Your “The Starters Are Playing For The First Half? [faints]” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Yes, it’s the beginning of the vaunted third week of the preseason, when the players that we love/hate play for a wee bit. That is, unless they’re the teensiest bit injured. I like to think of it as a teaser for what is to come. Of course, if my team doesn’t do well I can always fall back on the old, “It was just ONE half of ONE preseason game! I’m not about to get my knickers in knot”. On the other hand, if my team does well I can blurt out, “OH, WOW! This year we’re headed out of the basement/looking at .500/gonna make the playoffs/gonna win a playoff game/looking like a Super Bowl contender, etc., etc. Adjust your individual team expectations accordingly. TO THE GAMES! (both of them)

Falcons/Fins-As a fan of a team with a remarkably average backfield I envy Atlanta’s Freeman/Coleman duo. The former has a nose for the end zone and the latter just needs a bit of space to make a big play. I took me a little look at wr Julio’s game-by-game yardage numbers and this is what I saw-141, 164, 162, 137, 160, 178 and 149. Man, you know what this means? That’s right, recent signee Mohamed Sanu should have a field day on the other side of the field. In this offence he’ll be getting about 110 targets or so.

I fully expected qb Tannehill to get it done last year but it didn’t happen. After doing a wee bit of homework I discovered that he wasn’t give any freedom at all. If he didn’t like what he saw at the line of scrimmage last year’s OC (I don’t know his name-I didn’t do “that” much homework) demanded that he call the one backup play that heretofore not-mentioned OC had given him. He seems to me to be a bright guy-hopefully this year’s playcaller, HC Adam Gase will give him a bit of responsibility. With a wr triumvirate of Parker, Landry and Stills he should be able to do some damage.

‘Boys/’Hawks-Head-scratching first round pick Eezy-keel will get low double-digit carries tonight before he is shut down. The rook that everyone loves, DAK! Prescott (I can’t not include an exclamation point after his name when I type it) will be spelling Romo sometime during the second quarter or after the latter scrambles and hurts…something. I’m calling “ulna”. Dez and his concussion will be on the sidelines trying to figure how to make his absence from the game all about him.

Rb Rawls and te Graham are out. But that’s okay for a bordering-on-the-ridiculous offensively deep Seattle squad. All they have left at the skill positions are Wilson, Lockett, Baldwin, Kearse, Willson, Micheal and Prosise. There’s little doubt in my mind that Head Truther Carroll will be strutting down the sideline multiple times again this year.

 

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
laserguru

I’m an old white guy who can play bass.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I had to follow up my earlier post of the worst Snake Plissken with the second worst

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt1jlkHCf51qj6sk2o5_r1_500.gif

Brocky

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7oMBq1vkCM&w=560&h=315%5D

can’t stop listening……

Brocky

[embed width="123" height="456"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7oMBq1vkCM[/embed]

Brocky

I feel like i’m just waiting for someone to say

“Brocky vs wordpress is more entertaining than anything in the preseason

Mr. Ayo

I certainly am entertained!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7oMBq1vkCM

ALXMAC

Easiest way – search what youtube video that you want to play; copy the web address at the top of your browser; paste it here with or w/o commentary; pray that you didn’t post your embarrassing playlist.

Old School Zero

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ThePirateSloth

That’s gross and Jenna says you’re terriblly awesome for posting it.

Old School Zero

I’m only sad it’s missing the part where he sprays Easy Cheese on top of it.

ThePirateSloth

Oh fuck you for that. Fuck. You. .

Old School Zero

Whoop, found it.

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ThePirateSloth

Next time your at the house, she’s making it for you

Old School Zero

I’ll bring UHF and we can have them while we watch it. It’s only fitting.

laserguru

But what if the wiener fell out of the package?

ThePirateSloth

Jon Tyan: WORST TACKLER IN THE LEAGUE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

4 twenty-somethings just walked into the bar right before Boykin scored his TD. Their reaction: “why isn’t Boykin starting the season? Wilson is done. Boykin could start on any of the NFL teams right now”

I hate young people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“4 twenty-somethings just walked into the bar……”

GODDAMNIT! I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO BE A JOKE!

Old School Zero

Damned yougins with their crazy music.

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2011/08/24/barkley_nirvana.gif

Unsurprised

If I knew you were at a bar while I was out, I’d have hunted you down like a dog.

… To pet. To pet. And to hang with. Yeah.

Yeah.

ThePirateSloth

Either the last preseason game or week two, we should make it happen.

Unsurprised

Done

ALXMAC

(We farted)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a pretty good FF name; is it German?

Old School Zero

Yeesh. Russell Wilson just did the Hokey Pokey and then threw a TD pass.

WCS

PK’s going to write 4800 obtusely-phrased words about how this demonstrates how charismatic and what a charming character he is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

That’s what it’s all about

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait! Isn’t he still a virgin?!?!?!

Old School Zero

Nope. He put a ring on it. And then a cock ring on it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You don’t know that, they could be waiting for the “right time.”

If you do that for sure…….

ThePirateSloth

I’m convinced now that she’s a Beard.

Old School Zero

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s OK; OSZ already broke the hymen on that joke.

Old School Zero

Starters still in during the 3rd quarter? That’s… unexpected.

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/08/17/homeless_walmart_couple.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ain’t love GRAND!!?

WCS


This ad for the Detroit News was filmed in and around Villanova, PA.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

I tried a prickly pear cactus bear. Yum.

Old School Zero

The Shiner one?

Unsurprised

No. It was at Ex Novo Brewery.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

So I finally got around to watching (and finishing) The Wire. I am mad at myself for skipping it all them years ago.

“Hey yo, lock dat do”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

This is NAWT ANYBODY NBC. NAWT. ANYONE.

Shogun Marcus

If you insist.
Wait. You’re giving me consent right? An affirmative? Can you sign this affidavit confirming this before we go back to my safe space? Can’t be too careful!
No no, say nothing further. All this consensual talking is a trigger warning.

Fronkenshteen

I usually have one fantasy pick that makes the rest of my league shake their heads or just yell out,
“WHO?!?!” (Kenbrell Thompkins, David Wilson etc.). I may grab Doug Baldwin in the second round this year. That’s how sure I feel.

Brocky

I’m gonna guess mine is gonna be jordan howard in the fifth, over langford.

unfortunately, i’m not bill belichik, so i will rightly be jeered for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t forget; you can be an asshole to the press too.

indieguy

these taint ticklers are still talking about peypey

Brocky

that’s the least surprising thing I’ve heard all night, and that’s including romo’s injury

Gratliff

Dak Prescott has a pretty arm. Get your shit together, Romo.

King Hippo

As someone who watched ALL of the bowl matchup between NC State and Mississippi State…I have no fucking idea how anyone watched that tape and selected OUR fucking QB ahead of Dak.

Anyway, no backsies, Cheatriots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sexy arm.

Fronkenshteen

Romo’s done. He’s Fran Tarkenton/Archie Manning worthless now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAWT TAKE #2!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just the list of surgeries.

Croooow

I have a feeling this Superstore show is attempting to make some sort of social commentary on big box stores, but because this is on a broadcast network, it falls way short of the mark.

King Hippo

is this punishment detail of some sort for Matty Ice?

Beerguyrob

Whatever it is, it’s making my preview all the more difficult to create.

ThePirateSloth

Jon Ryan: BEST HOLDER IN THE LEAGUE

King Hippo

How much would ya have to pay to get PeyPey to shill for one’s brand of asshole bleach, ya reckon?

litre_cola

He would like a few franchises and then bleach that Atlanta Stadium.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Another stupid Bevell call! Drink!

ThePirateSloth

I’ve reached the acceptance stage with Bevell. I won’t hate on him anymore.

Gratliff

When do we get broken Jason Witten? I feel like we’re overdue.

JustStopDude

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Gratliff

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JustStopDude

These cartoons are like brilliant MAD Magazine satires….except the artist is fucking serious.

I love them. Its surreal.

Gratliff

They’re also all over the place with the craziness.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Bullshit call! Drink!

litre_cola

Seattle announcer just called Jerry Jones beautiful.

ThePirateSloth

YER GAWDDAMN RIGHT HE IS

Croooow

I can’t get over how much of Atlanta’s new stadium looks like Optimus Prime’s asshole.

JustStopDude

Lionel Richie vs Peyton Manning…who has the bigger fucking head?

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I think they must have gotten huge headed extras so it wasn’t so obvious…

King Hippo

nights like tonight – even fucking ATL/MIA dress rehearsal, I am reminded how much I rely on footbaw season to get me through the parts of my life that are NAWT footbaw season

/also, fuck you, Roger Goodell

Fronkenshteen

ATL/MIA solves nothing. Ever.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I couldn’t attend the Boys/Hawks game tonight, because I fucked up my foot in a jeebus awful way, so I get to sit on my ass drinking at my bar. On meds! WHOOOOOOOOO

King Hippo

As I may kinda sorta know from experience, TEH BEST WAY TO DRANK, CHUH CHUH

JustStopDude

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Gratliff

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Fronkenshteen

If this is truly what they want, why isn’t marijuana not only legal, but mandatory in the United States of America?

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Why am i getting texts Romo is dead? The game fucking started?!?!

King Hippo

the protective layer of blubber no worky??

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Romo plays, Romo breaks. Dallas should stop bringing their toys to Seattle.

Sharkbait

Well, Fins-Falcons is now boring as shit. Now to binge Californication.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TIIIIIIITS!!

King Hippo

Showtime motto 25 years running!

Gratliff

Why the fuck is the NFL network online stream delaying the game an hour? I’m sure as hell not going to the living room for preseason football.

litre_cola

My preseason hate for The Cowboys is strong, swore at the tv twice before the 1st snap.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come on, Schaub. One more pick six. For old times’ sakes.

King Hippo

It’s his NATURE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As our resident Hollywood insider I can tell you very confidently that NOBODY wears that much makeup to go into the recording booth.

Gratliff

Oh my god, that altrightmeans hashtag. I shouldn’t have gone to twitter.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3BknuKYDNdQ/VYXhPnR1xDI/AAAAAAAAA3E/MQFqN3egtfc/s640/cnkuONS.gif

...

Basically.

Sharkbait

Oh god. Here: http://eyebleach.com/

WCS

I steadfastly refuse to use Twitter until after the election. #StopWhiteGenocide is proof that Skynet may not be a bad thing.