Your “Finally, It’s Over…OH GOD, NOW THE ACTUAL CAMPAIGN!” Tuesday Open Thread

Brief NFL briefs:

  • Someone hacked the NFL’s twitter account, and posted the news Patriots fans were waiting for.
    • Bitterness remained after the truth came out.
      • About the hack & Goodell not being dead – not deflated balls. That’s still going on.
  • 7 teams opened veteran minicamps today: The Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers. Here are your wagers:
    • First team with a major injury to a starter
    • First Browns injury (not to be confused with…)
    • What will Mark Sanchez hurt first?
    • Over/under on positive Jimmy Garoppolo press references – I call 36
    • Will Sam Bradford snap? Tie-breaker: Before or after he gets hurt?
    • Will Kaepernick play with others? What will his story be?

Well, get out the bear spray and put the sign on the door, because after tonight the US presidential election is ON! It’s the final primaries tonight, and if it was closer then California might’ve meant something. But, given that none of the states are “winner take all”, there’s no chance – outside of the convention – to still feel the Bern.

The current stage of the Sanders campaign. Next comes “bargaining”.

Results should start coming in about 5:00 ET, in case you want to waste your evening that way.

So it’s down to a historic battle between the first major-party female candidate and the first actual tycoon candidate since John Frémont.

Whereas Trump just yells at Mexicans & poses with Western heroes.
John Fremont fought Mexicans & knew Kit Carson.

If you live in one of those identified battleground states – CO, IA, FL, NC, NH, NM, NV, OH, OR, VA, – you’d best be setting your voice mail recording to “PISS OFF”, because you are about to get a whole bunch of robocalls. And I hope you like strangers knocking at your door, because 2016 and all of that PAC money is going to get dropped on making sure you get every pamphlet and know every position the candidates hold.

BTW, it’s too late to help Bernie, and too early to help Trump, but good ol’ boy Roger Clinton grabbed himself a DUI on Sunday night. I’m guessing he thought his 2001 pardon was a lifetime pass.

To squash more of your hopes for a peaceful summer – don’t think if you live outside one of those battleground states you’re going to be immune from the madness. There are 34 Senate seats up, and the Republicans have to defend 24 of those. Given that there’s already one SCOTUS seat in limbo, I hope you enjoy being harassed walking into & out of Target & Costco.

To improve your mood before the comments, here’s some Pet Shop Boys.

I’ll be seeing them LIVE on October 24th. I may be the only breeder there.


Tonight’s Copa Schedule:

  • USA vs Costa Rica – 8:00 – @ Soldier Field
  • Colombia vs Paraguay – 10:30 – @ the Rose Bowl

I wonder whose anthem will get screwed up tonight? Sunday was Uruguay, and Monday was Chile. Here’s hoping they’ve dusted off Carl Lewis for another Chicago appearance.

Alternative Programming:

  • ABC – “The Bachelorette” – 8:00
    • Is Aaron Rodgers’ brother still on? How many of them have VD yet? So many questions…
  • Showtime – “60 Minutes Sports” – 9:00
    • this will be where they show the somewhat-talked about Marshawn Lynch interview.
  • VH1 – “Purple Rain” – 9:00

I discovered that there is apparently a “Univision Canada” channel, and it is the network showing the Copa up here. Since it’s neither a mandatory French channle nor part of my optional cable packages, it’s been all questionable streams for me. I think my wife would prefer I watch Russian porn on my iPad than garbled Russian TV feeds.

THAT ARRANGED CAN BE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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WCS

Stop teasing me!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

His post-hit hop elevates it from good to great.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was actually very well executed.
Dick move (no pun intended), but still. It was a TALENTED dick move.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Practice at home, kids.

Unsurprised

Sorry. Gotta rep the 505.

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JerBear50
Unsurprised

JEALOUS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The gif hunt is an underappreciated part of tumblr fandoms. http://may0osh.tumblr.com/post/105984678947/candice-swanepoel-gif-hunt-under-the-cut

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just getting ready for “leadership training”…….

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2013/08/Kori/punch-to-the-groin.gif

JustStopDude

I swear to god Dempsey looks like the fucking speed freak that broke into my apartment and stole my shitty used VCR for meth money back when I was stationed in Charleston…

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Unsurprised

Then it’s a good thing the PNW isn’t known for its mountains of methamphetimes.

Unsurprised

My groin is feeling rather stressed given the current series of gifs.

http://www.loodzwaar.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/lz_gd_23_01.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank you for bringing this particular gif into our lives.

We doing soccer fail gifs, ok then

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

The accuracy needed to hit such a small target is mind-boggling.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So we had the Bachelorette on last night and there is a guy on it named Chad who is seriously right on the verge of a roid rage. It is fascinating.

JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

Switching to Dirt Stillers/Dirt Jets.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

3-0

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

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Unsurprised

Do or do not. There is no try.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

GOAL!

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Sill Bimmons

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theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Bench clearing brawl in Baltimore vs KC.
Goddammit, that’s all we fucking need…injuries and suspensions.
F.M.L.!!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised

A melee in Baltimore? Why I never!

JustStopDude

The Royals always get chippy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I saw an Os/Red Sox brawl live once. It’s really fun to watch one live. I hate to admit to feeling this way, but it really was very interesting to be able to see the whole thing at once.

JerBear50

I was at one as a kid when Jack McDowell got the shit knocked out of him. It was about the best you could hope for when watching the White Sox.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

She might need glasses for driving.
Just saying…her distance vision might not be the best.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That looks familiar somehow.

Unsurprised

Floppers gonna flop.

JustStopDude

God fucking damn it…I mean sometimes its just breathtaking how fucking terrible the US is at soccer.

I get that it doesn’t get the top flight talent but every time I see the TMNT’s play, its like this is the first fucking time they ave every played with each other before and just 14 minutes prior, they just met.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Can’t stop looking at Dee.
She looks positively radiant and almost totally non-birdlike there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think she gives most of us a comedy boner (old, old joke).

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Wow. Soldier Field is just empty. How can we not fill up one of the smallest football stadiums for a USMNT game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Says the republican.

Redshirt

Ex-Republican. I’m a Free Agent.

Sill Bimmons

You should consider the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.

http://www.loonyparty.com/

I’ve been a member since 2003.

Redshirt

Oh, its a real thing. I was expecting very, very creepy porn for some reason.

Unsurprised

Not Moose

theeWeeBabySeamus

DFO Olympics, anyone?
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’m on board for the bungee cord pull down the slip and slide through burning stuff

theeWeeBabySeamus

In that case, you’re gonna love the flooded crane water skiing events.

Unsurprised

HOW IS THIS NOT A RIDE AT EVERY CARNIVAL!?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

One-on-One Field Hockey

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So which is the best way to cheer on this game. root for the USA or root against them so they eventually clean house and make a team that can compete

Redshirt

8:00:00 PM: New Jersey polls close.
8:00:01 PM: “Its too early to call the race.” – CNN

No shit, really?

Unsurprised

Children in sandboxes in backyards near the #Browns facility beware: RG3 has thrown 2 away over 16 foot fence into yards. Hit garage today— Mary Kay Cabot (@MaryKayCabot) June 7, 2016

Sill Bimmons

http://66.media.tumblr.com/da07befdab4a886ba6f637742d10fb3b/tumblr_neyrkvLN5v1qbyb95o5_250.gif

She’s right. I just saw her in an ad on Univision and she definitely sounds way smarter in Spanish.

Sill Bimmons

Costa Rica: NAWT LIBERTARIAN

“Costa Rica was sparsely inhabited by indigenous people before coming under Spanish rule in the 16th century. It remained a peripheral colony of the empire until independence as part of the short-lived First Mexican Empire, followed by membership in the United Provinces of Central America, from which it formally declared sovereignty in 1847. Since then, Costa Rica has remained among the most stable, prosperous, and progressive nations in Latin America. Following a brief but bloody civil war, it permanently abolished its army in 1949, becoming the first of only a few sovereign nations without a standing army.

Costa Rica has consistently performed favorably in the Human Development Index (HDI), placing 69th in the world as of 2015, among the highest of any Latin American nation. It has also been cited by the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) as having attained much higher human development than other countries at the same income levels, with a better record on human development and inequality than the median of the region. Its rapidly developing economy, once heavily dependent on agriculture, has diversified to include sectors such as finance, pharmaceuticals, and ecotourism.

Costa Rica is known for its progressive environmental policies, being the only country to meet all five criteria established to measure environmental sustainability.It was ranked 42nd in the world, and third in the Americas, in the 2016 Environmental Performance Index, was twice ranked the best performing country in the New Economics Foundation’s (NEF) Happy Planet Index, which measures environmental sustainability, and was identified by the NEF as the greenest country in the world in 2009. Costa Rica officially plans to become a carbon-neutral country by 2021. In 2012, it became the first country in the Americas to ban recreational hunting.”

Sill Bimmons

Copa Centenario: Clusterfuck or Biggest Clusterfuck?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

Unsurprised

Some people at Wal-Mart have opinions that I think should be given considerable support.

http://brostrick-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/people-of-walmart-pictures.png

Redshirt

Per Wikipedia:

The Libertarian Party supports the legalization of all victimless crimes,[40] including drugs,[74][75][76][77] pornography,[74] prostitution,[74][75][76][77] polygamy,[78] gambling,[79] removal of restrictions on homosexuality,[76] opposes any kind of censorship and supports freedom of speech,[80] and supports the right to keep and bear arms[75] while opposing Federal capital punishment.[81] The Libertarian Party’s platform states: “Government does not have the authority to define, license or restrict personal relationships. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships.”

How are they not popular?!

WCS
Unsurprised

Pat Buchanan is as libertarian as I am, which is to say mortally opposed.

Unsurprised

“But no doubt there is a real trend in this country, a deeply libertarian trend. On the left, it favors same-sex marriage, gambling, even prostitution. Legalization of all of these things, which used to be considered vices and because of the revenue involved and because of the belief that individuals should have autonomy. And on the right, there is libertarianism as well. Everybody has to have his AR-15 rifle and its 30-round clip. But this is the sentiment in the country, I think, sort of the decline of the community and the rise of the idea of the autonomous and privileged self. And this is a trend and it’s going to continue.”
— from a January 2014 episode of The McLaughlin Group

JerBear50

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Shogun Marcus

Ever been stuck in a room with a bunch? Is terrifying.
They’re like cats. Completely dependent on others/government while desperately trying to convince you they’re independent.

Unsurprised

“There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kid’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs.”
— John Rogers

Unsurprised

A right-winger I know posted a link to something about the LP supporting the right to freedom from government interference in medical decisions and I came so fucking close to congratulating him on becoming pro-choice just to piss him off and for being a giant hypocrite.

Redshirt

Thanks everyone. You may have talked me down from the ledge.

Now I’m back to my original choices of “Dick Hurtz”, “King George III”, “Optimus Prime”, or “None of the Above”.

Shogun Marcus

Dick Hertz/Deez Nuts is an excellent ticket to punch.

Sill Bimmons

Libertarians are also against things like government in general (apart from the military, of course!).

To quote Grover Norquist: “I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.”

Fun!

Unsurprised

Whereas in reality, it just means schools won’t be opening in the fall — which is exactly what will happen in Kansas because they elected one of Norquist’s dickless supplicants.

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

Exactly.

Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you are walking out of a Sam’s Club we already know who your presumptive candidate is.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Somewhat related. My great grandfather helped fund Sam Walton when he was starting Walmart. Ended up rich as fuck and an absolute terrible person. He had servants that he treated like a stereotypical slave owner from any TV show or movie. This was 1996

Unsurprised

Yeah, but 1996 Arkansas was basically 1796 America.

Hell, 2016 Arkansas is maybe catching up to 1916 America.

Unsurprised

Open tags? This whole fucking conversation is a time warp to 1996!

WCS

PIG SOOOOEEEYYYYYYY

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It was Chicago, but that one area of Chicago that is full of rich dbags (North Shore). 5 million dollar condo that was barely bigger than a $400 a month apartment anywhere else. And you are expected to not dress in tattered clothes and gym shorts when you go out so I hated going to visit.

Unsurprised

It seems like I’m the only one getting fucked in the van tonight.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Today is an important holiday: it’s Emily Ratajkowski’s birthday.

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scotchnaut

Up in The Canada every weekend it’s “Support Your Local Whatever Tag Day”. They congregate around beer, liquor, grocery and sports stores and it feels great to turn down the small children that ask you to donate.

Unsurprised

Welcome to real life, kids. People will go out of their way to crush your hopes and dreams.

scotchnaut

Performing a public service never felt so good…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I heard that there is a Support Bangin’ Your Wife and We Thank You Vury Mooch Day near the Cooper’s Foods, aboot three blocks from the BeaverTails.

/terribly soorry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Jeff Ireland says every night is Support Dez Bryant’s Mom Night.

Unsurprised

I’ve never been to a Target or Costco that allows political solicitations on their property. You Canuckistanians could learn a thing or two.

Unsurprised

Oh. Fuck California.

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