Your “Oh Well; When Do Euro Knockouts Start?” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL Reportings:

  • Pete Carroll once again says Russell Wilson is really, really, really dialled in. Usually when a coach is that effuse, I’m going to drop said player from my fantasy roster.
  • Keeping Jim Caldwell was an “easy decision”, according to Lions new GM Bob Quinn. “Finding” Jim Caldwell proved a more difficult task, so waiting for him to show up is probably the right call.
Plus, Martha Ford stole his soul.
  • First Joe Flacco, now actual-elite player Adrian Peterson is talking about how mentally grinding off-season preparations are. He is about 6600 yards shy of Emmitt Smith’s record, so that’s a salient point in the equation.
  • Getting ready for Cowboys training camp is Joseph Randle, who picked up a charge of threatening a sheriff’s deputy while already in jail on other charges. Oh sure, the Cowboys released him last year, but ol’ Double J knows when a man has turned his life around and deserves another chance.
  • The Cavs had their parade today, and Jim Brown, Earnest Byner & Bernie Kosar showed up as well.

Finally, Chris Mortensen is going to be given the Dick McCann Award by the Pro Football Writers Association, and will get recognition at the Hall Of Fame enshrinement in August.


Well, that’s about it, isn’t it.

The USMNT put on a valiant effort for about 2 minutes last night, and then Argentina started putting them away, with the dagger being this piece of brilliance by Lionel Messi: (Russian feed because US feed blocked by geolocating.)

https://youtu.be/Hxcy0qg9lZU

Goddamned magic.

So, since no one cares about third place, it’s time for people to care about the Euro knockout stages, where it’s one-and-done and the freewheeling nautre of the first games gives way to boring tactical play and lots of 1-0 or shootout victories.

Stiil, Iceland

This twitter account following the matches live is fantastic. And read fellow Commentist litre_cola’s account of being at this fixture, the third in his series on catching matches & kicking habits. Lucky bastard.


If you want to feel icky, released today was the inventory police seized from the Neverland Ranch in November 2003, an 88 page dossier of disturbing images and documents, which somehow never crossed into public view until early this morning. Here’s a link to the list, and that has a link to the images. Here’s all you need to know if you are curious about clicking through:

Michael Jackson’s California home contained a considerable stash of pornography as well as sexual imagery featuring children, S&M and animal torture, according to purported police reports. The horrid list included books stuffed with images of nude children, sadomasochism, and even strangely morphed images of children’s faces on naked adults.


Tonight’s Sports:

  • Copa: Colombia vs Chile – 8:00 – Soldier Field
  • NHL: Awards Ceremony – 7:00 – NBCSN; SN (Canada)
    • from Las Vegas; expect the franchise announcement to be made official
      • with a cringe-worthy “roll of the dice” reference from Gary Bettman
    • hosted by Will Arnett
    • list of nominees here.

As always,

FUCK MARK MESSIER!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
327 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Wakezilla

Ice Football strong taek:The NHL should bend over backwards to put Las Vegas into this coming season. The fact that they’re waiting a year is bad because if the NFL decides to move Oakland to Las Vegas, nobody is going to give a shit about the hockey team. At least if they get it started this fall, there could be a sentimentality of being the first real pro franchise in the city.

Also, LOL at Quebec. Of course they aren’t getting an expansion team. It makes more sense to make Quebec to pay way more money to move a team so the owners get more money.

Poi-taek\:

In 2006, if someone told me that in 10 years, the Democrats will be the leading proponents of extra-judicial watch lists & no-fly lists, I would have thought they were crazy. And yet, here we are.

Pass the beer nuts

Senor Weaselo

Rebuttal: Gary Bettman

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose’s fault…as usual.
Gin Blossoms – Follow You Down
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LuH0ywYVQc

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Playing that one in a gig Saturday.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah5gAkna3jI

ain’t care;

Gin Blossoms – Hey Jealousy

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

Let’s kick things off old school –
Linsk Minyk – On the road again : https://youtu.be/gg3sRTeDigg?t=1m20s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I joined a poker game at this bar.

I see no way this can end badly.

Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

Shit. I totally expected this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn2NVJLnN38

Sill Bimmons

DROPPED

King Hippo

liek it’s hot??

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Brocky

When god designed the shar pei, I think he just took a dachshund and mushed together it as short as he could go

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trust, god didn’t design the shar pei. It took human fuck uppery to do that shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

*me

Sill Bimmons

That should have been a penalty.

Wakezilla

That ref runs like he has to take a shit. I think he’s letting things go so he can use the crapper

Unsurprised

Sometimes I forget that people can still sort of see me at my desk against the window with the blinds open horizontally – namely the dick on the phone across the street and five floors up.

Wakezilla

Me to my wife 30 minutes ago: “That rain delay was so long, I bet you someone gave an impassioned speech and the Colombians will rally and beat Chile.”

I watch too many sports movies. . . .

Hola hot Colombian chick

Unsurprised

You’re gonna want to see this video of Charlotte McKinney dancing. https://www.instagram.com/p/BGDzEkwrjHP/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and then that fat fuck walks out……

good stuff before that though.

Wakezilla

HNNNGH! I like how the video is nice and long, kind of like my attention span

Unsurprised

Instagram allowing minute-long videos was a godsend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(Hopefully) last overheard at the bar:

So he finishes in the shot glass, offers it to her, she says no, and the old guy takes it down!

[No words]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can’t even be random enough for this conversation. Glad you are the one sitting there.

Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

Exactly.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Overheard at the bar continued:

They went for a couples handjob!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Overheard at the bar, night two:

Let’s go to a rub and tug.
I think that’s a bad idea.
It’s $3!

King Hippo

Then it’s a REALLY BAD idea!!!

Senor Weaselo

I imagine you get what you pay for.

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Senor Weaselo

So down two goals and one man, I imagine Colombia’s in trouble.

King Hippo

theoretically, better than 1 goal and 2 men down?

Senor Weaselo

Depends on how much time’s left, but right now, 70th minute, I might take the extra man down in exchange for the goal.

Brocky

comment image

Senor Weaselo

That’s real MMA, ‘Murikan Martial Arts.

rockingdog

is that Trumps vice president?

King Hippo

This would be kinda sexy if it was the women’s South American Euros. Que lastima.

King Hippo

that sure ’nuff beats a pineapple under the sea, if you know what I mean…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I literally do not

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good answer. I kinda wanna hear him ‘splain this one meself.

King Hippo

Here ya go. Splanation.

Spanky Datass

It’s the “BOY HOWDY” vanity plate that completes the image.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…I didn’t even see that before.

King Hippo

swamp el futbol de lesser WOO

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You sonuvabitch.

/he earned it
//still hate that guy

theeWeeBabySeamus

And evening to you as well sir. Tonight I will avoid speaking directly to your vagina.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmm…..
The echo freaks me out?
/BOOM!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

“Shadowland of the Deviates”
That’s fucking poetic.

ballsofsteelandfury

Better than saying North Hollywood.

Unsurprised

How has no one here run into Lucy at a Denver CLE or something?

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know what that’s from! The Great Outdoors, right?

Unsurprised

Yep

Spanky Datass

That’s what you get for wasting booze and wearing a bow tie, asshole.

Unsurprised

If she was in a bikini more often, maybe I’d start watching Agents of SHIELD of my own volition.

http://116.imagebam.com/download/LYg3zU-DSjprQvvP_RWMew/49129/491283278/ChloeBennet.gif

Unsurprised

*were?

My grammar skills are escaping my brain to make room for nonsense about fee simples.

Sill Bimmons

http://t12.deviantart.net/Hb32PaluVZilio-NRm57xVBMOz0=/300×200/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre10/5712/th/pre/f/2010/152/a/6/needs_moar_football_by_idawggeh.png

theeWeeBabySeamus

Touchdown (mini and female) Seahawks?
So Russell Wilson used to be female and white?
Oh wait, I forgot…..he still is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaannnnd….he’s also still 4’7″ ad 76 lbs.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

No WAY is Charles Harry’s father.

Unsurprised

Didn’t Diana have a Scottish bodyguard who looks really similar to him?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

PRESSING ANNOUNCEMENT!! I forgot that there is a Thursday AFL game!

That means that, if you haven’t PUT THE TIP IN, you should do it TONIGHT!!

I will endeavour to put the AFL Beat out tonight. I hope.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My tip is in!

:giggity:

Unsurprised

I disagree with Doc Zymm. I would not be surprised to see restrictions based on the no-fly list upheld because the list has and will survive because the Court will always defer to the government on national security. As a tangent to that, I could see the 4th Amendment being effectively neutered in my lifetime. The “unreasonable” element of searches is under such constant erosion that we’re a generation from “Papers, please” being totally legal at the federal level.

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Unsurprised

If God were just, he would get dick cancer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So for him whole body cancer.

herodotus450
Brocky
Senor Weaselo

Knuckles has seen some shit.

Brocky

My goodness, it would appear the site has a rather effective image blocker.

I swear to god that was a gif of brian murray in wayne’s world when i first saw it

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Porky Prime

comment image

King Hippo

Will Alexis’ mom have to bring orange slices again tomorrow??

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Hey Mickey you’re so fine, You’re so fine so get in line (for my ark)

Doktor Zymm

Fun fact, Toni Basil is now 72.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, really?