Your “With Any Luck, We’ll Get Out Of Here Alive” Sunday Night NFL Open Thread

Did your team acquit itself well? How about that play in that Lions game? How embarrassing. I feel sorry for the fans of *fill in the blank*. Maybe next week. Likely not. But that catch? Wow! The best I’ve seen in quite some time. And the Bears? Tell me about it. But enough of this, what about…TO THE GAME!

Indy/Hou-These are two teams with something to prove. As far as the Texans O is concerned they must prove 2 + 2=4. Tough one. Don’t start laughing Colts D-you’ve got String Theory, and no, it can’t involve kittens! Wr Hilton loves the Texans-thanks to a 223 yard game back in ’14 he’s racked up 750+ and 6 TD’s in 8 games against these guys. The other talented wideout in this game-Hopkins-has struggled with new qb Osweiler. Communication breakdowns and forced throws to Houston’s best wr have resulted in 4 of Brock’s 7 intercepts. But opposing qb’s tend to get well against the “Bend And Then Break” D of Indianapolis. [looks into crystal ball] I see tons of dropped passes, mental errors, missed tackles, overthrown throws and maybe something a little bit extra special. Perhaps we’ll be treated to a “running out of the back of the end zone” or a “coach freezes out his own kicker” or maybe even a “team-mates fight on the sideline” thingy. One can dream…

Go on…TYPE!

 

 

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

And Brocky, if you’re still awake, it was a reference to the joke about the three guys stranded on a desert island, an a physicist, a chemist, and an economist. They’ve been marooned for a while with no food and are starting to get restless. Finally one day, a can of beans washes onshore, and a fierce debate breaks out over how the hell they’re going to open it. The physicist goes first and says “it’s simple, we just need to measure the appropriate angle and force that will be sufficient to open the can of beans and build a contraption using palm trees to launch a coconut at the can, and the force will be sufficient to open it so we can eat the goodness inside.” The chemist interjects “that’s entirely too difficult. All we have to do is build a fire to heat the can, and the pressure will open it up AND our beans will be cooked.” The economist shakes his head and goes “this is simple. Assume a can opener.”

Brocky

okay… i get it now lol

stupid ass glass bottle concerns

Sill Bimmons

And the physicist always assumes a frictionless surface.

Because who wants to do a vector diagram with little backward friction vectors everywhere?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, but I was just making fun of the economist.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Windows 10. We are gonna hide the tools that allow the asshole that fixes your computer from fixing your computer

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Totally shit the bed on getting a bunch of work done in the last week, finally crossed one thing off my list 5 minutes ago. Do I build on that momentum or go to bed?

Mr. Ayo

Bed. Gotta rest up so you can build on that momentum tomorrow.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I finally figured out how to not have to log in every time Windows 10 restarts on its own which is always and randomly. This is the least user friendly OS they ever came out with.

Senor Weaselo

I was going to say, is it me or do they seem to get worse and worse?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Senor Weaselo

I did the thing that I was going to do yesterday today, so there’s that.

ballsofsteelandfury

I worked out twice this weekend. Once today during the morning games. I feel that was a better use of my time than trying to stay on top of what was happening in Miami.

The universe is telling me I made a good decision to get rid of Sunday Ticket.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Staying on top of what’s happening in Miami…isn’t that…?
Never mind.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not sure the reference you’re making but if it’s drugs, yes I could have used some drugs today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

More a dogpile of men in south beach while…
/I’ve said too much
😉

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that Buddy Cole’s area of expertise?

ballsofsteelandfury

They do have those. They also have topless women…

Senor Weaselo

And you gotta be hard. Greek underground gay porn hard.
/That’s gonna be one of our search terms now, isn’t it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBHj03i8_TE

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going Garbage because of one comment 3 hours ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GhPUAVgHZc

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have no idea what you’re talking about.
😉

Brocky

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I want to go steal a truck and do this.

Senor Weaselo

NAILED IT.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Hanging around here for a few more minutes before bed. I think my Netflix is still gonna be broken when I try it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UclCCFNG9q4

theeWeeBabySeamus

1 x one = 1
WordPress finally gets me.
I will now resume my personal depression until 8:30pm tomorrow night.
Have a good night, asstards.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqhRK_g7WJc

ALXMAC
Croooow

I think today’s MVP goes to LeSean McCoy for running all over Chip Kelly. Loved it.

ALXMAC
Sill Bimmons

I feel like everyone here is on a little bit of a downer.

Well let’s turn those frowns upside down!

http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m38xtvqraO1ruj09fo1_500.jpg

Senor Weaselo

Joe Flacco thinks that wintergreen milk is way too strong.

JerBear50

He’s ok with vanilla, but you can just keep that French vanilla for the fancy types.

Brocky

okay, i want to break my beer bottle, but I don’t want to clean it up, how do i break the bottle inside the recycling bin.

can’t throw it from far enough away to shatter it, can’t shoot it.

Engineering is fun!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Assume a can opener.

Sill Bimmons

And a frictionless surface.

Otherwise you’re going to go blind on calculations.

Brocky

…. I don’t know how to interpret this….

Brocky

and brocky goes with the delayed reaction.

beers already open, i wan’t to break this fucker like the heart of a cleveland browns fan

Gratliff

Football is stupid

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

How is this displayed on the Colts record? Losing to a team of people that met at a park and decided to play them for fun

King Hippo

NEVAR to be heard from again

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow, today was a day of football to forget

ALXMAC

So I fell down the rabbit hole of IMDB last night while passively re-watching “The Last Boy Scout” on cable – I knew that Fergie made it famous (before she was famous) from “Kids Incorporated” but I didn’t realize that Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mario Lopez, Eric Balfour, Shanice, and Martika also made regular appearances on the show before they were famous. Here is Martika to sum it up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvdLovAaYzM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Burn in hell Colts, you motherfucking wastes of human souls.
Houston….well, you live in Houston. My condolences.

Sill Bimmons

Oh please miss

Sill Bimmons

dang

Sill Bimmons

Dammit, almost got the 40+ yard reception bonus!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That was a Strong reception.

Brocky

i’m sorry everybody, i’m being a whiney bitch, but christ.

not even the packers losing is a pick me up

King Hippo

I would do even worse in your shoes. BUHLEE DAT

Gratliff

Lamar Miller and Matt Stafford have almost equaled my team’s score by themselves this week. I am truly the Jaguras of fantasy football.

Sill Bimmons

Holy FUCKBALLS Al

King Hippo

tv timeout in OT. JESUS FUCK!!!

The Maestro

Hail BLEERGH

theeWeeBabySeamus

Porn isn’t even an option at this point. I don’t think I’ll be erect for weeks after this abortion of a game.

Mr. Ayo
theeWeeBabySeamus

Blood flow restored.
Who needs Viagra?
And also….dayum.

King Hippo

how do you have 12 assholes like up in punt formation?

Sill Bimmons

I’m sure Buddy Cole knows…

Brocky

the rules of the realized wprld do not apply to interdemesional beings

Sill Bimmons

dafuq hodor

Brocky

divine intervention to fuck me over. only explanation

Romonobyl

I still have beer left that I don’t even want anymore.

JerBear50

Wait, what?

The Maestro

I personally am angling, as per usual, for The Immaculate Tie.

King Hippo

has there been a double FG tie since the rule changed?

Mr. Ayo

There’s been zero ties since the new rules. Why do I have HOU at -3.5? Time for another drink.

Brocky

with my luck today, colts are gonna punt, texans are gonna throw a pick six on their first play of possesion, and colts won’t bother kicking an extra point

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If it makes you feel better, I share your ire at the Colts. I am against Laman Miller and the Texas kicker and defense and I started this game with a 51 point lead. It is down to 14 with Fifty left to absorb tomorrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

5 + 3 = 8
/gets another shot pre OT
//Woooo!!!

Brocky

I guess I should appreciate the little things….

like the fact I’ve never had to do maths for the site.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JerBear50

I reward myself the same way when I balance my checkbook which may explain why I’m always broke.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Here we go…heading for OT…!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re prettier than I thought. You maybe ummm…wanna watch some porn when this is over? Leave the wife at home tho, she’d only complicate things.
😉

Beastmode Ate My Baby

As if I’d fall for that again.

I mean, as if I’d fall for that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Overtime? Between Indy and HOU?

What has DFO done to anger the Fubaw gods?

theeWeeBabySeamus

The list would be shorter if you ask what haven’t we done.
We bad ppl.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Have you not read any of the comments posted since the site started?

Sill Bimmons

Most of us are self abusers, some to an unhealthy degree.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

I just HAD to touch myself last night.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did I mention recently that even 32 years later….yes the Colts can still burn in hell with the corpse of Bob Irsay, all of his descendants, all of their pets, anyone they’ve ever loved, and the maid he used to bang in the foyer while drunk on peppermint schnapps?
/might have embellished some of that
//fuck the Colts

Senor Weaselo

Crazy enough, not the schnapps part!
/I can’t prove that

The Maestro

Tell us how you really feel, though.

King Hippo

I liked this on fozz’ behalf, since he done gone to sleep

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think his spirit might have just invaded me. Duz I needz exorcizm?

King Hippo

nah, just go with it for awhile

Sill Bimmons

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Brocky

joking aside i am furious right now

andrew luck you fucking shit head, taking a fucking sack like that. 1 point swing

i want to fucking break something.

only going to win in the KSK league, one i put admittedly very little effort into.

bears lose by 1. CUbs lose by 1. I’m going to lose by 1.

Seriously, what the FUCK did I do to piss the universe off?

JerBear50

I don’t know but I’d appreciate it if you found some different teams to like.

King Hippo

surely there will be scoring in added time?

Brocky

no guarantees. colts can’t seem to get into field goal range.

Mr. Ayo

Perhaps, but certainly snoring

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just by a quick glance it looks like you became a Chicago sports fan, things like this will happen when you make that life choice

King Hippo

remember, like Cris said…if you hesitate, you’ll never get that in

THE BEN KNOWS ,, HARF

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Maestro

Since the Texans aren’t a real team, it makes sense they’re going with this story-like ending to the game.

King Hippo

SQUARE ROOT OF NEGATIVE 1, BITCHES!!

Croooow

I was so sure he was going to miss the extra point again.

King Hippo

hey…wha happen??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Osweiler channeled his inner Montana.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holee fuck. Glad I waited on the porn.
(keyword…waited)

Senor Weaselo

IT’S… wait, no it isn’t.

Mr. Ayo

I mean, come on. How can there be a question?

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King Hippo

Hey, tWBS is tryin’ to wait here!!

Mr. Ayo

No time like the present!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Pinch the head, it delays….
Well, never mind.

Senor Weaselo

Normally this!
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