Brief NFL briefs:
- Someone hacked the NFL’s twitter account, and posted the news Patriots fans were waiting for.
- Bitterness remained after the truth came out.
- About the hack & Goodell not being dead – not deflated balls. That’s still going on.
- Bitterness remained after the truth came out.
- 7 teams opened veteran minicamps today: The Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers. Here are your wagers:
- First team with a major injury to a starter
- First Browns injury (not to be confused with…)
- What will Mark Sanchez hurt first?
- Over/under on positive Jimmy Garoppolo press references – I call 36
- Will Sam Bradford snap? Tie-breaker: Before or after he gets hurt?
- Will Kaepernick play with others? What will his story be?
Well, get out the bear spray and put the sign on the door, because after tonight the US presidential election is ON! It’s the final primaries tonight, and if it was closer then California might’ve meant something. But, given that none of the states are “winner take all”, there’s no chance – outside of the convention – to still feel the Bern.
Results should start coming in about 5:00 ET, in case you want to waste your evening that way.
So it’s down to a historic battle between the first major-party female candidate and the first actual tycoon candidate since John Frémont.
If you live in one of those identified battleground states – CO, IA, FL, NC, NH, NM, NV, OH, OR, VA, – you’d best be setting your voice mail recording to “PISS OFF”, because you are about to get a whole bunch of robocalls. And I hope you like strangers knocking at your door, because 2016 and all of that PAC money is going to get dropped on making sure you get every pamphlet and know every position the candidates hold.
BTW, it’s too late to help Bernie, and too early to help Trump, but good ol’ boy Roger Clinton grabbed himself a DUI on Sunday night. I’m guessing he thought his 2001 pardon was a lifetime pass.
To squash more of your hopes for a peaceful summer – don’t think if you live outside one of those battleground states you’re going to be immune from the madness. There are 34 Senate seats up, and the Republicans have to defend 24 of those. Given that there’s already one SCOTUS seat in limbo, I hope you enjoy being harassed walking into & out of Target & Costco.
To improve your mood before the comments, here’s some Pet Shop Boys.
I’ll be seeing them LIVE on October 24th. I may be the only breeder there.
Tonight’s Copa Schedule:
- USA vs Costa Rica – 8:00 – @ Soldier Field
- Colombia vs Paraguay – 10:30 – @ the Rose Bowl
I wonder whose anthem will get screwed up tonight? Sunday was Uruguay, and Monday was Chile. Here’s hoping they’ve dusted off Carl Lewis for another Chicago appearance.
Alternative Programming:
- ABC – “The Bachelorette” – 8:00
- Is Aaron Rodgers’ brother still on? How many of them have VD yet? So many questions…
- Showtime – “60 Minutes Sports” – 9:00
- this will be where they show the somewhat-talked about Marshawn Lynch interview.
- VH1 – “Purple Rain” – 9:00
I discovered that there is apparently a “Univision Canada” channel, and it is the network showing the Copa up here. Since it’s neither a mandatory French channle nor part of my optional cable packages, it’s been all questionable streams for me. I think my wife would prefer I watch Russian porn on my iPad than garbled Russian TV feeds.
THAT ARRANGED CAN BE!
?no-auto
Stop teasing me!
http://i0.wp.com/www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/pepe-07-kicking-another-player-in-the-groin.gif
His post-hit hop elevates it from good to great.
That was actually very well executed.
Dick move (no pun intended), but still. It was a TALENTED dick move.
Practice at home, kids.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/41ad80bc46206fdb1a3d508b846d17b7/tumblr_nayg08GuyL1qayn5eo1_1280.jpg
http://www.mmanews.pl/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/belfort_kick.gif
Sorry. Gotta rep the 505.
Randy Couture retirement party.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/30ce0cd8717a149a52601eedd3a76898/tumblr_muvsvutN1a1ry1rm7o2_r1_400.gif
JEALOUS
Candice, save me!
http://images.virgula.uol.com.br/2015/06/gif-1.gif
The gif hunt is an underappreciated part of tumblr fandoms. http://may0osh.tumblr.com/post/105984678947/candice-swanepoel-gif-hunt-under-the-cut
Just getting ready for “leadership training”…….
http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2013/08/Kori/punch-to-the-groin.gif
I swear to god Dempsey looks like the fucking speed freak that broke into my apartment and stole my shitty used VCR for meth money back when I was stationed in Charleston…
Then it’s a good thing the PNW isn’t known for its mountains of methamphetimes.
My groin is feeling rather stressed given the current series of gifs.
http://www.loodzwaar.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/lz_gd_23_01.gif
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-01/enhanced/webdr07/29/5/anigif_enhanced-10026-1390992275-4.gif
Thank you for bringing this particular gif into our lives.
We doing soccer fail gifs, ok then
?ts=1398607686
One of my all time Favre-orites.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/brett-favre-hit-in-groin.gif
The accuracy needed to hit such a small target is mind-boggling.
So we had the Bachelorette on last night and there is a guy on it named Chad who is seriously right on the verge of a roid rage. It is fascinating.
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/article/media_slots/photos/000/622/395/SuhDirty_original.gif
http://i.imgur.com/rKmtOsW.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/9a72c15f24dfedb2237007364acd2bd2/tumblr_mfkh4wFhrz1rcus2ho1_400.gif
Switching to Dirt Stillers/Dirt Jets.
3-0
?w=540&h=281
http://img.memecdn.com/What-have-I-done_o_94042.gif
Do or do not. There is no try.
GOAL!
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/7/8/12/anigif_enhanced-buzz-22847-1373300338-16.gif
Obligatory…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcNhDstL4-k
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/2018857/soccer-fail-o.gif
Bench clearing brawl in Baltimore vs KC.
Goddammit, that’s all we fucking need…injuries and suspensions.
F.M.L.!!!!!!!!!
A melee in Baltimore? Why I never!
The Royals always get chippy.
I saw an Os/Red Sox brawl live once. It’s really fun to watch one live. I hate to admit to feeling this way, but it really was very interesting to be able to see the whole thing at once.
I was at one as a kid when Jack McDowell got the shit knocked out of him. It was about the best you could hope for when watching the White Sox.
http://ama2.arrowheadmartial1.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/groin-kick.gif
She might need glasses for driving.
Just saying…her distance vision might not be the best.
?w=1000
http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/neymar-dive-uru.gif
That looks familiar somehow.
Floppers gonna flop.
God fucking damn it…I mean sometimes its just breathtaking how fucking terrible the US is at soccer.
I get that it doesn’t get the top flight talent but every time I see the TMNT’s play, its like this is the first fucking time they ave every played with each other before and just 14 minutes prior, they just met.
http://cbssports.com/images/blogs/ROBISON-KICK-JUNK.gif
http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/soccer-dive-fail.gif
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/20150302/5179880/kicked-in-groin-o.gif
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1760171/groinkickgif.gif
Can’t stop looking at Dee.
She looks positively radiant and almost totally non-birdlike there.
I think she gives most of us a comedy boner (old, old joke).
Wow. Soldier Field is just empty. How can we not fill up one of the smallest football stadiums for a USMNT game?
Because Murka
http://chicagostylesports.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/dont-care-Jay-Cutler-1.jpg
Everyone to Bernie Sanders:
http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/attachment.php?attachmentid=138282&d=1407315836
Says the republican.
Ex-Republican. I’m a Free Agent.
You should consider the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
http://www.loonyparty.com/
I’ve been a member since 2003.
Oh, its a real thing. I was expecting very, very creepy porn for some reason.
Not Moose
DFO Olympics, anyone?
http://sliptalk.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/18211313/redneck-fails-16.gif
http://i.makeagif.com/media/10-15-2015/U88ItI.gif
I’m on board for the bungee cord pull down the slip and slide through burning stuff
In that case, you’re gonna love the flooded crane water skiing events.
Oooops…adding the link might help.
http://i772.photobucket.com/albums/yy1/simonejester/animations/129167157686045974.gif
HOW IS THIS NOT A RIDE AT EVERY CARNIVAL!?!
http://hapkido-defense-system.com/Down%20Does%20Not%20Mean%20Out.gif
One-on-One Field Hockey
Goal!
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–w8E6Gk1V–/193wxp0ekwqcsgif.gif
http://cdn0.sbnation.com/assets/3630653/RG3nuts2.gif
http://www.theonion.com/article/campaign-announces-clinton-has-entered-incubation–53055
So which is the best way to cheer on this game. root for the USA or root against them so they eventually clean house and make a team that can compete
This is going to be a long night.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Jack-Donaghy-Pouring-Alcohol-Loop-30-Rock.gif
8:00:00 PM: New Jersey polls close.
8:00:01 PM: “Its too early to call the race.” – CNN
No shit, really?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/da07befdab4a886ba6f637742d10fb3b/tumblr_neyrkvLN5v1qbyb95o5_250.gif
She’s right. I just saw her in an ad on Univision and she definitely sounds way smarter in Spanish.
Costa Rica: NAWT LIBERTARIAN
“Costa Rica was sparsely inhabited by indigenous people before coming under Spanish rule in the 16th century. It remained a peripheral colony of the empire until independence as part of the short-lived First Mexican Empire, followed by membership in the United Provinces of Central America, from which it formally declared sovereignty in 1847. Since then, Costa Rica has remained among the most stable, prosperous, and progressive nations in Latin America. Following a brief but bloody civil war, it permanently abolished its army in 1949, becoming the first of only a few sovereign nations without a standing army.
Costa Rica has consistently performed favorably in the Human Development Index (HDI), placing 69th in the world as of 2015, among the highest of any Latin American nation. It has also been cited by the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) as having attained much higher human development than other countries at the same income levels, with a better record on human development and inequality than the median of the region. Its rapidly developing economy, once heavily dependent on agriculture, has diversified to include sectors such as finance, pharmaceuticals, and ecotourism.
Costa Rica is known for its progressive environmental policies, being the only country to meet all five criteria established to measure environmental sustainability.It was ranked 42nd in the world, and third in the Americas, in the 2016 Environmental Performance Index, was twice ranked the best performing country in the New Economics Foundation’s (NEF) Happy Planet Index, which measures environmental sustainability, and was identified by the NEF as the greenest country in the world in 2009. Costa Rica officially plans to become a carbon-neutral country by 2021. In 2012, it became the first country in the Americas to ban recreational hunting.”
Copa Centenario: Clusterfuck or Biggest Clusterfuck?
Yes
Some people at Wal-Mart have opinions that I think should be given considerable support.
http://brostrick-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/people-of-walmart-pictures.png
Per Wikipedia:
The Libertarian Party supports the legalization of all victimless crimes,[40] including drugs,[74][75][76][77] pornography,[74] prostitution,[74][75][76][77] polygamy,[78] gambling,[79] removal of restrictions on homosexuality,[76] opposes any kind of censorship and supports freedom of speech,[80] and supports the right to keep and bear arms[75] while opposing Federal capital punishment.[81] The Libertarian Party’s platform states: “Government does not have the authority to define, license or restrict personal relationships. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships.”
How are they not popular?!
Well, for starters…
http://www.infostormer.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Pat-Buchanan1.jpg
Pat Buchanan is as libertarian as I am, which is to say mortally opposed.
“But no doubt there is a real trend in this country, a deeply libertarian trend. On the left, it favors same-sex marriage, gambling, even prostitution. Legalization of all of these things, which used to be considered vices and because of the revenue involved and because of the belief that individuals should have autonomy. And on the right, there is libertarianism as well. Everybody has to have his AR-15 rifle and its 30-round clip. But this is the sentiment in the country, I think, sort of the decline of the community and the rise of the idea of the autonomous and privileged self. And this is a trend and it’s going to continue.”
— from a January 2014 episode of The McLaughlin Group
?w=400&c=1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d45x4OpMoow
Ever been stuck in a room with a bunch? Is terrifying.
They’re like cats. Completely dependent on others/government while desperately trying to convince you they’re independent.
“There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kid’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs.”
— John Rogers
A right-winger I know posted a link to something about the LP supporting the right to freedom from government interference in medical decisions and I came so fucking close to congratulating him on becoming pro-choice just to piss him off and for being a giant hypocrite.
Thanks everyone. You may have talked me down from the ledge.
Now I’m back to my original choices of “Dick Hurtz”, “King George III”, “Optimus Prime”, or “None of the Above”.
Dick Hertz/Deez Nuts is an excellent ticket to punch.
Libertarians are also against things like government in general (apart from the military, of course!).
To quote Grover Norquist: “I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.”
Fun!
Whereas in reality, it just means schools won’t be opening in the fall — which is exactly what will happen in Kansas because they elected one of Norquist’s dickless supplicants.
http://www.simpsonspark.com/framegrabs/2f10/frame219.jpg
Exactly.
This could also apply to Double J.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/06/07/balls-of-steels-afl-beat-round-11-2/#comment-190106
If you are walking out of a Sam’s Club we already know who your presumptive candidate is.
Somewhat related. My great grandfather helped fund Sam Walton when he was starting Walmart. Ended up rich as fuck and an absolute terrible person. He had servants that he treated like a stereotypical slave owner from any TV show or movie. This was 1996
Yeah, but 1996 Arkansas was basically 1796 America.
Hell, 2016 Arkansas is maybe catching up to 1916 America.
Open tags? This whole fucking conversation is a time warp to 1996!
PIG SOOOOEEEYYYYYYY
It was Chicago, but that one area of Chicago that is full of rich dbags (North Shore). 5 million dollar condo that was barely bigger than a $400 a month apartment anywhere else. And you are expected to not dress in tattered clothes and gym shorts when you go out so I hated going to visit.
It seems like I’m the only one getting fucked in the van tonight.
I don’t know. This guy probably likes Hillary.
http://cdn.popdust.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/People-Of-Walmart-Photos-17_2014-10-27_21-27-04-589×373.jpg
Today is an important holiday: it’s Emily Ratajkowski’s birthday.
Up in The Canada every weekend it’s “Support Your Local Whatever Tag Day”. They congregate around beer, liquor, grocery and sports stores and it feels great to turn down the small children that ask you to donate.
Welcome to real life, kids. People will go out of their way to crush your hopes and dreams.
Performing a public service never felt so good…
I heard that there is a Support Bangin’ Your Wife and We Thank You Vury Mooch Day near the Cooper’s Foods, aboot three blocks from the BeaverTails.
/terribly soorry
grumble grumble…Your Mom grumble grumble…
http://www.post-gazette.com/image/2015/01/22/ca0,140,4250,2974/Patriots-Belichick.jpg
Jeff Ireland says every night is Support Dez Bryant’s Mom Night.
I’ve never been to a Target or Costco that allows political solicitations on their property. You Canuckistanians could learn a thing or two.
I’m basing it off being in Palm Springs during the 2012 election.
Oh. Fuck California.