Yes sports fans, you read that correctly.
Sexy Friday is back!!!!!
And for some inexplicable reason, the upper management of DFO has decided that I’m a good choice to bring it to you. A month ago I stated that those guys were some smart fellers. Sadly, I’m no longer so certain. Even I wouldn’t choose me. But here we are, they did, and I will do my best to not make them regret it.
It’s going to be a learning process. A work in progress, as it were.
Most of you are aware that this was Martin’s baby for quite a while. And the last thing I want to do is disrespect him and his fine work by being a copycat. I honestly don’t yet know what format this will settle into under my management. As others already know, but the rest of you fine folks are included in, I want this to be something we can all have fun with. I welcome any and all suggestions/criticisms in the comments. I might even read them in between bong hits. Time will tell. 😉
There will be dick jokes. There will be news and notes as any good open thread has. And there will be SEXAY!!!!
We’ll find the balance, together. Please bear with me as we find it.
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So what’s going on in sports?
The MLB playoffs are in full swing. The Jays were gifted their ticket, in spite of their fans trying to gift O’s leftfielder Hyun Soo Kim with a beer. You stay classy Toronto. The Giants earned their ticket. Mad Bum is still a thing. Love that guy, but hate that he tosses for that team. Like any of you cares.
By the time this thread goes live, it appears the Jays will have taken a 2-0 series lead over Tejas. Up Yours Toronto. Josh Donaldson especially. But I’m also looking at you Joey Bats and Troy Tulowitzki. Edwin Encarnacion, you are permitted to live. For now.
The rest of tonight’s games:
- Sawx @ Injuns: 4:38pm…Game 2, Injuns up 1-0
- Trolley Dodgers @ National Disgrace: 5:38pm…Game 1 (yes, when first in existence in Brooklyn, that was their name)
- Gigantic Douchnozzles @ Mini Bears: 9:15pm…Game 1 (Go Meteor!!!! But spare Zymm’s house plz.)
Buck Showalter still hasn’t been fired yet. I’m the only who is still holding onto that apparently. And I will continue to until he’s canned. Or I die. Whichever comes first. Buck, sorry…I like you. But you can no longer be trusted.
Hockey is almost back. Which will be a welcome distraction from NFL, CFB and (future) NBA crap.
Cam Newton’s head finally said screw this noise.
Blaine Gabbart’s head was never in question, which is why he’ll pull up some pine himself it appears. But at least we’ll have the chance to make fun of Kappuhrnikk some more. Not to mention Chip’s Ahoy. As an aside….all black unis with gold helmets is not a good look.
Tiger Woods still thinks he can swing a club. That’s as riotous as….well, me still thinking I can swing a club. But at least Safeway will be well represented. No word yet if he’ll play at the A&P Open. But it does look good for the Kroger Invitational. SMGDH.
OK, that’s enough of that.
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So for the SEXAY this week, I had a hard time deciding on the theme. What I finally settled on was “Getting to Know You”. Errrrr….you getting to know me, that is. Since this is my initial foray into this particular….thing. I figured I’d tell you all about myself. No, I’m not going to show you sexy pictures of me, don’t worry.
As I alluded to above, I love golf. I play it regularly…and also quite poorly these days.
I also play the drums. Also quite poorly these days.
But my true love is photography. I do that rather poorly as well. But it has allowed me to meet some very interesting people.
ProTip: If you want to meet girls, buy a damned camera. Trust me on this, hot girls love having their picture taken. Like a really lot. Like a REALLY REALLY lot.
Anyway, I’ve been fortunate enough over the years to make friends with some very good photogs and learn from them. And some very lovely models as well. Sadly I’ve learned nothing from them. I’m still totally ugly and junk.
But, all of these folks are either models I know, or the photos were taken by photographers I know. I’m not going to name names. If you’re stalkery enough, you can probably track them down anyway. But please don’t. These people really are my friends. And if you stalk them, at least don’t tell them I’m the catalyst please.
–
(Note: All of these photos are posted publicly somewhere or another…I’m not betraying anyone’s privacy here…but still don’t stalk them please)
This is my newest model friend. She works with some great photogs, a few of whom I know. But not well. But I do admire their work….
She also is rather more playful these days….
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This young lady is Italian/Filipina, an interesting mix, no? It works well I think. And she lives in Canadia. Holee Molee…
More of her? Yes please….
And yes, even more….
–
This lovely lady is a friend, though not a very close friend. Which makes me sad. The photographer is an acquaintance at best, but damn…nice work dude.
–
Now we’re getting to the meat of it….don’t say phrasing please. This photo is of a lovely young French national. I know her in passing. But this photo was taken by my VERY good friend. More on her to follow…
And this young French national is the young lady who took that photo above. She is my French little sister (no not my biological sister). She works on both sides of the camera. And if you stalk HER, I will have to inflict pain upon you. This is one of the most special people in my life. Don’t make me regret posting her here. Seriously.
And now, it’s time for equal time for the ladies. I don’t know this guy or whomever took the photo. Boyz, avert thine eyes….
–
So there you have it. Feel free to comment below, respectfully please, about my friends (or this douche who seems way too proud of his pubic hair). Feel free to chime in with suggestions/criticisms about how/what I can do better next time.
But most of all, please have fun.
And here…have one of my not sexy, but kinda pretty and calming photos. This is a tWBS original, fwiw, taken just a couple of months ago at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. Drink it in, relax….and have a beer…
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http://67.media.tumblr.com/c9c828be4c7c4435e0f262b07628cb0d/tumblr_oep06fiAlq1r8u8uko1_500.png
She finished her beer before driving Ted to the hospital to get his hand stitched up.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/788a9031ac78c14d4dafb52e1667e190/tumblr_mu1rvcsfe81r9qhhio1_1280.jpg
He went for the pussy grab and got denied?
Okay, now it goes to the girlfriend choker to nail this one down.
Eugh. I’m too dirty at this point to object.
Wait, what?
http://img3.etsystatic.com/000/0/5726932/il_fullxfull.257530983.jpg
And sirens to follow! I would switch to the police scanner, but the real action won’t happen till after the game. And I’m sleepy. I think it’s bed, and reading a few pages of The Brentford Chainsaw Massacre for me. Nighty night!
Goodnight Zymm
Show Bill Murray more often FS1. That seems to be good luck. Plus we get to see Bill Murray
Settle down Cubs fans. That’s just one run. In 8 innings.
Large amounts of cheering. I assume Cubs good. ICRM probably just smiled in his drunken stupor.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d3dcd165ec3d38b914736c6311966d21/tumblr_obwubsTWCN1qdkm5co1_1280.jpg
Drinking one of these
I believe 9/15 was the second time they’ve brewed it. I paid $4 a can for 6. A few days later I saw it going for $55 a can on the interwebs.
It’s really, really good, but it ain’t that good.
Sweet Jesus that is a big picture.
And now let’s go to Dok for a reaction!
I can’t get cable. or overhead lighting because I live in a house that was built semi recently that decided not to put in any wiring for anything, so I watch with my Time Warner account on my computer. It eats up all of my bandwidth at all times to get the picture to remain HD. No option to make it stop eating all the bandwidth so I can use my computer normally during commercial breaks.
FUCKIN’ JAVY
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/2255908/images/o-UPSIDE-DOWN-CAR-facebook.jpg
http://i.makeagif.com/media/12-20-2015/K4VbXb.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/005073bc1b56a72c53e20f96d5a02ef7/tumblr_oefq8tE9Vl1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geqmOTd2vvI
Eh, it’s already on the internet, me putting it here can’t possibly make anything any worse.
NOT COLD AT THE ZOO!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6e2e408dc7c79dc6c00978849fa90156/tumblr_odzist6qJ71sxeiwto4_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0dc0c9d449091e0411e5d9ff7be32f62/tumblr_oefrrb5cOy1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fcfad460575a66402862facf9159ad04/tumblr_oefrxcJnwy1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grw5AT5kq0c
https://www.flickr.com/photos/alxmac/4313585676/in/album-72157622865138270/lightbox/
http://www.images6.memedroid.com/images/UPLOADED12/511c6af68d118.png
The one on the left doesn’t even have a proper keystone…pffft
WOULD NOT BANG!
Oh we got a duel goin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS79uxNFoHw
http://67.media.tumblr.com/ea84ddcd15ccd7734c292b1fb5682f6b/tumblr_nckgxhgYUH1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
She’s really attractive but I’ll be goddamned if I say ‘Lucy’ was a good movie.
This is not relevant…. to anything.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/eaf2be71489419cee088c5cc8bb625ad/tumblr_mt47ve4Tza1qk0r9ao3_250.gif
Unattractive freckle on upper arm, 2/10 would not bang
Getting amped FOAR the Domers tomorry:
Yeah, I know they suck, but we no prize pig ourselves…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwVX4cG6F9s
HOLY FUCKBALLS!! THIS ONE TOO??
It’s quiet, did someone gas Wrigley? If so….genius!
I’d contribute $20 to this worthy effort!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7eecd22e6056dd269855ecc0a46ef016/tumblr_n0d2pg3JjK1rx3q30o1_500.gif
Time to pair up FOAR roller disco. Goddamnit, everybody can’t take Dok Zymm.
I’m really bad at teaching people how to skate. I know at least two people with bruised tailbones who will attest to this fact.
Nevermind, she is alive.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5f5fdd45b1235118f2036e2f35637e12/tumblr_oe141mQqid1qh1ay9o1_1280.jpg
Pretty sure Zymm’s brilliant idea of giving herself a vodka IV has her passed out on top of an empty pizza box by now.
Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t inject something with as many impurities as vodka. And it’s not really alcoholic enough to smoke. And snorting it would give me a headache. I’ll stick to drinking. Also, it’s not vodka.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4a299bde85627e6f185aa2b89981d94d/tumblr_mxx5i1Laaf1qg8i80o10_1280.jpg
Danger, Danger, Child Robot Molester Van in Vicinity!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9374facbb34570d09b080f379ed4e941/tumblr_ocf8htCpw61tp3cqmo1_1280.jpg
https://www.flickr.com/photos/alxmac/6950821385/in/photolist-bAdM32/lightbox/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLPE164XG6E
Going to the metal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOnKCcjP8Qs
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c93e51296ebba4c8103a8fac9496a9a5/tumblr_oeha1eLDZC1qckp4qo1_1280.jpg
Goddamn Catholics.
/proud alumni of St. Stanislaus Parochial School & Pierogi Factory
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b100116f0ea245aa6aaa8e55233ce0db/tumblr_n8khi0ovAH1rx4ivwo1_500.gif
Tacos?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/01e9a76224915273f10e64709fa05271/tumblr_oenoobkz5B1unt9vko1_1280.jpg
Trump supporters want to keep everything in that photo out of the country.
http://alfahir.hu/sites/default/files/indexfoto/why_4.gif
I would grab them right in the churros.
/no idea what that means
http://static4.businessinsider.com/image/524c31a469bedd1505dc4090/cueto-drops-ball.gif
CUUUEEE–TOOOOOOOO
CCUUUEEEE–TOOOOOOOOO
CCCCCCUUUUUUEEEEEE—TOOOOOOOOOO
Still the best Pirates moment of my lifetime.
Would have thought he went through puberty a long time ago.
I only post this because it was just in the trailer for The Accountant, ignore that because it is a good song.
Radiohead – Everything in its Right Place
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ9nYdHD814
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoLJJRIWCLU
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1f3e4ca7f2a098b855483ab467eb0a97/tumblr_o2qt5jFzHJ1unt9vko1_1280.jpg
Bouncy deserves a nice vacation.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/c722ce4a601fa1faad877438ec6eb0cf/tumblr_mqnnpsOjfN1ry0gfbo1_r4_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ed4d61e6a32d1c51ad83c1389aa128e7/tumblr_odm5mvT7vA1u66f05o1_500.gif
Goth Katy Perry, eh?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/sour_boyy/-2.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jQXt-R50zQ
if’n I could fuck that vocal performance, I would
/so would April Ludgate
//OMFG, I am Eskimo Brothers with APRIL!!!!!!
So… about Trump’s comments effecting his popularity amongst women:
https://twitter.com/USA1Trump/status/784585319576461312
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2240a75c107f950af9c8cbc5c7c76bfd/tumblr_oe531i4WI41r9a9keo1_1280.jpg
/hands may not be as large as appear in photo
this is also fairly maudlin:
Hey guys and gals, just getting ready to grab my wife’s pussy whether she likes it or not, because goddammit that’s my cat too and I want a turn to rub his fuzzy belly.
Now, what’s all this about an election?
Hehehehehe kitties.
Hopefully neither of your testicles gets ruptured.
I just laughed so hard it pissed my cat off and he left the room.
CIRCLE OF DRUNKEN LIFE
Holy shit…me too. Cat took off running when I spit vodka all over her dumb cat ass.
Hey tWBS, I don’t shoot people, but I’m a photographer too:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/alxmac/4132089664/in/photostream/lightbox/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7fsHtkNU7w
I don’t generally shoot people either. Land, water, sky/weather, and nature is my thing.
But I’m more than happy to lure half nekkid wimmin folk into getting half nekkid.
Oh fuck, new Five Nights at Freddy’s to not play through because goddammit that shit is fucked.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPJcfEQecwk
http://67.media.tumblr.com/e3f072d423506f4815c89d80a6789cb5/tumblr_ncmcgqXDAG1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Goddamn why can’t Cueto be shitty Royals Cueto?
EVEN. YEAR. Can’t you count, bro?
Side note: Mexican TV.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b3628e03f8a980cabc8a0dff6e6a2e16/tumblr_odn0gjPJid1u66f05o1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/e93d0f8d30c61399f7f4cf577db9938b/tumblr_odgw8iulwn1r2g7mto1_500.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/db835168158b3b0d66b52c5029e1a03f/tumblr_oebtys5uft1qa1qsoo1_1280.jpg
this is just good, I have no profound intro:
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7e734f47476a02e17aa97be91fffb1a0/tumblr_odg968s79o1tvm489o1_400.gif
I really think I’m going to murder you.
that weren’t even sad?
THIS is sad:
No, I was murderous for the song choice. Now I’m murder/suicidey again for this one and I’M TAKING YOU WITH ME DICKNUTS.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c152106e6905f3ae559471d6f95026dd/tumblr_nuwvcerpey1rpaylno1_400.gif
This seems appropriate FOAR Trump today:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_rF4kcqLkI
So, some of my favorite things from the early internet have stuck around.
http://www.studiohunty.com/tamagothi/
I wish I could find the Geocities page I made back in those days. I coded it myself!
geocities closed down a few years ago, so unless you ported it over to Angelfire like us smart guys you are out of luck
Padre Weaselo is always amused that The Arsonist is a pitching coach.
Ugh. I’m already saturated with alcohol and it’s only the 5th inning.
ALWAYS room for MOAR.