I had two more macro observations on the EPL season. First, if’n you take a gander at the table, everyone is right where a purist would say they should be. That is, nobody is higher in the table than a side with a better goal differential. I can’t recall evar seeing that, at least after a statistically significant number of games have been played. Five isn’t exactly a metric fuckton, but it is 13.2% of the season (rounding up), so it ain’t nuthin’ neither.

Second, as the title foreshadows, it is my blue collar Blues who are the only side within a game of mighty City. Although Everton certainly can’t look past Bournemouth this Saturday (10:00, Extra Time) or next week’s Friday Night Footy special with Palace…the 15 October trip (after another dumb fucking week off) to the Etihad could be very special indeed.

Goodies await the early birds this Saturday, with 11th position Less Foxy Footy invading Old Trafford (7:30, NBCSN). Both these sides could use a boost (Manure only in 7th themselves), and both have been fairly open (with leaky defenses) in the early going. The Redshite hosting Swans get 10am NBCSN feature treatment, with everyone else (even Swans hosting Man City) relegated to Extra Time. NBC must REALLY want you to see them fellate the German Elton John (hat tip, DonT).

Arsenal host Chelski (each on 10 points, at 4th and 5th, respectively) at 12:30 (NBCSN). This is well-worth your time to see some real hate flow forth. And some reasonably good lesser footy, as Arsenal and Arsene try to prove themselves better than last season’s late stumbles. Kinda bullshit that fucking golf bumps it off big boy NBC. I still don’t believe Chelski are a legitimate contender, sorry. A win here would be hard for me to rationally dismiss, though.

Back with the one-game Sunday bullshit, and it’s a dog again – 18th position West Ham hosting 14th place Soton (11:00, NBCSN). Both sides really should be better than that, though. But I still probably will watch MOAR RedZone fantasy buildup show. CUE HEROIC MUSIC!!!!

Watford and Burnley play really and truly Lesser Monday Night Footy (3:00, NBCSN). Who fucking cares.

Onto the JV action, such that it is…

Georgia at Ole Miss (Noon, ESPN)

Georgia is currently ranked 12th, according to the ESPN schedule page. This is an object lesson in the principle of inertia, which along with corruption, are the two bedrock values the JV NFL operation could not survive without. Oh, that Johnny Reb gon’ be angry. You got money in your pocket itchin’ to be gambled? BET BIG ON OLE MISS. Hippo don’t say this very often, ppl.

Wisconsin at Michigan State (Noon, BTN)

Yeah, in this oversaturated teevee coverage day and age, on a super weak week…#11 vs. #8 (hey, pssst…inertia calling again) are playing at noon and relegated to the conference’s own network. PRO TIP – Even if one or both of these teams DOES turn out to be good, this will have the viewability/Q rating of puppy abortions.

Florida at Tennessee (3:30, CBS)

This year, there truly is no alternative to watching this steaming bowl of shit. Cutcliffe vs. Spurrier no doubt predates when several of you’ns were born, FFS. Yet still it gets feature treatment, year after bludgeoned year.

LSU at Auburn (6:00, ESPN)

I still have no idea who either of these teams will be come late October/November. But especially in Aubie’s case…the losses are piling up too high, and the hole might get too deep unless one wins this here fixture. This also marks one of those weeks where ESPN finally starts kicking in at 6 in case the 3:30 games all blow, at least.

Stanford at UCLA (8:00, ABC)

Maybe the most interesting game of the day. UCLA managed its test at the Stormin’ Mormons, though not at all in attractive fashion, nor in the way expected (the Bruins D carried the O for a change). Whereas Stanford simply made mincemeat out of Southern Cal…but the Men of Troy might just fucking suck this year. Perhaps the PAC-12 game of the year?

Arkansas at Texas A&M (9:00, ESPN)

OK, I lied, this is at least co-game of the day. The winner here lays claim to “team most likely to beat Roll Damn Tide” and the Aggies have a late night College Station crowd (and a terrifying DL) at their backs. But Pig Sooey is a tough out under any and all circumstances.

Washington at Arizona (10:30, PAC12)

A true challenge of a late night/tweaker/DVR game! You have to find the PAC12 Network, and watch two completely alien teams, one of which is ranked #9 in the muthafuckin’ country somehow. But Bear Down for Midterms is a crusher of dreams, and will it happen again? Tune in/wake up and brew some coffee to see…