Happy Independence Day to everyone, even you godless Canadian bastards.
In terms of sporting events we have Wimbledon Round of 16 action. I wonder if Andy Murray will be regarded as British or Scottish by the time this tournament ends (this is not a Brexit comment)
http://www.isandymurraystillbritish.com/
There is also the Tour De France where you watch people watching cycling. Real exhilarating stuff there.
We also have some midseason doldrums baseball if that is your pleasure.
For the Republic!
Here ya go Moose:
Weezer – Surf Wax America
https://youtu.be/52FgoqFPxKc
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d4be3d330c0bf076afcaddf39521d337/tumblr_mws0vrQPJP1rkp7jjo1_500.jpg
Fucking Russia, man.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/1a458fd671888ba53b151111c9e575ad/tumblr_o8z3uzXc4J1ufbwoco1_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cdbaa12e0f8f966f43f936065ff6d6a1/tumblr_o93030VcYR1ujl0qgo1_250.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/a1b6053b46da37c0e10c3672caa53caf/tumblr_o9sah6JjLQ1v1n3qho1_400.jpg
“I’ll take, What is a Donald Trump Rally? for 600, Alex.”
http://65.media.tumblr.com/a0ca79f70d3d91d67b0898360704e5a9/tumblr_nitjgdbXU51qlqle5o1_1280.png
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f6edc880e0927c43a3b33a1fe0f02373/tumblr_nt8p87eDIt1s2yegdo1_500.gif
As someone who grew up in the desert, watching people waste water tightens up my asshole and makes me want to murder.
Going surfing at a “local” beach.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b05d847aba4689779eb96fbac63c0e18/tumblr_n1de2wOstI1s1gzyao1_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1fa2366a45fa0eafb8d8d4e737e7e676/tumblr_nq1ymgbj0y1ru67qro1_250.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/c10813b8a5898cc93231a22f5d605597/tumblr_o672gchunC1qg39ewo1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2215f8ecc0a0570d3eedbf289217ac9b/tumblr_o9t3rqZn8t1v1n3qho1_500.gif
i only liked Poehler in Parks and Rec and I cannot remember anything I really liked about Fey.
So what?
I’d take them both out back behind the MILF Island middle school and get them pregnant!
I found the perfect Fourth of July photo on Instagram:
Yes you did. I’m saluting!
Going through radio silence on the baby delivery front.
Meanwhile I’m pacing like the expectant dad would normally do.
Fuck this I need a drink.
Let’s get this party started!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a66579f453d98279691e25f4588ce845/tumblr_o6y5raTMfY1rmerh9o1_540.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7644968ba534a8f7f82b58aa334db6ff/tumblr_o9g9b6iWic1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nl3iT_lRjw
So I got to drive ~2000 miles this past week, involving 2 hour trips to drop off/pick up the kid at his grandparents, and 2 12 hour trips in 3 days between mid-Michigan and Wilmington, DE for my grandfather’s funeral. I usually only go back for funerals, but this is the first time I did it driving in one shot each way by myself. So much Spotify. I’d like to thank Stephen Lynch for getting me through western PA and Ohio.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/5b7d2d7db85cd561e5a6c1326964bc7c/tumblr_o37dml4qrt1rkj2e2o1_500.gif
That’s absolutely goddamn patriotic!
http://65.media.tumblr.com/7e56ce5a5f373108ebe53f886e704eb6/tumblr_o9rxajL8Q81s09re0o1_400.jpg
You just got mom speared, you fucking DICK!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f8325a2af5cf08708fcade28d342c638/tumblr_nl85vkrmSF1qivspno1_400.gif
http://65.media.tumblr.com/ddcef55dac32414095ca14d93022fc5b/tumblr_ne2g5yPzsT1u298duo1_500.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/549456279cb3dc0f6bd86a13dc3b74ae/tumblr_o9rb6w2PPi1s01qkyo1_500.gif
The first pig to fly, 1909.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2e919531582144035e850ab9109851bc/tumblr_o89dsdec8w1s7e5k5o1_500.jpg
For a pig, that’s excellent penmanship!
Monroe Doctrine.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/69559ed1861f7d8d73cc0864412f2c57/tumblr_nqv2zyZAU21rdh3jqo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d8e660d422a4ede3f7da1cf7f5d4e20e/tumblr_n8768kfTVq1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/25c6a047aabfb0ac2bb04ed9f85eaa30/tumblr_n9fy0hIGyA1tuinowo4_250.gif
Eating a filet mignon with some Ruffles and a coke. Oh yeah, we fancy.
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Drake-mazel-tov-snl.gif
Uh, 1/3 fancy. Unless you’ve got no shirt on. Then it’ll drop some more.
Undershirt with the sleeves cut off.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/11ecc75e7c2c2e2f998f9570aa212396/tumblr_n7zpbihgZQ1s0a0voo1_1280.jpg
The line between reality and parody is so blurred right now…
http://crooksandliars.com/files/stockphotos/photo_review.png
Helps to have the photo:
http://crooksandliars.com/files/stockphotos/three_amigos_2.jpg
I think the joke has long since been played out about how cool Obama and Trudeau are, but this may have just redeemed the whole thing.
http://i66.tinypic.com/suvzsw.jpg
Crazy ass beach scene out there.
It’s boobies on Parade!
The parking lot at Dockweiler was sold out just after 8 this morning and there are still chuckleheads driving down there expecting to find a parking space.
It’s the 4th of July you nimrods!
Try a different weekend!
Jelly? Jelly.
Oh that’s nothing. It’s also mostly sunny and 70 degrees with a light breeze.
It’s fucking gorgeous out.
So considering the boobies and weather, I feel I must ask….
Do you have a spare room. And also how much are you willing to rent it out for.
Cash is a good starting point, drugs and women are not off the table.
The barrel music is what gets me it’s always so triumphant and cheery when Quint tags him with a barrel. Like suddenly it’s a scene from Altman’s Popeye movie.
I never can’t laugh when Brody whips out his police issue six shooter.
Yeah, well played asshole.
THERE IT IS!!!!
WTG dickhead…you’re shooting THRU water at something that basically is fitted with natural kevlar. Well fucktard…well done.
My little baby girl just said “Scawy shark!”
My vajayjay just contracted a touch.
/seriously, that’s adorable
I occasionally wonder why Quint didn’t take the little guy he had with him at the meeting out with him on the Orca. Seemed like that was his first mate or something.
I once read that Lee Marvin or Sterling Hayden were considered for the role of Quint and I have to admit it’s one of the few times where I still think they would’ve been good alternate universe casting choices. Just not perfect.
Agreed.
But Shaw nailed it. Considering his previous works, I probably wouldn’t have cast him. But dude fucking nailed it.
Happy Independence Day fuckers! The original Brexit! If you’re not watching Jaws at some point today, turn in your ‘Murican card. I’ve half a mind to start a movement to declare Jaws the official movie of Independence Day. And fuck the movie Independence Day! Enjoy!
Does it count if I watch Shark Week instead?
Allowed. As long as they’re American sharks, or at least Australian.
They were Great Whites; those things are gonna vote for Trump just on name recognition alone.
We delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb.
You were on the Indianapolis?
I didn’t check the comments before my initial post, bless you weeBaby.
No, no. All blessings are due to you my friend.
Happy to see you, btw.
Hines Ward playing QB on ESPN Classic right now!!
Tampa Bay attracted about 5, maybe 600 peeps to the yard for the game with the Angels on MLBN. Any city dumb enough to want to shell out a few hundred million FOAR a shit franchise??
“Hi!”-Hartford, CT.
the Steinbrenner family lawyers are on their way with the restraining order
You realize you have earned a beating for just turning on a TB/ANA game…right?
There’s, uh, there’s at least two of us watching it Wee Baby.
Damn, looks like I gotta break out the riding crop.
Meh, was gonna have to soon anyway.
I changed over to Yankees-White Sox.
Considerably more people at this game.
More than that actually.
Quint: Shut off that engine.
Me: Fuck you, dicknuts.
/guns engine
Is it wrong that even now after all these years, I still root for the shark anytime I watch Jaws?
http://www.motherjones.com/files/BrowserPreview_tmp-5.gif
Me too. Had WAY more personality.
My twin kiddies like to watch that movie, but they shriek and run out of the room during all the shark parts.
I’m still pissed off that that smarmy smug fuckwit Hooper…
[SPOILER ALERT]
….didn’t get his shitheel ass all ate up and shit in the movie. Yeah I was 10 and had already read the book so I felt all totes disappoint at that little literary license taken without my goddamned consent.
Fucking Spielberg, man.
Inorite?
Dude fucks Brody’s wife and doesn’t get et?????
I know it didn’t happen on screen, but still!
That sounds pretty adorable, actually.
I’m all in on Team Shark
Although they towed it out to sea yesterday, and some say blew the fucker up with dynamite, this is another reason I’m not walking directly ON the beach today.
http://abc7.com/news/dead-humpback-whale-washes-ashore-at-dockweiler-state-beach/1409586/
This is basically my backyard. I’ve seen bunches of dead sea lions but this was a first.
Dadgum gigantic marine mammals, always fucking it up for everybody.
I decided to name him Chumly.
They should have at least cooked the fucker. When is anyone ever gonna have the chance to eat humpback whale again?? Recoup some of the blowing up costs…
BLOWN UP, SIR!!!!
(sorry…had to)
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/9-17-2015/esBP86.gif
conversational tidbits to get ppl to stop fucking talking to you at your 4th of July friends and/or family gathering:
,
Know what’s ironic? How white chill’uns are so much more expensive on teh BLACK market. I mean, what’s up with THAT?
NOTE: Will NAWT work with Trump supporters.
Well I’m a pent up nervous fucking wreck so I’m going to get my annual 4th of July walk near (most definitely not on, not today) the beach and then start up the festivities.
Jaws is on AMC, the quintessential July 4th movie.
PSA: Starz Kids is running Elf back to back to back all day and night apparently.
Welp, our plans for tonight just got canceled on account of weather. Zymm, you hosting something in the DMV?
Jésus, not to get all PK and shit, but please respect the sun, people!
That’s gonna be a bitch to even out.
That’s a hell of a Spider Man tribute.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/uvezsouorkexdhy3mfau.jpg
http://boredbug.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tan20.jpg
It’s funny because the computer programmer is a nerd.
Good morning all.
The kiddo was admitted at 5:30 this morning in anticipation of delivery.
Small contractions and elevated blood pressure.
It was 27 years ago to the day that her mother and I were married.
Strange fucking world.
Happy birthday America! Let’s grill things!
Happy thoughts, man!! Congrats.
Congrats!
Wait, I read that as the grandchild was delivered at 5:30 this morning. I retract my congratulations, knock on wood, and cross my fingers instead!
I guess she’s suffering from pre-eclampsia and they are inducing labor because of elevated blood pressure.
This could be a long day.
Next update: water broke.
Holy shit this may be a 4th of July baby.
Wooooooooot
Clean up on aisle Right!
Under 9 hours until it’s white trash central up in this mug…
?9040142925802770048
?w=250&h=186
Wooooo!!!!!
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/082015/1438623013_fireworks_showoff_fail.gif
Remember, kids, in several states the most common last words before a fatal accident are “hold my beer and watch this.”
Also pretty sure that’s the state motto of Louisiana.
Morning everyone, I actually have a moment to breathe before a third consecutive outdoor concert! At least this one’s 10 minutes away, not two fucking hours like last night’s.
On a different note, does anyone know/recommend a website to do a bracket creator/prediction contest?
Also on another note, KD to the Warriors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtE3_voC3qU
I am moe than a little fuckng excited about this! I kinda would like Bogut to stay, though Barnes need to get the fuck out.
Maybe this: https://www.bracketsninja.com/
Happy Birthday, America!
*United States.
Happy 4th!
I’m so desperate to watch an NFL game with this commentariat, that if we could all do a synchronized watching of an old game, (any teams, any year) I think I’d be in heaven.
/would actually get too stoned & fall asleep like always
Don’t blow up nothin’ that ain’t supposed to be blowed up real good!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YcsRkF6yBLI/S7HnL_a3p-I/AAAAAAAAJ0U/xV9wiEPm82w/s1600/Farm+Report+Hosts.jpg
Good morning.
Drew Magary (drewmagary):
Have a safe 4th of July and show up to work tomorrow with the same amount of fingers as the last time they saw you
http://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/749983321392906240
retweet of @AntonioBrown84 tweet
(Sent via Seesmic http://www.hootsuite.com)
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HOT DOGS
Assholes and cheeks in bread!
Spent the weekend in Rural Tenn. My sister, who is a professor in the state, took me to a colleague’s family farm. Holy shit it was a blast. They had a stage setup for the front of the farm house and had invited local bands to play. There was over 200 people there. Tents everywhere.
Five kinds of barbecue, EIGHT kinds of shine, and three kinds of grass. Fucking surreal listening to rednecks getting utterly shitfaced and discussing literature, music, and history (seriously, this family was just filled with professors).
I woke up in some woman’s tent yesterday afternoon. I just now got back…Soooooooo much sunburn. At some point, I spent a not insignificant amount of time butt ass naked in the sun.
Was she wearing a back brace?
That’s a quality outing right there.