Deciding the ACC on 1 October and Other Lesser Footy Matters

Yes, this statement is certainly true if Lamar! (pictured above) runs train on Clemson, as he did on FSU. Otherwise, it may be a complex series of tiebreakers. Anyway, let’s take thins in loose order. It’s bad enough this post already misses Everton in Friday Night Footy (WOO!!) and the Friday Night JV NFL fixture between Top Ten Washington and Stanford.

Swans host Liverpool to kick off your Saturday morning (7:30, NBCSN). I will be sleeping in to recover from Huskies pissing on the Tree (hopefully), thank you very much. I will hope, but not expect, that Swans do a thing.

Hull host Chelski in the main 10:00 window match (NBCSN). Extra Time offers alternative options amongst crap sides in Sunderland/West Brom, Watford/Bournemouth, and West Ham/Middlesbrough.

Since the FA don’t want to compete with Miami/GT (spoiler alert), we proceed to four Sunday fixtures. Manure Host Stoke at 7:00 (NBCSN), followed by the match of the weekend, 2nd place Spurs hosting 1st place City (9:15, NBCSN). Even if Spurs win, they would remain 1 point out of the top spot.

If for some reason you don’t want to watch 1 vs. 2, Leicester and Soton are available on CNBC. Burnley host Arsenal (11:30, NBCSN) in case you don’t want to watch the RedZone Channel fantasy show for some even weirder reason. Turning that page…

Miami at Georgia Tech (Noon, ESPN2)

The early games are shittier than usual, and this is seriously the closest thing I could find to watchable teevee. UGH.

Tennessee at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

Staying in the Peach State, we shall see just how embarrassed the Dawgs are, along with how hungover the Vols be. I imagine the answer to both queries is “a fuckton” but Georgia is also shitty, whereas UT is just mediocre. So this one sets up for another Creamsicle Comeback.

Wisconsin at Michigan (3:30 at ABC)

A game between two Top Ten teams that I have no interest in watching. If the line is 12.5 or less, I would bet on the Wolverines here. Teams are too similar in style, and talent will win out.

Texas A&M at South Carolina (4:00, SECN)

Can you spell “Looking ahead to Alabama trap game?” HIPPO CAN. Cursing the fact that I do not live close to a sportsbook for this one, much like Johnny Reb/UGA last week.

Oklahoma at TCU (5:00, Fox)

STOP PUTTING ALL THE INTERESTING GAMES IN THE SAME TEEVEE WINDOW, GODDAMNIT!!!!

Louisville at Clemson (8:00, ABC)

Don’t pass out before this one, kids. It’s a great environment for a night game, and the tough road setting is the only way Lamar! is anything but an overwhelming favourite. I’m still betting on him with my imaginary Hippo dollars. Along with Roll Damn Tide, easily the two best JV sides in the country.

Arizona at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)

Kind of a weak-assed late night tweaker/DVR/insomniac game, but both these teams coming off late heartbreaker losses last week, and it will be somewhat interesting to see how they rebound. If the Bruins have ANY killer instinct…they’ll show it here.