Sea/LA-Pity the poor Rams. (but not their ownership or coach) They were blasted by the Niners on Monday night and now come back “home” to meet up with the Seahawks. Wr Austin was rated by Football Outsiders as the worst at his position last week. How does one go about accomplishing this? Well, what you need to do is catch a mere 4 of 12 targets for 13 yards. And he’s their #1 guy! Not much hope in Ramsville. BTW, qb Wilson’s high ankle sprain will play.
TB/Ari-Wr Evans, he of 99 yards/1 TD last week gets cb Peterson this week. On the other side wr Fitz gets cb Grimes. The former is not at the height of his powers any longer but his stat line of 8/81/2 begs to differ. Tampa lb Alexander has his eyes set squarely on rb Johnson. I really like both these youngsters-they’ll both be super productive for the next decade.
Jax/SD-Here is another Battle Royale of 0-1 teams. The Jags young D did quite well against a talented Pack team and despite the loss I bet they are coming to realize what they are capable of. Rb Gordon is the Bolts leading rusher with [is tapped on shoulder] Uh, hold on. Woodhead is leading the team? Really? C’mon! I’d just like to add that recently signed first-rounder Bosa is nowhere near game shape.
Atl/Oak-The Falcons leading rusher is Coleman with 22 yds. Yeah, as a matter of fact they did lose last week. I get the feeling that Atlanta’s small window of relevance is closing very fast. Qb Carr and co. found a way to beat the Saints in the Dome last week which should serve them well this week. Wr Jones will of course get his but on the other side Cooper should do the same.
Indy/Den-If you drafted qb Luck as your guy in fantasy, congrats on your 1-0 record! Today he’s up again a whole ‘nother kettle of horses in the Denver D. The Colts tissue-paper D ensures that qb Siemian will improve on last week’s pedestrian numbers. Look for the Colts to play catch-up all game long.
[tips hat] LET’S DO THIS, FOLKS!
Fuck it, turned my VPN off. I don’t care. I’m just tired of a potato quality stream. If CSIS comes to my door they won’t find a thing that proves I
Dont you live near CSIS?
Since CSIS is really just two guys in the back of a rusted-out Ford Aerostar on an old IBM 386 running OS/2 Warp, technically we ALL live near CSIS, friend.
/commenting blindfolded on phone from trunk of the Aerostar
If you are in Alberta and downtown Calgary, I can come rescue you out of the trunk, going to need to know the colour of the van, there are quite a few out there.
CSI: DFO
Kearse did a thing!
I need him to do more things.
Oh great, can’t even make a good D play without injuring yourself
How many more injuries can they take on D without having some players play both ways?
Blake Bortles as backup bike backer.
negative twelve
“sniper in my head” usually isn’t that accurate, guess my hydrocodone level is JUST right!
the “stare down the target EVERY FUCKING PLAY” finally burns Siemian
ROLL CALL-what you be drinking? Me? Scotch (natch) and Muskoka Brewery’s Craft Lager.
http://danstrom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/water-boy.png
I need to grab some lunch at the half.
But after that, first manhattan of the season (RIP Chelsea Bombing Victims if there are any).
Elderflower, gin and soda
Cotes du Rhone by Belleruche
Pimms.
Almost 1 and a half games…6 points. Good job LA.
They want to run off their fans so they can threaten to move to London if LA doesn’t give them free stuff.
They’ve improved their average to one point per quarter now, though.
They’ve scored six!? That should trigger an escalator clause in Keenum’s contract.
I was hoping they’d go scoreless for a couple months.
But if they only have defensive TDs through October, that’s funny too.
Jobu is the injury god, right?
Fuck you Jobu.
Case Worker Keenum : Adventures in Social Work
When Palmer fucks up two passes from the 1, the next call needs to be a QB draw.
Maybe that’ll fuckin’ learn him.
What the fuck???? POUND THE ROCK!
Don’t just fucking stand there ya noobs!
Parenting 101: Don’t celebrate your son’s incredible and rare success by wearing his jersey until he puts up good numbers. And fuck whichever announcer that was that praised that mindset.
I had a conversation about this at work this week. Parenting 101 is “Don’t name your kid Mike Hunt”
Peyton Manning reference, finish your meth
Larry Fitzgerald is hussle.
I hope he can talk Megatron out of retirement to come here next year.
How entertained will I be if RAM IT beats the Trutherhawks, on a scale of 1-10?
11?
RAM IT!!!!!
http://www.masscops.com/data/avatars/l/23/23953.jpg
It is their annual win.
9-11
I see what you did there.
Clearly against the Hawks, it’ll be 12.
451
Sitting here, drinking wine, chatting with all of you, watching the church folk who all look miserable leave church outside my window and across the street makes me feel like I made the right choice.
Let’s do sacramental wine shots!
http://www.churchmarketingsucks.com/graphics/2004_11_04suckshirt.jpg
Rams played that perfectly. Gurley with a couple of runs and then to Kendricks for the long passing gain.
Fucking streams keep crapping out. Stupid internet. Gimme more beer.
And another one down, and another one down…
How do JEEM AND PHEEEEEL manage to get worse every season?
Slow progression dementia?
It’s like that 1/x graph, endlessly approaching absolute zero….
Frank Gore just passed Franco Harris on the all-time rushing yards list. Doesn’t look like he’ll catch up to Franco in embarrassing defense of child molester cover ups.
What a disgrace.
Right up there with Tony Dorsett in a Broncs uni.
Is this the CBS F-team? David Johnson is not Chris Johnson.
How do you know, have you ever seen them in a room together?
Come to think of it, I have never seen Chris Johnson and David Johnson on the field at the same time.
Then again, I’ve never seen Chip Kelly coach this team.
It could be his State Farm Approved Twin Brother (TM)
BREAKING: Sweden up 2-0 on Russia!
Heja Sverige!
If that means “Go Eric Karlsson!” I’m all in.
Thanks Scotchy. Was wondering but cant take eyes off redzone
I will take that result. Anything to leave Lundqvist on the bench.
http://media.fyre.co/rcjL8DpISAeGuLelq5Mp_Hank.jpg
FUCK YOU, PUTIN!
85 goes 100? Finally.
Or maybe I misheard something. I dunno. Just glad to see him still scoring.
Me too, along with 3 of my fantasy teams.
I’d like to see Rivers get Hunter Henry involved in the passing game a bit more as well, but yes, more TDs for Gates please.
Skip and Shannon….
Why does Shannon want to be hated all of a sudden?
?????????
I deeply regret not keeping CJ Anderson
SEA-LA a close game, but not surprising considering that Pete Carroll was up all night posting on Infowars about the Chelsea bombs.
Sorry, my bad, missed FG!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ayq_LNSWSDo/UmQ2Po9EX9I/AAAAAAAAL2U/NLau-pqt8WU/s1600/baguars+2013.gif
Punt!
baguras?
Starter Jackets: Coats with your team on it ™
This is already better than the Deepwater Horizon movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AAa0gd7ClM
Winston looking a little out of sorts. Only one solution.
“Dirk, just let him rape.”
Grithead not out yet, still questionable.
Having Gordon in 2 leagues I would like him to sit this one out.
Make that 3. I AM ALL IN!!!
well, Allen Robinson sure has been a fine return on my auction dollar
A buck? Do you play with grandmothers?
I think making the flag larger on the TB helmets was a poor move.
Does draw attention from their ugly ass numbers though.
Back in front of a tv and met with the visage of elway and the voice of Simms. Where do we keep the clubhouse’s eye bleach and ear bleach?
It’s signposted.
http://img3.accuform.com/files/damObject/Image/huge/MFSD544.jpg
Truck’s late with the resupply. It was all used up for Rams-Niners last week. Sorry, moose outside should have told you.
Next to the MouthEyes Conversion Kits.
Right next to the scotch cabinet.
Travis Touchdownjamin
Fuck the Jaguars
Pimms? Pimms.
Clots/Donks, not a turrible game?
Donks doing their part to not make the Fat Humps D look too bad
anyone should be able to defend a team playing without a QB. Maybe it says MOAR about the Panthers – who surrendered 27 to SF at home today…
I do not condone a Lethal Weapon tv show.
CBS is apparently not too old for shit TV
Is it about kids with BB/Airsoft guns?
Oof. Wow
The Bengals RB fantasy situation is like Russian Roulette with 5 cylinders full
“Sounds like you’re playing with an assault rifle.”
-CNN
The best pass rusher in Jags history is Tony Brackens. How is that even possible?
wanny doodhead
Every time this Sprint commercial plays, all I can think is “TODD” from Community and I immediately hate him.
Muscle Hampster status: out.
Average # of knees in the NFL : 1.57
Maybe I’ll watch the Jaguras game, in case I have to know about them for an interview. I’ll have to remember to not call them the Jaguras.
you’ll think of Khan moutheyes the whole time and you know it…
Someone get Danny Woodhead a grit IV stat!
Losing Woodhead AND Allen for the season… at that point, just burn the place down and ship the ashes to LA.
Every damn year.
I think it’s about time they sacrifice the strength and conditioning coaches to the injury gods.
Every damn year.
I think it’s about time they sacrifice the strength and conditioning coaches to the injury gods.
I think they actually did that–fired the whole staff–and it’s paid off in that we’re not watching O-linemen depart by the handful each week… but… uh… yeah. Two big ones in two weeks.
So forgive me if this has been discussed already, but before jimmy’s injury, I still wanted the pats to go 4-0 without brady, just for dissent among the idiots. Does that still hold up with a third stringer?
Moreso maybe?
This. People at work were ready to dump Brady midway through the second.
Oh yes.
It will also add confusion to all the Southies who now have to root for the dark Matt Cassell.