UEFA European Championship—The 30-second Summary
The Euros will be hosted this year in France for the fifteenth UEFA European Championship from 10 June through 10 July 2016. Spain is the current champion, winning their third title in 2012, tying with Germany for the most held and winning back-to-back titles at that. Determination of the teams going to the Euros is largely a sea of logarithms based on coefficients for seeding but the gist is this: 24 national teams walk in, 1 walks out, an expansion from the previous twenty years of the cutoff being sixteen teams. France, being the host, automatically gets included, a point that will become important momentarily. Albania, Iceland, Slovakia, Northern Ireland, and Wales will be competing for their first time.
Poland
The coach for Poland’s National Team is Adam Nawałka, a former midfielder and national coach since 2013. Captain of the Team and arguably the most recognized player from it is captain Robert Lewandowski, a striker for club Bayern Munich with Krychowiak a close second from Sevilla FC. Outside of being a fan specifically to Polish football you may also have heard of Paweł Dawidowicz or Arkadiusz Milik, both with potential for explosive talent in their matches. The likely goaltender anticipated starting for their matches will be Wojciech Szczęsny though Nawałka seems a bit quiet on the certainty of the matter and will be feeling things out over the ongoing friendlies.
Most media regarding interviews with players reflects a cautious optimism. I respect a team that goes into a test with a healthy appreciation for the talent that they are up against, but Poland seems almost surprised by their successes. And there may be some reason for that. As the hosts for the 2012 Euro both Poland and Ukraine while automatically making it to the finals were both unceremoniously disqualified in shut outs. But while their time in the 2012 Euro was short, they had a pretty darn charming logo along with their cohosts…
On 12 June they will match up against Northern Ireland, and for Poland’s sake, welcome the Euro freshmen with a hearty throttling. However, what potential success might lie in Nice with Northern Ireland is likely to come to grinding halt in their match with the FIFA 2014 Cup winners, Germany on 16 June. Assuming that there are many survivors remaining, Poland then goes on to face off against the other… tulip hybrid, I guess? in Ukraine on 21 June.
Unfortunately, even as a good half-Polish girl who makes her own gołąbki and dries her own kluskis, the tepid enthusiasm from the Polish National Team is infectious. I suspect like most of the players, I, too, will be surprised if they advance and while I would decidedly love to see it but I don’t think I would be putting in my request for time off for the knockouts in the Round of 16.
Powodzenia, Polska!
Here’s a link to the schedule of matches from ESPN
Poland is a funny team because their success comes in cycles. They’ll have a generation where they’re a tough out and then they’ll have a generation where they’re a guaranteed win. They look like they’re about to be a Euro/World Cup regular for the next 8 years.
Yeah, but who has the best soccer hooligans?
Out of that group, Croatia.
You got your Nazis,
http://d30pt6u9puc4m1.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/image/CroatiaFanWithBeer.jpg
your arsonists,
http://img.youtube.com/vi/0q6zPzFKrqk/0.jpg
your moshing enthusiasts,
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/assets/121017021758-eastern-european-racism-croatia-horizontal-gallery.jpg
and these guys.
http://ultrasnation.com/wp-content/uploads/group-avatars/10/6155ccb065e743e085fba3c2b4c16859-bpfull.jpg
I sure like all those groups, Sill, on a personal level.
Bet you wouldn’t have guessed that!
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/705/640/673.gif
There was only one UEFA fan group I was afraid of in Madrid.
Speaking of Poles or people with slightly Polish-sounding names, I think I reached my breaking point with non-Magaray Deadspin today. Barry Petschkey (sp?) keeps calling the Stanley Cup Final the “Finals”. Also, the one girl who writes on Adequate Man keeps telling people to drive a car across Europe and to eat cake and/or pudding on hot days. Why did that site turn into Slate? Whatever, I guess.
Go Poland! Your use of the letter ‘w’ is intriguing!
Don’t write off Diana Moskovitz, she is still doing some really good journalism for them.
Her research is generally good, but she also crowd-sources a lot, and reports on how she reports too much (see that article on the Pats player who helped someone out of a car on fire or something).
Finally, she editorializes A LOT and uses this in almost every article:
Yeah, I am writing that whole site off (except Drew).
I do, however, love the fact that they are getting sued into oblivion. Those guys are all going to have to get jobs at The Ringer or Sports on Earth soon.
I checked out of Deadspin ages ago because its content was unbearable. What you just described sounds horrible.
Oh yeah, those Euro 2012 logos were lovely, but that “Polkraine” shit the English foisted upon everyone was goddamned awful. I remember both host teams being terrible, except Ukraine in the last game. This year, I hope Lewandowski elbows every single German in the face for every “Lewandoofski” he’s heard in the Bundesliga.
http://i317.photobucket.com/albums/mm368/RaymondJesseSchluter/Photo%20Shop/Germany-Poland.png
Scrolling thing just made me laugh out loud in my secured trans lecture.
Hard to imagine how difficult it must be for Polish and Ukranian players to keep their emotions in check playing Germany.
How do you Nazi that one coming?
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/sw3yu28swyuyu8.gif
Yeah, not always a great history with Germany, but let’s not forget about the Red Army march home in which we get to use the term “mass rape”
It’s funny; Germany’s had two Poland-born studs. Miroslav Klose, who in 2014 became the top scorer for the German team and has the most ever World Cup goals. Lukas Podolski is no slouch either; some say his best play has been for Germany.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Death_Match
F.C. Start!
/takes imaginary hat off
I love how it’s called “fussball” like Lucy Van Pelt invented it.
They need to redo the groups.
Move Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic to group B.
Take Russia out of B and move them to C
Slovakia and Czech Rep go to group F.
Shake and watch the blood flow.
A dream group would have been: Russia, Poland, Hungary and Ukraine.
My grandfather was a 56er. When he was alive, just give him a drink and the insults and words he could string together about the Russians were spectacular.
Inside A Terror Háza Múzeum Budapest:
http://www.karpat-medence.hu/keptar/galleries/Magyarorszag/Budapest/06_kerulet/Terror-haza/budapest-terror-haza_35.jpg
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/94307772.jpg
http://assets.atlasobscura.com/media/W1siZiIsInVwbG9hZHMvcGxhY2VfaW1hZ2VzLzllMjUzMzI1N2ZjOTkwZTg1OGE3ZTRlZTRlYzZjYzNlNjMxZmY5ZjAuanBnIl0sWyJwIiwidGh1bWIiLCJ4MzkwXHUwMDNlIl0sWyJwIiwiY29udmVydCIsIi1xdWFsaXR5IDkxIC1hdXRvLW9yaWVudCJdXQ/9e2533257fc990e858a7e4ee4ec6cc3e631ff9f0.jpg
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/library-archives-soviet-intelligence-budapest-inside-museum-house-terror-terror-haza-budapest-museum-46516371.jpg
Recylable Headlines
http://www.historicalnews.com/ebay/2013-12-11/Dec2013X11MS1939NazisInvadePoland4.jpg
Now I’m craving pierogies. Anyone know a good pierogie place in LA?
Now you’re talking!!!
But also I do not know a good LA pierogie place and am therefore more useless than tits on a bull.
But if you find a place, send me some?
http://epicureandculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Pierogi.jpg
Best pierogis I’ve had in LA were in…
Chicago actually. Had some fine ones in Pittsburgh too.
There’s supposed to be a food truck (of course) that makes a decent pierogi here.
Welp, guess who is fucking bringing her pierogies to the YeahRight Cook Off!
Yay!
Strong pierogi take. They are gross. Why would you eat those when delicious Gyoza is available elsewhere?
That could only be said by someone who has never had one of my delicious little hand made buttons willed with love and wrapped in egg flower. I’ll have to see how to ship them frozen.
I have only ever had ones with mashed potato or sauerkraut in them. I never liked starch stuffed with starch. It felt like I was eating paste. The sauerkraut one is what I would imagine it tastes like to kiss Hitler. I bet they are good if stuffed with various meats. Mmmm…. meats.
They’re called ravioli. And they’re delicious.
No, they’re kreplach.
And damn straight they’re delicious.
It’s always hit and miss, but Orthodox church perogie sales generally have the best perogies.
“I tell yew what, ain’t no Murica in there cause they’s a buncha Uropeen faggots who ascared of the good ol’ US of A! When Prezident Trump is in the White House, this ain’t gonna happen agin!”
“We are gonna spend whatever it takes to get the World Cup here…yes we will….yes we will….get him out of here! Get him out of here!….Tazer him! Yes….Now, we’re going to get the World Cup and we’re going to force every competing nation to sign on that the game is called Soccer and that its birthplace is right here in America!….That’s right. We made football and now they want to steal it? We’ll take football, we’ll take soccer, and we’ll take the Mona Lisa!”
And we’re gonna score goals! We’re gonna score so many goddamn goals the nets are get ripped off the fucking goalposts! It’s gonna be beaut–GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!!!
“Feel free to shoot him right in the…[listens]…that’s illegal? Well, not when I’m president it won’t be.”
I’m actually surprised Trump has promoted voter fraud yet.
“All of you great people here in Kansas are wonderful. If you’d all get on this bus and go vote for me in Colorado, know that you’ll be electing a man with the power to pardon each and every one of you for doing this great service!”