Yes, it’s the beginning of the vaunted third week of the preseason, when the players that we love/hate play for a wee bit. That is, unless they’re the teensiest bit injured. I like to think of it as a teaser for what is to come. Of course, if my team doesn’t do well I can always fall back on the old, “It was just ONE half of ONE preseason game! I’m not about to get my knickers in knot”. On the other hand, if my team does well I can blurt out, “OH, WOW! This year we’re headed out of the basement/looking at .500/gonna make the playoffs/gonna win a playoff game/looking like a Super Bowl contender, etc., etc. Adjust your individual team expectations accordingly. TO THE GAMES! (both of them)
Falcons/Fins-As a fan of a team with a remarkably average backfield I envy Atlanta’s Freeman/Coleman duo. The former has a nose for the end zone and the latter just needs a bit of space to make a big play. I took me a little look at wr Julio’s game-by-game yardage numbers and this is what I saw-141, 164, 162, 137, 160, 178 and 149. Man, you know what this means? That’s right, recent signee Mohamed Sanu should have a field day on the other side of the field. In this offence he’ll be getting about 110 targets or so.
I fully expected qb Tannehill to get it done last year but it didn’t happen. After doing a wee bit of homework I discovered that he wasn’t give any freedom at all. If he didn’t like what he saw at the line of scrimmage last year’s OC (I don’t know his name-I didn’t do “that” much homework) demanded that he call the one backup play that heretofore not-mentioned OC had given him. He seems to me to be a bright guy-hopefully this year’s playcaller, HC Adam Gase will give him a bit of responsibility. With a wr triumvirate of Parker, Landry and Stills he should be able to do some damage.
‘Boys/’Hawks-Head-scratching first round pick Eezy-keel will get low double-digit carries tonight before he is shut down. The rook that everyone loves, DAK! Prescott (I can’t not include an exclamation point after his name when I type it) will be spelling Romo sometime during the second quarter or after the latter scrambles and hurts…something. I’m calling “ulna”. Dez and his concussion will be on the sidelines trying to figure how to make his absence from the game all about him.
Rb Rawls and te Graham are out. But that’s okay for a bordering-on-the-ridiculous offensively deep Seattle squad. All they have left at the skill positions are Wilson, Lockett, Baldwin, Kearse, Willson, Micheal and Prosise. There’s little doubt in my mind that Head Truther Carroll will be strutting down the sideline multiple times again this year.
I am a stupid person, and the proof is that I once thought that Chad Henne had a bright future in the NFL.
Were you unaware of his career in Michigan?
WHAT DID I JUST SAY???
First two seconds into the preseason I get the “Oh, so it’s time for football 24/7?” Knowing the answer, I smile and keep my moith shut.
Sheesh, Marcus Allen you are not, Dolphins running back.
Lagunitas’ Wilco Tango Foxtrot. A Malty, Robust, Jobless Recovery Ale.
anyhoo it were LARGE and on sale at me Food Lion so LET’S FIND OUT!
http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/planet1051.com/files/2012/05/3164_73744419706_73743044706_1587581_7359096_n.jpg
Worse beer I ever drank. I got a case of this and I swear to god it took me weeks to finish. Like somehow, the fucking beers just never ran out.
I can’t believe that’s a real thing.
Oh, it exists. I, too, have entered this abyss. One is never the same afterwards. It truly is a demarcation point in one’s life.
Why on earth do the Dolphins play on artificial turf?
Is it me or does it seem like the teams that should play on turf due to the winter weather conditions limiting the ability to grow grass…have grass and the teams that should have grass…have turf?
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BAT BOY
http://pmcmovieline.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/bat_boy_cover_wwn.jpg
Oh wait, it was just Tony Dungy.
Just looked at your scoring system Sill and I have 0 clue what is going to happen in that draft.
Related…I have no fucking clue how to play fantasy football.
I assume you just draft kickers and defenses right?
That league is going to be a beautiful disaster.
Hail Satan!
SHANK!
You can’t spell Hillary without “ill”. Think about it.
BIG BENGAZI!
http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-22-2014/mAGMVW.gif
I still can’t believe he’s a real human being.
http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/53/52/90371e126541d71af8e0b3055d4392fd.gif
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aiANK3igBXA/UbzfF1xe_3I/AAAAAAAADDM/J3y_vMfyf2g/s1600/hot-girl-fail.gif
The new Mortal Kombat self-fatality?
GIF THAT ELI MANNING BANANA IMMEDIATELY!
IN A DIFFERENT CONTEXT……
So Matt Ryan is basically Joe Flacco’s personality with Tony Romo’s post season success…is that an accurate assessment?
“It was the fumbles that hurt him. Not the way he played.”
Logic, how the fuck does it work?
http://cdn3.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/waiting-impatient-vintage-movie-gif.gif
Usually when you see a receiver that wide open and there’s a flag, it’s offensive interference.
New Game: What words of advice did Al give Tirico?
Five dollars? Get outta here.
Yes, Collingsworth does rape poodles.
shut it down!
http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/20111128/1000/first_time_gif_reactions_to_seeing_guys_package_57.gif
My “drank a lot of scotch and then had 4 pieces of pizza” game is very strong. Needless to say, I’m done for tonight.
/Love ya, see ya on the morrow.
Fuck the NFL for these commercials showing players celebrating on the field to sell their fucking pre-season video package crap.
YOU FUCKERS FINE PLAYERS FOR CELEBRATING AND THEN YOU PUT THE SHIT IN ADS!
What is next, NFL films presents the best head injuries caught on tape?
They’re prepping that to make a HoF exhibit on what the NFL was like before they were so heroic and changed the game to save players.*
*work in progress.
I believe they did that already:
?w=300&h=239&crop=1
They will be fined for these commercials.
I wonder how drunk Al Michaels is right now, I mean more than usual.
scale of 0 to “Rain Delay Harry Caray?”
I think he’s a solid “Joe Namith MNF” on that scale right about now.
we would have also accepted Q1 Pat Summerall (pre-Jeebus edition)
This is as drunk as it EVER got in the booth:
http://www.thenug.com/sites/default/pub/010215/thenug-1j0aigKHdZ.gif
…mom?
Dude…hook me up with your mom!
WCS; that was fucking funny, but COMEDY is exaggeration; YOUR MOM DOES NOT SPILL BOOZE.
MATTY SHITSTORM
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/microwave-failure.gif
COMMENCING THE DRINKING: What should I drink:
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/28609/142987/
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/43537/206341/
Or classic bulleit bourbon neat?
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/11/thanksgiving_funny.gif
What I’m saying is pour a bourbal and a beer for drinking pleasure.
Arian Foster will have one amazeballs fantasy game before all his tofurkey ligaments ‘splode. And it will be against YOU!
Stahp.
/May have kept him this year
//Definitely did
And the one monster game will occur on your bench after reading a week of reports saying he’s questionable/limited practice.
In a week you had all your good options on bye already, and you rolled with one of the 4-headed Hydra on the Giants, and a shitty Redacteds backup hunch play.
And the one you contemplated picking up off the waiver wire but decided against because he’s got a “tough match-up” has a monster game as well.
/will not confirm nor deny this happened to me one week.
http://funny-pictures-quotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/GIF-When-im-on-a-really-bad-first-date.gif
http://www.itsalways.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/She-took-a-ride-on-the-carrosell.gif
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/034/851/batman-law-and-order.gif
RIP DA Adam Schiff
Sometimes I feel like that guy from Network
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/sciencefair/post/2012/08/study-nfl-preseason-games-havent-mattered-since-1994/1#.V7-Pvq15SUk
Wake up people!
Slightly above average pizza has arrived!
/I was starving. I didn’t have a choice
http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/20111128/1000/first_time_gif_reactions_to_seeing_guys_package_25.gif
My gif game looks like the Dolphins.
http://www.best-gif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-gifs-dont-even-know-what-he-wanted-to-do-in-the-first-place.gif
So, Dolphins are kind of shit, eh?
8-8 (+/- 1) FOREVS!!!
/you deserve it, Daniel Tosh
//sorry, warthog
Hey now settle down; it’s just the preseason.
In a few weeks they will be shit in the regular season.
http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-hawaii-dolphin-swim-ban-20160825-snap-story.html
http://hilounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/gt91p.gif
This may be blasphemy to the canon, but methinks this was the singular best delusion/hallucination of the series.
That episode itself is easily top 3
DEE GO FOR RIDE ON CAROUSEL
I know that this is going to ruffle a lot of belly-fat feathers but Collingsworth isn’t sucking tonight.
Dear God, he is awful. He never has an ill word to say about anything. He thinks Darren Sharper is just a bad pharmacist.
+1
JESUS DUDE; CUT BACK ON YOUR DRINKING!!!
AT THIS RATE IT WILL KILL YOU!!
Is it asking too much for TannyFanny to shit on Crissy’s head?
/also, kick everyone squa’ in the nuts. Laremy
Hattiesburg Hat >>>>> Cleveland Steamer.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3tz76gkRT1rnasgh.gif
hello internet friends how are we doing this evening?
I am in Collinsworth rage already. Sticking up for Suh, go get fucked Chris he is overpaid.
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Emma-Watson-Awkward-Face-MRW-Gif.gif
Looks like Lily took the offseason pretty seriously:
Some things never change.*
*just saw Peyton whoring for…it doesn’t really matter, does it?
http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/funny-gif-australia-first-iphone.gif
“Pey-Pey whores foar eve-ry-thing!”
You pour enough scotch into me on a weekday and I’ll be far too excited about this exhibition week-end.
http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/20111128/1000/first_time_gif_reactions_to_seeing_guys_package_39.gif
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/052011/1305636688_love_at_first_sight.gif
Is Tannehill going to yell at the safety for picking him off?
TANNEYCEPT!
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Early gifage.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/022014/1391620204_the_first_ever_animation.gif
Or as Gruden would say: “Tann-EEE-hill”
Good Evening.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/fgwv.gif
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HULLO!
http://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20140228/first_time_you_got_drunk_11.gif
What is this 2 game bullshit? This is the preseason. Give me choices.
http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/funny-gif-walking-on-ice-for-the-first-time.gif
“A” or “B”-enjoy the illusion of choice.
I’ve got shitty pizza on the way. Whoop!
I hope it is at least average!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mddl4kDhm51qcq45eo1_500.gif
It’s from Topper’s Pizza. It’s a regional Canadian chain that you’ve never heard of because it’s a regional Canadian pizza chain.
We have Toppers. Was born in Wisconsin. Is definitely NAWT the same as yours. The Mac N Cheese pie is wonderful.
I gained 5 pounds reading your comment.
/thanks so much
Add bacon. I also add the chopped pickles because screw you it’s mah pie!
http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/NPMBq.gif
38 y.o., 135-140, I eat like a 12 year old whose parents are long gone and my cholesterol is only a tad over the border. Thanks grandpa foar the magic metabolism!
Careful man; that will catch up with ya.
From someone who it has caught up with.
I am at soccer practice and there are no hot, sexy, bisexual Cougars in heat looking to make a Fozz sandwich.
SMDH
Too much roast beef for my liking.
Really? I like the ones that you can put over your face like a warm washcloth in the bathtub.
SO RELAXING!
http://i2.asntown.net/h4/13/funny-gif/1/124/funny-animated-gif-collection-january-14.gif
Well it is dry aged, so more pliant
I prefer it desiccated.
Really? Dammit.
/crosses “creep local soccer practices” off to-do list
YOU LIED TO ME AGAIN INTERNET
Hey Canadiaites…
Now that Sidney Crosby has been named captain of the 2016 World Cup team and is undeniably the most successful international hockey player in non-Soviet history, what’s the general TAEK on him up there?
http://talkhockey.ca/wp-content/uploads/Crosby-Goal8338.gif
Eh there eh….
Ah, Team Canada. Where Flyers stars go to actually win tournaments. That and LA.
The Carter and Richards trades remain as baffling as the day they happened.
They were clearly the problem, especially Jeff Carter’s inability to perform in clutch moments, unlike that guy who scored a hattrick in the clinching game for his team’s first Stanley Cup. What was his name? Oh, right. Jeff Carter.
I hate that gif so god damn much.
hey guys
New battlebots is also on tonight. Just saying.
I think you need another animal helmet.
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/10/Safety-First-GIF.gif?gs=a
Fail gif fail gif.
http://badsentinel.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Funny-safety-first-26.gif
What misfortune has now befallen our great nation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/26/dining/is-this-the-top-secret-kfc-recipe.html?_r=0