speaking, of course, of our AFL Footy Tipping contest.

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Doktor Zymm

Yup! Just now with the reminder though…I’m guessing they have some sort of reminder email box I should check. Luckly my technique of picking the favorite with a couple of random upsets thrown in with no research whatsoever is pretty quick.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That or a cat gut joke works for me.

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herodotus450

My wood won’t last long in her hands. Because wood racquets break easier than more modern composite-based ones, you see.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Also….jizz.

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Doktor Zymm

It’s true, modern racquets also have a larger sweet spot.

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herodotus450

If they don’t fit right in your hand, you can always wrap them up… with grip tape to prevent tendonitis.

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WCS

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What in the actual fuck?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite? No idea what it’s from. Just stumbled upon it and thought it was “wicked awesome”…so to speak.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s from…

http://files.scary-movies.de/piranha-3d.jpg

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re a gotdammed multimedia encyclopedia.
(and hey…that rhymes)

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ballsofsteelandfury

At least it wasn’t white.

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WCS

Truth be told, I’d rather get blown out than lose in four overtimes.

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WCS

It must really burn when he jerks off.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Visine is his friend.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t backtracked to find if this was already discussed. But what Holiday Weekend are we talking about? I thought that was next week. Or is Rob observing some kinda Justin Beiber Canadia bullshit holiday on Monday?

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herodotus450

I was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to look like a foolish american and ask what holiday we’re talkin bout. Also would explain the 4 day weekend part, since the exchange rate is so bad.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh FFS…I fricking knew it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria_Day
C’mon Canadia!!!!!!!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Canadian holidays always arrive earlier than ours….

/premature ejaculation joke

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That outfit is pretty tight…..

Oh.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/5bff7bc61ac559be45171a762d05b3f1/tumblr_npcui5vnhM1uvsr8mo1_250.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Painting stars has never been so….intriguing.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Latin game show, right?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit Grandma!!!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Ice Yinzers.
I apologize…I hath jinxed thee.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, my grandma coulda nailed that shot.
And she’s been dead for 15 yrs.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey 13 years ago…..

Oh, shit.

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herodotus450

For your consideration:
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herodotus450

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WCS

The Cleveland Cavaliers mascot looks different.

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herodotus450

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5KxZ5Lc_YA

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