[feels a bit icky making a baseball-related reference]
Damn, I like this 7:10 (eastern) starting time. Sometimes my extraordinarily strict post-work beer, scotch, cider, wine and martini regimen catches up to me and the world starts spinning and the games (yes, the games) lose their focus and I have to find out the score the following morning. This way I’m guaranteed to be coherent all the way into the third quarter of the first tilt. Enough about me-TO THE GAMES!
Steelers/Redacted’s-I feel as though Pittsburgh without the services of rb Bell and wr’s Bryant and Wheaton is a team playing with one arm tied behind their back but it won’t make much difference in the end. I think it has a lot to do with not being able to judge the prospects of Washington objectively because Dan Snyder has come to be the embodiment of a number of shitbags I deal with in my work setting. [takes a deep breath] Everyone is yakking about the Norman/Brown showdown but doesn’t the former play just one half of the field? I’m sure Brown will get moved around a bit and they will cross paths but I think it’s cb Breeland (with help from Hall?) that does the heavy lifting. It’ll be a tiny bit interesting to see who among Coates, Heyward-Bey and Rogers gets the majority of catches. Cousins’ pursuit of a long-term deal would benefit from a home win here.
Rams/Niners-As hc Kelly prepares for the game Jim Tomsula (“we hardly knew ya”) prepares for the coming hobopocalypse. A wasteland of discarded bindles and can-openers awaits mankind-he’ll be the first to tell you! STAY AWAY FROM THE SWITCHYARDS, PEOPLE! The game? Gurley runs roughshod on the Niners and qb’s Keenum(what?) and Gabbert(who?) try their damnedest to keep their combined giveaways below 7. Fantasy-wise, if Hyde goes for 35+ I may just squeak out a not-earned victory.
There she be. Now…LET’S WATCH THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!
HARFDOWN
Rapey McGreyPenis with a completion over the middle foar 9.
Nicely done Rapey McGreyPenis.
STARTING TO MAKE A MOVE IS NOT MAKING A MOVE PPL FORGET THAT!!!!
/hail BLEERGH
http://img10.hostingpics.net/pics/915012k_dunst.gif
“I’m Love Smith and I approve this challenge..”
He should have called a timeout first.
–Andy Reid
Who, Will?
Alright, time to figure out if it’s a catch or not:
http://www.lonestar.edu/images/math-formula-chalkboard.jpg
Is this a catch?
You kinda fucked that up.
Just saying.
404: Catch would not be found.
Wow, fuck these refs. I am rooting for the Redacteds now
he’s just challenging to try to earn popularity with teh cool kids.
Oh, great. Time for another debate on what a catch is.
BAD CHALLENGE WOO
And we still have no fucking clue what a catch actually is.
I maintain that a WR should be required to file his taxes to be counted as having control of the ball.
IS THAT A CATCH???
NO ONE KNOWS
they really should, for shits and giggles, bring in a philosophy major to debate this
NO FOOTBAW MOVE BRAHEEMS
Wow. There’s an assload of yellow pants on my TV.
da Fuq?????
We’ve secretly covered the ball in Vaseline and KY…let’s see if anyone notices.
Now when you say “the ball”…..?
Vaseline and Kentucky? What the…?
Oh boy. All of the derpatude.
This is some derpy football by the Stillers.
Heath Miller : A candy bar beer endorsement waiting to happen
If Jesse James murdered his parents, I wouldn’t convict him.
HHHHHEEEEAAATTTHHHHH
..oh wait
HATE TEH NAME LOVE TEH GAME WOO
WHITETIGHTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!
Annnnnnnnnd the ginger gets it.
http://tvblogs.nationalgeographic.com/files/2014/06/seesawface.gif
The ginger always gets it.
http://sanitaryum.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Kick-a-Ginger-Day-Victim.png
For a former coach Gruden seemed pretty impressed by a basic counter run.
So why wasn’t Kerrigan ruled down by contact? He picked up the ball, got tackled and then had the ball taken out when he was on the ground
CUZ ITS ASSHOLES AND ELBOWS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCRUM
well, this appears to be quite the chucklefuck-off between Cousins and Captain HARF.
http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/thefw.com/files/2012/10/spoonproblems.gif
I’m adding chucklefuck-off to my daily vocabulary.
“The Ben try to talk to cheerwimmins but ankle-thingy go shocky-shocky.”
http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2013/01/workaholics-funny-gifs1/09-workaholics-funny-gifs1.gif
Someone want to tell THE BEN that the preseason is over?
http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/comment/gif-dog-pug-tv-545250.gif
The steelworker leader has been attacked — but a weapons shipment captured by Comrade Seth McFarlane was lost. The capitalist-roader perfidy will not prevail!
On behalf of all Bengals fans, WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS PITTSBURGH TEAM LAST JANUARY?!”
They take a couple games to adjust to all the suspensions and get their shit together nowadays.
The Ben hit in grey-spot, Boss Todd won’t let the Ben ride in his Camaro now… the Ben sad.
Sad HARF.
HARFSACKFUMBREWTFUCKERY!
hell’s bells
HARF HARF
I’m supposed to have tennis in an hour, but I’ve gotten maybe 4 hours of sleep in the past couple days cause jetlag. I should maybe keep watching the game instead.
http://www.ladyandtheblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/keep-calm-and-watch-the-game-49.png
Allergy attack woke me up with adrenaline-fueled heartbeat, so I’m going on about two.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only tennis you’ll ever need.
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/3c/39/01/3c39018b2720fe2f227420c1c7721a56.jpg
Captain Kirk proves the limitations of political officer appointments by the Party. The will of the Chairman will triumph with inexorable force!
I hate that fucking Camry ad more than Chip Kelly.
I get the feeling Chip Kelly will get busted for some truly disgusting, shocking crime one day and we’ll be like, “Holy shit! I’m shocked that he could do that! … Well, not that shocked.”
And Chip REALLY hates that ad!
HAR
Graphic: “Screw you, flag. Its my time to shine!”
http://img1.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-hercules-tv-bruce-campbell-374273.gif
the gifts of BLEERGH, denied
“No Intentional Grounding. #86 was in the area, and we have been assured that he has a 240 inch vertical leap.”
I figured they were just assuming that Cousins was inaccurate enough tonight that he could have been legitimately aiming that far away…
And a 0.5 second 20-yard-dash.
Well, they did not define “area”. Could be same zip code? Or hectare?
Lucky Pierre #2 is still in the league??
I’mma put some Tussin on the 2nd half, so I’mma have some coffee now.
/fuck you, internal organs
http://media.giphy.com/media/CA3KerCZkfoek/giphy.gif
Purple Drank?
it’s more yellow, but still CHUH CHUH
Don’t forget to put water in it to make more Tussin!
OH YEAH. Daddy ain’t waste no precious crusty Tussin solids!!!
Bleergh’s interference in our affairs is futile imperialism! All glory to Chairman Dan!
y u no grounding?
Has Gruden gotten chubbier? I thought we were only allowed a single chubby Gruden.
He isn’t talking as frantically as normal either. Maybe he lays off the amphetamines during the off season?
He certainly has a chub.
What have I missed so far?
HAIL BLEERGH
Comrade Breeland has intercepted a weapons shipment to the rebellious steelworkers. Now Red Army Captain Kirk must crush their defensive forces.
Pictured: [REDACTEDS] front office
http://joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2005/11/wearing_enough_flair_preview.jpg
Well, I definitely can believe he would outlaw sarcasm.
“The Ben just want to watch cheerwimmins bounce, so he throw to other team.”