Not much on the NFL front today, as emphasized by:
- “Aaron Rodgers: Tom Brady inspiring my eating habits”
- I’m sure Olivia Munn thanks him too
- Mike Florio taking professional shots at Stephen A. Smith
- If only they could be locked in a windowless room.
- Brock Osweiler is skipping the Bronco’s Monday visit to the White House. If JJ Watt can never go, then why should anyone else? I’m surprised he didn’t force the kid to return the ring and win one “the right way”. From robot to MODOK; Brock’s got no chance.
- Akiem Nicks – last of the Saints; now of the Bears – backs the Wolfman’s claims he’d been kneecapped by Sean Payton the last two years.
- too bad they don’t play this year
- BTW, looking at the Bills schedule, there’s a real chance they go 2-14 this year; their non-division opponents are the NFC West & AFC North, plus Jax & the Raiders. MAYBE they beat the Browns & Jags, but I don’t see much else here.
- too bad they don’t play this year
The big football story of the day is Baylor bleeding recruits in the wake of Art Briles being let go. Seven recruits have asked to be released from their Letters of Intent since last Thursday.
- If they withdrew before the May 31 start of classes, they would be able to go to another school immediately; after that date, Baylor has 30 days to either hold or release them from that commitment.
- one of those 7 – Devin Duvernay – may be eligible immediately, because Baylor never got around to filing his Letter of Intent with the national database. According to reports, Baylor forgot to submit his letter, but did submit his twin brother Donovan’s, meaning that Devin can go anywhere, but Donovan has to wait 14 days before he can be approached. They seem to be a package deal, so possible schools will require two available scholarships.
- If Baylor jerks them, they lose a year of eligibility when they transfer. No word on whether any active roster students have requested transfers yet, but that has to be coming, especially among the sophomores.
- Rumours are already about that Texas is swirling the lagoon looking to pick off what it can. Locals are fearing a return to Baylor being a traditional weak sister in its conference.
Random news & notes:
- So, they’ve officially declared Prince’s death an “opioid overdose”, specifically fentanyl. Goddammit.
- The murder-suicide at UCLA only came about after the gunman killed a woman in Minnesota and then drove to LA, looking to kill the profs who “stole” his intellectual property. I wonder if he wore astronaut diapers?
- Germany declared the 1915 Armenian massacre a “genocide”, to the anger of Turkey. Well, if anyone ‘s an expert on genocide…
- The PGA has moved the 2017 World Golf Championships from Trump’s Doral course in Florida to a course outside Mexico City, citing a lack of willing US sponsors. Trump’s reaction was expected: “I hope they have kidnapping insurance”.
Tonight’s Game 1 Playoff Action: Cleveland @ Golden State – 9:00 (ABC)
Well, the juggernaut has landed in Oakland. I read a lot of basketball sites today, so I feel fairly confident in this statement, which will be presented by Jay Cutler:
About 75% of the “experts” have picked Golden State to win, and the average number of games it’ll take is 6. The only site I’ll believe – Nate Silver’s fivethirtyeight.com – gives the Warriors a 69% (hee hee) chance to repeat. What most likely matters to followers of a football site is, “How will this affect the Browns?” Because, if the Cavs fail, and the Indians Indian, then the prospects for people dumping more false belief onto the Browns becomes a real & apparent fact.
Looking at their schedule, I’m going to say the best-case Browns scenario is 6-10, which means – if he stays with the Cavs next year – even more pressure falls on LeBron to win it all next year. (That – “Next Year” – should really be on the Cleveland city flag, because “Progress & Prosperity” seems like a goddamned lie at this point.) That might just break him.
LIFE GOES ON!
Oh, what’s that? It’s suddenly a tie game? 12-12?
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSt0m9ha9sip511yaZU7R3SYE2r0SK6F_hyymjU0C9-qyQsokmG
what the.
lets watch some space ghost coast to coast highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqA-DGLVdq8
Oh, Mariners lead now…Cool.
Isn’t the record for biggest comeback 8 or 9 runs?
*googles*
Oh, lucky for you, it’s 12 runs.
hahaha this is soooo sad.
I fondly recall a time as a kid when i had a newspaper clipping of ken caminiti on the wall of my room. it was all good.
http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/baseball-san-diego-padres-andujar-cedeno-ken-caminiti-brian-williams-picture-id145309639
memories….
Amy Smart….a very underrated Amy IMHO.
http://www.americansuperstarmag.com/sites/default/files/images/amy-smart-050609-1.jpg
http://media2.popsugar-assets.com/files/users/5/52679/32_2007/amy-smart-picture-1.jpg_Thumbnail1/i/EXPOSING-UNDERRATED-BEAUTY-Amy-Smart.jpg
I have never underrated her, but she can ruin a keyboard.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/711e37b2d09d5019266c85c182021162/tumblr_nonpkv8qs21tguoxuo2_500.gif
blob:https%3A//vine.co/5d040f43-6637-42cd-b3c0-95c5306263b7
https://vine.co/v/iYbPDQjM5D1
KERR SMASH!
168 profile views on that tweet, and @doorfliesopen linked in my profile.
#BRANDING
As long as they’re cool, of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZT6KB8EHbo
Make sure your bulge shows.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a858a480b7d2559d3804348223b66f62/tumblr_o845q361pp1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f06e0a2ea625bbaa5942d2a3f0aadfae/tumblr_o845q361pp1ric2iqo6_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqA-DGLVdq8
SHOW ME MY $12!
Darren Rovell is frantically trying to reach you now.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b4c2b1bbb1a9ec31ff5308c79241d185/tumblr_o2y6yiisMN1v51j7oo4_400.gif
Scarlett obviously forgot to pick up peanut butter on the way to the shoot.
(wow….that’s terrible even for me)
/sorry not sorry
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7258eb14dcf1e445d74d2d149eed0505/tumblr_o2y6yiisMN1v51j7oo2_400.gif
As always, fuck Lebron
“YEAH!”
-Greg Hardy
Or his mom. Whichever your preference.
http://theclassical.org/sites/default/files/delonte315.jpg
game 1 win.
good job Sean Livingston and the rest of the warriors bench.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1037ea7ed06a2f1abadb8f244def0822/tumblr_o83uodY1jw1qewacoo1_540.png
You know what that means? Time to buy a gorilla.
Dwayne Wade…cool like the 24 lbs of ice wrapped strategically around his old ass after a regular season game…
I thought it was around his legs and specifically his knees.
I find it very smart from a product marketing standpoint, to use a player NOT in the Finals, DURING the Finals.
I just had to explain to my gf who George Gervin was
Ladies and Gents, your Eastern Conference Champs!
Splash Brothers in response to the Cavs thinking they could make a late run
Oh, Amy II.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3b569855865d4366536cd6193b90b348/tumblr_n5s8cv5qgY1qcpno5o1_1280.jpg
/can’t stop looking at those chompers
//might need therapy more than originally thought
Why is Curry’s bum ankle even in the game right meow?
I first read that as “bum uncle” and was like, “Curry is related to Jim Tomsula?”
http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6095/6332618464_c67aeef26d_z.jpg
The daughter looks like the spawn of an Irish klansman and an icing bag.
/I think there’s a Zappa song about that
That was fucking funny.
the early years?
http://cdn.movieweb.com/video.img/VIv25yADVxTyzx_2_hd.jpg
Japan just upset the US women late, to tie it 3-3. It was pretty impressive as Japan was down a player for most of the game. Japan shocked the US with a 2-0, and the US came back with the lead around the 90th minute.
I wonder what Donald Trump thinks about this?
http://www.cinemaretro.com/uploads/mothra.jpg
Warriors gonna win game 1?
Dear Legend of Tarzan Trailer,
Too Soon.
Love,
Cincinnati
I think I love Curry’s “no look” assists more than his “fuck you i’m getting a three” shot.
WHO LET MY PROCTOLOGIST IN HERE?
?..mooooon river…?
?w=300
http://picsthatdontsuck.com/img/Big_Hand_Slap.gif
Also why is he wearing the dildo harness from Se7en?
BREAKING NEWS
Factory of Sadness running at 105% efficiency.
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/15908502/jim-brown-upbeat-josh-gordon-cleveland-browns-conversations
I thought he was more the beat up than upbeat type
Apologies to Lemmy.
Ohio sprots: Born to shrug, live to meh.
Oh, Amy.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4794d4d38a58edb178a90d579dd03eb9/tumblr_o7vas3uUls1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Also, this Amy
http://fullhdpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Amy-Acker-Pictures.jpg
I smell an Amy-off.
(had to be very careful typing that)
Will we include ladies who played characters named Amy?
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02026/gill_2026281a.jpg
You say that like anyone would follow the rules even if there were any.
Katie Nolan just retweeted my Warriors bench joke and it currently has 69 favs.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le8d3c3n5d1qb2cp4o1_500.gif
MWAG is in love with Katie…
/seriously though which joke?
So what if I am?!
https://twitter.com/The_Squirrel_/status/738567921916481536
How much for the slightly overweight adult model?
/asking for a friend
And then the Padres put in Brad Hand to pitch, and now it’s 12-7…
/Law of averages or something
Overheard at post-game buffet table:
“Don’t worry, Hand. Since you were out there AND we were out there, doesn’t that make it OUR loss? And certainly there’s nothing wrong with a little feast after our loss.”
The warriors are Lit right now.
hahaha Cleveland.
the warriors have 6 players in double digits in points and thompson and curry and not two of those players….
The warriors are Lit right now.
/glad to be not the only one
But is it turnt?
Tronc?
Soooooo Cleveland’s dead right?
http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-13-2015/hzdxbV.gif
game aint over yet….
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/483/928/fb0.jpg
Yup.
I want to see what percentage of shots the Cavaliers have missed from inside of five feet. It seems like it would be very bad.
WVU-esque!
Wait, when did it magically become a double-digit game?
That’s what I want to know. At one point it was a 2 point game. I switched the channel and come back to a blowout.
I went to watch the end of Roots (which I will interpret as Lawrence Fishburne as Alex Haley’s dying visions) and all of a sudden the lead was 12.
Get. Off. The. God. Damn. COOLER!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/33b1b2f4dee4f97135ecba65a19fb65a/tumblr_o85zphRc9r1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
That the teacher who banged that kid?????
That kid is a STUD.
Um, no.
Of course, photo caught my eye, then I looked up and read the Moose Captioning and started laughing my ass off.
/hadn’t even noticed the cooler
Wouldn’t even say anything if’in’ there wasn’t beer in there. Soda is bad for them little kids anyway.
So, I finished the night out with an Ommegang Hennepin and a New Belgium Heavy Melon. I have retired to the comfort of my home and am having the last Sweetwater 420 in the house.
Is Sweetwater 420 a beer or a bong?
This is how I know you don’t listen to substitute teachers: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/03/14/commentist-beer-barrel-nobody-likes-a-dry-barrel/
Every single MLB game that I’ve heard the score of today has had a differential of at least 5 runs.
Fascinating
Dbacks won 3-0.
Because Houston must suck.
So I was watching SportsCenter and I saw the play. I don’t follow basketball, is Illegal Ball Fondling a Flagrant 1 or a Flagrant 2?
Two.
Definitely two.
“SMH.”
-Lance Armstrong
ESPN homepage has a clip of Kerr smashing the clipboard.
I hope that happens this NFL season so we can hear the Microsoft Surface Pro Tablet again referred to by the CBS regional team as an iPad.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/447e088ea6c7317fddf1dfdbdce622b3/tumblr_o85y57hewX1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llyxu0pvFZ1qcf87so1_540.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/dae11f8628494b4939f05ce70669d3a3/tumblr_o82nzxgiGB1qagxppo1_1280.png
My reaction when a Republican endorses Trump.
http://i.imgur.com/mh96F4u.gif
Well, with all of this talk about baseball I may as well… Reds are WINNING 11-4?! Did Colorado spot them some runs? Did they hit a bonus circle like NBA Jam? What is this?!
I wouldn’t past them to lose this but, damn, way to not suck dRedlegs!
Redlegs are winning? Someone’s not going to be happy about this.
http://www.imfdb.org/images/thumb/3/30/TOJWColtWalker-8.jpg/600px-TOJWColtWalker-8.jpg
hahahaha Delly hit andre iguodala in the penis…..
and the refs are reviewing it.
Ill try to find the gif……
C’mon, man, “inadvertently” whacking people in the junk is Draymon Green’s thing.
Yankees… win? Surely those two words don’t fit together, do they? That 5 in the run spot has to be a typo or missing a negative or something.
Wow, Delladova is just terrible.
Sooner or later, he’s gonna get lynched.
Good glavin Padres!
It’s 12-2!
/Is amazed when they score A run
oh shit wait they scored 7 runs in the 5th inning? am i reading that right?
You sure is!
I saw it happen and still think it’s a mistake.
Best. Chicken. Evar.
http://bestgifs.makeagif.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/uptonegg.gif
I almost feel for LeBron (not that anyone with that much money needs my sympathies) in that, had the Cavs not drafted him, his entire legacy would not necessarily have been tied to his hometown. I mean, had he done amazing things (winning rings left and right and playing his entire career in CLE), it would be one of the greatest modern stories that might have provided the feel-good that may have put him over Jordan on some pundits’* all-time lists.
I mean, who else is supposed to actually care about the city he plays for? Peyton went to DEN because they’re winners. Brees is a great NO resident but that’s a two-way relationship. Eli doesn’t give a fuck about NYC (insert Eli is a kid joke). Jordan just played for the Bulls. Magic just played for the Lakers. Bird never played for the Pacers. Hell, people talk about how the Wizards have no chance at Durant on account of how he DOESN’T want to go home and play. But LeBron, it’s like, “Well, if he wins CLE a title, then he can opt out and play elsewhere. Else, I think he needs to come back and try again.” Who else has such demands? We’re used to teams winning championships then the roster getting piecemealed off in FA to the highest bidders (JAX/OAK/WAS).
Obviously it’s all his own decision but, shit, if he’d just been drafted somewhere else in the first place, all this bullshit about LeBron owing CLE (and I get that some of it has to do with The Decision but, seriously, get over it – CLE didn’t give him support) would be a nonissue.
* Who gives a fuck what Stephen A. thinks?
http://s3.amazonaws.com/br-cdn/temp_images/2013/10/07/EliManningStruggleFace.gif
Counterpoint: Fuck that guy
I need to go back to studying (I should’ve an hour ago), but I still feel …
http://115.imagebam.com/download/hxsUXHdskOb6LMfaDDmkNg/48681/486806998/1219951.gif
Another dance party??? I missed the last one…
OH PLEASE LET’S HAVE ANOTHER DANCE PARTY!!!!!!
Don’t let your professors steal your intellectual property!
Call Hippo to get that shit protected! KL5-DidYouGetThatThingISentYou
I know its Cleveland, but that was definitely on Golden State.
Oh, Cleveland.
The alternate title to “An Ode to Sadness”
Yeah, the nightly flip winning post is way more fun when it’s bouncing boobs.
/no offense Redshirt
//you have no offense, Cleveland