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Sunday Open Thread

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

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Sunday action features the Euro, Copa America, baseball, and Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final.

On the European front, Turkey plays Croatia, it’s a funtime Ottoman Empire family reunion.

Northern Ireland plays Poland,

Germany plays Ukraine, I’m guessing it will go about as well for the Ukrainians as Operation Barbarossa did for them.

Copa America features Group B’s final game.

Ecuador-Haiti play each other, Haiti is eliminated from advancing further, but Ecuador can with a win and a losing result in the other game.

Brazil plays Peru, if they draw, they both advance, if one wins, the loser will not advance if Ecuador wins.

Penguins can clinch their fourth Stanley Cup tonight, while San Jose will try to force a Game 7.  Pens outshot the Sharks almost 2:1 Thursday, but a herculean effort by Jones allowed San Jose to live another day.

Enjoy the day.

 

 

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I turned off the blowout of a game early enough I can watch the whole 38 min of GoT we got last week before the new ep if I skip the ads and credits

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WCS

/Vitamin X bottle flies open

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herodotus450

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of nut shots, anyone else pulling for several of the Warriors to hit Dellavedova and/or Bron in the sac tonight?

/may have a problem

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Senor Weaselo

That would be impressive, isn’t the game tomorrow night?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Touché.

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Senor Weaselo

So, if you take a shot for every Hamilton reference at tonight’s Tonys, you’ll be… let’s see, dead in 90 minutes.

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King Hippo

Stuck in hell (Myrtle Beach, twins’ 15th birthday trip and they choice) and my hotel TV’s fucking NBC!!?? channel is fucked up. So now I have to hope that the WiFi suffices to run a stream, or I will have to deal with the hotel bar (at best, assuming THEIR NBC isn’t fucked, and they are showing the match).

Life just hates me.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My apologies for laughing at you.

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herodotus450

We will all band together on the DFO side to relay every word that comes out of Doc Emrick’s mouth to you

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laserguru

David Freese of the Pirates uses “Stink fist” by Tool as his walk up music.

Duly noted.

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Unsurprised

Everyone I know is a fucking idiot. Including me.

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Senor Weaselo

Yes. Yes we are. But we’re very lovable idiots.

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JustStopDude

NO MAS NO MAS!!!

Ecuador is just stomping on throats!

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scotchnaut

[Is not able to grow a proper playoff beard]

[whines to refs about it]

-Sidney Crosby

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King Hippo

this is TRUE, but methinks the shy Tories lift the Cup tonight.

/Kessler probably tries to eat it

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Fronkenshteen

Safe, efficient Azerbaijani Energy, brought to you by SOCAR:

http://images2.naharnet.com/images/174577/w460.jpg

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scotchnaut

Aproproop of nothing-I give you under-rated Stand-Upper Greg Proops. He’s got all the vocab and obscure references of Dennis Miller with none of the knee-jerk conservative opinions…

https://youtu.be/aJYY1CFKzTg

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Fronkenshteen

I recently subscribed to HowlFM. They have 2 of his albums on there; “Elsewhere” and “Proops Digs In”. Funny shit. He was on a few Superego sketches, too.

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Senor Weaselo

+1,000 points.

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Fronkenshteen

Sneaky nut shot, there.

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Unsurprised

Nut shots for all!

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Fronkenshteen

$-o/u Puck line
Pittsburgh Penguins -118 -1.5(+250)
San Jose Sharks 5o30 +1.5(-315)

Anyone else surprised Pitt is the favorite here?

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scotchnaut

I’m sure it’s just because Vegas is trying to draw in the several dozen Sharks fans to lay some money down…

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scotchnaut

A triple-header on Monday? Sure looks like a work-at-home day tomorrow all of a sudden.

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scotchnaut

Ukraine is simply STARVING for a goal.

/read The Bloodlands and get back to me

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s just….. well-executed.

Get it?

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scotchnaut

“Oh, we ‘get it’ alright.”

-Polish officers “escorted” to Katyn Forest

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Horatio Cornblower

“Germany strikes first against Ukraine!”

Like that’s never happened before.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Can you blame them?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

KISS HER!!!!!!
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JustStopDude

So a woman on vacation in Qatar reported being drugged and raped by a local…so naturally she is in her 3rd month of imprisonment for adultery.

My family asked me if they could visit the UAE when I was living and working there. I told them under no uncertain terms that they should ever step foot in the Middle East.

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Unsurprised

But if you’re a male mercenary, I’ve heard it can be pretty fun.

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JustStopDude

Boy oh boy…you know the last time a bunch of Krauts cut through Ukrainian lines…a shit load of people died…

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Horatio Cornblower

Today seems like a good day to say that Curt Schilling probably knows more about PEDs than he wants you to think.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/schilcu01.shtml

Check out those stats and pay particular attention to before and after 1997. Then go look at the stats of McGwire, Sosa and Clemens, look at their before and after 1996/1997 stats and ask yourself what those stats have in common. Spoiler alert: They all get a LOT better.

But I’m sure Curt just learned to harness his velocity in ’97.

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Unsurprised

It’s probably when he started his lifelong love affair with investing.

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Unsurprised

*also

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Horatio Cornblower

If only they had PEDs for investing…

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Unsurprised

They kind of do, but Schilling obviously never thought to take them.

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Unsurprised

They certainly don’t have PEDs for ethics, however.

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JustStopDude

I would love to see Russia and England kicked out of the tournament. It would lead to EPIC hot teaks on the internet!!!

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JustStopDude

I would love to see Russia and England kicked out of the tournament. It would lead to EPIC hot teaks on the internet!!!

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JustStopDude

Jesus…they arrested some idiot in California who was heavily armed and apparently going to check out a gay pride parade.

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-gay-pride-la-weapons-20160612-snap-story.html

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m generally against police brutality but in this case I’d be willing to look the other way for as long as it takes.

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Fronkenshteen

If they have a pride parade in DC, I’m gonna march with them. I feel like they could use a show of support from us straights.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/hamburger/arrested%20development/freedom.gif

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

DC’s Pride Parade was yesterday. Some Caps fans were giving some of the players shit because they were in it.

http://www.capitalpride.org/events/parade-2016/

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Parade was yesterday but there are more events today, including something at DuPont right now.

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Unsurprised

I’m shocked, SHOCKED to hear of intolerance from Washington sports fans.

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Unsurprised

I can’t imagine what the police presence of any public event must be like in Washington these days even before this shit.

It saddens me to think of how the terrorists won and D.C. has turned into a police state ruled by fear and exploited to become gentrified and filled with war profiteers.

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Unsurprised

“The car had Indiana plates, and the law enforcement source said the man arrested was white.”

Gee, I wonder what could motivate such a man to want to assault the southern California LGBTQ community.

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Unsurprised

I wonder how many NRA propaganda-swilling, anti-government gun nuts have hard-ons at the news that it too 11 police officers to take down one civilian with an AR-15. I’m certain it’s more than a few.

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Horatio Cornblower

I just came in from working all day in the yard and trying to ignore reality, but did the Northern Ireland team come out wearing green?

I’m not sure if that’s an insult to the Republic or a subtle olive branch but today I’m going to believe the latter.

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Senor Weaselo

I’d believe the former!

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Fronkenshteen

http://i.makeagif.com/media/8-31-2015/K7ciwp.gif

POLISH POWER!

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Horatio Cornblower

Good ol’ Jozef Bednarski

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Putski

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Granted, I don’t know shit about futbol.
But I really feel that this match in particular could benefit from the Benny Hill Theme playing on a loop in the background.

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Wakezilla

I’d say I’m surprised the Colombians lost last night, but, Costa Rica is a tough out. So now they get Brazil (most likely). Luckily for them, it’s more like Brazil lite, so, barring a meltdown, they should still be fine. But if they lose, oh man, grab a bag of popcorn because the shit storm that will follow will be amazing.

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JustStopDude

The Columbia manager fucking threw that match through shear stupidity.

What on god’s green earth was he thinking switching out his goalie? He literally shuffled the team up, trying to max out resting the players because he expected Los Ticos to just roll over.

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Horatio Cornblower

The difference Rodriguez made was amazing.

I don’t think a full-strength Colombia is going to have a hard time with Brazil.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Not at all. He rested players on purpose.

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Wakezilla

Bartosz Kapustka is 19 years old and is having himself a beatly game for Poland. I can’t believe he hasn’t scored yet. If he can net a few, I have a feeling he’ll be seeing a lot of rainbow colored Euros.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

These guys suck ass.
Maybe Ukraine does have a shot.
/still not betting

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

sent that one OVER the submarine’s screen door ,, smgdh

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Fronkenshteen

Say, fellers. Which network is the Euro on?
/struggling with AppleTV & Amazon Fire thingy.

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King Hippo

ESPN regular

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Fronkenshteen

Shanksh

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King Hippo

has anyone even put a shot on goal yet??

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If by shot you mean a hand and goal you mean my penis…then still no.

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Wakezilla

Not the Irish. They’ve been pretty, pretty terrible.

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Senor Weaselo

Morn…shit, afternoon. Crack o’ noon, woo!
*checks Euro score* Yay Croatia!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it football season yet?

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King Hippo

Sun up to sundown yesterday and today! Just…lesser.

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King Hippo

oh great, the church bombers play a 4-5-1. The Greeks aren’t here, but they are in spirit.

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Doktor Zymm

Perfect tennis weather out today! I’ve discovered that tennis skirts are actually really comfortable for playing tennis in (funny how that works). I actually found a tennis skirt that is burgundy with gold stitching around the bottom hem, so I’ll be able to transition seamlessly from tennis court to preseason game watching in August.

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herodotus450

Are you sure it’s not more of a maroon?

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Doktor Zymm

It’s totally maroon and yellow, but that’s not nearly as grand sounding

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herodotus450

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ballsofsteelandfury

Does it have pockets for balls? And, if so, can those pockets be used to store beers during preseason games?

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Doktor Zymm

Yes and yes.

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King Hippo

gonna be 97 in North Cakalaky today.

/mumbles about life choices foar a few hours.

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JustStopDude

HOLY SHIT 50 people were killed in a mass shooting?!?

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Duchess

Yup someone shot up a gay club in Orlando

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I saw that story an hour ago and they only had 20 dead. I really hope the total doesn’t keep going up

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Duchess

50 dead and 53 wounded

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

In your “not surprising but still fucking horrible” category, the Texas LG tweeted out a bible passage about reaping what you sow

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Doktor Zymm

Wait, what?

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JustStopDude

I read a fairly good bit. I like to think I am well read…though whenever I see a sticker on a book “Best Seller!” I know I am going to hate it.

In high school, I dated a bird that was really…like insane level, into the beatniks. One of her favorites was William Burroughs which I gave numerous attempts at “getting”…I just didn’t see the point. I mean I get he does the constant stream of consciousness shtick…I just found it utterly mundane.

Also, at the time, I myself was struggling with opiate addiction and pretty much I found his whole act pretty much the same thing I was putting my family through.

I bring this up because I just finished the two books his son “William Jr” wrote before he died in ’81 of alcoholism. Dear god the son was so much fucking better as a writer.

What is really hilarious…in a terribly sad way, was how utterly out of touch the old man was to reality and what he put his son through. Pretty much he ignored his son until 16, had him shipped off to him to Tangiers, where he ignored his son getting molested and assaulted by dad’s drug buddies for months, and then shipped him back when the nuance was gone.

I have no fucking clue what caused me to go off on this tangent…

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JustStopDude

There is NOTHING you can get shaved into the side of your head…that does not make everyone else assume you are a dangerous moron…

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King Hippo

Well, he’s already a Croat, so po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to ,, no ofence

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King Hippo

I must say, these Serb liquidators play some damned beautiful footy. Sure do hit the bar a lot, though. SO HEY, perfect side FOAR DFO, amirite??

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Unless I am missing something. If Brazil and Peru tie, can’t Equador still advance if they win by 2 goals?

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Yes, they would.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

In case my last comment seemed random I was responding to the threads main content. Just for the record

What is the tiebreaker if the games end 0-0/1/0, 1-1/2-1 etc? They would be tied in goal differential/goals for/goals against

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King Hippo

Average penis size?

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

2nd tiebreaker is goals scored, Head-to-head is third tiebreaker. If not they draw lots apparently. If it’s 5-all, Brazil advances because they have the best goal differential and goals scored. Peru has a goal differential of +1 and 3 goals scored to Ecuador’s 0 and 2 goals. If Ecuador wins and matches Peru’s goals scored and differential, since their head to head game was a draw, they draw lots to see who goes ahead.

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Q: What do you call a bleeding Croat

Ottoman Turk: “A good start”

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Redshirt

First Blood: Part II is the quintessential 80s love story.

Boy meets Girl.
Boy falls in love.
Girl get killed by Vietnamese Army.
Boy kills Vietnamese Army.

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

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JustStopDude

Stallone does not get the credit he deserves for being a quality screen writer.

Doesn’t help he has been phoning in the crap roles the last 10 years…

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Redshirt

I don’t know. He brought his acting boots for Rocky VI and Creed.

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JustStopDude

People tend to forget he fucking wrote Rocky. His first movie, he wrote the script and got it made, and it was a huge success. That doesn’t happen without a LOT of talent. Granted it was a bit easier back then but Rocky is a fucking fantastic script, especially considering cinema’s current crop of shit getting released.

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Senor Weaselo

Creed was like if Rocky V was good.

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King Hippo

Sly Stallone, like Hippo, is an American Evertonian. But I talk English MOAR BETTER.

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rockingdog

http://www.ca2016.com/bracket

Looks like USA will play the runner-up in group B.

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King Hippo

Holy fuckballs, Modric…

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King Hippo

This is quite the genocide-y opener, no?

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JustStopDude

I hook up from time to time with a med student who is from Turkey.

If I am not careful, she can go on for hours about the “genocide” in Palistine.

Ask her about Armenians…nothing but slurs.

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herodotus450

Do you meet her in Constantinople?

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