Your “Super Bowl LV Should’ve Been in Vegas” Wednesday Open Thread

Because we all need to hear more about this!

Landing like a wet turd yesterday was the announcement that Atlanta (2019), Miami (2020) and LA (2021) would host Super Bowls LIII, LIV & LV respectively. Lord knows each town has the available hookers & drug supply to handle the job. I’m sure the new Atlanta SphincterBowl and LA’s KroenkeWorld will be sheer palaces of excess that’ll make JerryWorld look like garbage. I’m sure South Beach can compensate for Miami’s other shortcomings.

However, looking at this list, I feel fairly confident we will again fail to have a home team playing in their town’s Super Bowl before 2022.

Arguments have been raised that the game should no longer be at a “neutral site”, but at the stadium of the team with the best record. That’s ridiculous, because what town could possibly prepare for a 80,000 person convention in two weeks? Taking a practical look, let’s use Green Bay.

I’ve been to Lambeau Field:

  • Milwaukee’s General Mitchell airport (MKE) couldn’t handle the traffic surge, and O’Hare is 2.5 hours away
  • the interstate up to Green Bay is a two-hour drive under the best conditions. It’s a state highway from both Madison & Minnesota.
  • guaranteed sellouts means there hasn’t been enough tourist infrastructure built up in the Green Bay area to accommodate the sudden influx.
    • unless you pay the premium, most hotels are in Appleton, 30 minutes away.
  • they’d have to deputize the National Guard in order to provide enough security.
  • “This is Peter King live at Brett Favre’s Steakhouse…”
  • February 5th in Green Bay.

Which raises an interesting point: why not a pure neutral-site Super Bowl? Maybe not all the time; how about once every 5 years? Put it in a city that has no NFL ties. Rog has such a hard-on for the international market – let London or Mexico City host in 2022. (Providing, of course, God-Emperor Trump allows international travel.) Or, to accommodate the “AMERICA FIRST!!1!1” crowd, pick cities that don’t have an NFL team. They’ve punished Hawaii with enough Pro Bowls, let them have a real game for once. Why should Columbus or Tuscaloosa lose out, simply because they don’t have an NFL team; thanks to university “donations” and tax laws, those stadiums are better suited for the big game than Jacksonville or San Diego. They’ve held the game at Stanford and the Rose Bowl, so why not The Big House?

Worse things have been played there in the snow.

Or, they could just accept being the whores that they are, and do what’s right: Las Vegas. It’s got the infrastructure, if not the stadium. But what billionaire and mayor wouldn’t make that happen as part of “developing” the UNLV campus, especially if there were a shot at Super Bowl LVI? Hell – they gave LA #55 and that stadium is still a tract of dirt in Inglewood. The Vegas mob is surely easier to negotiate with than the 111th Street Crips. And I’m sure the “gambling issue” – if not acknowledged – can be easily papered over with donations and misdirection.


Speaking of Vegas, it looks like Rog is still intent on making Oakland beg. He wants to keep them in Oakland, methinks because the League would collect more in expansion fees than they would via relocation. He won’t come out and say that, of course, so he hides behind the usual bailiwick of gambling. But it seems Kraft and Jerrah have come around on the deal, which is shocking given their A-1 stances on moral issues.

I point this out because someone at sports aggravator Bleacher Report asked Mark Cuban about the costs of NFL expansion. Cuban said that the fees would range into “the billions”. The League gets relative peanuts if Mark Davis moves the team. Failing to land that whale could be the only thing that would bring down Rog.


Let your magic change these words, Jubliee.

Oh god – it sounds like “X-Men: Apocalypse” is just awful. Worse than Batman V Superman; possibly worse than even X-Men: The Last Stand. I’m still going to go, because I’m admittedly in the bag for comic book movies, but I dislike hate-watching movies. “So bad it’s good” I can deal with, but simply bad might be a cry for help.

I wonder who Aaron Rodgers favourite character is?


Finally, loogit this horseshit:

I believe we’ve reached peak OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKISTHISBULLSHIT?!?!WHENDOESTHESEASONSTART?!?!

Tonight’s Playoff Contests:

  • NHL: Blues @ Sharks – 9:00 – ELIMINATION GAME
    • Game 6 (Sharks up 3-2)
  • NBA: Toronto @ Cleveland – 8:30
    • Game 5 (Series tied 2-2)

There was only one redeeming aspect to the last Miami Super Bowl.

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor Weaselo

Drawstrings on CB’s hoodie are loosened from Kenny mode to normal mode.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Are you not entertained?!?!?!?!?!?
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Unsurprised

CB is alive and has gone full hoodie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

Talk shit, get hit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice 🙂

Unsurprised

That is beautiful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t see it punching anybody.
You sure it’s Irish and not British?

Spanky Datass

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Unsurprised

I hope that’s a person he’s fucking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Animals can’t give consent (legally) is all. :-/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Except for goats; goats know shit.

Also I was thinking more of a Real Doll type device, but to each their own.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/be98e7e114b10199c7e4e6b00c6c5fb5/tumblr_mjh7eckBFL1r88k0wo1_500.gif

Unsurprised

A man with a jetski is too classy for a real doll.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is fucking banner material.

Unsurprised

Is’t that why Wolfman Rob is still tooling around in OSZ’s Prius when a lesser man would be cruising the Bonneville Salt Flats in a tricked out Seadoo?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, weather prediction on islands can be difficult, and NSFW.

h

ttp://66.media.tumblr.com/bcf74d080070da2a5eb43e8486f96101/tumblr_mnbgw6M4pX1qzhjh2o1_500.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

We have this huge zone of moisture moving across the south…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it is also Ben’s because he holds his mud. At least that is what I think ESPN would say.

Unsurprised

Metallica – The Four Horsemen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4nCy5CITc8

Unsurprised

Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg

This reminds me that there’s a mix I have that mashes up this song as it’s amazing.

Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

X-Men Quicksilver vs. Avengers Quicksilver. WHO YA GOT? Especially because they’re supposed to be the same guy.

Unsurprised

X-Men quicksilver is much better.

Plus, you know, alive.

Doktor Zymm

Sports Authority just announced they’re closing all their stores by the end of the summer. That kinda sucks, it was nice to be able to drop in and get tennis stuff I needed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

As a preferred customer, they’ve been sending me emails for months about their self-delusions of restructuring. Been waiting for the one that said “Fuck it, we give up”.
It came today.

Senor Weaselo

So… Cleveland finally wins a title, I guess? That still doesn’t sound right.

Unsurprised

That’s just going to make the fall that much more hilarious and tremendous.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, now that is my kinda gif.

rockingdog

hi guys.

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Doktor Zymm

The seasonal weather report predicts a possibility of drought over the summer for the upper Midwest, but considering the amount of rain we’re getting this spring I don’t think it would matter if June, July and August are all totally rain-free. It’s bucketing down out there, with some bonus flashy lightning, and this is far from the most rain we’ve had in the last month. I’m kind of worried my mini-garden won’t sprout due to overwatering.

Senor Weaselo

Do we have a feed on Covalent?

Unsurprised

I texted her this afternoon. She was alive.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude
Unsurprised

I went to high school with the main protestor from last night’s Trump rally in Albuquerque.

I’M BIG TIME!

Unsurprised

The Super Bowl should always be in Vegas. Because fuck them both.

Also, the most I laughed at Lady Dynamite was when a character in ep.9 says she has Celiac’s and then shouts in a restaurant “Gluten-Free since ’03!” and someone off-camera in the back yells back “Fuck you!”

JustStopDude

I think Pyongyang is hugely underrated as a venue.

http://i.makeagif.com/media/11-01-2015/u0QjLp.gif

We should have every Olympics, World Cup, and Superbowl there…

Unsurprised

Losers stay

Unsurprised

It really is a miracle bra.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

God, a true mashup of Dreamboat and Laserface would be horrifying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Who’s cock ‘n’ balls does this QB have?

Penis Rivers would flagellate Brady balls for siring a child out of wedlock.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is a movie I may skip.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But it is good writing.

The smug douchiness of Brady enhanced by the cocky asshole-ness of Rivers.

Unsurprised

Would Gronk be more or less impressed at how many times Rivers has knocked up a woman?

Doktor Zymm

Is it possible to pout and scream at the same time? We would finally know!

JustStopDude

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Wakezilla

This is pretty cool, especially since 2004 was one of the best games in the series.

http://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/nhl-2004-rebuilt-fan-built-hockey-mod-pc/#:p2GFRRsN1MSNFA

Wakezilla

I dunno. Olivia Munn’s Psylocke looks pretty, pretty good. From what I gather reading that review, that X-Men movie has the same problem of every comic book movie out there right now: It’s too much of a preview of what’s next for the #brand than actual content. I’m sure it’ll be perfectly cromulent.

On a more perkier note:

comment image?ig_cache_key=MTI1NzI4MjE2MDMzNDc1Njc0Mg%3D%3D.2.l

King Hippo

See, that’s just the thing. Why do people HAVE to see the super hero movies no matter how shitty they are?

I absolutely LOVED the Thomas Harris “Hannibal” book series. And the “Silence of the Lambs” movie. When I heard how awful the “Hannibal” movie was, I made a point to never, EVER see it, lest it detract from how much I loved the wonderful book.

Doesn’t going to see badly made films just encourage Hollywood to churn out MOAR feces?

Is this just a societal phenomenon at work that I don’t get because I’m an introverted, antisocial weirdo?

/also git off a mah lawn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some of them I like, but it seems any in the last tens years are virtually (literally virtually) the same movie. I am sure they are crying all the way to the bank because I don’t buy the tickets.

Unsurprised

I may or may not have watched a copy of X-Men that may or may not have fallen off a Chinese truck and onto the Internet.

I may have skimmed a bunch of it, but I didn’t think it had the problem the MCU movies did. I think it’s problem was that I don’t want to see another fucking end-of-the-world movie. Although I guess I can see where people would say that given the _____ cameo and the scene with _______ during the Final Boss Fight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We will not imply to anyone that you watched anything other than a legitimate source…. to the movie pole-leese anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

That’s for being a dick in Day of the Dead.

Unsurprised

Dawn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Either way….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

…and the other is actual penetration

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

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Cuntler

I thought about making a Franken-QB of the worst aspects of a quarterback, but it would be unnecessary: http://www.everydaylanguagelearner.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/tebo15.jpg

JustStopDude

Tebow gets way too much hate.

I mean he is garbage as a QB, but for the life of me, I don’t see why he shouldn’t collect a paycheck as a backup. You don’t have to worry about him doing something stupid.

Annoying Jesus tweets maybe, but not…you know…getting drunk and killing a teammate…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve seen him practice and play live; they had to change every play they called for him to be a short lived gimmick in a high school offense. He was way worse than the practice squad guy in the established pro-style offense. Having watched many terrible QBs in Denver over the years he gets way too much credit. Hopefully you were just joking or being sarcastic.

JustStopDude

Backup QB is the single most pointless position on a football team. If the backup goes in, the season is in the shitter most of the time anyway.

Its a position you need someone that just won’t get in trouble off the field. If I am in the South, the benefit to having idiot Evangelicals happy and buying Tebow shit far outweighs the potential of him taking a snap.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wow, I can’t even….. A backup QB should be able to run the offense competently for at least a few games, ah fuck it.

JustStopDude

I’m not thinking like a fan in the situation. I am thinking like an owner. An owner doesn’t care about wins or losses. It doesn’t matter in the NFL because of revenue sharing.

Let’s pretend I got the Jags. I want to make money on jersey sales and shit like that, I get Tebow for the idiot fans.

Your telling me the bench QB for the Jags is going to take the team to the Superbowl? And again, as an owner, why should I give a shit?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least the grammar is right.

JustStopDude

Oh come on Moose….don’t get bitchy.

Again, we have different perspectives on this. Where it my team signing Tebow, I would want to set fires to dumpsters downtown.

But if I am cold, calculated, dried up husk of an owner, only caring about money, I would pick up Tebow as a backup if the team was in the bible belt.

How many backup QB’s in the modern era have won a Superbowl? I know there has to be another besides Trent Dilfer but he is the only one I can think of.

I know, whether the starter makes it through the season or not, that I get get a shitload of revenue off of Jesus boy. I get some other backup, even if he goes in, the season is most likely tanked and I am sure as shit not selling a lot of Chad Henne merch…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s not worth my time; you don’t seem to grasp the concepts.

Doktor Zymm

They profit share on jersey sales too, except for the Cowboys who opted out from the beginning. It’s really ticket sales and concession sales that drive money to the owners. I don’t know if Tebow would get butts in seats, but I guess people could get up to get another hot dog without worrying about missing a good play.

JustStopDude

Think of the concession sales!

Doktor Zymm

They do say that fans of teams that lose consume more calories than fans of winning teams….hm, we might be on to something here.
http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/09/study-nfl-fans-losing-teams-fat-obese-fans

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s PFTCesque.

King Hippo

One would like to think “not too stupid to actually run the playbook” would be a bare minimum requirement, no matter how much one loves Jeebus.

And if it truly made no difference, why would you carry a backup on the roster at all? Just put some asshole gunner from special teams in there, game/season is over anyway.

JustStopDude

I am looking at this from a pure evil, greed perspective.

You pick up Tebow for the league minimum. You never want to use your backup anyway. So why not have a backup, admittedly a garbage one, that makes you money.

I’m not saying that the Pats or any other team that has a chance to make the playoffs do this. Imagine if my team is utter garbage…like Cleveland…but its in the South.

I got no chance to make the playoffs. I don’t care about making the playoffs. I can fill a position with a money generating player, generate press and buzz, and ignore the consequences as they are basically going to be the same no matter what I do in this situation.

King Hippo

I’d still want a guy who can run the scout team in practice, or prep the team for a game when the starter is banged up, or have SOME possible future value as a late round “dart” draft pick.

Those kind of guys are still a dime a dozen, cheap as fuck, and a scout could find 40-50 guys in Canada or on the street 10x better than Teebs.

JustStopDude

I agree with you on all points.

I’m just surprised that an NFL owner hasn’t taken to my line of thinking. There are plenty of insanely stupid NFL owners that take the short, quick buck thinking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Most of them are smart business people, with a few exceptions who inherited a great deal of money, but who are still schooled in business aspects. You and I, however are arguing on the internet; who really is insanely stupid?

JustStopDude

Are we arguing? I thought we were just bullshitting…

I meant no offense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, bullshitting. Fine.

JustStopDude

I seriously did not realize that joking about NFL backup QB’s would upset you. I apologize.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not upset, I’m just being stupid by responding.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And when I said “Hopefully you were just joking or being sarcastic. ” I was hoping for the out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, fuck.

Owners are competitive and want to win games. Even the shitty ones like Cleveland; they continually change things at a great expense to try to make the team better. That is why they buy teams, very few of the actual, real owners base much of their own revenue from the team; their other businesses and investments usually dwarf the revenue from the team. The biggest chunk of unshared revenue is stadium (box corporate seats, concessions, unlicensed team gear) which having Tebow on the team would make very little affect, especially long term. The owner you imagine is a straw man argument; an imaginary entity that has no bearing and not worth speculation.

Most owners with a few notable exceptions delegate personnel decisions to people who know the game much more than they do, they made most of their outside money by smart delegation. Any GM or coach who wants to keep his job would not want to waste a permanent roster spot on him especially after several teams tried to turn him around.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A failed post; perfect ending.

JustStopDude

Isn’t it?

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, Snyder is a perfect example of every piece of this comment. Though he seems to have learned his lesson about the hands-on thing, at least for the time being. If it lasts it will be the only good thing to come out of the destruction of RG3. But yeah, he massively increased the value of the team when he got it, and that was all through stadium shit.

JustStopDude

Honest to god…you could not pay me to go to the Superbowl. Its akin to go to “South of the Border” (that shithole tourist trap between North and South Carolina for Thanksgiving)

Note…I actually once did that when in the military and it was one of the most depressing days of my life.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There a SotB joke in Bart vs. Australia. Outside the curio shop is a sign that says, “Pedro Sez: Eet’s High Koala-T!”