Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

[is floating on a metaphorical cloud because the Giants didn’t blow a close one]

Hey! What? How are you doing? [shakes cobwebs from head] TO THE GAME!

Phi/Chi-What is there to like about these two teams? The Eagles are in a weird spot because of Kelly’s shenanigans and the Bears are a teenage girl’s embodiment of the phrase “What. Ever!” Okay. I’ll give it a try. Eagles wr Matthews benefited the most from qb Wentz’ not-lousy debut. He went for 7/114/1. He could do more damage against Bears cb’s that have recently been rated as “meh”. Last week qb Cutler was all kinds of meh as well, sporting a 16-29/216/1TD/1INT line. Perhaps if we all get/continue to be high this game turns out to be watchable.* Despite being at home I’m thinking that the Bears end up at 0-2. Not that I’m cheering for the Eagles. No way.

NOW LET’S HAVE SOME FUN OUT THERE!!!

*does anyone have some spare glue I could borrow?

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JustStopDude

Do we have another 1st round daft pick to trade?

-Vikings GM

...

This comment is even better with the typo.

Smithchez

A FIRST ROUND PICK, VIKINGS. A FIRST ROUND PICK.

JerBear50

That was a shockingly competent drive by Bradford.

Sharkbait

And he’s broken.

JerBear50

I’m guessing he’ll be back in. It’s non-throwing hand.

Sharkbait

Some Pats fan friends of mine on FB are already calling for Fetushead to fill in for 2 weeks when Garoppolo is out

Old School Zero

tell him that they already traded for Kaep that it’s a done deal

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bahahahahahahahaha

Unsurprised

I just came

Col. Duke LaCross

I approve of The Time being used as bumper music.

Doktor Zymm

Are you the Patriot’s backup? LIVE SOME SORT OF DREAM!!!

Brocky

That was actually pretty good until bosworth showed up.

and I say that as someone who likes the boz

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Col. Duke LaCross

Underrated 80’s action flick. He had a giant damn lizard as a pet for chrissakes!

Unsurprised

Excuse me. It’s a Komodo DRAGON

Unsurprised

The. New banner quote is perfect

Romonobyl

TD Rudolph the Five-Legged Reindeer (do NOT google that)!

Smithchez

Sarcastic Blair Walsh cheer!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I laughed out loud when Blair Walsh got drafted in my leagues that picked in person

Gratliff

Tastykakes right on the menu. It is truly our holy land.

I Will Dye Blonde

But where are the freedom fries?

Unsurprised

The subs are not named for different presidents. 1 star

Gratliff

Look at that beautiful goddamn thing.

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Doktor Zymm

They have verily touched the ball down and there was much rejoicing!

Shogun Marcus

yay

Trevor Semen

I read that in the voice of Flula Borg

litre_cola

That was a hell of a pass.

Dick E. Phuck

Sam Bradford:

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Old School Zero

OH SHIT BONEITIS

Doktor Zymm

I had no idea he was so busy being an 80’s guy!

Unsurprised

Bradford never should have accepted that gift blanket from Dan Snyder.

Sharkbait

“Excuse me viewers. Have you a moment to discuss our Lord and Savior Blergh?”

-Minnesota O-Line

Sill Bimmons
Beastmode Ate My Baby

This is either some strange code, or Sill has been kidnapped by the Secret Cabal of Allied Restaurateurs.

Sill Bimmons

Yes.

Doktor Zymm

Lothar of the Hill People

Gunther is the Minnesota-est name in football

Dunstan

Wasn’t that the name of one of the assistants on “Coach”?

Unsurprised

Now he’s a starfish.

Brocky

close, but he plays for gb, and there’s no h in is name

ThePirateSloth

THIS GUY MICAH HYDE, I CALL HIM JAMBI BECAUSE MYCAH LEKA HYDE MYCAH HYDEY HO

Sill Bimmons

EXACTLY

Unsurprised

Holy shit that’s good

Sill Bimmons
litre_cola

There is one of those here. It is ace.

Gratliff

I had poutine in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It was shit. I assume it is all shit based on this one experience.

Unsurprised

Been there. Good choice

Brocky

Collingsworth: “Now that can be called a foul”

But you know, packers

Doktor Zymm

IF YOU’VE GOT ANY YARBLES!

Sharkbait

That last pass had “Please call this PI” written all over it.

blackroseMD1

Two completed passes in a row by Sam Bradford?

Did I fall and hit my head?

litre_cola

BAhahahahahah Mrs Cola, just said that quarterback looks crosseyed. Is he?

Trevor Semen

He throws like it.

Gratliff

Fuck you unconventional file extension. This one will only work about 30% of the time:

http://i.imgur.com/1qcXbjV.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Oblongs was greatly underrated. It’s a gem.

Sill Bimmons

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LemonJello

Now I want bbq…thanks, Sill!

King Hippo

I wouldn’t want to be one of Purple Jesus’ kids tomorrow.

no, that’s in poor taste. He’d never see them on a weekday.

Brocky

Gunter?

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Doktor Zymm

I really like Op Ivy. Dealbreaker? Probably, most things are for me.

Shogun Marcus

All I know is that i don’t know…

Trevor Semen

That’s the first time I actually watched the Ice-T commercial
It is a very good commercial

Old School Zero

Next they should have an iced tea stand with people coming by saying “I loved your lemonade!” to Beyonce sitting there.

Trevor Semen

I love a lot of things about Beyonce, her Lemonade is not one of them

Trevor Semen

Unless lemonade is supposed to be an innuendo, in which case it is great

Trevor Semen

It is not an innuendo, so my original comment still stands

Sill Bimmons

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Romonobyl

A vegan nightmare.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Funny, I thought Aaron Rodgers had a reputation for outstanding ball control.

Brocky

Minnesota: good at causing turnovers.

But bad at keeping them

Lothar of the Hill People

Did you hear that the purple endzones in this stadium were painted with genuine lingonberry jam?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I heard they used Prince’s blood. He kept extra in vials on Lake Minnetonka.

Romonobyl

So whenever I’m watching a game and my wife, who is not a big feetsball fan, hears the name Ha Ha Cinton-Dix, she looks at the TV, then at me, then rolls her eyes and returns to her iPad.

Sharkbait

Glad it’s not just me that giggles like a 12 year old whenever I hear his name

Lothar of the Hill People

I think it’s a shame Olivia Wilde didn’t keep her given name of Cockburn. Then she could marry Clinton-Dix and he could take her name and be:

Ha ha Cockburn!

litre_cola

Mrs Cola does the same thing. She states how can you not laugh at that, he had better be good.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Minnesota can play China Grove because zero Asians live there.

Shogun Marcus

Asiata?

Shogun Marcus

What about all the Hmong? I know nobody counts them, least of all Asia, but they are.

Doktor Zymm

Good judgment means I’m alone tonight.

Old School Zero

Good judgement, woo! That’s some good responsibilitying!

Smithchez

THIS SAM BRADFORD I CALL HIM THE POLTERGEIST BECAUSE WHATEVER POCKET HE INHABITS IS A NATIVE AMERICAN BONEYARD

Sill Bimmons

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Dunstan

Ahhh! Scary!!! Must vote for Trump now!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

EVERY CORNER

/drools

Romonobyl

Now yer talkin’!

Old School Zero

loogit that fancy new pile o’ debt there in miny apple louse!

blackroseMD1

AP is Hernandezing so many fantasy teams so far this season.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/raises hand

blackroseMD1

One of mine too.

Dick E. Phuck

A matchup for the ages: Mr. Glass vs Football Rock Hudson.
Two will enter, only one will come out on top.

Dunstan

But only one wants to.

litre_cola

superb

Doktor Zymm

It’s quite odd hearing Maryland referenced as a reliable farm school that people come from

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you whisper “Sam Bradford” into a mirror three times, one of his ligaments will pop.

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons
Dunstan

Jeff George mention — everybody drink!

Smithchez

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