Your Sunday Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Sea/LA-Pity the poor Rams. (but not their ownership or coach) They were blasted by the Niners on Monday night and now come back “home” to meet up with the Seahawks. Wr Austin was rated by Football Outsiders as the worst at his position last week. How does one go about accomplishing this? Well, what you need to do is catch a mere 4 of 12 targets for 13 yards. And he’s their #1 guy! Not much hope in Ramsville. BTW, qb Wilson’s high ankle sprain will play.

TB/Ari-Wr Evans, he of 99 yards/1 TD last week gets cb Peterson this week. On the other side wr Fitz gets cb Grimes. The former is not at the height of his powers any longer but his stat line of 8/81/2 begs to differ. Tampa lb Alexander has his eyes set squarely on rb Johnson. I really like both these youngsters-they’ll both be super productive for the next decade.

Jax/SD-Here is another Battle Royale of 0-1 teams. The Jags young D did quite well against a talented Pack team and despite the loss I bet they are coming to realize what they are capable of. Rb Gordon is the Bolts leading rusher with [is tapped on shoulder] Uh, hold on. Woodhead is leading the team? Really? C’mon! I’d just like to add that recently signed first-rounder Bosa is nowhere near game shape.

Atl/Oak-The Falcons leading rusher is Coleman with 22 yds. Yeah, as a matter of fact they did lose last week. I get the feeling that Atlanta’s small window of relevance is closing very fast. Qb Carr and co. found a way to beat the Saints in the Dome last week which should serve them well this week. Wr Jones will of course get his but on the other side Cooper should do the same.

Indy/Den-If you drafted qb Luck as your guy in fantasy, congrats on your 1-0 record! Today he’s up again a whole ‘nother kettle of horses in the Denver D. The Colts tissue-paper D ensures that qb Siemian will improve on last week’s pedestrian numbers. Look for the Colts to play catch-up all game long.

[tips hat] LET’S DO THIS, FOLKS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Maestro

Fuck it, turned my VPN off. I don’t care. I’m just tired of a potato quality stream. If CSIS comes to my door they won’t find a thing that proves I

litre_cola

Dont you live near CSIS?

The Maestro

Since CSIS is really just two guys in the back of a rusted-out Ford Aerostar on an old IBM 386 running OS/2 Warp, technically we ALL live near CSIS, friend.

/commenting blindfolded on phone from trunk of the Aerostar

litre_cola

If you are in Alberta and downtown Calgary, I can come rescue you out of the trunk, going to need to know the colour of the van, there are quite a few out there.

herodotus450

CSI: DFO

Sill Bimmons

Kearse did a thing!

I need him to do more things.

American Pie Story

Oh great, can’t even make a good D play without injuring yourself

Bortleback

How many more injuries can they take on D without having some players play both ways?

blaxabbath

Blake Bortles as backup bike backer.

American Pie Story

negative twelve

King Hippo

“sniper in my head” usually isn’t that accurate, guess my hydrocodone level is JUST right!

King Hippo

the “stare down the target EVERY FUCKING PLAY” finally burns Siemian

blaxabbath

I need to grab some lunch at the half.

But after that, first manhattan of the season (RIP Chelsea Bombing Victims if there are any).

Doktor Zymm

Elderflower, gin and soda

litre_cola

Cotes du Rhone by Belleruche

ThePirateSloth

comment image

Sharkbait

Pimms.

Sharkbait

Almost 1 and a half games…6 points. Good job LA.

blaxabbath

They want to run off their fans so they can threaten to move to London if LA doesn’t give them free stuff.

Old School Zero

They’ve improved their average to one point per quarter now, though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’ve scored six!? That should trigger an escalator clause in Keenum’s contract.

blaxabbath

I was hoping they’d go scoreless for a couple months.

But if they only have defensive TDs through October, that’s funny too.

blackroseMD1

Jobu is the injury god, right?

Fuck you Jobu.

Doktor Zymm

Case Worker Keenum : Adventures in Social Work

blaxabbath

When Palmer fucks up two passes from the 1, the next call needs to be a QB draw.

Maybe that’ll fuckin’ learn him.

blaxabbath

What the fuck???? POUND THE ROCK!

American Pie Story

Don’t just fucking stand there ya noobs!

Gratliff

Parenting 101: Don’t celebrate your son’s incredible and rare success by wearing his jersey until he puts up good numbers. And fuck whichever announcer that was that praised that mindset.

Doktor Zymm

I had a conversation about this at work this week. Parenting 101 is “Don’t name your kid Mike Hunt”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Peyton Manning reference, finish your meth

blaxabbath

Larry Fitzgerald is hussle.

I hope he can talk Megatron out of retirement to come here next year.

Doktor Zymm

How entertained will I be if RAM IT beats the Trutherhawks, on a scale of 1-10?

LemonJello

11?

litre_cola

RAM IT!!!!!

Sill Bimmons
blaxabbath

It is their annual win.

Bortleback

9-11

litre_cola

I see what you did there.

Clipboard Jesus

Clearly against the Hawks, it’ll be 12.

Sill Bimmons

451

litre_cola

Sitting here, drinking wine, chatting with all of you, watching the church folk who all look miserable leave church outside my window and across the street makes me feel like I made the right choice.

Doktor Zymm

Let’s do sacramental wine shots!

Sill Bimmons
The Maestro

Fucking streams keep crapping out. Stupid internet. Gimme more beer.

Old School Zero

And another one down, and another one down…

American Pie Story

How do JEEM AND PHEEEEEL manage to get worse every season?

LemonJello

Slow progression dementia?

King Hippo

It’s like that 1/x graph, endlessly approaching absolute zero….

trollsoharduniversity

Frank Gore just passed Franco Harris on the all-time rushing yards list. Doesn’t look like he’ll catch up to Franco in embarrassing defense of child molester cover ups.

Sill Bimmons

What a disgrace.

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blaxabbath

Is this the CBS F-team? David Johnson is not Chris Johnson.

Doktor Zymm

How do you know, have you ever seen them in a room together?

blaxabbath

Come to think of it, I have never seen Chris Johnson and David Johnson on the field at the same time.

Then again, I’ve never seen Chip Kelly coach this team.

ThePirateSloth

It could be his State Farm Approved Twin Brother (TM)

Sharkbait

Heja Sverige!

litre_cola

Thanks Scotchy. Was wondering but cant take eyes off redzone

Sharkbait

I will take that result. Anything to leave Lundqvist on the bench.

Sill Bimmons
King Hippo

FUCK YOU, PUTIN!

Old School Zero

85 goes 100? Finally.

Old School Zero

Or maybe I misheard something. I dunno. Just glad to see him still scoring.

blackroseMD1

Me too, along with 3 of my fantasy teams.

I’d like to see Rivers get Hunter Henry involved in the passing game a bit more as well, but yes, more TDs for Gates please.

blaxabbath

Skip and Shannon….

Why does Shannon want to be hated all of a sudden?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

?????????

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I deeply regret not keeping CJ Anderson

Dunstan

SEA-LA a close game, but not surprising considering that Pete Carroll was up all night posting on Infowars about the Chelsea bombs.

Doktor Zymm

Punt!
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blaxabbath

baguras?

Mother Puncher

Starter Jackets: Coats with your team on it ™

Sharkbait

This is already better than the Deepwater Horizon movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AAa0gd7ClM

blaxabbath

Winston looking a little out of sorts. Only one solution.

“Dirk, just let him rape.”

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Sill Bimmons

Grithead not out yet, still questionable.

litre_cola

Having Gordon in 2 leagues I would like him to sit this one out.

litre_cola

Make that 3. I AM ALL IN!!!

King Hippo

well, Allen Robinson sure has been a fine return on my auction dollar

blaxabbath

I think making the flag larger on the TB helmets was a poor move.

Does draw attention from their ugly ass numbers though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Back in front of a tv and met with the visage of elway and the voice of Simms. Where do we keep the clubhouse’s eye bleach and ear bleach?

Doktor Zymm
LemonJello

Truck’s late with the resupply. It was all used up for Rams-Niners last week. Sorry, moose outside should have told you.

ThePirateSloth

Next to the MouthEyes Conversion Kits.

litre_cola

Right next to the scotch cabinet.

Old School Zero

Travis Touchdownjamin

Kungjitsu

Fuck the Jaguars

Sharkbait

Pimms? Pimms.

LemonJello

Clots/Donks, not a turrible game?

fleshwound_NPG

Donks doing their part to not make the Fat Humps D look too bad

King Hippo

anyone should be able to defend a team playing without a QB. Maybe it says MOAR about the Panthers – who surrendered 27 to SF at home today…

blaxabbath

I do not condone a Lethal Weapon tv show.

Sharkbait

CBS is apparently not too old for shit TV

Old School Zero

Is it about kids with BB/Airsoft guns?

Moonbatting Average

Oof. Wow

Moonbatting Average

The Bengals RB fantasy situation is like Russian Roulette with 5 cylinders full

blaxabbath

“Sounds like you’re playing with an assault rifle.”

-CNN

Kungjitsu

The best pass rusher in Jags history is Tony Brackens. How is that even possible?

The Maestro

wanny doodhead

ThePirateSloth

Every time this Sprint commercial plays, all I can think is “TODD” from Community and I immediately hate him.

blaxabbath

Muscle Hampster status: out.

Doktor Zymm

Average # of knees in the NFL : 1.57

Doktor Zymm

Maybe I’ll watch the Jaguras game, in case I have to know about them for an interview. I’ll have to remember to not call them the Jaguras.

King Hippo

you’ll think of Khan moutheyes the whole time and you know it…

blackroseMD1

Someone get Danny Woodhead a grit IV stat!

Old School Zero

Losing Woodhead AND Allen for the season… at that point, just burn the place down and ship the ashes to LA.

blackroseMD1

Every damn year.

I think it’s about time they sacrifice the strength and conditioning coaches to the injury gods.

blackroseMD1

Every damn year.

I think it’s about time they sacrifice the strength and conditioning coaches to the injury gods.

Old School Zero

I think they actually did that–fired the whole staff–and it’s paid off in that we’re not watching O-linemen depart by the handful each week… but… uh… yeah. Two big ones in two weeks.

Brocky

So forgive me if this has been discussed already, but before jimmy’s injury, I still wanted the pats to go 4-0 without brady, just for dissent among the idiots. Does that still hold up with a third stringer?

Doktor Zymm

Moreso maybe?

Sharkbait

This. People at work were ready to dump Brady midway through the second.

Lord Joe Don Looney

Oh yes.

It will also add confusion to all the Southies who now have to root for the dark Matt Cassell.