…But He Was Gone When Autumn Came!
As has been widely reported, Robert Griffin III has been placed on Injured Reserve following the Browns’ first game of the season, a 29-10 loss to the Eagles. Griffin has a fractured coracoid bone in his left shoulder; he could be finished for the year.
In a single incident that completely upended Chargers fans’ hopes for the season (and completely stunted their offense after they’d built a 27-6 lead over the Chiefs), Keenan “Handbanana” Allen was lost for the season with a torn ACL.
The secondary-poor New Orleans Saints lost their corner Delvin Breaux for at least six weeks with a broken fibula.
Less significant injuries were suffered by Russel Wilson (ankle), Brian Cushing (MCL sprain), Julio Jones (ankle), Mohamed Sanu (ankle), Cordy Glen (ankle), Sam Shields (concussion), Menelik Watson (groin), Jeremy Maclin (concussion), and Orlando Scandrick (hamstring).
Example #4,612,985 why Power Rankings are bullshit:
The Steelers got a 22-point win over a division winner on the road, scored 38 points without two of their three best offensive players, and fell two places.
http://cuddlebuggery.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/rashida-jones-the-office-shrug-gif.gif
It was against Washington, so…
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/seems-legit-meme-gynocologist.gif
I will admit that there is some context missing from that sentence, but if you say it out loud it sounds like a pointless conclusion drawn by complete idiots, signifying nothing.
I can’t be the only one who saw a post on week 1 quotables and mistakenly assumed WhyEaglesWhy was going to repurpose our words again.
Cane Skretteburg remains my favorite fictional rock star ever.
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/kingofthehill/images/0/0d/Caneposter.png
http://youtu.be/VcMjg8IIKWA
Don’t worry, Cleveland, you have an answer:
http://static.nfl.com/static/content/public/static/img/fantasy/transparent/200×200/MCC600777.png
One of the Trump junior assholes is on the Browns?
http://www.trumpwinery.com/images/uploads/eric33.jpg
I’ll give him credit, he’s getting better at imitating human form.
http://www.startrek.com/uploads/assets/db_articles/55d738aac90a80914bb546df8c5427e81c076f80.jpg
You forgot the biggest injuries this week: All the uber-patriots on my Facebook page whose sensibilities were grievously wounded by a few players kneeling during the anthem. There was literally one (hopefully distant) cousin who opined that our military men didn’t bleed so these football guys could disrespect them so.
I hope you told said cousin to go fuck his stupid self up the dickhole with a motherfucking Buick.
Yea, this has definitely crossed into feel bad territory.
Man oh man…what the fuck did RGIII do to deserve this?
The poor bastard gets drafted by a dumpster fire of an organization…and he gets blamed for all the meddling that the owner does.
He is forced into a meaningless playoff game, serious hurt, by a coach that if the NFL get a fucking shit about player safety, would have been blacklisted from football a decade ago…and he gets blamed for it.
The owner is so fucking cheap he can’t even maintain a goddamn playing surface that leads to RGIII nearly getting his leg ripped off…and he gets blamed for it.
He ends up with another dumpster fire of an organization, with zero talent around him. He gets hurt because his WR can’t maintain a block…and he gets blamed for it.
I’m not even kidding about this. The ongoing rumor per Cleveland sports talk radio is RGIII intentionally broke his shoulder because he doesn’t have the drive to lead a team.
Its no wonder his mother called him during his post game press conference.
Only the [*Redacted] s could have a “meaningless playoff game”.
woudlnt of been meaningless if RG-ME would of shone some ledership adn won teh damn gaem, smgdh
Had to change the spelling of my name to not be associated with that guy….
The Texans would like a word.
I refer to it as meaningless in the manner that even if RGIII’s leg had survived that game, what were they going to do…shove him back on the field for the next round of the playoffs?
There was zero chance of his leg surviving the playoffs. They invested a shit ton into drafting him and then basically let him get destroyed. They had NO CHANCE of making it to the Superbowl. They were not a strong team. It made zero sense to me to risk RGIII’s health and his career.
“There’s NO WAY the [*Redacted] s can win a Super Bowl with a replacement quarterback!”
– Li’l JustStopDude
http://dougwilliams17.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Doug-Williams-Super-Bowl-vs-Broncos.jpg
/yes, yes, I know the circumstances were vastly different, but nothing is gonna stop me in the middle of this joke.
They didn’t have a chance making it with their QB a one legged mess. That’s my point.
He had zero mobility. He couldn’t even walk. It was affecting his ability to throw the ball.
Leaving him in was basically pointless other than to get him even more hurt.
The greatest part of all this is all the success the Rams have enjoyed as a result of that fleecing of Dan Synder.
What?
My guess is… Not much. But hey, if anybody needs material, here’s this:
http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/05/rg3-wedding-registry-criticism-deal
And while we’re off-topic: why don’t more people just up and elope?
Put another way, I wish sons and daughters had the decency to not foist upon parents the crippling cost of a weddin’.
My ex-wife’s family had the money.
No guilt here.
The missus’ father is paying for it or else we would have eloped. No guilt here.
Because weddings, like all major American purchases, are something that is completely emotionally driven and the consumers don’t know/care about the costs. You buy a F-150 because you’re a queer if you don’t, cost be damned. You buy a house because you love it and you can get the mortgage. You pick a college because the campus is neat and the football games are a blast to attend. And you have a wedding because it’s not enough to force blax into signing a contract to assume obligations for your next five decades of spending sprees, you want him to pay for a dress you’ll wear for 5 hours while he feeds all your friends, not-friends-but-need-to-invites, co-workers, and all their families (20% of who won’t show but it’s prepaid) because it’s easier to have him cut another check than to speak up and say the invite for you and your husband does not include your loser teenage son who doesn’t want to be there anyways and is gonna show up in a pair of Wranglers all open-carry.
Congratulations on your wedding, man. Going all out is something no ine can take from you. Having otherwise over your head is soul-sucking. I have heard.
Best speech ever BTW, at 5:30: “Ladies and gentlemen… And friends of my daughter”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFxzw7p5u8U
I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve blown at work working through a queue-full of his Youtube sketch clips.
Fans are fucking idiots. News at 11
Of all the RGIII’s in the world, he’s the RGIII-iest.
Thank God for those four preseason games.
Looks like Paul DePodesta really messed up by not dividing RG3’s production numbers by 16.
I’m very disappointed in the web right now. This was the only clip I could find of the Office Space decimal point line.
http://www.tzr.io/yarn-clip/bb237e3e-1f27-443b-a4a2-3baad52e854f
That is my second-favorite “decimal” joke of all time.
Number one? Oh yeah.