Your “They Won’t Possibly Just Go Around The Maginot Line” Thursday Open Thread

Today’s highlights begin and end with France-Germany in the UEFA semifinals. France and Germany have played each other many times, including Germany’s elimination of France from the last World Cup. They also fought each other three times in 75 years, in the Franco-Prussian War, WWI and WWII, resulting in millions of casualties and, ultimately, the formation of The European Union, which has been a stunning success and ensures that nothing again will ever go wrong in Europe.

The winner of this game gets Ronaldo and the Portuguese in the finals. Which will be decided by penalty kicks, because of course they will.

In baseball tonight, (ducks), the Yanks play, (and no doubt lose to), Cleveland. Cleveland recently won 14 games in a row and is on fire to such an extent that you’d think they were a local river.

The Nationals play the Mets, in what should be a good game, the Cubs play the Braves in a game that should probably be stopped after 6 and San Diego plays the Dodgers in a game that some poor network is contractually obligated to broadcast.

In other news if you bought the pay-per-view for UFC 200 hoping for some resolution to the Jon Jones-Daniel Cormier rivalry boy are you screwed. It turns out that Jones’s rivalry with Cormier is secondary to Jones’s fondness for putting banned substances into his body, and he’s been dropped from the card. Cormier has no one to fight and therefore no reason not to stuff his face with as much cake and ice cream as he can get his mitts on. It totally wasn’t Jones’s fault however, as he can’t even pronounce whatever it was that they found in his system.

Dwayne Wade is going to the Bulls as a free agent, which would be big news in 2010.

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nomonkeyfun
Member

I haven’t seen the Germans take so many shots since the Katyn forest.

/Donald Trump’s twitter

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

CARTE JAUNE

Beerguyrob
Member

ZUT ALORS!

scotchnaut
Member

I haven’t seen a German institution this exposed since the publication of The Hitler Diaries.

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

I haven’t seen a German pinned down like that since the Seelow Heights.

scotchnaut
Member

ZIDANE’S LACK OF COMPOSURE!* France needs to convert their chances.

*I assume this is a French soccer fan’s exclamation of exasperation

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

MANQUE DE ZIDANE DE SANG-FROID

scotchnaut
Member

GERD MULLER’S THIGHS!* Germany needs to convert these chances.

*I assume that this is a German soccer fan’s exclamation of exasperation

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

GERD MULLER OBERSCHENKELN!

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

A chilling reminder…

comment image

scotchnaut
Member

Where’s the Italian guy with the mohawk?

Fronkenshteen
Member

comment image

He had some problems.

scotchnaut
Member

Nice pull!

Fronkenshteen
Member

Welp, here comes the first goal. I’m headed to the bathroom!

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

I haven’t seen a German get robbed like that since Versailles.

Beerguyrob
Member

The Germans methodical nature is making Hans Landa jealous.

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

Germany content to play four corners here apparently…

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spanky Datass
Member
Spanky Datass

suh duu

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

yo

got chinese ribs in the smoker

Beerguyrob
Member

Sounds delicious.

Also, it sounds like a midnight delivery to a Mexican transplant clinic.

Sill Bimmons
Member
Sill Bimmons

thats the shrimps on the barbie smgdmfh

Beerguyrob
Member

Yo!

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

The early part of this match is like a reverse Blitzkreig. France is all over the Germans

Fronkenshteen
Member

I haven’t seen that many Germans with their hands in the air since Stalingrad.

wpDiscuz