Your “They Won’t Possibly Just Go Around The Maginot Line” Thursday Open Thread

Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Latest posts by Horatio Cornblower (see all)

Today’s highlights begin and end with France-Germany in the UEFA semifinals. France and Germany have played each other many times, including Germany’s elimination of France from the last World Cup. They also fought each other three times in 75 years, in the Franco-Prussian War, WWI and WWII, resulting in millions of casualties and, ultimately, the formation of The European Union, which has been a stunning success and ensures that nothing again will ever go wrong in Europe.

The winner of this game gets Ronaldo and the Portuguese in the finals. Which will be decided by penalty kicks, because of course they will.

In baseball tonight, (ducks), the Yanks play, (and no doubt lose to), Cleveland. Cleveland recently won 14 games in a row and is on fire to such an extent that you’d think they were a local river.

The Nationals play the Mets, in what should be a good game, the Cubs play the Braves in a game that should probably be stopped after 6 and San Diego plays the Dodgers in a game that some poor network is contractually obligated to broadcast.

In other news if you bought the pay-per-view for UFC 200 hoping for some resolution to the Jon Jones-Daniel Cormier rivalry boy are you screwed. It turns out that Jones’s rivalry with Cormier is secondary to Jones’s fondness for putting banned substances into his body, and he’s been dropped from the card. Cormier has no one to fight and therefore no reason not to stuff his face with as much cake and ice cream as he can get his mitts on. It totally wasn’t Jones’s fault however, as he can’t even pronounce whatever it was that they found in his system.

Dwayne Wade is going to the Bulls as a free agent, which would be big news in 2010.

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WCSHoratio CornblowerUnsurprisedMoose -The End Is Well NighInanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli Recent comment authors
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WCS

For you Vikings fans, Big Daddy Drew just gave your 2016 season the kiss ‘o death:

http://www.vikings.com/media-vault/videos/NFLN-Predicting-The-Vikings-Record-In-2016/38466aad-507a-4350-bdf8-a44f2af56521

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Its good to see Traci Lords getting work…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Dominique Swain is still alive!?!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude
Redshirt

Obama is making sense. Is this because I quit drinking the GOP Kool Aid?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes. Now to avoid the rest of the bullshit start drinking alcohol.

Heavily.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We only give direction here if we feel there is team buy-in.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Eh. He’s generally a reasonable dude.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For a Commie Nazi Muslim Socialist Liberal Bigot.

scotchnaut

50 minutes in I’m thinking that “Eye In The Sky” is a silly exercise in justifying supposedly “righteous” drone strikes.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

comment image

This should be a punishable offense…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If that dog doesn’t kill and eat its owner, it’s too late

Shogun Marcus

For the non-scrollers interested in robotic mayhem:

http://challonge.com/dfobattlebotspredictioncontest

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Redshirt

(yesterday morning finding out about LA shooting)
“Okay, I may be grasping at straws here but I was raised to trust cops, and maybe if the cops knew he had a gun, they wouldn’t have shot him.”

(today)
“I have a Concealed Carry Permit and a gun. I’m reaching for my wallet.”
(bang, bang, bang, bang)

http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/jim-carrey-liar-liar-oh-come-on-angry-its-enough.gif

I can defend a cop unholstering the gun and getting it ready in case the driver pulls out his gun; the cop doesn’t know what the guy’s gonna do, and the cop has a right to live too. If he see the gun being pulled out, he can point his gun faster than he can and if the guy starts to point the gun at the cop, he can defend himself.

But to shoot a man for reaching for his wallet?!

scotchnaut

This is your gun-soaked country. Good luck sussing out the logic involved in shooting/not shooting various individuals in various scenarios.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The logic is very, very simple.

White people get the benefit of the doubt. Black people get killed.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

Cops kill shit-tons of people, the majority of which are blacks. Cops seeing ordinary people as “threats” is the bigger problem.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, but black people only make up 14% of the population.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Different worlds man. I had it beat into me at a very early age that the scariest, most viscous gang in the streets were the cops. They were the best armed, they never ratted each other out, and they lived in the suburbs so they didn’t give a fuck what they did to the neighborhood.

Redshirt

I guess so. I drew the lucky straw in life I guess.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have relatives who are/were cops. They are the worst fucking people I’ve ever met. They were bullies. Their kids are bullies.

My mother worked as a civilian for the police department for a decade. The uniformed police are not to be trusted under any circumstances. If they actually rooted out every domestic abuser, half the cops in America would be fired. Respect must be earned, and I have never in my life had any reason to respect a police officer or police as a group.

Redshirt

So in conclusion, you can’t trust the cops. Great, that’s just great.

scotchnaut

EYE IN THE SKY WITH HELEN MIRRON!

/LET’S DO THIS!

scotchnaut

https://youtu.be/NNiie_zmSr8

Alan Parsons Project.

scotchnaut

Alan Rickman’s last movie, byw…

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Interesting WWII note…the last group of soldiers to defend the Hilter Bunker was not Germans but French from the Waffen SS division Charlemagne.

blaxabbath

The french are seriously dicks.

Senor Weaselo

Shit, before I leave, last chance to log into the BattleBots bracket before I close it.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh shit, what’s the link? I didn’t see it elsewhere.

comment image

Wakezilla

I was wondering the same thing

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I hope he gets raped in prison

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I assume because of the C-LO hat.

Shogun Marcus
Beerguyrob

NO FRANCE, THE VIKING CLAP BELONGS TO ICELAND!

SonOfSpam

It’s also a post-fuck gift from Peter Skarsgard.

SonOfSpam

Today is Angela Merkel’s worst day since this:

http://i.imgur.com/PfKD9co.gif

SonOfSpam

Dammit imgur. It was the unwanted shoulder rub from Dubya gif.

Wakezilla

Did France just appropriate Iceland’s chant? Not a good look, les Frogs

scotchnaut

Can’t wait to see the footage of a bunch of bearded hipster French dudes trying unsuccessfully to overturn a cheese cart in the streets of Paris.

Beerguyrob

I thought French hipsters just drove these:

comment image

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Or these:

comment image

SonOfSpam

The French fans haven’t been this happy since the Jerry Lewis clown-in-a-concentration-camp film was unearthed.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9zy-VQLL9I for anyone who hasn’t seen this filmbortion)

blaxabbath

31 minutes? I ain’t got time for that! Just sum it up in a gif.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Deutschland Uber Noboby

packman_jon

Deutschland Über Surcharges